Saturday, April 20, 2013

Blind Items Revealed

June 24, 2012

This former B- list "singer" had a reality show for awhile. She has not done squat since then. Famous family. Her boyfriend keeps trying to dump her because she is so annoying. She calls and texts him literally 24 hours a day. The problem is he loves the sex and after two or three days gives in and calls her or texts her back then spends the next two weeks wishing he hadn't.

Ashlee Simpson

17 comments:

Anna Nonymous said...

Isn't Asslee the go- to guess now for screwed up younger sisters from famous families?

Sherry said...

Not sure Anna but it should be! Lord I depise this no talent leech.

The BLS said...

Didn't Pete Wentz talk about their hot sex in detail? I remember something to the effect of them getting it on the night they met and that they did it in front of a mirror...

Count Jerkula said...

Here's what the dude has to do:

Tell her she needs to give up the butt or he don't want her.

That way if she calls, it will be worth putting up with the yapping. Then just keep making the sexual requirements more and more depraved and filthy, until she eventually stops calling. Hopefully she has enough self respect to call it off before she is a party favor for his friends.

Something needs to be done so it is her decision to leave. If it is his decision, then she will always think she can change his mind.

Del Riser said...

Yikes@Count Jerkula, I'm guessing Asslee has already given up most everything. What he needs to do is use industrial strength super glue to bond her thumbs together....She'd never figure it out.

bullydog2 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
annabella said...

another thoughtful and nuanced comment by the jerkula, who has never had any actual human interactions.

sylmarillion said...

jerkula seems to be living up to his name.

Count Jerkula said...

I'm glad you enjoy my posting annabella.

As far as your attempt at a personal attack, I refuse to stoop to your level. Flail and fail at your leisure.

Mr Hollywood said...

I'm convinced I'd love the sex with Asslee Simpson too. That girl is so hot it's crazy

sbalb said...

Who's the BF, though? This was after she and Wentz split, right?

sbalb said...

Who's the BF, though? This was after she and Wentz split, right?

Fairmaiden327 said...

Lol Jerkula!

Danica said...

She dated Vincent Piazza from Boardwalk Empire, maybe he was the bf?

Scott said...

I have her albums and they're actually really good. I have a lot of snark in my heart, but I'm just sayin. Put on La La or LOVE now!

Scott said...

I have her albums and they're actually really good. I have a lot of snark in my heart, but I'm just sayin. Put on La La or LOVE now!

The BLS said...

La La is one of my go-to treadmill songs. She's a train wreck, but she has some catchy tunes.