Monday, February 03, 2014

Random Photos Part Six

The top spot goes to Gwen Stefani from way back in the day getting the autograph of Sting.

Ben Affleck wearing the same clothes two days in a row.
Lady GaGa saw the Britney Spears show. I'm pretty sure this is a wax figurine they pretend is Britney.
Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett in Santa Barbara.
Maria Menounos and Chrissy Teigen.
Before heading to the Super Bowl, David Beckham watched the Knicks/Heat game.
Dakota Fanning looks really excited.
Eva Mendes arrives at the airport.
Fergie heads to a Super Bowl party.

54 comments:

Sugar said...

Looks more like Billy Idol with Gwen but whatever!

Candyland said...

Would it kill Rooney Mara to smile?

LottaColada said...

Love Maria's jacket.

Dakota looks kind of like Kate Hudson here.

parissucksliterally said...

It doesn't even look like Britney!

Renoblondee said...

Britney looks more like Gaga than herself!

Kym Is A Messy Canopener said...

Master is at work awaiting his new girl's arrival at the motel.  As instructed, she sent him a message with her room number as soon as she checked in and put the spare key card under the mat outside the door.  He smiles as he mentally runs through everything he is going to do with her and to her.



Just thinking of meeting him has her cunt wet and slippery.  She unpacks everything, organizing her BDSM gear so that all is accessible for her Master sadist.  She has never shown anyone her entire collection; too embarrassing to even consider.  But, her Master issued a command to bring everything to the hotel and lay it out for him.  She looks at the small but impressive array of items.  "What will he think of me after looking at this stuff?" she wonders. 



She takes note at the many dildos that are way too huge for her body and considers hiding them.  She has never been able to fit them into either of her holes, the pain was too intense.  She fears that her sadistic Master will force those objects in her for the first of many times if he sees them.



Her tits throb as she connects the IV setup so he can super-size her breasts the way he likes them.  She can imagine the "pin prick" as he inserts the IV catheter needles into her tit meat, and the sensations as the cold drops of saline begin to fill her breasts.  She dreads it when he slaps her saline-engorged tits, slamming them into each other; the pain is a thousand times more intense.  She lays out the breast pumps and connects the power cables but secretly hopes he will not make her pump.  The pumps shape her nipples thick and long and wide making them extremely painful to be touched yet alone sucked or whipped or restrained.



Her butt cheeks involuntarily clench and unclench as she setups up the enema equipment.  Master wants to clean his baby girl out so he can use her hard and deep.  She can imagine him sliding the tube deep inside her rectum and releasing the warm soapy water into her bowels.  When the bag is half empty and he allows her to expel, she can almost feel his cock fucking her throat as she empties.  She wonders if after he fills her with the remaining liquid, he will shove an inflatable plug inside to trap the foamy liquid in her colon?  She thinks for the second time about hiding the oversized dildos.  Locking the liquid inside allows the fluid to sit in her colon and causes horribly debilitating cramps.



It's been over an hour, her unpacking and room setup chores are completed per his email instructions.  She thinks back over his emails and realizes he never specified how she should be dressed.  She wonders if what she is wearing will entice him to throw her on the bed and fuck her within minutes of his arrival.  She is so horny, but sits quietly in the chair, hands clasped in her lap, waiting.  All three laptops, two in the living room where she sits and the other in the bedroom, are playing BDSM videos with the volume set on low.  Even so, she can hear the screams from the women as their sadistic masters use their bodies.  She shivers with fear but her lust betrays her as her cunt fills with juices.

Kym Is A Messy Canopener said...

Just for you, Count


Without thinking, she takes a sip of Master's whiskey sitting on the table next to her chair.  Her ears strain for the sound of a car in the parking lot or the click of the key lock.  Another half hour passes and her nervousness increases.  She wants to peek out the window, see him drive up, watch him retrieve the key card from under the mat, but he told her to sit quietly, hands clasped in her lap, legs clenched tightly together, head bowed demurely towards the floor until his arrival.



Suddenly a key card unlocks the door and he walks in.  She is unsure of how to greet him so she walks to him and extends her hand.  He clasps it and allows her to lead him inside.  "This will be the first and last time she is allowed to take the initiative or lead him." he decides. 



As he turns away from her, he commands her, "Put out the Do Not Disturb sign and lock the door."



She tries to turn around after latching the locks but he had advanced upon her, slamming her body into the door, smashing her tits against the hard wood.  Pulling her arm behind her back into a hammer lock he wraps his free hand tightly around her throat.  In a stern and demanding tone, one word is whispered menacingly into her ear. 



"STRIP."



Only a whisper escapes with his grip on her throat.  "Yes Sir."



He sits in the overstuffed chair sipping the glass of whiskey she prepared for him, watching her clothes drop to the floor piece by piece.



Naked, she faces him, bows her head, and quietly declares, "Master, do as you wish with me.  Make me your baby girl pain slut."  



No response from him.  He continues to sip his drink as she stands before him, head lowered, eyes downcast, hands clasped behind her back, legs spread wide.  Several more minutes pass and her anxiety increases.  "Did he hear me?  Why is he just sitting there?  I am horny as hell and need to be fucked.  He hasn't even kissed me."



He takes another sip, noticing the change in her breathing, her chest rising and falling at a rapid rate as her uneasiness mounts in the silence.  Threads of arousal leak from her cunt and glisten between her spread thighs.  He can see that she is struggling not to look at him and to stay in position.



Finally, he stands, gathers her clothes, and tosses them into a corner.  "You will not need clothes unless I want you to dress and then I will choose what you wear."  His voice is stern, commanding, like a dictator issuing orders to his minions.



Slowly, he circles her body, so close that she can feel his warm breath on her skin.  He pauses, takes another sip, and sets the glass down.



Grabbing her head between his large hands, he forces his thumbs into her mouth, pulling her lips wide to examine her teeth.  A few seconds later, he takes several fingers and shoves them to the back of her throat causing her to gag violently.  He turns his fingers back and forth, clenched tightly and then spread wide inside her mouth.



He moves his hands to her throat and clenches them tightly, his thumbs applying gentle even pressure against her windpipe.  He shakes his hands forward and backward, her head flopping back and forth as her face drains of color.



"I am your Daddy.  I am your Master.  I am your most sadistic nightmare." He explains even as he increases the pressure on her throat, and then spats on her face.

Kym Is A Messy Canopener said...

GODDAMN. I can't believe i just did that.

TalksTooMuch said...

David Beckham has a great smile

Kym Is A Messy Canopener said...

I just can't wait for the good, long, hard moderation I so richly deserve.

laura ramona said...

Ben looks... bad. I saw Blue Jasmine and coming from an EX big fan of Woody Allen, I spent my teenager years watching all his movies... Yes I was a nerd... well talking about Blue J I found it one oh his worst ever. I waited several months before its release and does not worth all the praise. sorry Cate.. Oscar or not is a crap movie

Kym Is A Messy Canopener said...

I feel awful for doing that. I am SO sorry.
Maybe this will help:


Sexual guilt or shame refers to a feeling of grave responsibility and deep remorse associated with participation in or even thoughts and fantasies about sexual activity.

Individuals who feel guilt related to sex or particular sexual activities generally believe that sex (or a specific sex act) is immoral, sinful or unclean.

The understanding of guilt associated with sexual activities began with the work of the psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud.

While many people, including many psychologists and psychiatrists, reject a Freudian approach, his ideas are of interest as a starting point for understanding sexual guilt. Freud maintained that libido, or the sexual instinct, is one of the core drives in human behavior and personality formation.

T. E. Cuz said...

that really doesnt look like britney at all. im not referring to the lighting or make up. the bridge of the nose looks different and the body doesnt look like hers.

it doesnt look like derrick barry either.

Slap-n-Tickle said...

I think that looks more like Billy Idol with Gwen Stefani!

Kym Is A Messy Canopener said...


Sexual guilt or shame refers to a feeling of grave responsibility and deep remorse associated with participation in or even thoughts and fantasies about sexual activity.

Individuals who feel guilt related to sex or particular sexual activities generally believe that sex (or a specific sex act) is immoral, sinful or unclean.

The understanding of guilt associated with sexual activities began with the work of the psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud.

While many people, including many psychologists and psychiatrists, reject a Freudian approach, his ideas are of interest as a starting point for understanding sexual guilt. Freud maintained that libido, or the sexual instinct, is one of the core drives in human behavior and personality formation.

Sexual Shame: Message From Birth
From birth, a child receives messages from its parents about what are and are not acceptable ways of expressing sexual desire, as well as messages about approved or disapproved attitudes toward sexual issues.

These social hindrances on the free and open expression of basic desires contribute to the formation of three distinct aspects of the human personality, according to Freud.

First, there is the id, a combination of the most primitive drives and the psychic energy needed to initiate actions designed to satisfy these desires, including the desire for sex.

Next, there is the ego, which refers to an executive function in the human mind that takes in information from the body's sense organs about the external world and directs the day-to-day fulfillment of sexual and other desires in socially acceptable and achievable ways.

Finally, there is the superego, consisting of the learned and internalized social standards of behavior received from parents and others, including an understanding of banned or punishable behaviors.

The superego is our conscience; it consists of internally held values about what is right and commendable, on the one hand, and what is wrong and condemnable on the other. Transgression of superego standards leads to guilt feelings as well as to a sense of remorse, anger directed at oneself, and a loss of self-esteem. These transgressions need not be actual behaviors, such as participation in banned sexual activities. They may occur in dreams or fantasies as well.

Harry Knuckles said...

The guy on the left of Stefani is wearing 2 different shoes, I think, and blue socks. Possible head injury. And Gwen was a little bit of a porker back then!

Affhole calls the paps and then glares at them for intruding.

Beckman looks like a goof.

BitterBlondin said...

That can NOT be Britney?!

Jeneral said...

That is NOT Britney! They must be using a look alike when she's not up to performing.

Ben is putting on weight. Wonder if he's boozing again.

Kym Is A Messy Canopener said...

I feel better now. THANK YOU, CDAN. Family for supporting me, staying by my side, and never giving up on me throughout this harrowing ordeal. xoxo

Count Jerkula said...

Mess Kym: Are you cutting and pasting or are you actually writing original stuff for me? All the stuff I write on here, I would love a tale that was actually written for me, about me. Yeah, I am vain and crave a good ego stroke.

Any broads who would like to give me a Valentine's Day present of a fantasy tale can find my email address in my profile.

Fugazi Enty gave some more good Count Bait today. I have never done an All Tag Team version of my lists, so here it goes.

#1: Menounous/other broad. Maria is phenomenal, the other broad is good looking. That would be a fun time.

#2: Rooney/Cate

#3: Brit/Gaga: alone, singular list, Brit would be #2, but Gaga brings her down.

canadachick said...

jesus these trolls.......anyone hear that Eva refused to be screened at airport saying she was pregnant ???? is there a Gosbaby in the works???

JSierra said...

What in the ever living fuck is going on with this blog.

I picture a day in the life of Eva Mendes as waking up, putting on polka dots and taupe colored heeled booties, hopping into a town car and drinking champagne as she is driven back and forth between the grocery store and the airport. Maybe vodka. Who knows.

Anna Belle said...

Dakota see one of her scissor sisters...

Leisa said...

looks like Billy Idol...agree.

I'd like to see David Beckham get invisiligns.

Sherry said...

WTF is Eva wearing?
Hell yeah Gwen was a porker!

Kym Is A Messy Canopener said...

Sorry Count, but i HAVE shared some amazeballs stories of sin with you in the past.... I'm remembering a tale of a young girl's introduction to the pain and pleasure of her beautiful back door... *sigh. I penned that one just for you. Xoxo

Count Jerkula said...

Finally read the story, Mess Kym. Ya lost me at the IV saline. I don't dig on needle play. I also view enemas as prep work, not part of a play session.

Michael H said...

He's signing a copy of "every breath you take," from the looks of it.

Amartel said...

Now we know the genesis of the bleach blond Stefani look!
(Cool pic.)

fontlover said...

WTF WITH THIS LAMEROTICA BULLSHIT? ARE YOU PARIS?!!! STOP USING KIM'S NAME!!!! #LAMEROTICA #WENTOUTWITHTHEDINOSAURS #VALTREX

Kym Is A Messy Canopener said...

I admit, i didn't read the whole thing. Count--just wanted to blow things up in here. :( I think I probably owe Enty and everyone else a big apology.

Count Jerkula said...

It is OK, Mess Kym. I'll just belt your thighs instead of your butt. Leave some sting on your tender meat, so you remember to read what you post.

teresa crane said...

Gwen has admitted that she had issues with food in the past - that is why she is so fastidious about her appearance now. That being said, she fucking rocks.

Britney looks amazing. YOU GO BRIT BRIT.

WTF KYM

Kym Is A Messy Canopener said...

I hope that is only the beginning, Count. I need LOTS of discipline. I think I'm going to get the trunk out tonight. My husband is going to think it's Christmas... MmmmHmmmm....

Kym Is A Messy Canopener said...

I'm sorry, teresa crane. I won't do it again.

Merlin D. Bear said...

Britney hasn't looked that engaged in years. No way that's her.

Where was Bruce Jenner?

NaughtyNurse said...

That looks NOTHING like Britney. Gaga looks nothing like herself anymore, anyway.

B. Profane said...

You know, one of my colleagues actually writes BDSM porn professionally. And when I say "professionally," that means she makes real coin at it. Has a well-recognized BDSM pen name.

Her stuff I would read. Your amateur-hour crap I wouldn't read at gunpoint, so kindly take it elsewhere.

aemish said...

What B. Profane said.

Count Jerkula said...

Profane: Does twitter stalking a chick and begging her to beat and peg you REALLY qualify as a friendship?

Anyway I hope this friend is better at writing BDSM than your SNL friends are at writing comedy skits.

canadachick said...

Seriously I have always loved this site and its commentors but lately the trolling has gotten to the point where I barely read comments #sad

LowKey said...

Don't let the trolls win, people!

headrot said...

i am so glad i was stupid stoned and exhausted when i read through the forums today.

wtfholyhell lmao count is getting all the attention these days.

i have a sharp object fetish, but jesus, needles are just frowny faces. too many bad connotations.

headrot said...

also: the problem with freud's theories on sexual guilt is that modern psychologists have disproven them. guilt is cultural, not universal.

sexual guilt doesnt exist unless you have been taught to feel guilty. which freud admits he was through his mother and the society he grew up within.

headrot said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Count Jerkula said...

@headrot: Miss Mess/Kympossible/canopener has a soft spot for me, because I am about the only person who enjoys/encourages the chaos she unleashes on the site.

mcmama said...

I am almost positive those are Britney and Gaga drag performers.

mcmama said...

http://metro.co.uk/2014/02/03/lady-gaga-poses-with-drag-queen-britney-spears-after-watching-the-singer-in-vegas-4288758/

I was half right... I thought Gaga was a man too, but that is really just her unfortunate looking face.

Sprink said...

@Harry, I'm pretty sure those are bowling shoes. I can sort of vouch that they were , erm, a thing back in the day.

Danielle Williams said...

Brittney looks like a drag queen! That is not Britbrit..noway.

headrot said...

@mcmama go go go! i suspected that much about britney. pretty sure thats a fairly famous britbrit drag queen that gets paraded out for a lot of logo and TLC type shows.

Count Jerkula said...

Ugh. If that "Britney" wasn't born with a vagina, then strike that entry off my list. I'm no fan of fake tits, so fake vagina is a definite no go.

rajahcat said...

Becks

what up with that tweet by Affleck re: watching Republican actors.........hope all Conservative/Republican moviegoers boycott your next project because they can't "suspend disbelief".......you ass

I like Rooney Mara.......she isn't a cookie cutter hollywood starlet. And she can act. Maybe she just isn't a smiley face person. So what.

lazyday603 said...

Rooney Mara doesn't have to smile. She's American Football royalty. She's special.

Being football royalty is kind of like being the Dairy Queen.