What Do You Think?
Reese Witherspoon and her agent friend Jim Toth had another date last night. Some source has been telling the tabloids that the couple are not exclusive but are just dating. Would someone or all of you care to explain exclusive? Yes, I know it means that neither of you are seeing anyone else and if you do see someone else while exclusive then it is cheating. I got that part. The part I don't understand is this. I think you would agree that in order for exclusive to apply, both people would have to agree. They would also have to agree they were not exclusive. The thing is though, in my experience, rarely do both people agree on the non exclusive thing. Oh sure, both people might say they want non-exclusive, but in reality it is generally just one person who means it. Invariably in that kind of situation someone will get hurt. If the guy doesn't want exclusive it means that he wants to be able to have sex with as many people as possible and you are in his rotation, or he has an "ex" girlfriend that still has stuff at his place. If the woman wants non exclusive it generally means that she still has a boyfriend she hasn't told you about, looking for a better guy, or wants to be able to have as much sex with as many people as possible.
Guys like women to be exclusive to them, but don't really want the same rules to apply to them. I think before you agree to be non exclusive you have to ask yourself if it will bother you going out to dinner and seeing the person you had a date with the night before making out with someone at the next table. Does it become exclusive after you have sex? I would love to know what you think about the whole exclusive/non-exclusive thing.
32 comments:
All I know is the dude looks super hawt in this photo.
So his agency would be OK with him dating a client?
And she is a good actress, but that is definitely a glow I see on her face.
personally, i don't know anyone who's ever been able to make the "mutually non-exclusive" thing work. it's like you said- usually one person is ok with it while the other is not.
people i know who've tried this admitted to not really being ok with it, but went along with it at first to please the other person.
we all know those situations will end badly, lol.
sex always changes a relationship. those who don't think so are kidding themselves (in my experience)
Is that him in the picture? If so, big-time upgrade, Reese!!
Looks like Nigel Barker to me in that pic.
Hmm, he's with CAA actually. Name doesn't ring a bell though.
Uh?
Yes quite yummy...
Get it while the gettin's good, Reese!
Mmm, he's cute!!
But what are you implying here, Enty? That one of them is definitely not going to be "exclusive"?
if she doesn't want him, i'll take him! he's the yum!
He looks really attractive from my view.
Oh and I could care less whether or not they're exclusive.
Can I see a front view of this guy and a FF too?
they're sex friends! the guy looks like Ira Emmanuel,the Hollywood agent and WME's boss(Jim Toth may be a fan)
Very hot guy.
I personally never could do the non exclusive thing. Especially once sex was involved.
I never got the "non-exclusive to exclusive" thing either. I don't get when it happens.
Is it like going steady when you were in high school?
I've become engaged to everyone I ever dated it seems so I don't know anything. I do like NOMD's request for a FF.
LOL @ Syko. Yeah, she's wanting his letterman jacket or class ring to wear on a chain.
To me, not "exclusive" is you are keeping your options open. Usually, the whole point of dating is to see if you like them enough to "take it to the next level."
Since her and Jakey just broke up maybe she doesn't want anything serious??
He is hot!
He's really hot!!
My imaginary girlfriend doesn't care if I'm unfaithful. That's why I love her so much.
He's hot, but looks nothing like Ari Emanuel. I agree with the 'looks like Nigel Barker' comments. Where's my spoon?
Enty - Sounds like you need a break!
He's a good looking man. Hopefully he can put up with her..
I think you have to agree to be exclusive. If you haven't reached that agreement, then by definition, you are not "exclusive". Not that you should ever be sleeping around (not safe), but if you haven't told me you want to date me and only me - I date whoever the heck I want.
That's just me though. I hate being tied down and won't let anyone tell me I am until we've had the "talk".
I agree with Kara - although I personally have never dated more than one person at a time - not enough time or energy. I think of the beginning of the relationship as non-exclusive - silly to be exclusive with someone you don't know that well. Then one or the other will bring up seeing only each other as the relationship progresses. Personally, if I brought it up and the guy said no, I'd dump him at that point -'cause I don't share well, and I would assume he's either looking for someone better, or I'm one girl in his rotation.
Agree with Kara and DLC. I'm seeing someone right now but we're not exclusive and I'm ok with that. Do I hope we'll be exclusive down the line? Maybe, but I'm still getting to know him so I can't make that decision yet. And I'm pretty sure he's in the same position. He knows I'm dating other people and I know he has that option as well.
I see the exclsuive thing as the step beyond going on a couple dates. I have agreed to dates before, and that does not make me exclusive to that person...
If ever it got to a point where I felt uncomfortable about admitting that I am also dating other people, I would have to make the choice; do I want to date just this one person?
or: do I feel uncomfortable telling them I'm not exclusive to them because they are clingy and would be badly hurt? (at this point I am usually turned off by this person anyways!!)
I dated another guy about two times after going on the first date with my husband. It didn't work out with that guy because I realized that I had a real attraction to my now-husband after dating the other guy, and my hubby admits now that although he was a bit jealous, it drew him to me even more because he didn't feel like I was expecting anything of him.
BUT this is just how it worked out for me. I can see the same scenario going very badly for another couple.
Exclusive means commitment. But I do think in this case, the "source" was Jim Toth. Or his assistant. It is for publicity. No one cares when a celebrity dates a non-celebrity.
Exclusive - dating
Non - friends with benefits
Easy :)
I am currently in a non-exclusive relationship (not my choice) and the reasons are many.
The guy is someone that I grew up with, but we just recently reconnected (thank you, Facebook) after 20-something years. No expectations when we got together, but sparks flew. The snags are that he and I live 133 miles apart; I have joint custody of my son whose father lives in my city; the new guy has only been divorced for less than 6 months, has a house and a killer job, and joint custody of his kids w/his ex (also in his city). I mention his divorce because he went a little (well, a LOT) crazy after he was sprung, so to speak, and had multiple flings, some of which he ended after we got together. He swears he's not seeing anyone else but me but before we reconnected, he agreed to accompany a soccer mom from his daughter's team to Cancun. She seems uninterested in him (his words) other than as an escort to her friend's wedding there, and someone to share expenses with so she could afford to go on this trip. They left today, and won't be back til next Monday evening late - he and I will have no contact for 4 days, and they are sharing a hotel room. He swears he's not interested, and that he will be thinking about things while he's down there. He didn't want to commit to me before this trip was over. He says he won't be sleeping with anyone while he's there or looking to do so.
I am thinking I have the word "sucker" tattooed on my forehead but I guess hope springs eternal. If it doesn't work out it doesn't, but I am pretty crazy about this guy. He also worries that my less-than-friendly ex will never let me move anywhere with my son, thus negating the new guy's and my ability to have a relationship on any permanent basis without damaging my relationship with my son. Definitely a concern, but I can't predict the future and neither can he.
I will be trying to be as busy as possible these next 4 days til he gets home, and be as nonchalant and understanding as possible when he gets back and clues me in to his thoughts. He says he loves me. Can you love someone and not be exclusive? Somebody shoot me!
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