Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Katy Perry And John Mayer Split Again - It's The Miley Curse

When they first started dating, John Mayer and Katy Perry split frequently. She would find out about some other person he was having sex with or some other fetish he just had to try with Katy or had previously tried which made Katy squeamish. With most of those finally discussed and worked through you would think the couple would be able to get through almost anything because, lets face it, John Mayer's list is way longer than most people. What their relationship didn't foresee is Miley Cyrus. Miley is two for two this week in splitting up people who have had the misfortune of rubbing against her. She twerked her way to a Robin Thicke split and kissed her way to a Katy Perry split. How many other relationships have suffered along the way that we don't know anything about. Is it any wonder that her parents are constantly splitting? Miley kisses one hello and boom the marriage is over. Her brother? His relationship starts and stops more than Lindsay Lohan casing a jewelry store. Her older sister? I think she gave up on a relationship after Miley kept hugging her all the time. Those poor little people on her tour are probably relationship cursed at this point. The only cure is a year off from Miley. Once she touches you it wears off after about a year.

56 comments:

cubsfan1990 said...

Wtf is this story entry

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

Ah, so it's Miley's fault, not because Pooper Cooper is a loser. Got it, Enty.

sandybrook said...

So you are saying HE broke up with HER? I think not.

Lord Disick said...

Khloe can twerk!

Renoblondee said...

Uh okay. Lol

KhloeK said...

I'm twerkin now!

###########

Leekalicious said...

I think we all know someone like Miley - there's one in every school/town. The person has the need to be the constant focus of attention (especially male - long enough to cause problems in the relationship) and the BFF of every female (for about 2 minutes).

KhloeK said...

I think it's Miley's fault my parents separated.

__-__=__ said...

Still can't believe any female would be seen in public with Mayer.

FSP said...

Is that Katy Perry or Paula Deen?

Charis said...

Velvet!

TalksTooMuch said...

Wow. I admire your dedication in shoe-horning Robin Thicke into a story about John Mayer but hasn't Mayer kissed literally EVERYONE?? Including Perez Hilton?

Karen said...

Sure, it's because of Miley and not John Mayer's wandering peen.

KhloeK said...

Shake ya firecrackers girl!

Leekalicious said...

Morning TTM!

hollywood dime said...

This just gave me a headache. Way to stick to the topic!

Lord Disick said...

I knew you would be shakin that ass Khloe

TalksTooMuch said...

Morning Leek!

Henriette said...

They were both so perfect for each other and could keep their STDs amongst themselves. She's dumb and ignorant and he is too. It's sad when a perfect couple breaks up.

laura ramona said...

Loool

laura ramona said...

Took me 5 min to stop laughing imagining miley twerking on Bruce while Bruce is checking his helicopter s baterries

fancyscreenname said...

I am disgusted with myself for encouraging your tomfoolery khloek. BUT that was my first hearty guffaw of the morn.

audrey said...

Yeah, let's blame everything wrong in the world today on Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber.

Henriette said...

Maybe she finally got tired of him shitting on her? Or does he like the woman to shit on him? I can never remember his scat kink properly.

Eros said...

Not a miley lover, are you enty? I know youre only joking so I wont lambast you too much over this. Both of those relationships were doomed from the start, especially the mayer/perry one. Mayer reminds me of some of my college chums/bfs. Hes extremely smart, fluent in Chinese I think and thats a difficult language to learn. Hes extremely talented musically but sometimes I think he struggles to find his niche...that gravity song is where he belongs but sometimes he gravitates to the pop crap and his voice and acumen as a guitarist are underwhelmed and undermined in that genre. Anyways I digress lol.. Hes also really really cute imo. This is all to say he probably has extremely high standards. Im sure after the gratification of kstys awesome tits wore off he realized holy fucktard this chick is boring me to peaces because he wanted to intellectually commisserate with an eccentric, deep thinkinking individual. I love myself some katy perry but thats not her. I think Jennifer anniston would have made a bettrr intellectual pairing with john.

Candyland said...

Not surprised. When they were on one of those morning shows, they were very awkward and uncomfortable together. Not the chemistry you'd expect out of a couple where everything is perfect.

Kels said...

Right on this is exactly how I feel about John. Gravity is the best.

Michael H said...

This is the guy with the bubble-gum tongue song to bang high school girls,(who cornholed TS) who was going out with whipped-cream tits, and you are blaming the chipmunk for them breaking up, do I have that right?

Kimba said...

Never thought their relationship of nothing more than a PR stunt with guaranteed fun times. They can write achy breaky songs and get all that extra built in press. Boring.
@eros, some points, I agree - he's a great guitarist overlooked by some, and he can look hot, when clean.

Katie's has the best boobies, (and TTM), he can't have possibly grown bored already with those beauties!
Agreed' with the Wizard, it's Miley ya'll.

Alexis said...

What did I just read? Good medicinal marijuana is my takeaway, lol

crila16 said...

Miley has the Paris curse now. Miley destroys relationships, Paris destroyed careers.

I think Miley and Mayer would be the perfect relationship. Mayer is a disgusting pervert who likes to experiment...and Miley seems like she'd be up for anything.

TalksTooMuch said...

The world just fell into the ocean, I agree with you Eros. I knew a ton of guys like this. So smart, so musically talented, but complete dbags when it comes to women, only pick the dumb ones then piss and moan about being under-stimulated intellectually.

Leekalicious said...

I was just thinking about the skit (SNL or Mad TV) about John Mayer trying to talk to Jessica Simpson about songwriting.

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

HA! @TTM said "piss" when talking about Mayer. I'll go stand in the corner now.

SingBlue said...

So Entward:
"The only cure is a year off from Miley"

Does that mean we have a Miley-free 12 months to look forward to? Don't wanna go risking the relationship with your readers now would ya?

Thought not.

TalksTooMuch said...

I know he's really more of a pooper, Kristin, work with me!

Leek, I thought of the SAME thing!

laura ramona said...

You might be right. mayor needed a fresh clean up image. A shower with Katie.

Eros said...

Kels we may be sisters from another mother girly! You have a rebellious spirit like me I think. Hehe! :) gravity is one of my favorite songs and the live version he did with john legend andcorinne bailey rae is just pure bliss. When he does his guitar solo omygoodness. Thats all I can say about that. I like that slow dancing in a burning room song too a bit. He could be a damned legend but he needs to center himself as a musician and stop hopscotch ing with the genres. I understand the need to be innovative and reinvent yourself as an artist but dammit when you've found a goldmine you need to stay put. Sorry fir my ramble. Lol

Have you ever listened to stevie ray Vaughn's little wing? Thats a master piece. John has that potential and his voice is like an angel. Hopefully he will get a clue and keep making music like gravity.

TalksTooMuch said...

I will say I don't think Katy Perry is as dumb as some of her music, she was really interesting and fun back in the beginning, used to express an actual opinion and seemed to have a really great personality. Then came the California Girls record and I think she got pigeon-holed

Leekalicious said...

@Eros Love Little Wing. John is a superior guitarist, but like TTM says, lacks some social skills.

headrot said...

morning, ya'll

Kels said...

Hey Eros! I love John! Kinda mad he doesn't like black girls but I'll let him go for that cause I am just NOT down with those fetishes lol I love his CD's Heavier Things and Continuum. These albums are the real John I believe and he should stick to these kinds of songs. Like why is he trying to be so...soft now? So lovey dovey? His roots are the blues and they don't call them that for nothing.

I haven't listened to stevie ray but I do know he's a huge influence on John so I wanna check it out.

Leekalicious said...

Hihi Headdie!!!

Eros said...

@Ttm yep totally agree. Hes a total dbag. I somehow understand him though. Complete narcissist I think but he probably started off as a pretty decent guy (or so I'd like to think.) And maybe all of it just got to his head and brought out the douch characteristics. I hope its a phase he will grow out of some day.

Kels said...

I have Katy Perry boobs and I would just stop talking to someone if they just stuck around for my chest. But then again I'd be "intellectually simulating" enough to not worry. But I have always feelt like talking to Katy about religion would be interesting.

Eros said...

@ Kels Yep love the heavier things cd and yes we need to have a conversation with him about not sticking to blues lol.. Its such wasted talent if he doesn't exemplify it in the right song. One of my college gfs knew I loved jimi hendrix that one day she hands me this cd and said you gotta check this out. Its stevie ray vaughn doing little wing better than hendrix. She was right! Great musical finds is what makes life worth living, right?! ;)

Its just U said...

Ouch!! My eyes hurt from rolling them so hard.
This post has given me a migraine.

Eros said...

@ Kimba yep, I think you aded some key descriptors: hes a hottie when he cleans up. Most def.

Eros said...

I sort of think he will be one of those dudes who will never get married because he has impossible expectations when it comes to women.. oh yeah and he doesn't respect womenas per the bis.

Eros said...

@Kels Katy perry boobs comment...You do know at this point Count Jerkula and/or Harry Knuckles will interject with some blunt pointed response to your boob revelation, right. Lol

BaronessOrczy said...

This just adds to the Miley gravy train. I'm convinced her whole persona was the result of some corporate brainstorming session.

parissucksliterally said...

She is a no talent hack, and he is a fucking douchebag.


No cares here.

Turkish Taffy said...

Don't blame Miley. I don't know anything about KP's music, but she is a cutie-pie. Pretty thing like her can do better than douchebag John Meyer. His music is good, but I can't stand imagining his big lollypop head with a Dirty Sanchez on his face every time I hear his songs!

Seven of Eleven said...

LOL @ IJU! That sums it up perfectly!

Jade, That Girl said...

Saracasm doesn't read well on the internets, does it?

Renoblondee said...

@Paris You know I love you more than my luggage, but Katy IS talented. She writes almost all her own HIT songs.