Thursday, May 08, 2014

Your Turn

How often do you talk to your mother?

65 comments:

it took forever said...

every other week

Cleodacat said...

She lives with me, so every day.

fordellcastle said...

My Mom died January 2, 2014. It was the day after my birthday. I still talk to her all the time. I hope she can hear me.

Violet said...

Two or three times a week.

Merlin D. Bear said...

Mine passed - so no conversations.
Now if you were to ask how often do I catch myself emulating certain behaviors, I'd have to say daily.

Runswithscissors said...

Nearly everyday, but we text throughout the day... constantly.

VIPblonde said...

If it's not one thing, it's your mother!

Cake said...

Every other day, sometimes more, sometimes less

Laninna said...

She's dead, Jim.

MontanaMarriott said...

Multiple times a day even though she is no longer with us.

Renoblondee said...

Almost every day.

Murphy said...

Since she learned how to text--every day. Before that it was like every other day.

AndrewBW said...

Now that she's in a nursing home pretty much every day.

Ian's Girl said...

Multiple times daily, she lives next door. She's in her 70s now and I feel so blessed that I'm close enough to take care of her. (And I ain't gonna lie, it can get damned annoying)

Melissa of Grand Island said...

Everyday! I'm so blessed to have a good one. Hers was crap so she told me I never want you to go through what I went through. She was adopted, and told they got her so my Uncle would have someone to play with. Crazy!!! Grandma is still alive, and just past 100 years...I guess only the good die young!!

Gayeld said...

@Cleo. Ditto.

Especially since we occasionally barricade ourselves in her room to hide from the children.

Amy in MI said...

Haven't spoken to mine in over 2 years. My life is better because of it

Count Jerkula said...

Too often.

Dena said...

I envy you guys! Mine is a classic narcissist who has no interest in anyone but herself unless she has a way to control or manipulate. I refuse to be that for her now, so we talk maybe once every 3 months. She is coming to my place on Sunday, though, because I somehow turned out to be very nice ; )

Runswithscissors said...

Aaaand I just spoke to her, she is traveling in Mexico City and they just had a 6.8 earthquake.

MISCH said...

Everyday

hairydawg said...

MOTHERRRR!!

Stephanie23 said...

Everyday. Thankful she's a wonderful mother and lady

Snapdragon said...

Awwwkward. She died in June of 2008. Think of her daily though.

Sarah said...

My mom was a terrible parent but not a terrible grandparent so we text often about my kids, otherwise we probably wouldn't speak very often.

Nutty_Flavor said...

Once a week, via Skype. And we see each other a couple of times a year. We fought constantly when we lived together, but a long-distance relationship works great for us.

hkpavco said...

Daily. I am a single mom and my mom drives over to my house at 5:45 each morning to get my son ready for school, so I can go to work. Everyday she does that so he doesn't have to go to before or after school care. Makes me teary just to think about :)

Sherry said...

My mother wasn't a great mom either given the circumstances she had to deal with. I talk to her about once a month and I cannot stand to visit her. That's just a nightmare. Apparently I'm pretty self sufficient until I get home and then "I can't do anything right".

I did send her a mother's day card. Actually put them at the box to be picked up and the lazy ass mail person left them there..Oh wait, someone forgot the stamp. Ooops..

nurysp said...

every day, her crazy ass
Im an only child
oh dear lord ya have no idea how crazy she is
everyday at noone she feeds her dog chilled cucumbers followed by chicken soup

and before bed time one green pear

shes going to kill that damn dog

Countess Eden said...

About every day. I'm blessed with a great mom and dad.

Countess Eden said...

Sorry but I lol at your comment nurysp. I didn't know dogs could or would eat cucumbers and pears. Mine won't touch an edamame dropped from the table by the kids or a grape, apple, celery, carrot, etc...

teresa crane said...

Almost every day. I love my mama :).

Those of you that have lost your moms, big hugs!

PugsterMom said...

My condolences to those who have lost your mom and to those with crappyou moms.

I talk to mine 1 to 2 times a week. She lives across the country. She was a great single mom and I'm very grateful.

Sincerely,Your Friend said...

A few times a week. She's one of my fav peeps in tbe planet.

Jacq said...

It's been over 8 years, for me. And mine is better, too. There are times when it is difficult, but not as tough as dealing with her.

Mary Ann said...

My mother passed three days after Mother's Day in 1996. Before she died, we talked at least once a week. Now I "talk" to her probably two or three times a week. I miss her dreadfully.

Lurker Girl said...

it depends on whether or not she is passive/aggresivly punishing me for some "in her mind" slight. She could call me every other day or not speak to me for weeks if I am doing something other than what SHE feels is the right thing to be doing in the eyes of the Lord (yep, one of those). As a single parent I try every.single.day. to not raise my daughter like I was raised. I try to remain respectful, as she IS my mother, but that shit wears thin after a while. I'm 45 years old, doing it for myself and my girl, making it day by day...but it it's not her way, I'm not doing it right. I have a job I've been at for 15 years, own my house, have a new car, my girl has everything she needs, bills get paid and there is money in the bank...but I'm still not good enough in my mother's eyes

discoflux said...

I spend 8-10 hours with my mom every day. We work at the same company in the same department.

auntliddy said...

Every other day when she was alive. Now whenever i think of her.

hothotheat said...

10 years here. Some people are not cut out to be parents.

cece said...

Ditto. Interesting how they can be better grandparents than parents.

Its just U said...

Not as often as I should. The woman does my head in. I love her dearly, but I got a rough deal growing up and it's hard to get past some things.
Saying that though, we just spent the weekend together. That'll do for about a month or so.

#Gitit said...

14 years, because she's a cunt. I feel like I have some serious animosity toward my gender because of my birth vehicle and her mother. I'm much more at ease around men.

lucy said...

Nearly everyday. But that's because I moved out of state and we only see each other a few times a year. The daily phone calls help to stay connected. I'm due to give birth to her first grandchild in August though...I have a feeling I'll be seeing a lot more of her. Won't be surprised if she starts looking for apartments here soon.

Melissa of Grand Island said...

And, by the way, she was a good grandparent. Loved me and treated me well. I think Mom was glad she was nice to me, but hard for her to watch after how horribly she treated her. I believe not all people should be parents. If they are toxic, sometimes you have to walk away.

Cocoa said...

o/\o Lurker Girl!

You're awesome!

Elissa said...

I CALL my mother about 30 times a week, but because she keeps her cell phone in her purse I only TALK to her about 3-4 times a week. She normally comes over for dinner and late-night TV watching (my family doesn't sleep at night)about once every week or two, but hasn't been feeling well enough to do that for a while.

I feel for those above who are estranged from their mothers; my mother wasn't so great at it, either, and there have been long periods during which we didn't speak. It took a long time for me to realize that we do the best with what we have, and we accept that sometimes it's not enough. I get along with her much better now that I'm older, and I actually enjoy talking out middle-of-the-night phone calls that last for hours.

califblondy said...

My parents live next door. My Mum is hyper critical so I've got to be in the mood to feel inadequate. My Father is an angel so I suck it up and grab a beer and head next door a couple of times a week.

Happy Mothers' Day.

Paint Chips said...

I don't associate with criminals.

Cee Kay said...

It varies, but usually once a month or more. OMG I think I'd kill myself if I had to talk to her every day. We're adults with busy lives, and what the hell would you talk about every single day?

NaughtyNurse said...

Every day.

Elissa said...

@Cee Kay, my mother was forced to retire after a small stroke and a minor heart attack. She has worked since she was 16, and for the first time in her life she's not in a social setting with people to talk to or have lunch with. We talk about the same things she would have been talking to her friends and co-workers about on a daily basis.
Plus, my little brother committed suicide 6 months ago, she's lost 2 friends she used to work with, and my brother's mother-in-law, who she very much loved. She's grieving, she's been through a lot of life changes, and she needs to talk.
It doesn't matter what we talk about (though I could do without the weekly updates of Keeping Up With The Kardashians), just that we talk.

Jennmcn said...

Too much.

Alita said...

hkpavco,

That's awesome - let her know that some random person from the other side of the world is sending her good vibes. Excellent mothers and grandmothers need to be toasted!

Susan said...

What a great Your Turn. Well, I just spent the past hour crying my eyes out because my parents are selling our childhood home and moving to Florida. And my mom is having a yard sale tomorrow, and she just constantly talks about this and it's making me so upset. I just can't even wrap my head around it. I talk to my mom like every other day. She is awesome and exasperating and insane and fabulous all wrapped in one. She asks me for Facebook tutorials about the dumbest things. She misprounces EVERYTHING. She nags me about anything and everything under the sun: our home projects, my new shoes, potty training, my unclean windows, etc. I can't even imagine that her and my Pops are moving from Jersey. Who's going to drive me insane on the day to day? They are my rock in so many ways. They have to make the move due to financial reasons, and I am so upset and angry and sad. I feel like a selfish cow for having those feelings. I don't really say much about it because I don't want to be a royal pain in the ass. I mean I'm already annoying being the middle child and all. I just cry and cry. I feel like my sisters are so unphased by all of this. My poor husband. He's dealing with me dealing with this as well as planning my spring piano recital. I'm shocked that he doesn't divorce my pathetic ass. I just read my son his bedtime stories while bawling my eyes out. God, I suck. At least my husband opened up a good bottle of wine for me. Bless his soul. I just feel so sad that my son's grandparents aren't going to be here to see him grow up. I like that my mom just watched my son all day while I worked. Parents and grandparents are such a blessing. Sorry for this rambling post. I'm a mess.

Cocoa said...

Aw, Susan, I'm feeling sad on your behalf! I hope there are lots of trips to Florida in your future to see your parents in their new home. Maybe it'll be easier to see the positives when they get set up there and (hopefully) are happy. Good luck with spring piano recital!

Lisa said...

My mom passed away several years ago so I don't get to "talk" to her anymore. I still will talk to her and I hope that she hears me. I miss her each and every day. She wasn't just my mom but also my best friend.

sugarbread maker said...

I understand fully. Some get dealt short deck. No guilt this weekend ok?

sugarbread maker said...

Or they are so nice to everyone else's kids but nasty to theirs. Hmph.

sugarbread maker said...

^5 hang in there

Count Jerkula said...

Don't worry Susan. If they are like my buddy's parents, they will come visit for a month or more in the summer, so they don't have to run the AC 24/7.

KSierra said...

Pretty much everyday, although she's been gone almost 14 years now. Same with my Dad, gone 4+ years. It just blows when your parents are gone, expecially too soon, and you were close to them. AS a Mom, I have 4 kids, and I don't helicopter them, so besides the 1 who still lives at home, my other 3 are NOT being good children, because, I love them SO, and want to speak to them all, everyday! 3 boys, 1 daughter, she is much better than her brothers at it. IDK what I'll do if/when my youngest moves out one day....I understand why there are "cat ladies" now!! </3

Susan said...

Thank you!

Therese said...

Hang in there Susan. What a great read this morning. I think I identified with everyone. My mum hasn't passed, though, but I dread it. She is 87, and she drives me crazy, and yet she is precious to me. When we aren't mad at each other, we talk several times a day. I absolutely love all the comments. Sorry to everyone who has lost theirs, or didn't have a good one. I could really wax on, but I am exhausted. I am my mum's caregiver, and she let my diabetic sister move in with her, so I am pretty much the caregiver to both right now. My sister weighs about 80 pounds, won't see a doctor, has a substance abuse problem, and the APS, EMS and police can't do a thing if she won't let them help her, and she won't. One has to let the person drop before they can be taken. As of yesterday, I am about ready to bang her in the head and drag her off to the ER, and pray that she be taken to a rehab place (I'm talking about my sister). I told my mom yesterday that it was not fair that we were held hostage by my sister's illness/habit. I thought yesterday that she was in diabetic shock and we were about to loose her, and she came out of it during the evening, and I realized she had taken something during the day. I've kept my apartment, otherwise I'd be chasing cars down the street and biting people on the ass. Well, I did wax on, didn't I. Happy mother's day to all.

Susan said...

Therese, you sound like a strong person. I hope your sister gets better. Taking care of an elderly parent seems hella hard. My parents are going through that right now, too, so I see how hard it is. Good luck!