Monday, March 10, 2014

Lindsay Lohan Reality Show

You probably missed most of Lindsay Lohan's first episode of reality television because you couldn't find OWN. No worries. Here is quick recap and then I will expand on said recap. The reality isn't real and Lindsay Lohan is a spoiled, entitled diva that is waiting for karma to come in and kick her around.

Much of the first episode is spent following Lindsay looking for an apartment. She moans and groans and looks at ten apartments and when she finally finds one she likes she runs into a wall of needing renters liability insurance but she can't get that because she is Lindsay Lohan. Uh huh. Reality is that Oprah rented an apartment for Lindsay and is her landlord so that was a waste.

Lindsay was going to appear in a short film for a friend but when they wanted her to do some dialogue she backed out. When she couldn't find an apartment she had her staff move her from hotel room to another just so she could have a change of scenery. Remember, this is someone who is a talent less hack who has spent much of the past half decade in jail or rehab and escorting to make a living but she has a staff and thinks she is much better than she actually is. The whole self-entitled diva thing made me wish karma was real and just made me hate Lindsay more than I already did.

 

59 comments:

Meanie Rhysie, Enty #27 said...

Did she ever out on a gahddam bra?!?!

Meanie Rhysie, Enty #27 said...

Put*, gahddam it!!

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

So we have Bieber, Sheen, Nancy Grace, and Lohan posts. Proof that Enty hates us :(

Renoblondee said...

Lol @Meanie

Bacon Ranch said...

You'll find out karma is real the day you open the door to a pissed off accurate gossip blog waiting to 'talk' to you.

discoflux said...

No! She didn't! There wasn't a single bra worn the whole episode Meanie! lol

They did a preview of the upcoming season and there was a scene where she was braless in a white shirt and they had to blur her nips out.

auntliddy said...

Wait!!!!! SHE has a staff?????? How does she pay them? With monoply money? Or do they have to wait til shes finished blowing her latest john?

Meanie Rhysie, Enty #27 said...

It scares me that I just caught myself shaking my head...just like G'ma used to do. LOL

Harry Knuckles said...

It's interesting that Oprah is trying to pass off Lindsay's apartment hunting as being real. That sort of fakery is SOP in reality tv so no big surprise, but it doesn't speak well to Oprah's character. This Enty doesn't like Lindsay and I don't like Oprah. Fat ugly Oprah.

Steampunk Jazz said...

The staff" must pick up the money being thrown onto the dresser and then take their cut

hollywood dime said...

Getting an apartment in nyc is fucking rudiculous! They want everything including your first born child and two pints of blood. It traumatic. I have a great place there that I won't ever get rid of because it was just do much work to get. Her apartment hunting was probably the only truthful thing. Oprah probably is her landlord because Oprah is the only person on earth who doesn't need a consigner to get approved by a board in nyc. Im getting stressed just thinking about it.

Bacon Ranch said...

It probably doesn't help her cause that she's 40+ yrs too old for you, Harry.

I don't liok her because she's a fake kiss ass. This is a really telling experiment for her, to exploit Lindsay and her issues for ratings.

hollywood dime said...

@meanie
Nope. No bra for a whole damn hour.

Seven of Eleven said...

Seriously, @auntliddy, that was the first thing I thought - she has STAFF? My staff consists of a cat who sits on my keyboard, a dog who eats crab apples dropped from the neighbor's tree (and gifts me with the results), and Alfred - and I'm a nice person who has never been to jail or rehab. Life is unfair.

hollywood dime said...

And is it me or did Lindsay constantly look like she had just got of a bender the whole show or is that just how she looks now?

discoflux said...

@dime - And her make up! Most of the time it looked just as bad as the Great Courtroom Bronzer Tragedy of 2011.

Although she was wearing a lipstick that I really like on some of the interview parts. It looked awful on her, but it was a really pretty color.

discoflux said...

And she was popping white tic tacs the whole time which means she smells like wintergreen and ashtray all the time. *shudder*

hollywood dime said...

@ disco
That. Make. Up. Good goddamn! She looks like 45 year old house wife from Orange County. Just soooo much filler in her face. Lordy! Her mom is deluded as fuck and they must've gotten that poor assistant from central casting. No way she has an assistant.
And serious...why the hell was the hotel room so dam filthy??! Too many questions not enough answers.

rajahcat said...

she looks like that now

Vera said...

Feel so bad for her. She is a mess. Can't stay still for a minute. Give that girl some vodka before she dies.

WastedTime said...

Completely agree with those horrified that this ratchet ho has a staff. How can she afford it? I need tips so that I can hire a maid and personal chef.

Bacon Ranch said...

She's hedging her bets, next stop is Hoarders.

melissa said...

I can't believe people watched

MISCH said...

She's getting another million advance for a "BOOK" she will right a memoir I believe…
And then The Mean Girls's sequel (hope she ends on the cutting room floor)
How does the bitch keep doing it…?

AsileM said...

Blohan is a hoarder! I remember that Nicey chick did a special on her a few years ago! What a joke. She's a filthy pig who waits for someone else to pay for and clean out her pig sty! Is it me or does she resemble a Fraggle now? Maybe a Muppet?

AsileM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sherry said...

I can't believe any one watched this train wreck. Hang your heads in shame, every dang one o ya.

And staff indeed. What does this ho need a staff for? Great Courtroom Bronzer Tragedy of 2011 will forever go down as a winner though.

Sass71 said...

*gives a Sheldon Cooper look of haughty derision*

Harry Knuckles said...

Comment duly noted, Bacon. I'll take you off the "Friendly" list.

Seven of Eleven said...

There's a "Friendly" list? Is there a sign up sheet I didn't see?

Damn it, I always miss the good stuff. :/

LottaColada said...

I think I'm off of it @Seven. :(

CharRicho said...

How much do you have to hate yourself to take a job as a member of Lindsay Lohan's "staff"?

Jacq said...

Put a brawr on!
Copyright Jill Zarin

Navymommy said...

I train wreck watched it. It was boring as all get out. I did, however, develop a morbid fascination with her lips in profile. @Seven, I hate to disillusion you, but dogs have owners, cats have staff. I know this because I have eight little rescue movies and in a few hours will foster two more four year old sisters.

Navymommy said...

Sigh, not movies, moggies. I hate auto correct.

Seven of Eleven said...

@Navymommy

Derek Harvey said...

I watched it online (dont get the O network). It was entertaining for me cause I frequent this site often and have followed her trials and tribulations. Was is realistic? NO..Was it Scripted...dont think so. But I found it voyeuristic and trashy the way I like my tv~. I am most in shock over her hoarding of clothing---a whole warehouse for her clothes yet she walks outta the house in all those ugly outfits! lol

Leekalicious said...

@Derek I'm wondering what percentage of the outfits were liberated from homes of others / sets / borrowed not returned

Oopsy_Daisy said...

Hey, @Hollywood Dime, don't knock us OC housewives! Not all of us are orange. :P

discoflux said...

@navymommy - Mr. Disco and I have decided that "meow" means "slave" and it's the only thing they bother taking the time to say to us.

Dexamyl said...

I like LiLo, no clue why.

The show isn't the train wreck that Anna Nicole or Paula Abdul were, but much better than the Kuntrashians.

Susan said...

OMG. I feel like I need to watch this. I hate you people. I mean that in the most loving way.

I have to see her hoarder warehouse of clothes.

JoElla said...

@Susan, I feel the same way.

I'll load it up online and give it a go.

Anyone else find it funny that the Mighty Oprah has to resort to a LiLo reality show?

My cold black heart laughs when I think about that!

Nope said...

Yes.

Susan said...

JoElla - YES!! I hate Oprah with all of my soul. I am cackling my best cartoon villain cackle that she is resorting to a Lohan reality show. Bwahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Bitch did get me with her Favorite Things episodes when I was nursing and off from work. I cried like a hormonal lunatic.

Harry Knuckles said...

Seven, you're on my "Handle With Extreme Caution Because the Bitch Bites" list.

Lotta, you're on my "In Limbo" list and there you shall remain until I get the naked selfie that yoy are sending to everyone EXCEPT ME!!!

Seven of Eleven said...

I'm not sure if I should feel flattered or insulted....

Turkish Taffy said...

When you google "Watch Lindsay Lohan online" you have to plow through hundreds of sex tape links before the show finally appears.

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

Heh. Turkish said "plow."

Harry Knuckles said...

Flattered, Seven, flattered. You're smart and you're funny and you can dish it out when the need arises.

LottaColada said...

@Harry, who have you been talking to?!?!?

I keed. Only one went out and it was for ethorne's eyes only. =P

ethorne said...

And that it shall stay @Lotta ;)

Btw, what list am I on?

LowKey said...

How many lists do you have, Harry?

canadachick said...

maybe Blondie is looking for a roommate

Harry Knuckles said...

Lotta, let me have the pic too. Just let me have it.

ethorne, you're on my "Scary-Ass Bitches That Will Cut Me" list. ... duh

LowKey, the number fluctuates as posters come and go. Some days there can upwards of 1,000 or so lists. Right now I have you penciled in on "Seemingly Pleasant But Capable of Inflicting Great Pain Without Provocation".. I'm not prepared at this time to move you to "Friendly". Keep your nose clean and we'll see.

Krissie said...

I wish karma was real too, Enty. That would be amazing.

The only way karma could be real would be if you pay for your mistakes in your next life, which I don't think makes any sense.

LowKey said...

@Harry, I'll take it. ;)
Altho I only inflict great pain when provoked.
(I'm easily provoked)

Cee Kay said...

Oh, karma is real, Enty. It's very real. It just doesn't always show up like you think it will.

iknowpeople said...

@canadachick, I was scrolling down to add my own comment about Blondie. She hasn't been around since her identity was outed by someone via an article they found online.