Friday, April 18, 2008

A Birthday Letter To Suri

Dear Suri,

Allegedly you are two today. I hope you are, and that you are having a great birthday. You probably won't remember your birthday, because hey, you're two. Hopefully you got to sleep in a little, spent an hour or two on the E-meter and then they said you could have the rest of the day off.

I saw your mom was out shopping yesterday, or at least had a bunch of movies. One looked to be Mary Poppins. I think you will enjoy it. Everyone, and when I say everyone, I mean bloggers, and honestly we don't really matter. But in our own heads we matter, and so we like to speculate. A little thing called gossip. Lots of gossip about your family. Anyway, everyone said the movies were part of your birthday gift.

I know that everyone has said your birthday is today, but I'm wondering if maybe it wasn't a few months ago, and no one told you. It's not like you can stand up, and say, "hey, I was born in January" or something like that. If you did, some embarrassing questions might be asked.

You are growing up so fast. Well, I guess you are. No one has seen you in a few months. Already doing ethics checks huh? Well two year old girls have lots inside that you are probably trying to hide. You probably are closing in on like 3 feet now. Another six or seven inches and you will be right there with dad. I know he probably doesn't like you calling him dad. More likely he has you call him sir, or Academy Award Nominee, or Grand Poobah.

All kidding aside, I really do hope you have a great birthday. I hope that you laugh and giggle and smile all day. Open lots of presents and break them all in two minutes. Get cake on your face, and just have fun. Stay close to mom and you will be ok.



duncanpowers said...

...and if by chance you see an open, ground level window, run, little child, run like the wind. Your internet aunties and uncles will protect you.

Maxi Mouse said...

Happy Birthday, Suri



Susannah Leigh said...

Birthday? I doubt it, unless it's a half birthday. That baby has looked two for what seems like nearly a year.

Psychos are Nuts said...

Happy Birthday Suri. God bless you.
I would hate for you to be posting here in 12 years time:

I would not like for you to even have/know a friend who posts here in a few years time.

I know Mom and Dad believe you are an adult in a small body, but really you are a child. A precious child, just like all the precious children who have told their stories and lost a the magical innocence of childhood way too soon.

I trust a miracle will happen in your life and you will be allowed a childhood.

~crazy peanut~ said...

Suri is a cutie.

I hope that she has a fun filled, Xenu free day.

~crazy peanut~ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
IndigoBiatch said...

Happy Birthday Suri!

I hope you genuinely enjoy all of the birthdays that you have before memory kicks in, and you have to deal with all the memories of that stone cold crazy father of yours. Maybe before he has a chance to destroy your life he'll "just happen" to walk into the path of a NYC bus. Stuff happens every day.

jax said...

Happy 2.5 Birthday Suri!

Hope your birthday is all it should be for a 2.5 year old little girl!

Much love and kisses from an SP,

Sylvia said...


Sylvia said...

Suri is a cutie I just hope she grows up to be a normal kid and not like her idiot gay father LOL.

ykkstuck said...

I feel so bad for this child. They are probably keeping her in hiding because you can now buy over the counter DNA testing kits or like EL says she's taller than Tommy said...

"You probably are closing in on like 3 feet now. Another six or seven inches and you will be right there with dad."

I love you, ENT

adrian said...

I hope her real father spills the beans.

acetomato777 said...

Mercy! She's so very cute =)

Sexecution said...

I feel so sorry for all of the kids brought up in the CO$ and it's peculiar lifestyle. You will be the future queen of a cult and all the strange things that life will bring.

Your mother will leave you, because she sold you at birth.