Thursday, July 14, 2011

Prince Albert Needs To Learn To Lie Better


So, after some spokes person for Monaco denied the fact that Albert and Charlene spent their honeymoon apart, more evidence came to light, so the spokespeople admitted they did spend the honeymoon apart. Why? Well, apparently Albert was attending some kind of conference in one part of the city and did not want to spend his time in early morning traffic so he stayed at one hotel, while Charlene stayed at another. OK. Fine. Then why didn't Charlene stay at the hotel near the conference? Just give it up already Albert and go back to f**king tourists who come to town and having babies with them. I can't believe how much unprotected sex this guy is having. Oh, I wonder if that is why Charlene left. Not just because of the cheating and the multiple babies, but I wonder if Albert gave her the gift that keeps on giving.


Oh, and while I really liked her wedding dress, his outfit looks like something a valet would wear. Do they have a military in Monaco, or is this just something he thought would make him look more regal?

45 comments:

RocketQueen said...

This is just tragic. Why did he force her to go through with it, is my big question??

what do I type here? said...

What the hell is his problem. He makes my skin crawl and who on earth would sleep with him knowing what we all know?

Poor girl, not sure what the real story is but whatever it is she is not happy to be there and for what ever reason could not or would not end it.

Lelaina Pierce said...

I can't believe she went through with the wedding. She tried to escape multiple times. And the whole passport debacle. Yuck.

anita_mark said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
anita_mark said...

I feel bad for her but only as bad as I can for someone who was forced to marry a prince.

@RQ, he needs an heir and he needs to actually be married to the child's mother.

If I were her, I'd start banging someone of a different race and get pregnant and then he'd get his heir and be publicly humiliated because he'd so obviously not be the daddy. I'd also be stealing from him so that when I leave him, I'd have money (because you know he'll try to screw her out of anything).

Layna Day said...

I agree, Anita, with the secret bank account. She needs to look out for her future, because as soon as she has a baby, Albert will drop Charlene like a hot potato.

She should start screaming in public and drawing attention to herself. Nothing says get me out of this mess than hollering I'M A MARITAL PRISONER at the top of her lungs.

RocketQueen said...

I hear that Anita, but why her? She's obviously unhappy and he clearly doesn't respect her. Let the girl go, find someone else who will be happy to produce an heir regardless of your behaviour. This is just a nightmare situation.

MISCH said...

Princess Grace must be spinning in her grave, not that she was an angel she slept with all her leading men. But Albert sure has her beat.

selenakyle said...

He ain't looking regal no matter what he wears.

anita_mark said...

He's 53, isn't he? My guess is he's afraid of time running out although I'm sure he could get a Kardashian in a heartbeat

Jasmine said...

LOL anita regarding the Kardashian comment!
And I for one am glad his ugliness on the inside is well reflected on the outside :))
As for the money sitch, I thought she got 50 mill secretly for marrying him. (or was that just a National Enquirer rumor?)

Sue (in MO) said...

LMAO, Anita... if Kim K thought she had a snowball's chance in hell at being "Princess Kim," poor Kris H's butt would be dumped so fast it wouldn't even hit the ground before she was on a plane to Monaco. That title would trump a 20 million dollar ring, anyday!

Sue (in MO) said...

I feel so badly for Charlene - I think it was way too much pressure from his family and hers and a government and everyone else to go through with this wedding, and she gave in. I'm sure there was a lot of money involved - which is sad. But having said that - if it were my daughter, and she wanted out, I'd move heaven and earth to get her out of there - money, politics, and "saving face" be damned.

MacVixen said...

I still don't get the big push for him to have an heir. Monaco already changed the constitution to allow Andrea Casiraghi to take the throne upon Albert's death. An heir is NOT needed at this point, right?

timebob said...

I don't think Albert's ego is going to let his sister's son and his future heirs take his place in line. Royals are funny like that.

But I for one can't wait for Princess Charlene's memoir one day that should be fun.

You know that future heir won't be conceived natuarally, for sure.

SFG said...

This situation makes me so sad. She's somewhat of a victim but there seems to be something else at play here, so I feel tremendous sympathy for her. She does not seem happy at all. Not enough money and royalty in the world for me to be in a relationship with this loser. Sorry, NO. I hope she can get out sooner rather than later.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

I don't think Albert's ego is going to let his sister's son and his future heirs take his place in line. Royals are funny like that.

I think you've hit the nail on the head, @timebob. He wants to have a legitimate heir of his own and keep the Grimaldi name going, and if he has to screw his sister and nephew in the process, oh well. He sounds like a spoiled brat of a prince, this Albert in a can.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Just wanted to add that I think Andrea Casiraghi would make a fine Prince of Monaco. According to Wikipedia, he'd adopt the surname of Grimaldi if he ascended to the throne.

msgirl said...

This is just a criminal and sad situation.

weezy said...

It's her *nails*! *That's* what's been bothering me; an Armani gown, a fairy-tale wedding and she's got bitten unmanicured nails.

On the Kardashians -- you think Kris hasn't had a call in to Albert for months now? Wow, I hadn't thought of the extended consequences of Albert's unprotected sex. Eeyewwwww.

On his uniform -- his suits in general seem sloppy, like his tailor couldn't stop laughing. Ever take a look at his pants cuffs, for one?

weezy said...

Anyone else think it's funny that there's a banner ad at the top of this page for Itentigene, the DNA-test provider? Way to target that niche-market, Enty!

Fawn Neun said...

I feel VERY bad for her. He's not a prince, he's a toad. I don't even know anything about his history, I just think he looks creepy as hell.

Ida Blankenship said...

This situation is just so effing Medieval to me.

So...she clenches her teeth, reclines, closes her eyes, and lets this potatohead grunt and heave atop her on the regular -- until she gets knocked up with a son, and *then* she's free to go?

Mindboggling. I feel sorry for her because I sense that she DID try to escape the situation as best she could, but she was lured back in with promises of money, power, and total eventual freedom. I can see her wearing a straw hat and living on a tiny farm in South Africa in fifteen years -- but then what happens to her relationship with her kid? How can she eventually escape her situation if there's a child back in Monaco?

I think it's sad when anyone has to have sex with a person they're obviously not in love with -- not saying it's completely unconsensual or anything, but she was NOT happy on that wedding day.

califblondy said...

Let's pitch in and hire Dog the Bounty Hunter to rescue her.

If nothing else, it'd be fun to see the Dog and Beth in Monaco.

It's a sad thing for sure and it's too bad that Charlene's own father discounted the escape stories. I wonder how much he got?

weezy said...

Maybe she thinks that once she's given him an heir and a spare, she'll be in the driver's seat. She may be barred from saying anything negative about the kingdome (meaning Albert) -- but that doesn't mean someone *else* can't spill the beans on her behalf. Then she will have extensive custody of the child (or at least a separate household *in* Monaco.) It's not like the Grimaldis can argue only they can raise the heir in the palace -- because they've done such a great job for the last five or six generations. Not.

Anotheramy said...

I agree, why her? There are plenty of women who would jump at the chance to marry him and give him an heir. Why did he and the palace insist that she be the one? Its not as if she is a princess therefore the only one able to become queen. Its not the 1700s, he doesn't need her land or her crops. Its not as if he took her virginity so now she has to marry him because no one else will have her.

stephani said...

Let's see. Her nails were unmanicured, her dress wasn't tailored properly (a custom Armani Prive gown, mind. I'm sure there were tailors on hand), she looked glum and weepy during the ceremony. I have a feeling negotiations, threats, whatever, were going on literally minutes before she was pushed down the aisle. The fuggirls hit the nail on the head on their website when they said this wedding was a throwback to The Tudors era when brides were unwillingly married off for land and their family's fortune. I bet Charlene's parents got paid off too.

This whole thing stinks and I feel badly for her. It's like Lady Diana 2.0. all over again. She doesn't strike me as a fame whore either. I agree, he would have been better off hiring a more game bride.

I did read in a NYTimes article posted before the wedding that Princess Caroline and Stephanie have both been publicly supportive of Charlene. Both have had their own storied unhappy romantic pasts, so hopefully Charlene can lean on them. Caroline did not look happy AT ALL at the photos I saw of her at the wedding. Whether she was unhappy about her son no longer inheriting the throne or the nature of the negotiations, no one knows.

anita_mark said...

Califblondy, I think I love you. That was hilarious. Dog and Beth in any setting is amusing as hell. Especially when they think they're dressed up (I saw their wedding).

weezy said...

I was startled when I saw the pics of Charlotte Casiraghi, Caroline's daughter. She's gorgeous and the image of her late grandmother. Caroline's no longer young, apparently drinks and smokes and suns a bit (judging from her skin) and has a louse for a (third) husband. Her dress and big hat were matronly and she must have taken a good hard look in the mirror, then went into permanent wince.

Angela said...

They have some honorary military in Monaco, but it's like the Swiss guards in Vatican.

And maybe Charlene has a fetish for Jeff Zucker look-alikes.

And, sorry to repeat it, but Albert is not a bad guy. He's just stupid. Too dumb to use a condom after the umpteenth pregnancy, just happy to get laid even if it's just because he carries the title of a prince. He basically takes care of sports because it brings him some kind of mission but don't ask him anything beyond that.

If you want a real douchebag, look no further than Caroline's husband, Ernst-August of Hanover:
- drunk: check (he has a tendency to pee in the street)
- cheater: check.
- racist: check (he was photographed peeing on the Turkish pavilion at the World's Fair in Hanover)
- giving the Nazi salute: check.

Jingle Belle said...

I feel so sorry for Charlene. Having her passport taken away and forced to walk down the aisle...she basically is a slave. And as for the person above who suggested that she cheat on Albert with someone of a different race...do you honestly believe that she is allowed one moment on her own? I imagine that she is watched 24/7...even moreso than Katie Holmes.

califblondy said...

Can you imagine Beth screaming... "Charlie, get your boney ass in the car!"

Of course, they would stop off at the local strip mall nail salon for 3-inch acrylics before heading to the airport.

While the Dog pats Prince Al's bald head saying...."Sorry brother, but I gotta take the girl."

OMG, the Dog's wedding video was priceless.

anita_mark said...

Oh God, I'm laughing. Then he'll tell Albert about what he's done in the past, "I've been there brother..." while his family/crew starts pouring out of the Escalades and you try to decide who's hair is the worst.

I don't know how Beth can drive with those ginormous breasts.

Picasso One said...

Monaco has NO Military, they depend on France's Military for self-defense and I don't think that's a french Naval officers uniform that Albert is wearing either. But then again he's only a prince, guess Monaco isn't really big enough for a King.

thisoldbroad said...

I agree he is a 1st class turd. But I'm having trouble feeling sorry for her. I think if she truly wanted out, she would be out. Makes me wonder if there isn't a big ol bank account somewhere with her name on it.

Why did he feel this burning need to be married right now? Obviously she isn't "the one", so all I can figure is there must be a financial reason. Maybe something in Dad's will?

Jamie's Girl said...

It's all about money. She's not a 19 year old virgin, or a slick manipulator like Will's Kate. She knew the score. Yes, she changed her mind, and should have been allowed to back out, but she also knew what a douchey guy she's marrying. That's like saying that Annette Bening didn't know what she was marrying with Warren Beatty. Plus, Albert has always been a *cough* playboy. blech.


What got her back into the wedding was probably the agreement that the boys be born by IVF/Gender Selection to ensure that she would be pregnant with twin boys and guarantee him an heir, yet, she won't have to be in the bedroom with him.

Angela said...

@ Picasso One
Monaco might have one or two "battle" ships, something for coast guards, so they can justify the existence of a navy and honorary military titles.
The uniform that Albert was wearing certainly meant that he was in charge of his rubber duck in his bath.

bj said...

It has to be a monetary deal. She is not a youngster, SHE CAN READ... We HERE know about his B*stards, so, LET IT BE INVITRO, Let her travel with the Heirs, coming back to Monaco with them when needed. 'across town due to traffic' LOL-Monacco is SMALLER then CENTRAL PARK in NYC!!!! GIVE ME A BREAK!!! Traffic for WHAT?

ara said...

First of all, i can see you don't know anything about these royals, there are no paternity claims, just rumors. Yes the prince had alot of fun with a lot off ladies, he has made 2 kids and it's known that he has a very good relationship with his son. He is a 53 year old man who is finally settling down, she is no spring chicken either. She knows what she is doing( olympic atlete=determination)
And BTW it will not be Andrea who is first in line, It's Princess Alexandra of Hannover, Caroline's youngest. Because she is royalty and none of the other children are.

ara said...

Oh and if you would have met the prince you would notice that he is a shy person, he also stutters and is a bit clumsy that's part of the charm. That's what makes him adorable to the ladies. It's the women who swirmed to him like bees to honey, because he's rich and a prince he knows that, that is how his first child was conceived. with the mother of his son he had a 5 year relationship.

Maybe he finally found someone who loves him, for who he really is and not for Albert the Prince

Bubbles said...

Why are Princess Caroline's children who came from her royal womb not royalty and Charlene, owner of non-royal womb will have royal heirs?

The Black Cat said...

I'm thinking she is doing this just for a pay off down the road. I'd probably do the same, grin and bear it for a while and then do my own thing.
I'm also wondering if perhaps the media isn't portraying her as a "victim" here and only showing photos of her not smiling. I wasn't beaming like a lunatic on my wedding day either.
Her dress was exquisite.

ara said...

@bubbles technicalities their father was not a royal or any other nobility.The 3 husband is a Royal highness a prince and a duke, therefore her youngest daughter is first in line.
the one who succeeds Albert has to have a royal title, but Albert can also give them one.
So after Caroline first in line is Alexandra

The child of Charlene will be a hereditary, because mom is married to the ruler of Monaco

lizzie said...

I'll bet she's pregnant.

fairylights said...

Ara, that's not the way most lines of succession work. For the monegasque throne, it's the oldest son of the oldest son. If the Prince does not have a son, it goes to a daughter. If the prince has no children, it goes to the next oldest brother's oldest child. In this case, it would revert to the oldest son of Prince Albert's oldest sister, which means that Andrea Cassiraghi is the heir presumptive until Prince Albert has a legitimate child. While the children of the third hubby are Royal Highnesses, those titles do not come from Monaco, the country in questions, so they do not supercede the claims of the other children who are older than they are. (Yes, I'm a royalty nerd!)

I'm waiting for a book on this one, someone is going to talk at some point, and it will be interesting to see what was actually going on.