Friday, January 23, 2009

Everyone Loves A Tell All Book


To me there is not much more joy in the world of gossip than a tell-all book. They are usually very short, easy reads with just enough juice to keep you going through the next 30 pages of monotony. I actually have a theory that you could combine the juice of every tell-all book ever written and still probably be under 1,000 pages for the whole thing. In fact, I think some editor should just do that. Stop wasting time compiling short stories or the best of whatever for a particular year, just edit all the tell-all books and biographies for their essence. That would be a great book.

Anyway, the subject of this tell-all book is Angelina Jolie, and specifically her relationship with Brad Pitt. The book is being shopped by one of Angelina's former bodyguards who was never asked to sign a confidentiality agreement.

Uh oh. That spells trouble.

In Touch says that Angelina is currently trying to block the publication of the book. The bodyguard was not just a guy they hired off the streets for a couple of weeks, but was the head of her entire security detail. He worked for Angelina for several years until he was fired by Brad Pitt last year.

Apparently this guy was around when Brad and Angelina met so we will get another version of that story and may be why Brad went to such great pains a few months ago to establish a timeline of the relationship. The book also promises lots of details about the sex life of Brad and Angelina. I really don't think I want to know how the guy learned all about that. Maybe that is why he got fired.

29 comments:

not on my dollar said...

IF he does write a tell all it will probably just give us information that we already know or exaggerate the situation.

I have never read a tell all that told the truth and gave the reader juicy gossip.

amster said...

I am ashamed to say that I would read it.

Mooshki said...

"...just edit all the tell-all books and biographies for their essence."

But that's what we have you for, Enty! ;)

lutefisk said...

Does anyone even CARE about a timeline at this point?
I am sure it will be interesting reading, but no longer scandalous.

ms_wonderland said...

Celebs treat bodyguards like furniture, assuming they see nothing and say nothing. In fact bodyguards see everything, and know all their client's 'weaknesses'. Not a good idea to piss them off. This guy will need to make good money off his tell-all, as he wont work security again. Angelina will pay him to shut up if she has any sense.

jax said...

colour me interested!

twunty mcslore said...

I'm interested too but wouldn't it suck to have someone who worked for you tell everyone every little detail of your life? No one is a saint, though some pretend more than others. They try to come off as holier than thou so, sure. I'd read it. Zahara probably runs the show anyway.

Cheryl said...

The bodyguard probably interviewed Maddox's friends like Andrew Morton interviewed Diana's friends.

CityGirl said...

I would buy that book in a red hot Second!!

Molly said...

twunty, that's why teh celebs make people sign things. they blew it in his case.

audieh_1 said...

I hate people who feel the need to go public with someone's private life. When it is announced that anyone is writing a tell all book, it almost sounds like they are lining up the future black mail payment to keep those secrets safe, when in reality it is usually nothing more scandalous than what is already out there.

Lisa said...

Uh oh, indeed! BTW, I don't care for Zahara much. That child looks constantly pissed off. I think she's going to be a future Naomi Campbell (temperment wise only)

Lisa said...

Uh oh, indeed! BTW, I don't care for Zahara much. That child looks constantly pissed off. I think she's going to be a future Naomi Campbell (temperment wise only)

Girly said...

So Enty, without having him sign a non-disclosure agreement, what legal arguments can Brangelina even raise against him?

thanks!

sandman said...

slander, defamation of character, maybe implied duty of care regarding secrecy which might be standard for that type of work etc,... the usual suspects.

AnonMom said...

My predictions on what the book will say, based on various blind items and gossip reports:

- Brangelina have been having crazy monkey sex since day one of meeting.
- kids arent' actually that well taken care of, they also have the run of the house.
- Angelina is more psycho than Brad bargained for.

Anotheramy said...

There would be no scandal if a household employee told all about me but people probably wouldnt like anyone in our house anymore. Almost anything can be put out of context or given a bad spin. What a horrible invasion of privacy.
On another note, if it comes out, I will read it.

Girly said...

thanks, sandman!

ffleur said...

Angie has always annoyed me. Something about her superior attitude and preditory ways with men.

Anyway, I hope the book has something about her drug use because I'm convinced she does heroin regularly and that is why she doesn't adopt or deliver her babies in America. Because she would be subject to drug tests. Also, heroin would explain her horrible, unhealthy skinnyness.

The book may also have something about her sexual hook ups. And maybe Brad's too. Is Brad bi-sexual?

Pookie said...

ooohh...brad bisexual? now THAT would be juicy, in addition to angie's drug use.

i'd so buy this book.

ambernyc said...

Bleh. These two never shut up about themselves and their family and their life as it is. I feel like I already know more than enough about these two bland, overhyped turds.

palealebrew10 said...

what ambernyc said. but yeah, i'd still buy it.


Angelina is only beautiful on the outside, despite what she wants the world to think.

Miss X said...

I picked up the In Touch magazine tonight. I wouldn't buy the book but I would check it out at the library!

bionic bunny! said...

i dunno, i got a kick out of the tom cruise "tell all". it was more about his connections to scientology, (and no gay stories, lots of straight posing, though), but it was entertaining.
yeah, i tend to run out of horror novels at the book store and am forced to then read celeb tell alls and autobiographies. i really liked robert wagner's.

Wil said...

Damn .. I'd buy it, read it, commit it to memory and giggle myself into unconsciousness nightly recalling some of the least flattering things revealed in the book.

I don't really know why I don't like these two .. but I don't. No .. ya know what .. I do get why I dislike them. They are liars.

We all know they started fucking like bunnies immediately .. and not that I have any great love for Jennifer Aniston .. because to don't .. but at least fess up and be honest. One slut to another Brad .. you are lying to make yourself look better than you actually are. Take your lumps, admit you are just as flawed as the rest of us and tell the truth.

Pink Skull said...

Here are my guesses on the juice:
1. Angelina gave up her kinko three ways to be with Brad
2. They are both prima donnas who can't even tie their own shoes
3. John Voight is an absentee father who is also kind of a creep

Molly said...

supposedly, the juice is

1. aj treats brad like shit
2. much name calling and derision of brad on the part of aj
3. aj has been sleeping around on brad


shocking. ( y a w n )

Ace Tomato said...

I'd read it. I have no decent excuse beyond total voyeurism.

On the timeline - I suspect there is a legal angle on who did what when. If BP and JA had any form of prenup with any sort of infidelity clause, then it would be important for everyone to keep their story straight.

Just guessing.

I'm more interested in why BP fired Angie's head of security. Whatever did they bump heads over?

shakey said...

Just to be clear, this isn't the same guy who beat people up on their behalf?