Friday, June 01, 2012

Family Gets $3M After Dad Had A Threesome And Died


It's not often you hear about a man who dies during a threesome and somehow his family ends up with $3M because of it. OK, lets face it. None of us have ever heard of that before. But it has finally happened so you can check the box in the book you keep next to the bed called S**t I thought I Would Never See. Apparently the man who died in the threesome had gone into his doctor the week before and complained of chest pains and arm pain. A jury found that the doctor should have warned the dead guy to not perform any physical activity until a heart stress test was conducted which was scheduled for the day after he died. The jury did find that the dead man was 40% responsible so that is why his estate only got $3M in the suit against the doctor.


Oh, did I mention the woman in the threesome was not the dead guy's wife. How awkward is to have to phone 911 and explain that whole situation. "So, umm, yeah. Ummm. This guy died and ummm. He was one side and I was on the other and ummm. Yeah, there was this woman and ummm. Well, he died while, you know. Ummmm."

It had to be a great 911 call. (thanks lutefisk)

31 comments:

EmEyeKay said...

"...the book you keep next to the bed called S**t I thought I Would Never See."

Mine's filling up quickly.

angel said...

This is ridiculous on so many levels I can't even, and I'd like to know how it was proven that the doctor didn't warn him about engaging in physical activity.

Frances Parker said...

i never thought i'd see a real life lord of the flies-esque eating of peoples faces... i wonder how old this guy was.

FSP said...

What a way to go!

annabella said...

the doctor should have warned him. it wasn't so much the threesome itself, but that he died during strenuous activity. it could have been a jog or a swim. apparently, alot of men have heart attacks during extra-marital sexual activity. its the sexual activity and the guilt or heightened arousal.

Barton Fink said...

At first I thought the gentleman's family had to be paid by the two others in the trio -- and that would be patently unfair! However, it's the doctor, and that makes more sense. Still, I agree with the court that the decedent is partially responsible.

Once, in a nightclub I ran in PDX, a man came in with friends, ordered a drink, and when they asked him onto the dance floor he said, "No, I just got out of the hospital, the doctor told me to rest." He went out on the dancefloor and dropped dead. Scandal. Drama. Queens were freakin'. Those were his last words.

anita_mark said...

So it was two guys and a woman? I don't know what I'd rather, my dignity or $3 million but admitting my husband died in a threesome with another guy and not me.

Agent**It said...

@angel, I was wondering the same thing.

The said...

BS! This guy probably had enough co-morbidities that a big dump after dinner would've brought on an MI. This is why we need tort reform because this is what drives our healthcare costs through the roof!

EmEyeKay said...

@Barton - that wasn't Embers, was it?

sylmarillion said...

Isn't it common knowledge you shouldn't stress an already wobbly heart? Before further tests are performed, anyway?

timebob said...

and this is why free health care will never be possible.

M said...

Shout out to Barton for the PDX connection! Are you still in my fair city or have you left? EmEyeKay, same thing goes for you knowing of Embers. Are you both here???

Agent**It said...

@timebob,@The - agreed.

EmEyeKay said...

@M - I used to live at Satyricon & the Embers (still there?). My art gallery was on Everett. I grew up in PDX but I'm in the Emerald City now.

Amartel said...

This verdict is absolute nonsense. The man knew to see a doctor for his chest pain, obviously he was aware there was a problem especially after the doctor scheduled more testing. He couldn't figure out on his own not to engage any unusual or heavy physical activity? Also, how is the doctor supposed to just "know" that he was going to go out and have a 3 way? Why should it be on the doctor to anticipate that? Our legal system is the best in the world but it depends on jurors exercising common sense, something that was not applied to the law here.

Happy Chocolatini said...

How did they prove that the doctor didn't tell him to avoid strenuous activity? I find it hard to believe that the doctor didn't mention that.

M said...

@EmEyeKay, no Satyricon is long gone but Embers lives on! You must have been in the Everett street lofts? Emerald City is not far. I probably popped into your gallery at some point back in the day!

anita_mark said...

You know how, when you buy a blowdryer, it comes with a list of ridiculous warnings such as not to immerse it in water and don't use while sleeping? It's because of dumbass lawsuits. Can you imagine the messed up checklist that doctors will eventually have to cover with patients to avoid being sued? No illicit threesomes, no shark-baiting, no masturbating in open places, no bear wrestling, and so on....

Krab said...

My great-grandfather died on a public beach screwing his mistress. My mother is still mortified and it happened when she was two years old!

lutefisk said...

This is why no one wants to go into the medical profession any longer. The malpractice insurance is killing doctors. My ob/gyn practice is short a doctor due to one being injured. They can't find another ob/gyn to take her spot. Even if his doctor didn't specifically tell him not to have a threesome you would think that this dumbass would have used his common sense.

Squeezebox said...

Hey people, the idea that malpractice suits/insurance are driving up the price of health care is pure urban legend. Their cost accounts for less than 1% of health care expenditures in the US.

Look it up!

Barton Fink said...

It was the Brigg in the 80s, when I was a young(ish) person. I think they renamed it by now to the Red Brick Something-or-Other. It's amazing there are so many Portlanders around, hey? Keep Portland Weird!

Mooshki said...

Squeezebox, that may be so, but that doesn't mean that the insurance costs are un-affordable for many doctors, especially OB/Gyns.

Idiotic lawsuit, and $3 million is an excessive judgment. I hope it gets turned over on appeal.

EmEyeKay said...

@M - that is so cool that Embers is still there. Do you remember the City Nightclub? I had the gallery for a year, and yeah, I was at the ESLofts. I'm down there every couple of months to visit my mom, let's hook up sometime!

RIP Satyricon... that makes me sad. First time I saw Nirvana was there. First time I used my fake ID. First time I met Courtney Love. My face was painted on the back of the stage for a month or so, I have pictures somewhere. *sigh* I love Portland. I'd move back in a minute if it weren't for the short one's father living here.

@Barton - I hung out at the BRIGG! AHHHHHHH! Had a lot of gay BFFs back in those days. You probably kicked me out at some point ;)

Anotheramy said...

Go Timbers!

I wonder how many people die during nookie. I know Ive heard its usually the extra stress of the extramarital part. Off to Google.

Oh and for future reference, if youre having chest pains and scheduled for testing, please do not run any marathons, lift cars or climb mountains until those tests come back. Kthanks

tamarind said...

I lived on S.E. Morrison.....Portland
rocks!

csproat said...

As long as you're gonna die, you may as well be having a threesome...and if your wife gets 3M afterwards...then everybody wins!...... right?
Oh except for the malpractice insurer......hohoh!

Fairmaiden327 said...

Ludicrous.

Annetta Ribken said...

I worked for a urologist for five years. He had a patient come in who was 85 years old. Skinny little guy, could barely walk, wore hearing aids and thick glasses. The doc took him in the furthest exam room and I could still hear him yelling.

"I need some of that there Viagra. Got my eye on a thirty-something divorcee, and you know how they are," the guy says. I'm already snorting and giggling.

Doc says, "Sorry, no can do. You have to see your primary care doctor to clear you. I can't give you Viagra until he does that. You have a heart condition, John."

"Well, goddammit, he told me I had to see you to get it. Now you're telling me HE has to give it to me. In the meantime, I have my eye on this thirty-something divorcee. YOU KNOW HOW THEY ARE!"

I was rolling. That urge is the last to go, trust. Me.

Agent**It said...

@Squeezebox- tort reform goes way beyond malpractice. The cost to those who pay for their health insurance is where part of the savings will be. You misunderstood. And you are using a WH pr shill site to source.