Sunday, July 06, 2014

Jessica Simpson Got Married

This story would have been a whole lot more exciting if Jessica Simpson had not gone through with the wedding or if she ended up marrying Eric's fill in best man who also doubles as a trainer. She marries him because he is more motivated. Meanwhile Eric marries some police woman who looks a lot like Mrs. Stiffler and Eric's brother marries a woman who works for MasterCard.

Anyway, Jessica and her boyfriend/baby daddy did get married yesterday. Their son Ace served as ring bearer and Maxwell was the flower girl and was joined by Ashlee Simpson's son Bronx who will probably have to do the same thing when his mom gets married again.

42 comments:

Violet said...

Well. Congratulations to them. Despite your insincerity Enty.

ItsCourtneyD said...

Well. Congrats to them.

OneEyeCharlie said...

Ace? Bronx? Boy, do my children ever have mundane names. I am so ashamed.

ItsCourtneyD said...

@violet I'm guessing Enty is bitter about not being invited.

ItsCourtneyD said...

@oneeyecharlie as well you should be! How dare you not name them Kumquat or Spade. Or something.

Violet said...

Lol. Or the fact that presumably you know they're quite happy together.

Sunshine said...


This calls for congratulations! (And probably champagne!)

derek harvey said...

Congratulations Jessica----I am sure you made a very beautiful bride. I hope you made him sign a prenup though cause he has a Dean McDermot vide to him~

ItsCourtneyD said...

@violey the horror at them being happy!!! How dare they?!?! Lol

Steampunk Jazz said...

Right Courtney? didn't he Want them to be special?

ItsCourtneyD said...

Hahahahaha! I was a little nervous clicking on that at first. How dare he not want them to be special. That's asinine.

Renoblondee said...

I'm glad they're happy together.

Steampunk Jazz said...

I guess that when an unwed mother marries, Enty loses his bacon.

ItsCourtneyD said...

So it's like when you hear a bell an angel gets it's wings but in reverse....bacon reminds me I'm hungry.

bellaluna said...

He has a thinner Dean face thing going on too, Derek. Or is that because I just got up?

MeanieRhysie said...

Gee, how about a simple "Mazel tov!", BitterEnty?

Congrats!

Mango said...

I wonder if her father embarrassed her by bringing a boy toy as his date.

jack ducky said...

Enty, you're an ass. Congrats to Jessica and her dude.

LottaColada said...

@Mango - I wonder if he was even invited

Its just U said...

That's lovely. It's always nice to see a happy family. Congratulations.

jane3113 said...

This ruins all of his Jessica blind items. That's why he is so upset.

Cecilia00 said...

Wow Enty, I think a few blinds about them splitting up or never going through with the wedding may have been ruined here. Better luck next time!

Sunny said...

@Mango
That is Joe's client!! Of course he went to the wedding

MISCH said...

So how long does he have to wait to get everything promised in the prenup…because thats exactly how long this marriage will last.
She should not have married this gold digger

Omar Little said...

Congrats to them. Why the snark, Enty?

Ray Nicolet said...

Congrats Jessica and groom!

Sarah said...

Now I want to see Radiohead again.
They put on the best live show.

TalksTooMuch said...

So for sure its NOT her on the blind yesterday!

sugarbread maker said...

Dino??

sugarbread maker said...

Yes it was in dm he was splashing around pool with his Client#9.

Unknown said...

She married a lazy loser, it's really sad. All he's going to do is cheat and take her for millions. She's not a genius but she is a nice person and it's so sad everyone around her is such a crazy loser.

Rob Horine said...

I give it a year before Eric's cheating causes Jess to divorce.

bellaluna said...

Let us never forget little Kal-el Cage and Pilot Inspektor.

astra worthington said...

This is not gonna last, he's a gold digger and a cheater so let's take bets! I give them 5 years max, but if everyone wants to pretend and wish them well, OK then!

astra worthington said...

Don't forget Audio Science and Jermajesty. Or Rob Morrow's kid, Tu. Or Bear Blu. Wow we could probably do this all day. Poor kids.

parissucksliterally said...

She always looks so uncomfortable. Sucking in her gut, wearing clothes that do nothing for her figure....yet people buy her clothes. I will never understand.

8=====D aka Lil Tool. KermitGosnellKnobJockey said...

astra worthington said...
This is not gonna last, he's a gold digger and a cheater so let's take bets! I give them 5 years max, but if everyone wants to pretend and wish them well, OK then!



Hollyweird marriages are measured in dog years, 5 of their years are like 35 years for the rest of the world. That's a huge amount of time.

MISCH said...

It all depends on how long he has to say to collect the prenup…he'll probably try to get her pregnant again, that should raise his take…

FearN said...

Well, she's a crappy dresser but I actually really like her stuff! I bet she has designers on staff and she probably tweaks their designs.

Studio54 said...

She dumps the wonderful Nick Lachey, and marries this lug.

MISCH said...

She doesn't do the designing…she probably has a meeting or two but she's the face not the talent…

fancyscreenname said...

he's cute