Thursday, December 26, 2013

Jwowww Is Pregnant

In a world without Jersey Shore I could see Jwoww getting pregnant. She would be working the 8 to 2 shift at her local strip club in between pregnancies and probably be on her third or fourth marriage and promising herself that the next time she made $2500 bucks in a night from dancing she wouldn't spend it on stripper boots and hairspray but would really put some away for her future. With jersey Shore life is a whole lot different for Jwowww. She has been on television for about a half a decade now which far exceeds the shelf life of most reality stars, especially those on MTV that are not in challenge competitions for their entire life.

Jwoww and Snooki have been fighting a lot lately. A third season of their joint show was going to be difficult. I think each wants their own show and Jwowww figured out how to do it. She got pregnant and announced it to the world on Twitter yesterday with a photo of the ultrasound and a plea for people to start sending her sequined onesies. But classy ones.

18 comments:

TalksTooMuch said...

Ooooh, let's think up onesie sayings!

Mazel tov!

Henriette said...

Forget her pregnancy, look at her guy's eyebrows! That guy wears women's clothing in his spare time and does drag shows.

Count Jerkula said...

I dig stripper boots. Especially the platform ones w/ like these (SFW Ebay link), on a hot and tiny (under 5'3) stripper.


LottaColada said...

What, no mention of having sex without a condom in this post? *scratches head*

The Real Dragon said...

@lotta I know!

LottaColada said...

@dragon! Merry Christmas <3

Johnny said...

As always, Ent is totes jelly.

The Real Dragon said...

@lotta Merry Christmas Boo.

Merry Christmas CdAn unit

Entyonamobile said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TalksTooMuch said...

Yay entyonamobile!

TalksTooMuch said...

Aaaaaand I missed him again

Jacq said...

Congratulations on their sure-to-be orange baby.
I can see the doctor now, "you're the proud parents of a little 'riod monkey!"

Tigger Edgington said...

this was the most hilarious piece - Thanks!

Derek Harvey said...

her and Snooki are kinda guilty pleasures of mine. I don't watch their new reality show but I thought they were funny together on Jersey Shore. Like a delinquent version of Laverne and Shirley

Derek Harvey said...

her and Snooki are kinda guilty pleasures of mine. I don't watch their new reality show but I thought they were funny together on Jersey Shore. Like a delinquent version of Laverne and Shirley

Seven of Eleven said...

Lotta found her Dragon! There IS a Santa Claus!

I just can't with these people and their silly names. "jwoww" - how do you even pronounce it? Jay-wow-wow? Let's ask "the Situation"! In my real life™, I'm going to make everyone call me SevenOfEleven™. Sleven™ for short, maybe.

LottaColada said...

Sleven™- I was worried I was going to have to use the safe word again to find my boo!

The Real Dragon said...

@lotta and seven what happen? Someone tried to be me again?