Friday, April 18, 2008

Ted C. Blind Item

Dangling Wrangler’s at it again. You know Dangle-babe: He’s the base-boy the whole world seems to love no matter how many episodes he efs up, (via himself, the law or the ladies). Indeed, the Dangle dude’s been in trouble myriad times with too many drugs, too many women who were married to other men or by just being a plain ol’ mean, drunk bastard.

Therefore, the publicist’s quick fix was required (rehab and several staged photo shoots with Dangling looking brow-furrowed and fine with fans and such). Worked for a bit. But, then—as usually happens when one cleans up for a press release instead of for a personal mission—Dangling’s not only back to the booze and slut races, he’s hitting the hard drugs more than ever. Looks like crap, too. But the gals don’t seem to mind—they actually like screwing a famous guy who’s good (for about five minutes these days) with his huge, never-washed zucchini.

Alas, even the quickie quickies don’t do it for D.W. any more. Could that be why he’s getting so bored with dumpee broad after dumpee babe that he’s now secretly courting his latest unluckiest girlfriend’s (very underage) daughter?

Why the hell don't people like this ever get caught? No, in Hollywood, they get Oscars, don’t they?

57 comments:

kris_r said...

I'm starting to get a headache...

Ice Angel said...

And it Aint's:
Robert Downey Jr.
Jack Nicholson
Christian Slater

duncanpowers said...

Kiefer?

Ice Angel said...

Oscar winner right?

Robin Williams maybe?

Ice Angel said...

Keifer's never been to rehab that I know of...and not really an a-hole.

Ice Angel said...

How about Mel Gibson???

donna said...

I thought colin farrel .. but he never won an oscar did he?

donna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DNfromMN said...

Whew, thanks for the aint's. I thought it might be RDJ. I really want him to stay sober.

nikki said...

benecio del torrio got an oscar...jquain phoneix got an oscar

Ice Angel said...

Has Colin Farrel ever won or nominated for an Oscar?

PeepStone said...

Nikki,

Phoenix was nominated (twice BSA - Gladiator and BA - Walk the Line) but never won an Oscar.

dancersmom said...

I'm thinking Mel Gibson. Old enought to have that ick factor for dating someone's daughter, Oscar winner, re-hab, lots of other troubles. However do we know if he is hung like a zuccini?

mngddess said...

Joaquin Phoenix does not have an Oscar - he was nominated, though. And it doesn't necessarily say the person has an Oscar or was nominated.

I was thinking Colin Farrell..

Alpine Summer said...

I know it's slightly off topic, but he IS an "and it ain't" . . .

I saw an episode of Futurama last night that had a scene at the Oscars. Joan Rivers' head announced, at one point, "And there's Jack Nicholson's DNA reconstituted in a gorilla!" In walks a gorilla that looks quite like old Jacky, with two young women on his arms. Genius.

dancersmom said...

And he is on Sociallite Life getting texting and driving. He looks pretty crappy!

sheetrock said...

Could it be Matt McConaughey? He has a movie coming out called "Surfer Dude" and that could be the Dude reference. Just a thought.

dancersmom said...

And he is on A Socialite's Life getting busted texting and driving. He looks pretty crappy!

Stephe96 said...

Sean Penn?

sheetrock said...

Back to Matt McConaughey, he played David Wooderson in the movie Dazed and Confused. That is the D.W.

Eddie said...

Adrien Brody

canadachick said...

i have 2 theories :
1) robin williams - oscar winner, beat out by RD Jr for role in Chaplin, beat Jack for the Oscar and voiced a movie with christain slater

or

2) Nick Nolte - lots of drug issues, starring with RD JR in Tropic Thunder but not sure of connections to the others.

duncanpowers said...

Kiefer has actually been to court-ordered rehab quite a few times. I don't even know how many DUIs he's had. It's just that between seasons, he drops off the radar so what he does isn't reported widely.

And while I do love my Kief, I can't even tell you the number of stories I've heard about him getting into drunken brawls and getting thrown out onto the street. And, after every stint in rehab, jail, whatever, he suddenly looks fab and amazing and pictures of him are everywhere, smiling and charming.

On the other hand, it probably is more like an Oscar contender, gien the last line of the BI.

Still, I just thought I'd toss that out there.

unicorn jones said...

I would go w/ nick nolte

def not mel gibson -- personal connection and while he might be a mean anti-semitic drunk, he's definitely not after underage girls, nor does he have a girlfriend (strictly catholic, would not cheat on wife)


-uj

unicorn jones said...

OR gary busey

he's in the news today for being crazy etc


uj

dancersmom said...

duncanpowers, as you said Keifer always looks good, Ted C says this guy is looking like crap. This lifestyle is taking it's toll. I still believe Oscar winner too.

link88 said...

Lots of good guesses I hadn't thought of. Kiefer, Colin, and Joquin (sp?) fit except for the Oscar thing, if Ted C. means that he won an Oscar. The problem with Matthew McC., in my reading, is he is too clean-living overall and he's with his pregnant model girlfriend who doesn't have a daughter period, let alone near the underage range for him to exploit.

Mel Gibson is not universally loved - in fact, it's the opposite. This guy sounds like he just keeps getting passes for his bad behavior and the public still loves him.

Who is lovable, attractive, single, yet has whispers of bad behavior, rudeness, arrests and drug use, looks hard AND won an Oscar?

By the way, can we all agree that Ted C. is hard to read and not repeatedly comment on that like happens every time Ent posts these?

fuddhist_ said...

Billy Bob Thornton??

Brenda22 said...

My first thought was Kiefer. It says "no matter how many episodes he effs up"...makes me think his behavior messed up some episodes of a TV show...like 24.
Also the name "Wrangler"...as in Cowboy...as in SOUTHerland.

Khemenu said...

There was a blind item from Ent awhile back about an actor who brought his teenage date to a premiere but also brought his teenaged daughter so people would think his date was just a friend of his daughter's. I thought it was Kiefer.

Mooshki said...

I don't think Kiefer has ever effed up an episode. I've heard that no matter what he gets up to in his personal life, he is a complete professional on the set.

RagDoll said...

What the heck does "base-boy" mean? Was he in a baseball movie? I would say Charlie Sheen, but he's got no ex w/ teen kids...I think Keifer sounds about right...

sheetrock said...

I'm still sticking with Matt McConaughey. He drove a Jeep Wrangler in the move "Sahara" and the "Oscar" hollywood "gave" him was Penelope Cruz. Just because his model girlfriend is pregnant doesn't mean he couldn't have another girlfriend we don't know of.

sheetrock said...

The "base boy" comment if referencing a baseball movie could be McConaughey as he was in "Angels in the Outfield".

eileen said...

jason patrick

shoe addict said...

I thinks its keifer. in addition to the reasons stated by brenda 22there was a blind item a while back that there was an actor who was doing so much blow his face looked drastically different from scene to scene. the guess was keifer. also keifer was dating anna wintour and she definitely has a teenage daughter

Sara said...

I beleive the Oscar comment is referring to Roman Polanski...got an Oscar but couldn't be in the US to accept it because he would have been arrested for statutory rape.

jax said...

i don't think its Colin, since his son was born with development issues he's quit his bad boy partying skanky ways.
oh and he doens't have a big zucchini.

sheetrock said...

O.k., if it IS Keifer then the base-boy could be a reference to Lost-Boy as in the movie The Lost Boys and the Dangling could refer to him dangling upside down as a vampire in same movie. The Wrangler reference could be to "The Cowboy Way" movie.

sheetrock said...

Just read where Keifer traveled with the rodeo circuit in the late 1990's. There's the Wrangler reference for sure.

jax said...

you're forgetting Young Guns

Ice Angel said...

Couldn't base-boy refer to free-base, as in smoking crack?

Also-I'm rethinking the Oscar thing. Is it possible that it is simply a reference to the way Hollywood treats perverts-like Roman Polanski-who they gave a lifetime acheivement award to or something...

If this is Kiefer, I'm going to be really mad. I've always thought he was a big pussycat. I hope this isn't him, because he has a young daughter and how would he feel? Or maybe he was the blind!

Ice Angel said...

Ugh-Kiefer's first film role was a movie called The Bat Boy!

ykkstuck said...

how about Kevin Costner?

ykkstuck said...

oh nevermind I guess he's married

Spring Luvr said...

For my first post, I will offer this: "good for about five minutes these days" indicates to me that it isn't one of the younger guys like Owen or Matt Mc.

This is going to be a middle aged guy.

Ice Angel said...

Sorry...my bad..first movie was Bay Boy...never mind...

But this is looking very much like KS. Everyone really wants to love him, like I do, and really want to keep giving him passes, i.e., DUI's. I really hope he isn't flushing his life down the toilet and his father can shake some sense into him.

lumps of limbo said...

Okay, could it be possible that this person isn't an actor/Oscar winner? I know it's a longshot, but this was screaming Pete Doherty to me:

- base-boy (free basing as previously mentioned)
- loved no matter how much he efs up, in troule with the law and the ladies
- went to rehab
- looks like crap but still gets the ladies (Doherty dates models!) even with his dirty nasty cock
- can definitely see him lasting five minutes tops
- and can see him getting with young young girls

And that's my two cents.

RagDoll said...

....or maybe he's only "good for about 5 minutes these days" because the drugs are taking their toll?

The Owen Wilson guess made me wonder, but Owen Wilson was only nominated for an Oscar, and he's not looking any worse (than usual) lately.

Harriet Hellfire said...

I think it's Ben Affleck. I don't know why.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

LMFAO at the Pete Doherty guess.

And I'm LMFAO in a good way, not in a making-fun-of-you way, Lumps of Limbo.

If they gave out Oscar nominations for crack consumption, ol' Pete would definitely win, with some serious competition from Amy Whorehouse.

Majik said...

Al Pacino.

MadLyb said...

I have to say Kiefer. He hasn't won an Oscar yet, but the reference Ted C. made is to a movie his father was in (They Shoot Horses, Don't They?).

Judi said...

Majik, Pacino was my first thought as well (esp w/ the zucchini reference) but how has he eff'ed up? Has he been in trouble with the law and been to rehab?

Ed said...

Leo DiCaprio? Daniel Day Lewis?

califblondy said...

Keifer was the first to come to my mind when I read this.

Craig said...

This is so obviously Mel Gibson...Oscar winner, alcoholic, drug abuser, chronic adulterer...