Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Jessica Simpson From The Other Side


Every time I post something negative about Jessica Simpson I get a flood of e-mails all saying that she is the most wonderful person on earth, and going on and on and on. I am not really a conspiracy guy, but most of the e-mails always highlight the same two or three things like they are part of a form letter. Anyway, to make Pimpa Joe and his e-mailing minions happy, I thought I would write a post from the treat Jessica like a saint side about her publicity job date she had last night with that quarterback dude, and see how it sounds. The post uses actual quotes from real people, but the rest is real kneepad stuff. Hang on a second. Kneepads are a little tough to get on. I really can't even see my knees. Okay. Got it . Here we go. Wow. They hurt.

Last night Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo showed the world they are still together. It was a party of ten for the world famous singer and her quarterback stud as they dined at Il Sole out in West Hollywood. It may have been a party of ten, but the eyes of the restaurant were focused on only one couple.

"Throughout the entire meal, Jessica and Tony kept touching and kissing and seemed oblivious to the entire world. " said one source. Another witness to this hottest couple since Romeo & Juliet said “Jessica had no makeup on and her hair was thrown to the side in a bun. She seemed very comfortable and laid back with Tony and not at all worried about looking good or impressing him.”

At one point, Simpson, known most for her number one albums and dedication to the people at Operation Smile, was chatting with her well paid and loved assistant Cacee Cobb when Tony, in a gesture straight from the movies, "put his finger under her chin and turned her face towards him and gave her a long kiss while holding her face in his palm,” a witness says.

At that point the crows at the restaurant broke into a round of applause. Diners were crying at the sight of such passion and romance between a couple. Several diners, caught up in the emotion, proposed marriage to the people they were with.

Simpson had pasta with extra Parmesan cheese and drank Veuve Clicquot; Romo sipped on red wine but barely touched his food as he couldn't stop staring at Jessica. “They ate off each other’s plates!” said one onlooker. "At one point, Jessica started feeding Tony because he just could not stop looking at Jessica." continued the source.

“Jess and Tony were whispering in each others ears and having private conversations,” the witness adds. “A few times it looked like Jessica had to fill Tony in on the inside jokes between her old friends. She would tell him a story and then rest her head on his shoulder.”

Afterward, they hit up the Metal Skool karaoke night at the Key Club in Los Angeles, where Romo serenaded Simpson. "He was singing directly to her — and she was on cloud nine," a witness said.

This is the way love should be.

43 comments:

Anonymous said...

OK the spontaneous proposals comment made me LOL.

D said...

I fee dirty. I miss Ent. And when is this girl gonna accept her fate and come out?

jax said...

the hottest couple since the two that killed themselves as teens.

that's hawt.

Anonymous said...

ENT Lawyer posted this lol didn't know lawyers were into posting gossip. Very funny LOL

Can't stand Ms. BimBo.

YahMoBThere said...

"Simpson had pasta with extra Parmesan cheese and drank Veuve Clicquot"



Reads like a press release for the restaurant.

Honestly, this sounds like some lovestruck high school fan wrote this. I'm embarrassed for this person.

Dick Insideu said...

How about recapping the hot, kinky sex after the date?

Nicole said...

I think I may vomit after reading this.

Production Girl said...

ah. well. OK then..........

merrick said...

this is hysterial .. i read on tmz that they were chanting "pussy" to romo when he wouldnt get up and sing at the club .. i love the visual .. and I honest find it hard to believe that she was out without makeup and a bun on the side of her head .. who does she think she is carrie fisher?

Lana M. said...

*gag*

WTF said...

throwing up now...

Anonymous said...

Donna - I saw the video at TMZ. Had to lower the volume since I am at work LOL.

Like always Ms. Bimbo looks at the guy with this stupid look. Can't describe the look but it looks stupid LOL

Anonymous said...

Donna - I saw the video at TMZ. Had to lower the volume since I am at work LOL.

Like always Ms. Bimbo looks at the guy with this stupid look. Can't describe the look but it looks stupid LOL

Lillian said...

umm Ent, please please do us all a huge favor and take off the kneepads. Not your best look.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Vom.

I want to know if Donald Faison was there with Cacee.

Tigercat said...

Get up off your knees Ent!

But use caution as reading of this post does induce the gag reflex and I'm guessing you're not the type who's into hurlin' showers.

Stacy said...

So publicists double as fiction writers now? Scabs!

Dijea said...

nicole, I'm with you.

Barf.......Hurl.......blowing chunks.

Dijea said...

nicole, I'm with you.

Barf.......Hurl.......blowing chunks.

noel said...

Oh Shit... I just choked on my coffee!!

Otherwise very funny... but not as funny as your post on Paris being the rep for Ford!!

Heard anymore from Gift?

mandythegreat said...

Who the hell wears a bun on the side of their head?

Anonymous said...

I'm with anne and carla, Ent. There are better uses for kneepads than servicing Pimpa Joe.

mandy - only person I know who wears buns on the side of her head is Princess Leia. :)

lutefisk said...

maybe she accidentally stuck a begel behind her ear--she's not too bright!

lutefisk said...

oops-- I meant to say bagel!

Poey said...

Hilarious!

Unknown said...

Did anyone see the "Dirt" episode about the sleazy father with two daughters who pimped them out even though he knew they were underage, and then turned his "outrage" at the unsuspecting publisher into getting magazine covers for his daughters? That was so clearly based on Joe Simpson, and his two cash whores, Jessica and Ashlee.

Unknown said...

Jess's 15 minutes are about to run out.
NEXT!

mooshki said...

I hate our black-and-white world where you're only allowed to blindly love or hate someone. That's part of why I like you Ent - unlike many other blogs you can say nice things about Longoria when it's appropriate, and you can see when Jamie Lynn's dress isn't quite doing it. Jessica isn't that great, and she isn't that bad, she's just kinda pathetic.

crichmond1000@yahoo.com said...

Maybe she stuck a beagle behind her ear.

kaitlin said...

les suckno, you're hilarious.

Ellen said...

I can't believe what a laughing stock Tony Romo has become. WTF is wrong with this him?

If this isn't a sham, this is the worst case of pussy whipping I've EVER seen.

Go back to your lover T.O., at least you had respect (and a few wins).

Ugh!!!

Majik said...

Methinks there's enough sweet drivel here to send all of us into diabetic comas.

Carte Blanche said...

My lunch started to come up when I read that shit. Not only that, my eyes started to burn from all of the bullshit leaping off my laptop screen.

Ugh!!!

Unknown said...

Wow. What a pile of crap. People proposed to their dinner dates because of JS & TR's disgusting (and highly rehearsed) display?

Retarded.

Dead Angel said...

Who cares, JS is a no talent - when all the reality tv stuff was over so was her career. Other than a few blogs who babble about her, she's dead in the entertainment industry.

liveunderarock said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CT-Hilltopper said...

I believe if someone had bothered to look, in teeny tiny little letters after that post, youd see, "written by Pimpa Joe Simpson".

I'm scouring this with my magnifying glass now. It has "Pimpa" written all over it.

bionic bunny! said...

oh, gag me with a fork.

spontaneous applause and marriage proposals.

yeah. uh-huh.

wineaux said...

that was classic! i think i peed a little...thanks for brightening my day

J said...

Oh I hope I don't spit up!

MeganGMcD said...

T.O. is gonna be PISSED!

Anonymous said...

WTH is this crap? Did you steal an unpublished 'article' from Kneepad Weekly?

Awww, Jessica's stupid, let's feel sorry for her. Um, no. Her career, marriage, and god only knows what else is in the crapper because of her and her 'daddy'. Let her suffer for it.

Lulu said...

I believe it's called satire...

and yes, it was funny!!!

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