For those of you who are in Canada, or those of you who read Lainey, then this will all be a refresher probably, so feel free to go ahead and look at some FFF, or contemplate what life would be like as we know it on this planet if Holly Madison and Verne Troyer hooked up. OK now that you have that to play around with and your brain is sufficiently horrified, lets move on to Dean. This would be Dean Spelling. Oh, I know he has his own last name, but lets face it, no one knows him except as Tori's wife, and no one will ever know him as anything but Tori's wife.
I did end up watching five or six episodes of the show this past season. It was fairly annoying, but hell, I mean there are not many reality shows that are not a little annoying. I will say that if that whole “maverick” drinking game doesn't work out for you, that you could play using the word “mama” when you watch that show.
Anyway, I was having a lovely discussion the other day with my lovely best friend, and when I wasn't trying to get a little look see or eating something, she informed me about Dean's ex wife. Now, I knew Dean had been with someone previously because he has a son, and so it figures that unless there is some kind of Xenu magic going on, that he had been with someone. What I didn't know, because I didn't look is that Dean also has an adopted daughter. I know, I know. If you are like me and only watch the show, you would have no idea he had anything other than a son who he misses and loves and hasn't seen in a year and blah, blah. The Tori says he is the greatest dad ever and we go throw up dinner.
Well, it turns out that Dean and the ex had adopted a baby girl about three weeks before he split up to go be with Tori. That's right, but he refuses to acknowledge the girl as his own despite that fact that he signed the adoption papers. Apparently he must think that the only way it counts is if you have sex. Well, asshole it doesn't. Just because you are not sticking it in does not mean it is not the same commitment and responsibility. Maybe Tori believes your little half truths but the rest of the world doesn't. A kid is a kid is a kid, and that girl is yours. Well, it has been a couple of years now so she probably doesn't want anything to do with you anyway, but think about that little girl growing up and seeing her brother getting all this fake love from dad while she gets nothing but a shoulder. WTF is that? Everyone knows the only reason you are with Tori is money. Money, money, money. I'm sure your beady little eyes are just counting down the days till Candy keels over.
Like I said, I know many of you have read this before, but it absolutely made me sick when I heard about it and it just pissed me off so much because I have watched the show and it is like if he doesn't mention the fact there is a daughter, she doesn't exist. And Tori? What the hell is your excuse for allowing that behavior? What if your dad had done the same thing to you? Think about that little girl when you are holding yours.