Please Stop Having Sex In The Grocery Store
I know you are expecting to read some post about people who are always having sex in the grocery store. Do people do that? Do you ever wonder whether, after the store closes, maybe some workers are doing some things they probably shouldn't while laying on the display of apples?
Apparently Bruce Springsteen has not been grocery shopping in quite some time. From the quotes in an recent interview with The Observer, I'm saying it has been, many, many years.
"They opened up this big, beautiful supermarket near where we lived. I remember walking through the aisles and I thought 'This place is spectacular. This place is a fantasy land!'"
Umm, Bruce. It's a place to get food and booze and where people wonder if they have enough money to buy enough to feed their family. It probably seems like a fantasy land only to people who don't go grocery shopping or to people who don't have grocery stores in their countries.
"And then I started to get into it. I started looking around and hmm - the subtext in here is so heavy. It's like, do people really want to shop in this store or do they just want to screw on the floor?"
Has anyone ever said to themselves, "You know what? Screw the shopping, I am just going to find someone and throw them up against the Captain Crunch and have my way with them." As you may have guess, I am fairly perverted, but I can honestly say that I have never thought about laying down on the floors of any grocery store. Never even crossed my mind. Do I want to roll around in the bakery displays? Well sure, but who doesn't want the chance to do that? But sex on the floor? I don't think so.
"Maybe it's about buying groceries but maybe there's this other thing going on. In the States supermarkets are sort of shameless, the bounty in them is overflowing. So the sexual subtext, well, maybe it's just twisted me, but wow, it's my new favorite place."
I'm glad he enjoys going, so maybe now it will give him some perspective. Bruce has always been the guy for the middle class and the guy who cares for the downtrodden. He is still a big giver and donates a huge amount of his time, but either he was smoking a LOT right before and during the interview or he has really lost touch. I honestly think you would only get this feeling about a grocery store if you were stoned out of your mind or if you had not been in a really long time. I just don't think any of his fans have those kinds of thoughts about the grocery store. I don't think the average person thinks of it as a fantasy land. I could go into a big spiel about how a grocery store will give you a cross section of life like almost no other place, but I don't think any of them are thinking about sex.
30 comments:
Mmmmmmm, Cap'n Crunch! YUM!
Well, there is supermarket dating code...
But Enty, like you haven't dreamed of making love (maybe alone) on a pile of Chicken in a Biscuits. ;)
Yeah, The Boss had to have been stoned. Only way. He cracks me up.
I can't wait to see what he says about performing at the Super Bowl.
"Why is everyone wearing only red, black, and gold colors here?!?! People need to visit clothing stores and buy new colors, and have sex in there as well".
see what happens when you hang out with Mickey Rourke.........
YIKES....BRUCE NEEDS TO GET OUT MORE
Years ago I worked at Linens n Things. One time a customer discovered a young couple getting it on under the covers in one our display beds.
I think he's talking about the Whole Foods near his and Patti Scialfa's place in Jersey. Who hasn't been turned on in that store?
I'm on team Bruce with this one. My local, downtown (chain) supermarket sucks. I didn't know it sucked until I went to a new, huge Loblaws in the 'burbs with a friend.
Holy Moly! Wide aisles, every type of food you could imagine. Every flavour...I was dumbstruck by the variety of products that is non-existent in my local store.
fuck he must have stroked out upon finding out about the reusable cloth bags.
See, I KNEW that the guy in the deli wanted more than just how thin I wanted my roast beef cut.
Sounds like he's talking about that Whole Foods on 35, but if he had any taste he'd be at the Delicious Orchards in Colts Neck.
No, I completely understand. I get very excited about great grocery stores. Not "take off my clothes and have sex in the vegatables" - excited, but things can get pretty lyrical. You'd understand if you had ever been to my local Safeway.
about what i'd expect from the jersey boy who couldn't figure out how to get to ny until he was about 30.
Right there with you, Ms! Wegman's is my fantasy grocery store. Four kinds of everything; freshly prepared foods not limited to items in the potato salad family; being able to push a cart without it becoming a game of Human Tetris.
If I didn't love living in the city so much I would totally move just for the grocery stores. And Target. And having a washer/dryer in my own home.
@ ureallyannoyme
Ooohhhh, a dryer...I've had fantasies. Seriously.
I miss Wegmans. I went to the one in Woodbridge, NJ but now I live in Austin, TX.
My sister used to live near Bruce and had a few sightings. Some good stories. In a nutshell, very generous with time and money but DO NOT bother him in public in NJ.
I don't care.
The Boss can tap me over the produce display any day of the week.
I used to work at a grocery store. One of the managers got in trouble for having sex on one of the registers after closing the store.
I don't even want to think about what went on in the back break room.
Does he push the cart with his hard-on?
I've grabbed my husband's ass more than a few times in the grocery store. Been a long time since I've had sex in a public place ...
Where I work, people have done it in odd places. Some have been caught in flagrante. Others? Well, the security guards just sit and watch it all go down on the cameras.
i hug a lot of people at trader joe's.
does that count?
All through High School I worked at Waldbaums. The rowdiest we ever got was "accidentally" breaking open packages of chocolate & cookies.
Ha, Lutefisk, I worked in gourmet chocolates at a department store, and we "accidentally" dropped trays of truffles all the time. As far as I know, no sex there, but the stock room at Crate & Barrel was a whole 'nother story. (For the record, it wasn't me; I don't like giant dust bunnies in my nether regions.)
OK. I like Bruce Springsteen, but these celebrities need to shut up about crap they know nothing about. Sex in the supermarket? Really? What the hell?
I'm all giddy thinking about the Boss in the supermarket. I'm surely thinking sex if I see him there.
IMO, dissing Bruce is off limits on anyone's website.
Just got back from King Soopers. The name alone is sexy. Anyway I went to every dept and decided the produce dept was the most sexually suggestive. With all of the mellons, banana's and cucumbers and the like. Close second was the meat dept. I could get pretty horny around raw meat.Well there you have it. All this time I thought it was just a place to buy groceries. Now if only Bruce shopped there.
Hum .. sex in the grocery store?? Well.. I think the closest I ever got was shopping with my the guy formerly known as the love of my life at the King Sooper off Colfax in Lakewood CO when I visited him last year. Bread aisle .. I had to squeeze something and his bum was there .. and oh-so squeeze-able. I was discreet however.
Given what I know now .. I probably should have laid him down in the bakery and made love to him.
Is he gonna write the companion song to "Love in an Elevator"?
Don't leave him alone around the melons. "Bruce, what are you doing? We already bought cantaloupe. Hey, what the...?!"
'Tis better to shop and sex at "Giant" than at "Safeway."
Ent, I loved (seriously!) the thought of you rolling around amid the rolls. Mmmmm, bread.
Hypocrite. If "bounty" is so bad, then he should be expected to live a barren life and give away all his money so as not be tempted by excess.
And yet he doesn't. Excess bounty is bad if my choices are restricted - not his.
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