Friday, December 14, 2007

Maybe Jessica Simpson Could Do Porn


A few months ago I did a post which said that Blonde Ambition was so awful that it was going straight to DVD. At the time I posted that, Jessica Simpson's people were saying that the film was definitely going to be a theatrical release. That of course was complete crap, and the official straight to DVD release will take place on January 22 of next year. The good news for Jessica is that because it is not being released in theatres, she won't be eligible for a Razzie. There had been talk that they would make a special exception for her film, but with the release being pushed into next year, that dubious honor seems to have escaped her.

I'm sure Luke Wilson is kicking himself. The bright spot for him is the only people who rent or buy the film will be die-hard fans of either Jessica or Luke and so will probably love the film no matter how awful it is. The film's main problem lies in the fact that Jessica is in it. From what I understand, the script was actually pretty good which is why Luke signed on in the first place. Even though Jessica is the film's star, editors tried to cut as much of her out as they could in order to get it some type of theatrical release. No dice.

Do you know how bad a film has to be that it goes straight to DVD with the kind of budget it had? I can't even imagine how much money everyone is losing on this. The good news for the rest of the world is that unless Jessica decides to strip off all her clothes, she is unlikely to be offered a lead ever again.

With the bomb of her latest album, the disaster of this film, and her declining endorsements, Jessica better be really nice to the Pro-Activ people. Oh, and I forgot to mention that the DVD is not even being sold at retail when it comes out. In order to try and get some sales, the DVD is being reduced from its list price of $24.99 to as low as $9.99.

13 comments:

Melissa said...

ouch

jax said...

I wonder how much Luke will try and pay IMDB to get that off his page??

Kory said...

Look at that cover? A woman lying in her underwear - so desperate!

DNfromMN said...

The $9.99 bit is what is so painful. Everyone makes a stinker now and then and it gets send to DVD, but the Wal-mart pricing, even before it's planned for release is pretty bad.

She really should just retreat into a hole and become a cabaret singer or something cool.

Laura said...

she's got really bad karma going on...

time to make ammends Jessica!

Kara said...

Ooooo....how embarrassing!

Papa Joe - Lay off, you're not a movie producer and your daughter is not a movie star. Period.

Cali Girl said...

I actually feel really bad for her. She looked like everything was going her way and then she got too big for herself (with Pimpa Joe pushing her all the way) and has imploded. She needs to ground herself and figure out who she is and what she wants. She needs to realize that an acting career is not in her future and needs to tell Pimpa "NO" if he tries to push her into it again. Pimpa needs to realize a pair of DDs does not an actress maketh. And a magazine cover questioning who is more pathetic in their love life - Jen or Jess - is not what any parent should wish for their child.

Sylvia said...

I really can't stand this dumbass LOL. No brains, no future. No matter what movie she comes out it will never be a good movie since she stars in them.

jax said...

im trying to figure out why someone with a supposed great voice hasn't done a cd in a few years..well again after that shitacular last one..i doubt she could get a deal. nevermind.

or could it be MV doesn't sing for anymore????

RandomRamblings said...

The problem is that she never really established a career in the first place. Her whole media identity was playing the dumb blonde who wasn't all there. The problem with this was that people have moved on to other, younger, fresher dumb blondes and have lost interest in her. She never brought anything of note in singing or acting. Dare I say Nick Lachey has a better career right now than her.

The sad thing is that she acts like she is addicted to fame and will do anything to stay in the spotlight. Which means she either will pull a publicity stunt to top all or will pull a Britney Spears Chaotic or Paula Abdul in her reality show and tape herself in an unflattering light in the form of a reality show just to keep her name in the spotlight. Maybe she can go on Flavor of Love?

muraco said...

She will be 'paired' with another famous face, as her fame slips. That gets her back in public eye and those People covers. Not the quarterback. It is over for films but Papa Joe will angle for a sitcom.

Mooshki said...

TV Guide says the film is being released in 8 theaters in Texas on December 21st, so it will be eligible for the Razzies. Woo hoo! I really hope that someone fixed this small release on purpose to make her eligible.

__-__=__ said...

She's turned into Anna Nicole, hasn't she?