Monday, July 14, 2014

Man Wants To Make Daughter A Princess - Claims Land In Africa

Talk about being a daddy's girl. Jeremiah Heaton promised his 6 year old daughter that he would make her a princess. So, the Virginia man traveled to a disputed portion of the world between Egypt and Sudan and claimed it for himself and immediately anointed his daughter a princess. The land is about the only portion of the world that is unclaimed by anyone. Sudan and Egypt both want it, but because of some former treaties, do not do anything about the situation. Heaton says that he plans to try and have his claim formally recognized. His two other children were not given royal titles but were presumably given t-shirts that said my sister is a princess.

71 comments:

TalksTooMuch said...

And all the other dads on the block with daughters shot him.

Frufra said...

Oh my. Here's hoping none of this guy's kids turn up in my class.

RivenIsAHasBeen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Violet said...

That's sort of a peculiar thing to do. Odd people in this world.

Violet said...

Mind you, you can buy any old title in this country. We have a Lord somebody who rings up work. He has as much connection to royalty as I do ( which is none).

Zilla3 said...

The king got his ass kicked. Long live the king.

RivenIsAHasBeen said...

Wow. I just can't even...

Here's some parenting advice: tell the brat to face reality. She's a nobody, she'll likely continue to be a nobody, but maybe if she aims for something other than privileged entitlement, she might end up as a bit more than a nobody.

Michael said...

You can actually buy a landed title. Seems much safer and cheaper than traveling to disputed lands in Africa. I once thought about buying my ex a title as a "Countess" because she certainly acted like she already was one

meme deemed said...

It's about as bad as how sewer rats (aka Madams, prostitutes, pimps, mafiosos) buy themselves titles as Baron/Baroness, Count/Countess - to make them "legit" elite.

Lurker Girl said...

Michael....would you buy me a title? Please, pretty please with sugar?

Shelly Shell said...

Zsa Zsa's hubby bought his title. He could've just done somethig like that for her birthday. What he is doing is stupid & dangerous, this is more about him being a big important man, than his daughter.

StewMcG said...

Since he made himself King and his daughter Princess, doesn't that invalidate their US citizenship? Isn't there something in the constitution against a US citizen holding of a title of nobility?

Terri said...

I'm not sure renouncing her ciitzenship would be worth it.

Lurker Girl said...

Title of Nobility Amendment..and I quote:

""If any citizen of the United States shall accept, claim, receive or retain any title of nobility or honor, or shall, without the consent of congress, accept and retain any present, pension, office or emolument of any kind whatever, from any emperor, king, prince or foreign power, such person shall cease to be a citizen of the United States, and shall be incapable of holding any office of trust or profit under them, or either of them."

MeanieRhysie said...

This is making me stabby. Idiot.

Gayeld said...

Kind of creepy, really.

Vera Christina said...

this little girl will grow up to sue her parents for college tuition. ~sigh~

jane3113 said...

That girl will be very well adjusted and have lots of friends.

Just kidding - she's probably already a nightmare. This story would only be somewhat ok if we found out she was dying.

TalksTooMuch said...

You know it's a bad story when only a dying 6 year old will save it

Shelly Shell said...

Most people would just throw a Disney Princess birthday party.

Nutty_Flavor said...

I would imagine that if he got kidnapped on this little jaunt to a disputed territory, he would expect the U.S. military to come get him out. What a great use of tax dollars that would be.

Susan said...
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Susan said...

Doesn't this make any of you wonder if the dad is mentally ill? I mean this just seems cray.

timebob said...

@Lurker the amendment has never been ratified so yes, you can hold a royal title and still be an American Citizen, many people marry or buy into royalty.

Most people mix up the fact that the US Government cannot give out royal titles.

So there will never ever be a King of America.

timebob said...

and FWIW wouldn't of been easier to spend $19.95 and name a fake star after her?

Eros said...

Lol.. I think its rather cute, admirable and noble in this day and age of bad and nonexistent parents.

This guy wanted to show his daughter just how special and loved she is by fulfilling her wish to be a princess. I think that's pretty awesome.

Renoblondee said...

That's not delusional at all.

MeanieRhysie said...

Is it bad I cracked up, @jane? I'm going to hell, aren't I? Good thing I don't believe...

TigeRLiLy said...

What a p.o.s. all the people in Africa that could use a safe place to live....use that kind of motivation to build a shelter....create a health care center.....nope steal more land so your spoiled brat innocent daughter can be raised in the same delusion you exist in :/

Sarah said...

Assholes being assholes, and breeding assholes

Omar Little said...

Well said, TigerLily.

Cornbread said...

He could have at least created a better flag.

I wonder how his other two children feel? I wonder if they're boys? Is he married, and what does his wife think? For such a stupid little blurb, I now feel the need to waste a lot of time reading about them.

The Real Dragon said...

Lmao why ya all going after this little girl tho. It's the dad whose the dummy

discoflux said...

They're probably going to end up having one of those weird father/daughter wedding things eventually. I'd call this a slightly unhealthy obsession with his daughter, but that's just my uninformed opinion.

Michael said...

Lurkergirl that has never been ratified so it is not enforced. You can buy a Scottish Barony or several other titles but they will not be much good except for making your correspondence look really fancy and making your friends really envious. Come to think of it..., that sounds pretty good ;)

nancer said...

and people wonder why kids are spoiled, entitled brats. it's parents like this that create them.

shakey said...

And people wonder why Americans are hated in that part of the world.

Kat has left the building said...

@shelly Party City was all sold out of the Disney Princess paper plate decorations so he did the next best thing

Scarlett Drawl said...

When they end up kidnapped or killed, don't waste my tax dollars saving them.

Frosty said...

Jerk.

Cheryl said...

So not only is he getting his daughter to buy into the Disney style princess fantasy, he is teaching her to be a spoiled diva whose needs are more important than everyone else's. Nice work, King Dumbass!

Cornbread said...

He's married; both he and his wife refer to their daughter as Princess Emily. They bought her a tiara. The other two children are older boys. Sounds like dad is using the "king" title. Although this land is in the desert, they want to turn it into an agricultural hub so children in the region have enough food. And I've officially wasted too much time on this.

Dena said...

I may have to buy some land in the area and commence some serious Game of Thrones style mayhem. Starting with finding my Khal Drogo.

Lissette said...

Such a weird story...where to begin? Hm...seriously dad has isssues. Next, they have entitlement issues. this is why we have spoiled idiots growing up...
next

TalksTooMuch said...

I'm not sure who that is, but if you find a Tyrion Lannister, I want an invite!

8====D KermitGossnellKnobjob said...

Between Sudan and Egypt. Why don't you take her to chicago? they are closer to your house and the murder rate is just above.
If he wanted to make her a noble/aristocratic person, more standard places like Scotland sell tiny pieces of their territory (100 square metres or so) with the right to be called Earl, Count, Duke or whatever of the place.

PugsterMom said...

Gee, when I ask my daughter to do something for me that I could easily do myself, she asks me, "Would you like fries with that, Princess? " I'm royalty and didn't need to travel outside the U.S. to be so annointed.

Mary S said...

I can't decide whether I think this is cute and sweet or foolishly demented. Apparently she wears her tiara everywhere. And has a custom-made princess bed. She kinda looks like a normal little girl, and it seems as if thinks was a family project. The boys are princes and the three kids worked together to design the flag, which the dad "planted" in the sand when he travelled there. So like I said, I can't decide. It is definitely unique, though.

Kat has left the building said...

@mary ok I agree it's kind of cute that it was a family project except I don't think wearing a tiara everywhere is cute. But do this in your backyard, why does he have to go so over the top and ACTUALLY claim land for his little baby girl to rule over? Buy a corvette like a normal middle aged man. This is just too weird. I bet they send out the most annoying Christmas letters to eceryone who's addresses they get their hands on and imagine her birthday parties?

Miss Behavin said...

With regard to Americans holding titles,I have a relation who is both a US citizen and a countess by virtue of marriage. It doesn't appear to be mutually exclusive.

Krissie said...

Wearing a tiara everywhere isn't so bad for a 6-year-old. If she's still insisting on wearing it when she's 10 or 12 that will be a problem.

I once read an article in "Cosmo" magazine about grown women who want to be princesses. They have events where they dress up and pretend to be princesses. Perhaps that's where this little girl is headed. It was creepy.

sugarbread maker said...

Right??
Like what are you going to get me for my birthday dad??
Gives new meaning to a princess party huh??

TalksTooMuch said...

Emily got a WHOLE NATION, Dad!! I want a a Barbie Castle at LEAST!

sugarbread maker said...

Ouch!! Way harsh Tye!!!

sugarbread maker said...

This soooo beats Frozen

sugarbread maker said...

I want dibs on Jaime Lannister tyvm!!

sugarbread maker said...

Paris hilton??

Brea Lowe said...

F****** white people

RivenIsAHasBeen said...

Hey, in some parts of the universe, maybe not in contempo-casual, but in some parts, it's considered cool to know what's going on in the world.

CowJam said...

"The land is about the only portion of the world that is unclaimed by anyone Caucasian."
There-fixed it for ya.
That land is as "unclaimed" as the Palestinian Territories.

NaughtyNurse said...

This is so unbelievably fucked up.

Nipple said...

Americans can have dual citizenship. But a dual citizen cannot run for public office.

Susannah Leigh Murray said...

Lord Disick?

bunny honey said...

My Lord! Some of you'll sound like the commentators from DM! She is just a kid. I think it's great he is showing his love for her any way possible. Also if you guys had a chance to make your little girl a princess than I know you would.

Amelia Merritt said...

Has he SEEN Game of Thrones? This won't end well.

Henriette said...

I hope Egypt and Sudan go after him.

Northbynorthwest said...

At least those poor starving African children will have some juicy American rubes to overthrow and then pig out on. Where do we donate to the kickstarter to get this guy a plane ticket stat?

CanadianMiss said...

I wonder what the mother in the family feels about this

Erik said...

Ugggghhhh...

Prunella Buggerweeds said...

If I were his daughter I would have told him "Daddy how much does that trip to Africa cost? Oh, really? Well, can I have an iPhone and an iPad and a pony with the money instead?"

Brian said...

African princess sounds really cool, until the cliterectomy...