Friday, February 01, 2008

Ted C Blind Item

Über-Cool Unzipped is a feted filmmaker, romancer and Hollywood figure whose film finesse, more often than not, figures out how to please the critics and crowds alike—not to mention the college set. Way to score every demographic, dude! Now, don’t you know, just to keep it cute ‘n’ collegiatelike, Über likes to spend the successful movie weekends of his trademark flicks (not to mention other, less celebratory windows of horny opportunity) not by sipping a champagne flute with the Hollywood elite, but by throwing back a plethora of red plastic cups at a mostly frosh beer bash or three.

This is how our guy unwinds when off set. Although, for the tautly toned and well-bosomed record, Ü.C. always seems to surround himself with a like-minded staff. Appropriately, Mr. Ü knows his way around one California campus in particular—he’s been patrolling the hallways there for quite some time. Jeez, who needs H-town patting you on the back when you can pat the backs of two 18-year-old students in a ménage à trois? And myriad other such barely legal, delicious, salacious delights!

In fact, Unzipped’s so supersuave (and still rather semistudly) no one seems to mind his taste in ingenue gentlemen.

37 comments:

Twisted Sister said...

Having no clue and not seeing anyone guessing, I took a look at the eonline message boards to see what they think. They're saying it's Bryan Singer.

svd said...

How about Wes Anderson? Just a thought.

Rebecca said...

I have no clue. I kinda thought of that Apatow guy... knocked-up. But I have no idea how he looks.

Kate said...

I figured Wes Anderson. He's popular with the college set.

captivagrl said...

a closet coen?

melcon80 said...

Wes Anderson makes sense. I think some would consider him semistudly. Does anybody know what the "and it ain't"s are?

dutch said...

j.j. abrams. I think when he calls him U.C. that a hint. He just had a huge opening weekend with cloverfield, and felicity was popular with the college set.

Robert said...

I actually thought it was Todd Phillips of Old School fame, but the people on the E message boards seem pretty convinced it's Singer.

ms_wonderland said...

Mel, the ain'ts are Mel Gibson, Zack Braff and Sean Penn. All actors turned directors. On that basis, could be Leiv Schreiber, but I've not heard any gay rumours there.

jax said...

seth rogen hello?
filmaker as well as actor.
his movies are very college freindly as is he and the critics love him.

Rebecca said...

I hope it's not Seth Rogen. I really like him.

Rebecca said...

Jason Friedberg. Meet the Spartans, Epic Movie.

ms_wonderland said...

Is Seth Rogen supersuave and semistudly? No, though he could go to a campus party without anyone noticing.

dutch said...

I went to college with liev. He was 110% straight.

Kristen S. said...

Will Ferrell is an humongo USC fan, and has done some Funny or Die stuff there.

His movie are also critical as well as box offices successes.

Perez Hilton said...

James Cameron

captivagrl said...

m. night shamalan?

debra said...

Quentin Tarantino?
He's popular with the college kids, and def seems like there's a freak in him.

Nicole said...

@ jax

I totally thought Seth Rogan also.

Hannah said...

judd apatow!

tracee said...

Ooh! love the Wes Anderson guess. He looks like he would straddle the fence.

blog boy said...

I think it is Wes because Ted mentions H-town which could be a reference to Houston, Texas, where he grew up

Fabiola Thing said...

Danny Devito

Carla said...

Seems like we're overlooking the clues "for the tautly toned and well-bosomed record" and "semistudly." Wes and Seth don't match up there. I thought Singer's like of young healthy men was well known. "Feted filmmaker, romancer .... " which directors are actually known for their player ways?

meat said...

weren't there pictures of hugh grant at some sorority party not too long ago? just throwin' it out there, he was the first person i thought of just because of those pictures.

shiny_special_one said...

It's Bryan Singer. I wouldn't have thought of him right off the bat because he hasn't had any major movie releases lately, and I tend to think of people who've been "around" recently promoting something first when I'm trying to guess.

But Bryan Singer fits. He graduated from USC cinema school in 1989 but according to people who have attended that school since then, he comes back there all the time. Not only for guest lecturing and stuff like that but for social events too. He maintains friendships with some of the faculty and has been known to befriend students. He's also not bad-looking and is openly gay, hence the taste for "ingenue gentlemen."

Regardless, I don't think it's Seth Rogan. No offense to Rogen fans, but the clue does imply that the guy is "toned and taut."

jax said...

taughtly toned & well bosomed? that's not describing a man..
also the bling doesnt say anyhting about being married.
who knows.

ladyerroneous said...

Why are ALL of Ted's vices about closeted people?! Seriously! ALL OF THEM. Who CARES?

Josephine said...

I have to agree with the Bryan Singer guess. I found this celebrity sighting over at Defamer from October 2006 that stated:

"Bryan Singer with a cadre of barely legal looking, skinny, baggy pants and t-shirted boys at Hugos in West Hollywood. I swear to God, there were a couple of them who didn't look a DAY over 15. It didn't make sense; as far as I know it IS a school day."

Link to entire article

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Brett Ratner? NOT!

Joy said...

Definitely not Wes Anderson... he likes the willowy girlie type, and lives in Paris now.

I'd either go with Seth Rogan (and that would be a huge surprise, as I'd heard he's super-devoted to his non-actor girlfriend) or Bryan Singer (but he's not an ex-actor who's become a filmmaker).

I like this BI!

Eddie said...

I'm gonna call and audible and say Kevin Smith. Actor/director who looks like he's had a few beers in his day.

ally said...

My first guess was Kevin Smith, but he is rather expansive and does not portray himself as studly or cool.

Feebes said...

OMG who fucking cares? How can you decifer anything this guy says anyway? If he gave out special decoder rings it would be okay but talk about a funsucker. How do we even begin to know what the hell he's talking about?

cricket said...

Vince Vaughn?

Brandy said...

I agree Feebes, His blind items get on my nerves all that extra crap he puts in there...To the person who says who cares about closted ppl..I do I live for those kind of BI .

RandomRamblings said...

Brett Ratner.