Sunday, February 23, 2014

Blind Items Revealed

November 30, 2013

This Academy Award winner and B+/A- list actress that everyone loves to hate has an expression for when a guy has serviced her orally. She refers to it as taking the E train because she only likes to do it when she is riding and says Eeeee a whole lot. She also uses it as a rating system and says her husband is EEEE. The A+ list mostly movie actor she used to date only got one E. Apparently he was not a fan of it.

Gwyneth Paltrow/Chris Martin/Ben Affleck

49 comments:

Cleodacat said...

I imagine it was bland and flappy.

sandybrook said...

I just finished lunch. :( So when she is laying flat on her back and getting serviced she doesn't say EEEEE??

Dexamyl said...

Exactly the group I pictured. I'm not surprised Chris Martin is better in bed than Ben but how does he keep from laughing when she squeals "Eeeeee!"

LottaColada said...

Mascot Ben

Leekalicious said...

When Chris sits on her face, he calls it the STFU train! (Sorry, I don't like Gwyneth very much)

Derek Harvey said...

um what is "riding"? I dont understand this one.

Blondie! said...

What is she riding? A broom? A pony? A bike? An exersize machine? What?

Jennabean said...

@ Derrick I believe he means she was sitting on his face

Lady Heisenberg said...

Enty's saying that Goop is a face-sitter. This reminds me of the "mustache ride" scene in Super Troopers, only much grosser. Well, now we know why Goop said Affleck was the worst!

It's all BS said...

I bet she smells bad down there

Derek Harvey said...

oh kk lol
EEEEEEEE

Blondie! said...

As Monty Python once said, " Sit on my face and tell me that you love me! Sit on my face and tell me that you care! When we're 69 it's just divine...."
Sad that I remember this song.

SingBlue said...

Come on Blondie, the rest of it... "I love to hear you oralise, when I'm between your thighs, you blow me awaaaaaaayyyyy!"

Blondie! said...

@SingBlue....All together now!

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too
I love to hear you oralize
When I'm between your thighs
You blow me away

Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you
I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly
Life can be fine if we both sixty nine
If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places
And play till we're blown away



Seachica said...

No, I'm sure Gwyneth smells fine. After all, she uses a special douche made from the bathwater of 2-day old babies collected only during snowfalls in a remote corner of Tibet.

OneEyeCharlie said...

I give. Nothing I considered saying ended up sounding even remotely civilized in my head. Especially with a mixed audience.

Count Jerkula said...

Affleck being too consumed with himself to give any effort while munchin box is not surprising.

Goop loves over paying for stuff. $1000 and I guarantee her a 5E experience, with as many Os as she can get in an hour. It would be 100% Natural Cunnilingus, with no mechanical additives or artificial flavoring. The tongue will have been NYC born, then farm raised on the outskirts of NJ's famed Pine Barrens. If the "EEEEEEEEE" noise gets too annoying, I reserve the right to stuff her panties in her mouth to shut her up.

Count Jerkula said...

@Its all BS: Nah, I bet she is the type who scrubs herself raw w/ a toothbrush trying to get clean.

sugarbread maker said...

ben was trying to shake her for years. he was probably phoning it in on purpose just to get her to dump him.

TalksTooMuch said...

Super Troopers was AWESOME

Brenda L said...

Some how I hear "EEEEEE" being screeched much in the way a chimpanzee would scream it.

Renoblondee said...

LOL Y'all.

Jason Blue Eyes said...

How many E's does Harvey W. get?

Blondie! said...

I think they only way you could have sex with Harvey W is to be on top, any other position automatically becomes a health hazard.

LowKey said...

C'mon, Charlie, don't get shy on us now..,

Sherry said...

Blondie I just fell in love with you. That is awesome hearing the words to that MP song.

Men, we don't have to say it, but we'll get clean if you'll be dirty!

Blondie! said...

Awww Sherry, thank you! I love you too...just not in that MP way!

I grew up watching/reading/listening to MP.

In college I used to sing the Lumberjack song walking across campus.

Just the other day I burst into the Philospher's Song at Starbucks.

"Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table...."

I also know Eric The Half A Bee song!


Seven of Eleven said...

LOL @ Count's natural-born tongue! Perfect PR to catch Goop's eye!

Lee said...

As a woman in her late 50s, it cracks me up that it's still a big deal to give or ask for oral sex (especially from a regular partner). Back in the 70's it was kind of a given (or was I warped from being raised in Manhattan, which then was promiscuity playland?) Yikes, people, obviously what you do is your choice and business, but I thought we had gotten a bit more sophisticated these days.

auntliddy said...

Awesome sea, awesome!!!!!!

auntliddy said...

Hubby and I still do the ," no one expects the spanish inquisition" when we hear a knock, lol. Also," whats on the telly tonight?" " looks like a penguin". It is a bit sad, lol

Blondie! said...

It's got property of the zoo stamped on it!

Cary Gaul said...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Chief2224 said...

Leave it to Goop to make cunnilingus completely un-sexy.

Henriette said...

Actually, Goop smells. She does not use deodorant and has messed up quite a few designer dresses with her B.O. One designer complained about her and her hairy bush. I can see why Ben was not into her sitting on his face.

Diane Marie said...

riding what?

Miss Kitty said...

I have a rating system of my own. It's called "eeek". The more "eeeeee's" in it the nastier you look when I imagine you nekkid.
Gwhineyth is an "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek"

Kimba said...

What's worse EEEs or the giggles? I get the gigs - a few past people were "would you please stop laughing?" - once they know what to expect, it becomes funny - it can't be helped, it's like a tickle!

MadLyb said...

This is what I picture:

http://youtu.be/ap-BcRv1LXw

Perhaps Ben just didn't want GOOP sitting on his pretty face.

MadLyb said...

Oh crap, I forgot to make that clickable.

MadLyb said...

Eeee

rikkitikkitavi said...

did enty mean rolling like on e, like popping molly? or riding his face? either way for some reason thinking of goop and oral sex is a turn off

di butler said...

I'd need more than E to go down on The Goops. Maybe a shotgun and a IV drip of ketamine. Now all I'm gonna picture is her doing the chimp scream, good work, all. :D:D:D:D

di butler said...

Oh, and the obligatory..."What's in the boxxxxxx?"

Best.Movie.Scene.Ever.

Aoife said...

Something else I would've been very happy not knowing. Just imagining the visual...

PotPourri said...

one more reason to love Ben.

sugarbread maker said...

she is full bush. prob very stinky. cant blame ben for mailing it in. lower e not E for ben

gr8p said...

*smh* The E train. *eye roll* She is so fucking stupid.

crila16 said...

I was actually thinking...EWWWWWW. She's just gross to me.