Monday, December 02, 2013

Today's Blind Items- The Best Friend

This is one of the better most juicy items in a few weeks. Let me make this as simple as possible. You have a guy who is an actor and a writer but is probably C list in what he has accomplished. He has almost A list name recognition thanks to his A+ list actress girlfriend who has C list talent. The actress knows the actor cheated but she doesn't know who he cheated with. I do. It took a long time to put the pieces together but it all works out. It turns out the best friend of the actress who is a B+ list celebrity with a daily gig was doing her daily dose of vodka and coke and was doing it with the best friend's boyfriend. The next thing you know the two were going at it in that dirty kind of way our A+ list actress would never allow. When the celebrity realized what they had done she freaked out and thought she was going to lose her best friend and her access and feeling like a big shot. The boyfriend though promised to keep everything quiet. He was busted by his girlfriend because of the teeth marks all over his body. Our A+ lister told this to her best friend and a couple of other people at a dinner. One of the people at that dinner knows it is the trademark of the B list celebrity so put it together and passed it on to me who is passing it on to you.

48 comments:

jodi benton said...

Jennifer aniston
justin theroux
chelsea handler

MISCH said...

passing what on…? I'm clueless

FrenchGirl said...

jennifer anniston/Justin theroux/unfunny blond tv personnality who dated Uma Thurman's ex/Chateau Marmot's owner

Violet said...

You know that paragraphs are your friend don't you?

FrenchGirl said...

i don't buy Theroux cheats with Handler

texas rose said...

I wonder if this is why the wedding has been postponed? Sounds like aniston/theroux/handler would work although it may just be a mutual friend guessing at handler because of the biting thing. Could have been some other random chick that likes to bite.

Karen said...

@jodi benton got it! This was so easy that the Enties should have just tagged Justin, Jennifer, and Chelsea on the post.

Count Jerkula said...

All I gather from the blind is that the way too a woman's anus seems to be Cocaine and Vodka.

FrenchGirl said...

"It took a long time to put the pieces together but it all works out" (this sentence does very "made-up blind")

Kristin said...

Sounds like he wants out if that relationship.

FSP said...

the STDs

FrenchGirl said...

where is Courtney Cox when you needs her?

msgirl said...

Obviously supposed to be JA,Justin/Handler, but who is the best friend? Her and Courtney parted ways, could it be Sheryl Crow? And I thought Justin was off drugs. And Enty hates calling JA A+. Still, with the vodka remark, this is easy easy.

Kristin said...

Wasn't it Chelsea who called Jolie a home wrecker?

sandybrook said...

The only way Id touch Chelsea is from behind so I didn't have to look at her face and body. But this would answer a blind from last week with the girl begging him not to break up because she even let him have anal.

Renoblondee said...

Easy, easy!

AnonyMouse said...

Oh boy, what choice morsels! Jennifer Aniston and Chelsea Handler. /barf

HannahBanana said...

Yep I'm totally on the Aniston/Justin/Chelsea. I notice the girls didn't take their annual trip to Cabo for thanksgiving this year. Perhaps now we know why.

msgirl said...

Oh and Chelsea wasn't at her Thanksgiving dinner either!

Unknown said...

no anal for Aniston????

there is no way Gerald Butler did not put the ring on. he was even fondling it openly.

may be the salad tossing though...


@Count: you did not gather anything new, right. that you learn as a teen. and vodka alone helps, but its not a must have either. well, depending on the looks. or moves.

:-)

Nosy_Canuck said...

That must have been an awkward dinner. But this blind doesn't go on to say whether the actress has figured out that it's her friend? It just says that the actress busted her man, and that a 3rd random friend has put the pieces together. Interesting.

Count Jerkula said...

@Unknown: Nah. One thing I learned from partying is if you have coke, but don't do coke, chicks get scared, cause they know the things you are wanting and they know they will let you after a couple lines.

I too was shocked at no anal for Aniston. It would be such a let down to date a Greek broad, who has a fine ass, and not take a trip to the isles.

Total Snark said...

I'm with @Count for once. Aniston may have shortcomings, but her ass is not one of them. It's perfection. But can someone explain the appeal of Handler? She's fug, annoying, self-aggrandizing.

I just don't get it.

__-__=__ said...

She doesn't need a guy who couldn't make her beg for anal. Chelsea messed up big time. She'll never make it long term with only her fashion sense. JA deserves better, especially after Brad.

MO Mama said...

Totally sounds like JA/Justin/Chelsea, but shouldn't they have been referred to as "fiancé" instead of "boyfriend/girlfriend"? Doesn't ENTY usually use the correct term, while neglecting basic grammar skills??

TalksTooMuch said...

That's hilarious, buncha dudes sitting around discussing whether they think Jennifer Aniston "gives" anal. If more dudes knew how to do it properly, wouldn't have to be a gift

auntliddy said...

Texas, i just dont think jenn wants to get married. If she did, she wld be.

texas rose said...

Auntliddy - probably right- or she's scared to marry about how pitt divorce went down.

NaughtyNurse said...

Nosy, I don't think Jen knows he cheated with Chelsea…not yet anyway. She knows he cheated, because of the teeth marks (and postponed the wedding), but the other person at the dinner didn't tell her he was with Chelsea. She needs to kick his ass to the curb…him and his skin tight tees and skinny jeans. That guy tries way too hard.

AndyCane said...

Wow that shit was easy.
With that said, I wouldn't mind nibbling on a Mr. Theroux. I find that man quite yummy looking.

Worstcompanytoworkfor said...

Tell Reese thanks for the gossip!

Seabee said...

Enty might have well named names. Clearly, Aniston, Theroux and Chelsea. Good stuff.

MadLyb said...

I came in here to type what the first commenter did, but alas, was a day late and a dollar short as usual. Shame on you, Chelsea, but then again, if I were hopped on as much coke and vodka as you were, I totally would nom on Justine Theroux.

MadLyb said...

Wait, shame on Justin! He's the one in the allegedly committed relationship. I fell for the centuries old misogynist trap once again. :(

Lauren said...

Works for me.

Hegg said...

Haaha, I was thinking Theroux and Handler too!!

Lauren said...

Hysterical, girl. But... If your piece resembles the Campbell's soup can, you can find a different pucker to stuff. I'll take a swollen thumb, thanks.

Lauren said...

Works for me.

wahoo said...

How does Enty know about the coke, vodka and anal, according to the blind Enty's friend figured it out and didn't find out from Chelsea. I doubt Anniston told her friend that the cheating involved come, vodka and anal...

Lily said...

My thoughts exactly

Wombat said...

STD = drip drip drip
Vodka = Chelsea

Putitawayluv said...

Long time lurker, first time poster. Btw you lot have me in stitches with your comments more than I believe or care for most of the blinds..

But.. Or shall I say Butt (some anal puns anyone?).. Quick question.. How is she biting him so feverishly during anal. I've sat on this bus thinking way too long about anal / plausible body biting positions and unless you can really crane your mouth around.... I'm not even sure with it being those two, that I want to go any further down this road..

Meanie Rhysie said...

LOL @putitawayluv! That is one helluva first post! Welcome! ;)

Lauren said...

@putitawaylove...I just flossed my sinus cavity with scalding hot coffee at your comment. Hurt so good. I'm still laughing with the imagery you provided.

Count Jerkula said...

@putitawayluv: I'm going to guess the biting started as part of foreplay.

From there she could have bit his arm and maybe chest if he was stabbin the starfish in the spooning position.

She could have also bit his chest if they were doing it while she was on her back, ass raise by a pillow under it, and legs pinned to her chest, while he was bangin the balloon knot.

Or maybe he was pounding the pucker while she was riding him cowgirl and she leaned down to bite his neck and shoulders.

Lauren said...

@ Count:
Long time lurker, rarely post. Love you, love your work...butt PIAL "nailed it" with her question. It served as a motion picture clip for me, comedy wise.

Your "feedback"? Keep it comin'.

Putitawayluv said...

Hahahaha WHERE'S A GIF??! I was like getting all Elementary on dat ass in my head.. Thanks Jerkula for the help!! Lol now lets see.. Move a leg here.. Vodka bottle there.. Uh huh..

di butler said...

"I'll be there for youuuu, but I'll bang your dude, toooo"

Jen, you need better friends, gurl!