Monday, April 20, 2009

Lets Talk About Rubina Ali And Madonna


So, as many of you know by now, The News Of The World caught Rubina Ali's father and uncle trying to sell her for $300,000 to reporters disguised as an Arab couple who wanted to adopt Rubina. I know all of you were shocked by the dad and the uncle doing this and I was as well, but I also think there is another side that needs to be considered.

According to the NOTW article, about 11 million kids are abandoned in India every year. Think about that. Year in and year out, 11 million kids are abandoned. When is the last time you heard about reporters going undercover to save one of those 11 million kids?

How is this any different from what Madonna is doing in Malawi? She is basically buying a child. Mercy has a father. David has a father. David's father gets paid or has received money. Do you think the price went up because it was Madonna adopting his child instead of a middle class couple from nowhere?

I want to make myself clear. I think that what her dad and uncle did is completely wrong. I hate it. She has a dad and step-mom and apparently a new apartment in which to live but which her dad says is too far from his home. His home by the way, which he complains about being too small and which is why he needs the money.

I guess what I am trying to get a handle on here is why this situation is any different from Madonna's adoption. We talk smack about her here, but if she does adopt Mercy, People or OK or US will put her photo on the cover and talk about the new addition to her family. They won't vilify the family in Malawi for taking the money or talk trash about them selling their daughter or grand daughter. Someone explain to me how we can put on one the cover of a magazine saying how good she is for taking Mercy or David out of poverty, and how Rubina's dad is awful for doing the same thing.

26 comments:

Hotseat said...

I agree 100%. You forgot to mention, that in these troubled times, Madonna should be buying American.

Hotseat said...

I agree 100%. You forgot to mention, that in these troubled times, Madonna should be buying American.

Pookie said...

both rubina's father and madonna are despicable. we're just able to put madonna on blast b/c she's a public figure. but that they're both vile, they're vile.

as for madonna, economic times are bad everywhere. if times are bad in the US, imagine other less developed countries. she can "buy" where she sees fit.

Mooshki said...

Preachin' to the choir, Enty.

JS said...

I guess it matters whether you are spending the money or making a profit....

JS said...

I guess it matters whether you are spending the money or making a profit....

Nicola said...

Most, if not all of the Indian kids who are "adopted" by Dubai citizens, are made slaves. They do get a large number of those 11 million kids orphaned in India. That's why there is so much outrage.

svd said...

i got it! madonna could adopt rubina and everyone is happy.

maryja said...

I'm with Nicola, any "shiek" who wants to 'buy' a 7 year old girl is in human trafficking. Madonna, for all her faults, wouldn't require Mercy (or David) to perform sexual acts for the honor of being kept alive in probably horrific living conditions.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_trafficking

Harriet Hellfire said...

Because Madonna is rich and still looks great in tights. We hate that.

mngddess said...

This entire matter is revolting. How about using some birth control so their isn't a problem in the first place? Seeing Rubina's sweet little face makes me want to adopt her myself. I hope everything turns out well.

Ice Angel said...

We adopted our first two sons from birth. They are both white, although my older son has some hispanic blood in him, about 1/4. When going to adopt our 3rd, a girl from a Mexican woman in Texas, our world just about fell apart. Just before we were to fly down there to collect our new baby, we learned the adoption facilitator was "buying" babies to "sell" them to US citizens.

Well, sure we paid him a lot of money, but that was meant to go to the mother's doctor bills, court fees, etc... Apparently, he was giving each of the women $2,000.00 for their babies. In his mind, I think he felt like he was "helping." Mom lives in poverty, needs money to feed her other children and the baby gets an affulent home in the US. Everyone wins, right?

Luckily, the mother in law of one of the babies called authorities and he was arrested in Mexico and thrown in prison down there. I am sure I will never hear from him again. Apparently, one of the moms was "selling" her baby to afford the meds for her other child who had cancer and needed treatments. She has "sold" 3 babies already.

After that, we changed our tunes and have become foster parents. We now have a 4 year old little girl who is African American and we are hoping to adopt her.

And guess what...she lived less than one hour away from us, right here in the US of A. I didn't need to go to other countries to get her. Of course, we will be dealing with lots of red tape, but at least we will be legitimate.

There are millions of kids in foster care who need homes that are living right here in your own country. If you love kids so much and want them in your lives, then do foster care.

Oh-and by the way....a BIG reason why celebrities are not flocking to foster children? You cannot take photographs and release them or post them on the Internet of foster children. Their identities are to be confidential. So what's the point, right? No press, right?
Just a hunch...

linnea said...

no difference.

ElsieFire said...

Ice Angel, as much as I appreciate your honesty, you were "buying" a baby. Private adoption in the US and in Canada is akin to that. And there is NOTHING wrong with that process, unless of course, you end up going through what you did, and for that, I'm very sorry.

Adopting through Child and Family doesn't require spending tens of thousands of dollars, but it usually doesn't mean infants either, which is what so many people want. Primarily for reasons that I would be wary of too: abuse, drug addiction, etc. But alot of these older kids need the love more, and it breaks my heart to hear of people only wanting to have infants.

Fostering children, as you are doing too, doesn't always end up all lovey dovey either. That little girl you have with you now could end up going back to her birth parents or her immediate family. Of course, I wish you all the best.

My guess is this is the reason celebrities don't foster and go to third world countries. They can adopt fairly easily, parents are really out of the way and very unlikely to come knocking on their doorstep (who's gonna find them in the 10+ residences?).

As for Madonna vs. the asshat dad. Pains me to say this, but Mercy was handed over to an orphanage. I'm not versed on Malawain law, but I would guess that there is some sort of caveat that once you sign over your child, said child could be adopted. Madonna got turfed because she was trying to circumvent the process, as she should have been.

Rubina's father is outright selling his child.

Nicola said...

@ ice angel
I think one of the reasons celebs don't adopt "locally" is that it is so much easier for the press to track down the kids families. Florida has the strictest laws, which is why most of them who choose to adopt here do so. Plus most of them want orphans. Saves all the crap that Madonna has to go through (payoffs, visitations, etc.) By the way, do you think if Madonna gets Mercy, David will ever visit Malawi again.

jax said...

celebs don't buy local because they'd have to disclose a lot of information they don't want to and would have to deal with the local family like Nicola said.

Nosey Parker said...

I spent 3 months in India in 1986, and was told that children were blinded by their parents so they could make more money begging. A tout in Goa told me that the guy that sold sodas on the beach was loaning his 9 year old son to a gay couple from Amsterdam. Dad had been pimping the boy out for sex, and they offered money and education to adopt him for a few years. The newspaper ran a story about the growing number of women being murdered in kitchen fires. The husband's family would collect a dowry and pour kerosene on the new bride so he could marry again. I liked India, but was shocked by the stories I heard there. =[

Ice Angel said...

I think all states are different. In Illinois you do not have contact with the birth familes, unless you have that kind of arrangement. Our names and contact information are held confidential, as is the little girl's identity.

Birth parents to not "come out of the woodwork" so to speak, although I can imagine if you are rich and famous that may happen, but generally speaking, the horror stories you hear are extremely rare and mostly happen in Lifetime movies.

That said, of course there is a risk to fostering to adopt, but that is a risk our family has accepted after a lot of soul searching and are praying it works out. The one it would work out least for would be the little girl, as she should not, by any means, ever go back to birth mom again, and not just because of financial reasons.

I'm not saying that going overseas to adopt is a bad thing. I know lots of people who have done so and their kids are far better off. It is just that when these celebs act so holier than though about it that bothers me. That and throwing their money and their weight around small foreign countries is just really opening up things for corruption. Perhaps not now, but in the long run.

And no-it was NEVER my intention to "buy" a baby. The costs did not far exceed what the costs through Catholic Charities were. They were $14,000.00 as opposed to $9,600.00 and I did have an attorney working with the case, so thought it was on the up and up.

"Buying" a baby assumes giving cash payment to the children's biological parents in return for the child. You are allowed to help them out in any way along their pregnancy, but never to simply give them cash in exchange for the child. It is a fine line and we almost inadvertantly crossed it. I suggest everyone be very careful.

Ice Angel said...

Nicola,

I am glad you brought up the press, who I think is absolutely shameful, because many of them would do that. Celebs child's birth mother living in poverty-shocking photos inside!!! Horrible.

That said, I also think it is horrible to always refer to adopted children of celebs as "adopted children" as if they are less than just "children." Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's children are not their "adopted children" they are their children, period (say what you would about either of them, but just as an example.) The press does that all the time and think is archaic.

Ice Angel said...

Nosey...those stories are just so horrible. So sad what people in other countries go through. I don't care what anyone says, the US rocks!

Sean said...

one kid was in an orphanage the other kid wasn't

mamio said...

Frankly, this kid needs someone sensible to take her away or put her in school. These kids got kicked out of school because of lack of attendance and all this attention is either going to get to her head and get her nowhere or all this drama is going to get her head all messed up. Let her be a normal little girl with a trust fund that NO-ONE can touch till she's 21 and understands the world much better.

I understand that in India 'the rich get richer and the poor get poorer' but thats because the illiterate gets them nowhere.

And Mr. Ali, Don't burden your child with your ignorance and greediness. Your 'Oscar' trophy is going to get all of you nowhere with scandals like this and Your messing up your daughters wonderful future. Nobody is going to want to work with her ever again and nobody is also going to want to work with a million other children in the slums who dream about getting picked to act in a Hollywood movie to get away from severe poverty.

Judi said...

Adoption is about finding families for children who need one - not the other way around.
There are 11 million orphans in India. For the time being, they only allow foreign families to adopt where at least one parent is Indian. It's at the point of a humanitarian crisis.
No, Madonna is not buying a baby. That's illegal. Foster care is a child protection agency. They work to keep family's together. It is NOT a huge pool of available children to adopt. Of those who are available (where parental rights have been terminated), they almost ALL have issues and only families who have experience with these kinds of issues are suitable. First-time parents? Forget it.
The attraction of IA has to do with the success of the adoption and actually being able to become a parent. The rosters of IA are full of families who tried foster-to-adopt and/or private and were not successful; nothing to do with the suitability of the family (they had approved home study reports), but everything to do with the system and the process not being completed. Yes, there are some that have been successful but not nearly enough.
No country's kids are more deserving than another's. ALL children need families.
Enty, if you're so worried about US kids w/o families, why don't you adopt?

Judi said...

We haven't heard about birth moms coming out of the woodwork because private adoptions are very often "open." Birth moms choose families who are open to her having some level of contact with the child - whatever level she chooses - and the birth families become extended family to the adoptive family.
Also, in the past 15 years, states instituted laws relating to waiting periods to give birth moms time to decide what they want to do. Once past this time period (different in each state), their decisions are irrevocable. This is why we no longer hear any more scenarios about birth moms changing their minds. Oh, by the way, young unmarried girls who get p.g. are among those who 99.9% of the time decide to parent their kids. Their parents and the dad's parents step in to help - just as it should be.

PollyPureBred said...

NoseyParker - your comments are very interesting...makes me wonder WHY the US outsources as many jobs as it does to a country that not only allows, but sometimes fosters such a hideous, abusive treatment of its citizens.
Just because there are no US sactioned sweatshops or child labor abused (that are well known) this is still an issue that shoud be looked into.

No1uNo said...

I'm no fan of Madonna, but I do think there's a HUGE difference between buying a baby to raise as your own (even if Madonna's probably not a good mother, I don't think she's buying kids to make slave laborers or prostitutes out of them), and selling a child to the highest bidder regardless of what they want the child for in the first place. Maybe Rubina's dad cared what kind of home she would be going to, but I haven't heard anything to support that yet.