Monday, March 17, 2014

A To D List - Where They Rank- Part Five

Hilary Swank- B list mostly movie actress who hasn’t worked as much since Jessica Chastain showed up. Wins 2nd place behind Anne Hathaway in actress people don’t like much.
Howard Stern – A list talk show host who can get people to say anything.
Hugh Grant- Foreign born A list mostly movie actor who must literally have his peen out 24/7.
Idris Elba- B list television and movie actor who is one of the most underrated acting talents of this generation.
Jack Nicholson- Aging permanent A list mostly movie actor who is an Academy Award winner and has probably had sex with every actress older than 50.
Jaclyn Smith- Former A list mostly television actress who has been collecting checks from this discount department store forever.
Jaden Smith- B list mostly movie actor offspring who might want to wait awhile before releasing his next bomb.
Jake Gyllenhaal- A- list mostly movie actor who keeps making indies and posing with women on the sidewalks of NYC.
James Franco- A- list mostly movie actor who got his start on a great network television show that spawned lots of great actors.
James McAvoy – Foreign born mostly movie actor who has a franchise to his name and a name that gets confused with someone who dated Jennifer Love Hewitt.
James Spader – A- list mostly television actor who made his fame in the movies and will always be hated by those of a certain age who saw him play the bad guy in those teen movies.
Janet Jackson – Former A+ list entertainer(singer) who has dropped to B+ but is still considered the normal one in the family.
January Jones – B+ list mostly television actress from a hit cable show who will sleep with you if you are married.
Jared Leto- B- list mostly movie actor who got his start on a great network show that no one remembers. Might be more known for being an entertainer.
Jason Bateman – A- list mostly movie actor who alternates between some bad movie choices and one of the greatest television choices ever.
Jason Statham – Foreign born mostly movie actor who can star in an action movie opposite any of the world’s worst actresses.
Jason Sudeikis- B list mostly movie actor who got his start on a long running network show that his uncle excelled on when visiting.
Javier Bardem – Foreign born A list mostly movie actor married to an almost A list mostly movie actress who should be my sister-in-law.
Jen Aniston – A list mostly movie actress who was also an A list television actress despite having no acting talent.
Jennifer Connelly – B+ list mostly movie actress who is a great acting talent and a very unpleasant person to spend more than five minutes with.
Jennifer Lawrence – A list mostly movie actress who has a balance problem.
Jennifer Lopez – A list diva and not much else although she tries at literally everything.
Jerry Bruckheimer- A list producer who makes great movies and television.
Jessica Alba – Very attractive B list mostly movie actress who keeps getting movies despite no actual acting talent. Has a fallback career that specializes in keeping you on a mailing list forever.
Jessica Biel – B- list mostly movie actress who finally appears to be giving up on the dream of acting and is content to sit at home Tweeting that she was next to her husband.

51 comments:

Count Jerkula said...

Howard Stern is not A-List. His reach diminishes constantly and his last Letterman appearance was the first that couldn't push Dave over Leno in the ratings for the evening.

Former A-List Radio Host/Current B-List Reality Judge.

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

Anyone see the Biel/Timberlake blind on Lainey?

QueenAnne Guido said...

I spit up my tea when I read that Janet Jackson was the normal one in the family. Secret wedding. Freaky times with DL lurving Dupri.... I must have different threshold for normal.

Ray Nicolet said...

#watchoutfortheHowardstans

D Brown said...

Are we starting a new list for all people on the list who are not actually rated (i.e. McAvoy, Statham)? This is going to get confusing!

msgirl said...

Idris is B but Jake is A? Jake can't open a move anymore, but throngs of women will go see an Indirs one, and I bet many men would because his acting is so excellent.

Just one example.

FrenchGirl said...

Jennifer Connelly is unpleasant?! in wat world???
why has Statham or McAvoy no rate?

Marty McFly said...

I hope someone is doing something with these lists...


I'll prob be one of the whiners later that wonders but is too lazy to look things up!

KevinA said...

And yet, in Nov., J-Law's "A-/B+?" That said, "...with a balance problem" made me chuckle.

Marty McFly said...

And @Count? I totally +1 that. He was A list to my Dad when his New Year's Eve special came on PPV. Then again when he pulled the Sirus gig. But boring, pretentious Stern with that good looking horse on his arm? No better then the sand settler (aka washed up) Andrew Dice Clay.

Kno Won Uno said...

I dunno, Enty. I guess I'll take your word for who can open a movie on their own. Whether or not I'd buy a ticket is hardly relevant. Interesting stuff that proves I live in an alternate dimension.

Rosemary Young said...

Jared Leto has an Oscar now. Update your silly list. Better yet, forget this celebrity Dewey Decimal System and give us some real news.

Veech said...

Is someone making a spreadsheet?

Count Jerkula said...

@Marty: Exactly. That is why I laugh when people say he could go back to terrestrial radio if he leaves Sirius. NO WAY would he go back to having ratings. It would damage his ego too much and open him up to ridicule.

If he left Sirius, I could see him putting up a streaming archive, like what WWE did, and having specials and maybe a stripped down weekly show. I would pay $5/month for unlimited access to his catalog of shows, as long as the content wasn't edited to fit his current "evolved" image.

Loved New Years Rotten Eve. I think Elena Beisty and Debbie Tay the Space Lesbian are both dead.

Renoblondee said...

What is it Jen can't balance? Drugs?

discoflux said...

Speak for yourself, Enty, but I LOVE James Spader because of the assholes he's played since the 80s.

discoflux said...

I think the reference to JLaw's balance is a joke regarding her knack for falling at awards shows.

Renoblondee said...

@disco Oh, duh! Thanks!

TalksTooMuch said...

I'm tired just LOOKING at it!

s.breezy29 said...

I'd say Leto is an A after getting the Oscar! B is def wrong!

msgirl said...

All Idris fans need to also watch Luther.

Sherry said...

Hey you we asked for it! Of course we'd all have our own ratings but we'll have to be content with Enty's own brand of ratings. mmmm...tasty to some but not to others.

Since I never get any blinds right it doesn't matter to me but I do want Kristin and VIP and Derek and the other top guessers to be happy!

Seriously hoping someone will create a spreadsheet like before. I fear it will still be confusing.

Bunni said...

Agreed about Elba & Bateman. Who's Jason Sudeikas' uncle?

Liz L said...

I made a Word Document. Is that bad?

Liz L said...

It's Norm from Cheers, Bunni.

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

Sherry! Hey Girl Hey!!!

N. Twinkie said...

Jennifer Garner?

Kloie said...

How is Hugh Grant A? He's more like formerly A, but now C.

putchka said...

Is Enty doing crack or something lately? He's been very prolific. I love James Spader and Howard Stern. Spader is the best bad guy!

Erik said...

"Jennifer Connelly – B+ list mostly movie actress who is a great acting talent and a very unpleasant person to spend more than five minutes with."

:-(

Kimba said...

Ummm, so who's gonna pop this into a matrix?

fireflies said...

Sudeikis' uncle is George Wendt.

0_0 said...

Oscar wins do not A-List make.

Count Jerkula said...

I agree 0-0. Especially Supporting Oscars.

redronnie said...

Jennifer Aniston can act - to the same degree Enty can write witty commentaries..take a pill Enty you've become a bitch without the humour

WareCat said...

Tha fuck is this, yo?
I put Jeffree Star
& I dnt see this cunt.


#pinkknife
#dntfixmejustjudgeme
#letshaveasexyparty

Sherry said...

I couldn't begin to get that matrix correct. Didn't JSierra have one before?

Liz L...If indeed you have been so kind to put this in some order that's a start. Do you want to do one? Can you do a Google Doc?

I vote for TTM to do it if you don't Liz. You're here TTM, you're invested. How about it babay?

Hey Kristin! Girl Hey! LOL. You make me feel wanted.

Sherry said...

I couldn't begin to get that matrix correct. Didn't JSierra have one before?

Liz L...If indeed you have been so kind to put this in some order that's a start. Do you want to do one? Can you do a Google Doc?

I vote for TTM to do it if you don't Liz. You're here TTM, you're invested. How about it babay?

Hey Kristin! Girl Hey! LOL. You make me feel wanted.

Seven of Eleven said...

@Ray, did you plural that? I thought there was just the one...

Lila said...

This is effed up. According to this list, Jessica Biel and Alba are higer rated than Jared Leto... AN OSCAR WINNER? I don't think so!

Lila said...

And Jason Sudeikis rated higher than Leto? What bull.

Unknown said...

its called SUBJECTIVE. it would be impossible to be OBJECTIVE in this list- everyone has their own ranking of people- we experience things in a different way/time/etc..

be happy there is even a list!! this is insight to what enty is rating (and is SUBJECTIVE)... has anyone taken a critical thinking course!?

iknowpeople said...

@ Bunni, George Wendt.

Bubbles said...

Kloie, I was wondering the same thing. Is Enty best friends with Hugh Grant or something because how does he compare to a George Clooney or Brad Pitt? Is he making mega block buster that just aren't showing up on my radar or what?

Sometimes I wonder if Enty's insistence that Hugh Grant is A list when everyone knows otherwise is a clue into who Enty actually is?

Steampunk Jazz said...

At s.breezy, A for a hot minute but figure the odds of leto being able to pick a script/part like that again!

Alita said...

Hehe @7

B626 said...

Yes He's on vacation soo much now he's losing his base audience. His watered down 'Howardness' on network TV isnt exactly impressing those that are tallying the ratings.

B626 said...

Just don't remind Ms. Connelly what a great nose job she has all the time. Ruffles feathers

Count Jerkula said...

@B626: When I canceled Sirius, week before Artie's suicide attempt, they asked in the exit interview about about Howard's vacation time. I checked Yes, it affected my decision to cancel, and I wrote about 5 paragraphs about how the show turned to shit.



Epic_Disappointment said...

Where is Jessica Lange?

She has 2 Oscars,2 Emmys, 5 Golden Globes and a hit TV show!.

Harold said...

What about Jennifer Love Hewitt? Starred in several TV series, formerly movies...