Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Tom Cruise Is On A Kneepads Offensive

How can the world see you as warm and cuddly and totally ignore the fact that you are involved in a church that is frightening? You go to Kneepads and get a cover and tell your story and make all those people in the checkout stand think you are a wonderful guy. That is what Tom Cruise has done. He wants you to forget about all the bad things his church has done. He wants you to forget that Katie Holmes practically sprinted out the door when she had a chance and was forced to have a friend slip her a prepaid phone just so she could make some phone calls that would not be monitored and he would also like you to forget that he has not seen his child in almost two months. Instead, Kneepads has given you the warm and fuzzy Tom Cruise who one friend says has never had a conversation with Tom that was not interrupted by Suri calling. Huh. So, when Suri is in school she is calling? When she is asleep she is calling? Basically with a child her age you can eliminate about 16 hours a day that a child is in school or sleeping so this guy must have all of his conversations with Tom Cruise during those exact hours when Suri is awake and has access to a phone. A phone that is not monitored by the way. See, that is the thing about Tom's public relations. They go too far. They take a nice concept about having some random guy say that Tom gets phone calls from Suri all the time and then takes it too far to the extreme where it makes no sense.

They also claim that Suri was scheduled to fly to London to see Tom sometime in the middle of September but it was canceled. So, you were going to have a 6 year old fly from New York to London for the weekend? Don't you think the dad with the private jet and the ability to make his schedule flexible would do the flying to New York? Yeah, again, they try and make this all seem lovey dovey, but don't actually consider the details and how it all makes no sense.

69 comments:

goes in circles said...

Yeah, something is up with not seeing her since that Disney vacation.
It's true. My mom and my friends that don't read gossip sites or BI believe that Tom is a wonderful guy and will read Kneepads and believe that. Just like they believe John T. is straight and that Jessica lost 40 pounds.

libby said...

I hope this issue FAILS, maybe People will realize we see through their PR BS.

Seriously though, does anyone think that his creepy mug will sell many copies?
Is their demographic only people who don't use the internet, like the elderly?

Jemtastic said...

Has anyone in Scientology or on their payroll ever had a normal parent/child relationship? I can't believe that these people are so extra with their assertions: no conversation has occurred without being interrupted by Suri, wanting her fly to London when she just started a new school and is trying to settle in...these people are clowns.

MISCH said...

Not going to help him, and thats an awful cover shot. Tom looks really bad.

auntliddy said...

Really, what the hell is up with him? If he diesnt get away from this batshit mind control cult, he's gonna end like shelly. Vaporized.

libby said...

goes in circles...you just answered my question. They do exist, those who buy this CRAP.

surfer said...

Hahaha - I think you nailed it Libby, about their demographics.

Nutty_Flavor said...

I agree that the Tom machine goes too far and has no sense of subtlety. I also think the anti-Tom crowd is wildly over the top. The man is starring in a multi-million dollar movie - maybe he can't just take the weekend off to fly trans-Atlantic. Maybe his kid is just starting school and also should not be flying trans-Atlantic, which is exhausting. The anti-Tom hysteria is as annoying as the People Magazine sycophancy.

Salsa Lover said...

Tom Cruise: His Life with Xenu (better headline)

Barton Fink said...

That eyebrow line is a miracle of modern technology.

KLM said...

I love that he is biting his lip like a forlorn schoolgirl. Oh Tommygirl, life just hasn't been fair to you! You should go get a pedi and some hot cocoa! You'll feel better!

Robert said...

I always have thought, the Scientology thing completely to one side, that the guy's just a little loopy, that he doesn't exactly have both oars in the water.

Cee Kay said...

@Nutty - but there's just so much to despise about that little pipsqueak!

AKM said...

I wish I got the constant "Where's Shelly?" reference. I swear to God that I can't remember where it's from or how it originated, and it drives me batty.

lisa said...

what's the time zone difference between here and there? when she's awake, what time is it in London? I love the quote, "I've got to see her." "I miss her." hmmmm... rethinking that part of Scientology where others can't see their kids ever? Doubt he makes that connection.

Nutty_Flavor said...

6 hours time difference from US East Coast, 9 hours from the West Coast.

Nutty_Flavor said...

If Suri was in NYC, she would wake up around noon London time and go to bed around 2am London time.

Kendra Muenter said...

There is a window where he can call her before she goes to school where it would be lunchtime/early afternoon in the UK and then when she gets home from school where it would be 8/9pm in the UK.

I still scratch my head in amazement at how he is still relevant, he cannot act his way out of a paper bag, he is not attractive and he just gives off a whole creeper vibe before even going into the Scientology stuff.

And please if any of the Hollywood Scientologists had to follow the rules as the poor nobody Scientologists not one would be a member.

Salsa Lover said...

@AKM Do you mean that you don't know it is a reference to Shelly Miscavige of Scientology that hasn't been seen in years? Or that you aren't sure how it came about in the comments?

Agent**it said...

I asked Tony Ortega the best way to shoo away CO$ shills and he said to ask them "Where's Shelly?" Reference to Miscavage wife Shelly who has been not seen nor heard from in several years.

goes in circles said...

Libby,
I don't know if my mom and my gf's are in the demographic but they aren't very old (29-50s) and all use the internet.
Most of them grew up on HOT Top Gun heart throb Tom. And like I said they don't read gossip, nor do they know anything about Scientology. They think it's kooky but have no idea that it's a cult and dangerous. I imagine a lot of middle America is just like them. If all they see are scripted interviews and read people or in touch while standing in line at the market it is all they ever know.
smh
it's a sad world we live in.

AKM said...

Thank you, Agent**it. I don't delve too deeply into the crazy that is CoS; I've only read the basics.

Frufra said...

Barton Fink, get out of my head!

Nah, you can stay. Plenty of room.

But what about that mesh forehead insert, huh? LRC lookin' smooth as a baby's butt.

Sugar said...

What is Kneepads? Is it a reference to People magazine or a website? If it's People, why do y'all call it Kneepads? I wanna be cool and in the know like everyone else!

Sugar said...

What is Kneepads? Is it a reference to People magazine or a website? If it's People, why do y'all call it Kneepads? I wanna be cool and in the know like everyone else!

Sugar said...

I wanna know so bad I had to ask twice.

cc423 said...

Tom Cruise is no longer relevant. His ship has sailed but he thinks he is still on the shore. It's sad to watch him evaporate, but this is what happens when you sell your soul...

AKM said...

"Kneepads," because they're, well, on their knees...

Get it?

They kiss celeb ass and totally whitewash everything.

Remember when they had substance, though? Like twenty years ago? Back in the day, People was the shizz. So was Cosmo. Now they're just shells of their former selves. Sigh.

Connie151 said...

Does the article mention if his CO$ marriage recruiters have begun their Mrs. Cruise auditions yet?

katie said...

This is why I don't read People. Well this and their obsession with the K family.

M said...

Sugar, Here to help, Enty uses the term "kneepads" to refer to the manner in which People Magazine obtains the latest hotselling story & covershot. People Mag with all the blather your publicist has offered in exchange for a metaphorical BJ.

Sugar said...

Comprende, gracias!! PS That's what I thought.

Sugar said...

:-)

M said...

Back to WTF Tom Cruise. Think he has jumped the couch once again from all the pain of the constant surgical lifts, tucks, implants, botox AND lying claiming he has NEVER had any work done. The world's most natural looking 50 year old. For your viewing pleasure, check this photos of GMD before & after photos. http://chatterbusy.blogspot.com/2012/07/tom-cruise-plastic-surgery.html You have to scroll down a little to see his original moof (oof), that is a serious mess that required a lot of surgery of the jaw, implants, etc. He doesn't have a inch left on his face that hasn't been worked on. First browlift obviously took place when he was a teen. My father is an Orthodontist, when people admire my perfect smile, I have no issue with revealing that it is the result of 4 extractions, thank you Oral Surgeon; my own father's wizardry, gosh nothing like wearing headgear-it is so sexy, as well as a Periodontist Interventionist who bonded from the back the temporary perfection so it would remain in place without the dreaded night retainer. Dolly Parton once said something to the effect that it takes a lot of money to look cheap in her unique fashion. In Tommy Girl's case, it has taken a lot of money to create as well as maintain that dazzling smile/look. and seriously a lot of pain. Not that I am sympathetic, just disgusted that he lies about it, never thanks those who did the work & if they were fellow Cos members, didn't get paid either. Where's Shelly?

janele said...

Is this the best that Karen Pouw can do to improve the GMD's image?

If not Karen, then someone (probably Head Dwarf Miscavige himself) must've told him to get rid of his "I'm better than you" smirk.

When I see this cover, all I can think of is Tom saying "Please join my cult. Hundreds are leaving the Church and we can't recruit enough minions to sell Dianetics."

crila16 said...

The title should be "My life as a closeted gay man."

Come out of the closet Tom. You'll be a lot happier.

Nutty_Flavor said...

@Crilla, many, many Scientology defectors have confirmed that Cruise is controlling, hyperactive and not very bright, but all of them have said he was authenticly heterosexual. Yet you and a lot of other people believe he is gay. Why? I'd sincerely like to know.

As I've expressed before, I don't like the idea of Cruise being called gay as a form in insult.

PugsterMom said...

Why has there been no official police/FBI investigation into the missing Shelly?

auntliddy said...

I dont get the constant "he's gay " thing either. I guess they mean he isnt being honest, but I personally dont think anyone should have to say who they slept with last night. Would You want to? Its no bodys business! And I dont think he's gay either, but who cares. The mind control cult is the sad issue. We want Tom back!! raegular tom, not sci tom.
Where's Shelly refers to High ranking cos "s wife who went off the reservation and hasnt been seen in 3 years!!!! And they keep saying, she's fine,she's in Batashitlovia or something, but they can never produce her. The thinking is she prob died in one of their cos punishments.

AKM said...

I've never thought he was gay, either. Nutty_Flavor's explanation of him from ex-CoSers seems to be right on the money to me.

M said...

The GMD, oh, the truth is out there regarding his sexuality. Exhibit A, marriage #1 to fellow Cos Member Mimi Rogers. When it ended, she gave WTF interviews that while carefully worded stated that Tom was like a monk, who did not like to play his instrument. Translation, Tom was not interested in having sex with her, monks don't have sex with women. Maybe she thought it would make people think he was merely asexual, but I caught the shade she was throwing. Exhibit B, marriage #2 to non Cos Nicole Kidman, does anyone believe now that was all about hot sexy romps? Enty has already revealed it was about PR image & mind control & when it was over formerly renamed Nic (Tom changes your name, too)was such a mess that she still has not recovered. A Stepford wife robot forever damaged. Exhibit C, marriage #3 to Katie Holmes, renamed Kate, uh think that was yet another hot sexy roll in the hay every time he wasn't auditing or having more plastic surgery or filming his next movie? Exhibit D, where's Shelly? Oddly convenient that GMD's bromance with fellow Cos Leader David Miscaviage is no longer interrupted by the existence of David's missing wife. Those crazy tapes of the 2 of them, Tom & David screaming at the masses about the purity of the cult are 2 lovers watching each other's backs. They be totally into themselves. Together, that is a real bromance going on without Shely between David & Tommy.

Nellie said...

People magazine is called kneepads. Because they wear knee pads for all the butt kissing and d@ck sucking they do during interviews. They never ask hard questions and sell things they know are lies to the public.

PugsterMom said...

Mimi introduced Tom to Scientology.

Different Guest said...

Pugstermom, it is dicey for law enforcement to get involved with a "missing person" case because adults are allowed to disappear. They have to have some indication of foul play.

There have been rumors that LRC got his start in Hollyweird as a rent boy and that he contracted an STD didn't treat it and became sterile. Nicole Kidman had a miscarriage just after he dropped the divorce bomb on her and that was rumored to be the reason. Same with rumors about he's not Suri's biological father.

pilly said...

He's Gay! It was on South Park so you KNOW it's true

When was the last time you watched a heterosexual male jump on Oprahs couch? When?!?!?

pilly said...

Sorry
I meant vertically challenged heterosexual male

Nutty_Flavor said...

Not seeing any convincing evidence of Cruise being homosexual here. His ex-wife said he was a bad lay, his second ex-wife didn't produce any children, and his third ex-wife looked dissatisfied. He's a very good friend of a very creepy guy. And somebody heard some rumors from somebody about rent boys and STDs. Not really an open-and-shut case.

There are plenty of closet cases in Hollywood - Travolta comes to mind - but I don't believe Cruise is one of them.

timebob said...

unless he does an interview with Martin Bashir or Tony Ortega and nothing is off limits, it is all "bullshit who cares" PR machine at work.

M said...

NuttyFlavor,are you GMD's PR rep or something? You keep coming on & on saying I don't see any evidence, what would convince you?
Once again, Mimi Rogers did NOT say he was a bad lay, she said he had no interest in sex AT ALL. At least with women. "She was brutally frank when, in 1993, Playboy magazine asked if she was the one who ended the marriage. "Is that the story, that I was bored with that child and threw him over, chewed him up and spat him out?" she shot back, angrily. "Well, here's the real story. Tom was seriously thinking of becoming a monk. At least for that period of time, it looked as though marriage wouldn't fit into his overall spiritual need. And he thought he had to be celibate to maintain the purity of his instrument." Drily, she added: "My instrument needed tuning." He is not interested in sex with women.
She did NOT say he was a BAD LAY, she said he was a NO LAY. Stop trolling for GMD.

Nellie said...

I buy him as asexual and severely sexually repressed.

auntliddy said...

mimi later said that it was a joke, she didnt mean it at all.

ac said...

i can't believe it but Enty called it a few weeks ago. I gotta give you props. (bows deeply and offers a plate of bacon)

astrogirl said...

This is the excerpt from a 2002 list called the A List. Some of you may of heard of it, it's been around for years, in different forms.

Cruise, Tom. Oh, definitely not a Friend Of Dorothy. Why would you ever think such a thing? No, certainly not. And he definitely doesn't force his gay lovers to sign lengthy non-disclosure contracts before he gets involved with them; that's just a vile, untrue rumor started to bring shame on this quite emphatically heterosexual movie star. Certainly not someone who has and enjoys sex with lots of men. $cientologist. Vain & arrogant. Never graduated from high school. Acted badly towards Nicole Kidman during their break-up, which was caused partially by his insistence on raising the kids $cientologist (she wanted them raised Catholic) and partially because of her pregnancy, which may have been his and may have been Ewan McGregor's. Broke up with Nicole via his representatives. (Cruise, you swine.) Linked with Patricia Arquette, Cher, Penelope Cruz, Rebecca DeMornay, Nelly Furtado, Nicole Kidman, Heather Locklear, Paul Newman, Lisa Marie Presley, and Mimi Rogers.

astrogirl said...

An interview with Tony Ortega I would gladly pay to read or watch timebob. :)

M said...

auntliddy, Mimi is a Scientologist, so rather than scrub toilets with a tooth brush in a dark hole, she was ordered to later say, gosh, I was just kidding when I said the now very Rich & Powerful Co-Leader of Cos is not sexually interested in women. Does the original quote sound like a light hearted joke or a truth be told by someone who was tired of being cast as the villian to advance the career of her ex? What choice did she have? Where's Shelly? Think Mimi wanted to be among the missing?

M said...

Also, please remember T. Cruise lies all the time. He is an actor, not a non fiction investigative journalist. His claim that he has never had any work done, did you look at the before & after photos from his teen years? The world's most natural looking 50 year old. For your viewing pleasure, check this photos of GMD before & after photos. http://chatterbusy.blogspot.com/2012/07/tom-cruise-plastic-surgery.html You have to scroll down a little to see his original moof (oof), that is a serious mess that required a lot of surgery of the jaw, implants, etc. He doesn't have a inch left on his face that hasn't been worked on. No matter what he says, the photos tell the story.

Olive said...

Yikes! Tom has never been attractive to me but I almost gasped when I saw this cover. That is one scary cover.

astrogirl said...

The only CoS that I've read about recently, backs up the fake wife story.

http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2012/10/katie-holmes-divorce-scientology

astrogirl said...

Meant to say the only Scientologist

Pookie said...

i don't give a damn about tom, it's suri that breaks my heart. while i believe katie did the right thing in uprooting her to the east coast, there are bound to be feelings of abandonment somewhere in there. it's a great thing children are so resilient, and that precious little girl is most likely adapting to new milestones...an entirely different environment and home, starting school, single parent...so on and so on. if tc is phasing himself out as per xenu's orders, then good. all the less cluttered a road for katie to be open to new (and real) relationships and possibly a new man who'll love that little girl as his own.

in the meantime tho, i'm sure that martyr card tc's playing has got to be annoying as hell. #staystrongkatie

M said...

Pookie, other sites are calling him out on this BS story, asking why he can't arrange his busy work schedule to spend time with his daughter if he loves her as much he loves Disney photo ops...http://www.celebitchy.com/253831/tom_cruise_is_so_lonely_miserable_on_the_cover_of_people_are_you_buying_it/
"Again, Tom can always find a few days to hop his happy CO$ ass on a plane and see his kid. It doesn’t need to be some protracted extravaganza where he waves at the paps, flies Suri to Cinderella’s castle suite, and invites a tabloid reporter along for the ride. But I guess that’s the only way Tom is willing to be a father to Suri. He just doesn’t get it, you know? Even after Katie left him, he still doesn’t get that his absence (away for months at a time and only swooping in for a pre-premiere weekend set of photo ops) could be part of the problem. Like I’ve said before, Tom wasn’t around for Suri while he and Katie were married, so there’s no reason for him to understand how important it is to be physically present for Suri now. As for this pity party for Tom, I don’t buy it at all. If he wanted to see Suri, he’d find a way to fly and see her no matter what. Instead, Tom’s only on pre-production duties for this latest movie (the camera’s aren’t even rolling yet!), and he’s still dragging his lift-adorned feet. Poor little Tom." Run Katie run, grab Suri & kick Tom to the curb, do it because you love her. Katie has made the right choice, just wish the paps would leave them alone. Has to be scary to be stalked not just by Cos, but also by blinding flash bulbs.

misspoppypants said...

There's no way parents who have a daughter who is so afraid and terrorized by the paps that she either refuses or they won't let her walk in public---most always they carry her---are going to let her fly commercial airlines...and are they saying without one of them going with her? BS. Not buying that as a plan ever.

misspoppypants said...

There's no way parents who have a daughter who is so afraid and terrorized by the paps that she either refuses or they won't let her walk in public---most always they carry her---are going to let her fly commercial airlines...and are they saying without one of them going with her? BS. Not buying that as a plan ever.

car54 said...

from what I've read, this isn't that different from what happened pre-divorce--he was always off filming something--so he didn't see Suri that much--so it probably isn't much different for her.

MadLyb said...

Dear Tom and People Magazine, in the words of Ann Romney, "Stop it!"

NYCGirl said...

Oh, gag.

Me said...

here's a phone call with a 6 year old;
adult: hi sweetie! how are you?
child: good. i got a new toy
adult: you did!? tell me about it.
child; my head itches. maybe i got bite by a bee.
adult: oh i hope not. did your mommy look at it?
child: i'm hungry/tired/bored
adult: you are? well i'm sorry to hear that
(dial tone)
adult; hello?

CarmeliteLady said...

"His Life Alone". Awww poor pathetic super wealthy tiny tommy boy has chosen to deny his sexuality, family, spouses, sanity and common sense by giving his whole life and power over his mind to an abusive psychotic cult. Now I'm supposed to feel sorry for him. "His life alone".... sniff sniff wahhhh. What about all of his money and success? Where is it now? All that adulation? No one cares, he's a cult member, who uses slave cult labor. What about all the slaves working for him? Dont' they feel alone and scared? Or how about the people that are digging ditches in the desert or locked in storage containers in 100 degree weather dying of heatstroke, because of a minor infraction like not making eye contact with their cult leader? Tommy boy is a psychopath if he thinks that his life is the only life that matters and he's lonely now. He doesn't give a shit about human beings, he doesn't even see himself as human, he's supposed to be linked up with aliens, Xenu, the cult. Maybe he can order one of the slave girls to sleep next to him. The thing is he doesn't like girls, he just likes the slave boys. I bet he'd love that, but he is too pure to get in to his homosexuality so therefore he has to just be alone and go along with what the cult says is ok. Nevermind that he's completely closeted and devoted to a cult, that's where the problem is. It's your religion or your sexuality. Choose. He chose his religion and now he's lonely because it prohibits him from normal interpersonal and sexual interaction. If the cult of scientology is supposed to be so perfect, heal everything in everyone that applies themselves then why are they unhappy? Tom's miserable and lonely. Travolta's miserable and getting back room homosexual prostitutes to service him, and Kirstie Alley can't keep the weight off, Lisa Maria couldn't quit drinking either. So how exactly is this cults magical powers helping all of it's devotees? It's just making them more and more miserable and making them get deeper and deeper in to their own personal hells and addictions. Die Scientology. Die. David Miscavige? Tyrannical Psychopath that is on par with Charles Manson, torturing, imprisoning, beating, manipulating, controlling peoples lives, holding children and spouses hostage, ending marriages, breaking paternal and maternal bonds? Die Scientology DIE.

M said...

CarmeliteLady, you go girl.Sign & cosign. Word to power. Where is Shelly? Also am starting my own blog for those who requested I do so as FormerCriminalProsecutor
http://formercriminalprosecutor.blogspot.com/?zx=f6cff28ad75ccdbd
Should work, be open, if not let me know at wakondapair@hotmail.com ;M