Friday, April 18, 2014

Blind Items Revealed

December 12, 2013

This actress has been in this spot before, many times before, but it is time to unveil her on January 1 and have her stop clogging up the blinds with her presence. What you see below is not anything I have written about her previously but is all brand new and when she is revealed she will be the namesake of a prize I intend to bestow on all female drunk celebrities. I think we can agree that Kiefer Sutherland wins the prize for ultimate male drunk celebrity.

Our actress is an Academy Award winner. Plain and simple she has that going for her and she won't ever let you forget it. First thing out of her mouth is that she is a winner. Like someone is going to take it away from her. If you are ever unfortunate enough to cross our actress and are not sharing a drink with her you will probably be subject to curses and why you are in her way or blocking her light or doing something, anything to tick her off. If you are drinking with her then she will be your friend until she crosses an unseen line and turns into the quintessential meanest drunk alive. Our actress is not a friendly drunk. She is a friendly tipsy but that goes quickly. Our actress is fond of carrying a flask. Small enough to fit into the tiniest of clutches or in the palm of her hand it requires a deft touch to fill it. A request often heard by our actress during one of her noon bar runs is whether the bartender has a funnel. If the answer is a no, then our actress spends the next fifteen minutes slowly pouring her favorite top shelf tequila into the flask to get her through the next hour or two away from a bar or a bottle. The concentration she achieves while doing this would make an Olympian proud. The fact that she can stop for a minute to take a call and go off on someone on the other end of the phone using words you weren't sure even existed except in some ultimate curse word universe and then hang up and continue pouring again without missing a drop. If she does happen to miss a drop she will be found with her head on the bar lapping it up.

If you think our actress is a joy to see after hours, just imagine what it is like to work with her. Our actress rarely comes fully prepared for the day and woe is the director who decides to shoot something not on the original call sheet. Our actress likes perfection for herself. She doesn't really care about the performances of others, it is all about herself. Prior to shooting her most recent movie, the director and producer were warned that life would be hell on earth if they hired the actress. Each said that they could handle her and that she was worth the chance. Two days into filming they were regretting their decision and two weeks into filming they were regretting getting into the film business. Here is the favorite trick of our actress on set. She films a scene with someone and doesn't like her portion of it. Not the director not liking it, her not liking it. When another character starts speaking she will start talking over them and put her face right in the middle of the camera and start saying f**k repeatedly to ruin any chance the shot can be used and she can start from the beginning. This is a regular occurrence on set but she is very good at using different words and gestures throughout the day just to keep things fresh.

After lunch is not the best time to work with our actress because she likes to imbibe during the lunch break. The best time to work with our actress is between 10am and noon. The rest is all going to be hit or miss. The last director who worked with her called her the most vile person to work with ever. She seemed so sweet when she used to be on television back in the day.

Marisa Tomei


54 comments:

WareCat said...

I rule the ultimate curse word universe.

sandybrook said...

Who will be the second recipient of the Marisa Tomei Award (since shes the first)? But now we see why she doesn't get much work and usually looks like hell now.

Violet said...

She's not the first alcoholic and she won't be the last.
FWIW (nothing) we liked that Parental Guidance film she was in. Well, I mean my 8 yet old did.
And Kiefer's the drunkest male celeb ever?

Lady Heisenberg said...

Does this mean that I got Blind #3 right and My Uncle Fappie will soon be released by Vivid?! LOL

Tina Mallette said...

I have to admit this shocked me, how sad.

Sunshine said...

I always liked her. Still do.

Matt & Jess said...

This actually surprised me. Not much does but this did

FrenchGirl said...

how was Darren Aronfsky able to work with Mickey Rourke and her in THE WESTLER? in the commentary of the dvd,Aronofsky says clearly that Rourke was painful but he praises the actresses

Count Jerkula said...

Would still bone. Hopefully she is as into perfect performances in the bedroom too.

QueenAnne Guido said...

She should never have won that year. There was speculation that they vote ewas so split btw the true quality actresses that she sneaked the win. Of ciurse well never know As they don't publish the numbers.

califblondy said...

I thought she was an Enty friend. Damn, this bums me out. Enty has written for years that MT liked to hit the bottle, but that's no excuse for being a bitch. It explains why we don't see her much.

Renoblondee said...

Didn't old Enty love her to pieces?

Halloween Jack said...

She's gotten steady work since My Cousin Vinny, was nominated twice more for an Oscar, and is on Broadway now--not exactly the kind of job for a lush who's only good for two hours in the morning. Your BI may have been true for one job of hers, that she was really unhappy with, to a much less exaggerated degree.

AKM said...

Apparently there's a whole thread on IMDb stating that she's "a nightmare to work with," written by a crew member from a recent project. I haven't read it all yet, but still I'm not sure what I believe.

loopymommy said...
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loopymommy said...

I went to high school with her. She was an insufferable, pretentious moron back then and has only gotten worse. She won an Oscar by imitating members of her Bensonhurst family. Big stretch. Aronofsky is also an alum (Edward R. Murrow in Midwood, Brooklyn, same as Adam Yauch and Peter Steel).She was in a high school production of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and was playing a princess from southern Italy. She told the director that she wanted to use a southern accent for the part. Idiot.

Anothergrayhare said...

Dammit, I had The View on this morning, Lohag was a cohost and then Marisa Tomei came on near the end. I use the show as background noise while working. I would have paid waaay more attention if I'd read this first.

SueRH said...

This sounds highly exaggerated. Licking the bar, really?

melissa said...

@loopymommy

good dish!

LOL southern accent

bless her heart

sandybrook said...

East 16 th Street and Avenue M right close by the Tv studio they used to film soap operas in. @loopy

Basil said...

@Queenanne Oh yeah, I remember her Oscar win. Never saw Vinnie, but I did see the movies the other actresses were in, and it was tight between the 4 which one would get. Despite the conspiracies, chances are the votes were split everywhere, and that is how Marisa won.

RE the reveal, we all knew she was a big drinker, but I had no idea she was a mean drunk and an even meaner hangover. I remember one of Joan Rivers daytime talk show around that time, and Tomei's name came up and the audience booed. Loved Joan's response "Why are you booing her? What's she ever done to you?|

loopymommy said...

Yup, with the "Vitagraph" smokestack next to the train tracks. We used to see the cast of "Another World" jogging around Midwood Field (if you watched in the 70s, Victoria was one of them). Kosher pizza two blocks away.

Tricia Shaw said...

As long as we're sharing...I was from Thtr background in NYC,ran same circles for a bit.....know about ALOT RE Madame but don't agree with smearing a name....times she was nice...times fragile....and to her credit..never saw her drunk...just neurotic..
And yeah..I hooked up with longtime ex a few times...

Tricia Shaw said...

Note to self-change friggin screen name

loopymommy said...

@Melissa, exacty. Bless her heart. We had a party for the 10th anniversary of the school's opening about two or three years after I graduated. She showed up with a guy on each arm and paraded around the gym like Queen Shit of Turd Mountain. Adam Yauch was there, too, just chilling out and being a nice, regular guy. She was truly an undeserving diva.

AKM said...

@Tricia - "And yeah..I hooked up with longtime ex a few times..."

So you hooked up with HER longtime ex? I'm confused by the wording here. Also, I don't know who her longtime ex is. :-)

anda marie said...

LMFAO @ this blind. Confirms what we all know about her.

She's not the first to win Oscar by imitating her family, Bullock & McCougney just to name a couple.

melissa said...

@tricia

@AKM color me curious too

Tricia! IF you want to reveal

I just looked up, Marisa hasn't been married not sure who she's dated

Ray Nicolet said...

Explains why she's not with the American Tom Hardy anymore.

EvieShackles said...

I imagine this is a common occurrence among the Oscar winners in Hollywood. Maybe not the booze but the attitude.

Tricia Shaw said...

Her ex..longest relationship she had.....ny playwright. Not famous.....but was coming up as well when she was having her big moment....90,s..
His name frank pugliese.....they had long time thing...engaged at one point...but over when I was "seeing" so to speak..(she shifts halo.....)

texas rose said...

Marissa was guessed early (by Derek Harvey) but a lot of guesses.

melissa said...

@Tricia

TY & yay that you didn't diss the sisterhood

girl code rules

Tricia Shaw said...

absolutely Melissa....:)

Sadie said...

The last thing I saw her in dates back to Lincoln Lawyer. She was very good in that, had good chemistry with McConaughey and he gave a great performance so she wasn't casting any shade on him in that.

Tricia Shaw said...

And in franks defense, he is sorta famous in NYC Thtr world and other places..(Yale U. Etc) he's actually quite prolific and impressive.....wickedly smart
Sigh..my type

melissa said...

@Tricia

The Google shows his smarts & he looks pretty hot too

Too good for MT, not good enough for Tricia

Tricia Shaw said...

Let's toast to that Melissa..it's happy hour where I am....:)

melissa said...

Salut!

msgirl said...
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msgirl said...

I went to Midwood HS in the 70s! Graduated 74. Way before her time.

loopymommy said...

But after Allen Konigsberg's!

Sherry said...

They didn't dub her Tomei poisoning for nothing.

Great story Tricia!

Sherry said...

AND loopymommy...awesome!

PJ said...

"then our actress spends the next fifteen minutes slowly pouring her favorite top shelf tequila into the flask to get her through the next hour or two away from a bar or a bottle."

Uhh, this is illegal. So illegal that I cannot imagine that there is a bar in any major city or even suburban town on either coast (where most inside the U.S. films are shot) that would be willing to risk losing their liquor license over-this is supposedly happening in broad daylight-I don't care WHO the celebrity is. I've heard for years that Tomei is a raging drunk so I'll buy the rest just not that part. There are no "to go" cups allowed in bars not to mention the question of why she wouldn't just go to a liquor store?

Cocoa said...
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NaughtyNurse said...

I hate to be the blind reveal police, but this was revealed already.

evie2345 said...

I'm surprised by this one . She never seemed especially sweet, but that's pretty extreme.

Cee Kay said...

I was really hoping this was Julia Roberts. This just makes me sad.

Sherry said...

PJ..She probably isn't pouring it in front of the bartender. As a professional drunk she probably knows the rules.

sugarbread maker said...

i thought it was rumored...well... that what won mt the oscar was climbing liz smith, aka, the grizzly bear.. i thought most females got so much favoritism and good press from la liz by climbing the grizzly bear.. anyone else know about this??

Tru said...

A long time ago there was an (VF I think) article about her personality, detailing events that had made her nearly unemployable in Hollywood. She was rude, uncooperative, truly nasty. After that, in order to get work again, she straightened up for a while, but it looks like class always tells in the end anyway.

JoeInLA said...

Well let's be honest. Much of what is written in the paragraph about her behavior on-set could easily apply to any number of actresses from the Old Hollywood days, including one I really admire (although there is no report of her using curse words to ruin a shot). That's how they became stars, children, by never letting anyone upstage them or look better in a scene than them. Not the nicest behavior, I agree, but there are thousands of "nice" actresses who were never heard from again. The "mean" actresses knew exactly what they were doing.

Jess bobess said...

say it aint so. I always thought she seemed like a fun person to drink with.