Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Hope They Used Protection Or MySpace Might Have A Virus


I have had my dreams crushed today. Seriously. I always thought that if I became a billionaire that I could have any woman I wanted. I would be able to finally have my shot at Eva Mendes. But, apparently that is not the case. Apparently despite how much money you have, you are still forced to mess around with the likes of Paris Hilton. I swear to you that if I had a billion dollars, I would never, ever even touch Paris Hilton, so I don't know why the CEO of MySpace is jumping all over her bones.

Oh yes he did. Chris DeWolfe, who is not a horrible looking guy and Paris hooked up at a club while they were both at Sundance together. When I say hooked up I don't mean they shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. I mean they groped and fondled each other and made out both vertically in a corner and then horizontally on a table in full view of everyone. After the the table incident I guess they decided to go wherever two people go in that situation. I doubt it was to Denny's. All I hope is that billions of dollars can buy you the very best in protection if you know what I mean.

The sad part is that when news outlets began picking up on this story, and calling MySpace for a comment, even the spokesperson there couldn't really hide their disgust.

“This is what happens when altitude affects your brain. ... They’re just having fun.”

Lets hope it is not the kind of fun that lasts a lifetime.

16 comments:

David D. said...

I'm sure she's a perfectly charming young woman but I wouldn't go within 30 feet of her without a hazmat suit.

Goodgrief said...

I guess I can't get over the fact that of all the women in the world you would choose Eva Mendez. I realize that men think differently than women when it comes to that type of thing, but I am sure you could find someone as equal or better looking than Eva and I am certain, one with a better attitude.As far as Paris and Mr Myspace, money doesn't buy good taste.

canadachick said...

damn that wonky eye of hers must have some hypnotic voodoo magic - either that or men really are that shallow......hmmm pondering

Miranda said...

Ick. That's all I can think whenever I think about the long string of men Paris Hilton has infected. Eww, eww, and double ick.

Ror said...

Did she slip him some GHB?!?

ItsJustMe said...

Reason #2353633 why MySpace has jumped the shark.

Ms. said...

@AnonMom

Agreed!

bmini said...

Funny labels today.

Anonymous said...

lol@hazmat

I wonder if Parasite was wearing that stupid bunny hat and that's what attracted Mr. MySpace LOL.

ElsieFire said...

Watch for MySpace to be infected by the "Ebola" Virus now....go Facebook!

Mexi said...

but she's only slept with two men in her whole life!!! ugh Paris...just...go away!!!!

mooshki said...

And Mexi, she's never taken drugs either, not once!!!

Mexi said...

lol Mooshki...I'll believe that when her std panel comes back clean *shivers*

jax said...

look for the new social networking site MyHerpes.com to 'pop up' anytime now.

Snautrag said...

I'm going straight to hell but you have to admit...an improvement on that last one of hers who looked like a rodent.

c17 said...

Lets hope it is not the kind of fun that lasts a lifetime.

Ummm....I got news for you Ent. Herpes lasts a LIFETIME. So, yeah.

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