Wednesday, December 12, 2007

This Explains A Great Deal

I know that most of us have been laying in bed at night asking ourselves why Renee Zellweger is so pale and sickly looking with what appear to be huge clumps of hair missing from her head. Well, tonight you can sleep more easily knowing that Renee looks like she does because she didn't sleep for almost four years. I didn't know it was possible for anyone to accomplish such a feat other than Tom Cruise, John Travolta and people who have had so much work done that they can't close their eyes.

Add another one to the list now. In an effort to make us think that she has some type of conscience or brain, or is current on world affairs, Renee says she didn't sleep because she was addicted to world news. I know many people who are addicted to the Weather Channel. Always waiting for the local on the 8's and just sitting through one ten minute period after another. Groaning with joy at the Severe Weather Update.

The actress described herself as a "opinionated political plebeian" and said after 2001 she couldn't got to bed without watching reports on world events from European news channels.

She told the Metro: "I vote. I'm a highly opinionated political plebeian and I'm news-obsessed, especially from the international perspective.

"I swear I didn't sleep for four years starting in 2001 which is why Jack White looked so good to me." (OK, I added the Jack White part)

"I didn't sleep from traveling around the world watching the news and seeing so many inconsistencies in the reports between the ones at home and the ones in Europe."

All those inconsistencies would keep anyone awake for four years. When Renee finally did sleep in 2005, she woke up and found herself married. She has since vowed to never fall asleep again, lest she end up in the sequel to Me, Myself & Irene or finding herself carrying Jonathon Lipnicki's baby.


AlishaK said...

Hey, Jack White looks a hell of a lot better than Renee Zellwegger, even on his worst days!

Unknown said...

She's so pretentious. To think that I liked her so much in Jerry Maguire. I'm just surprised Jack dated her... not the other way around.

deity2 said...

all i can think of when i see her is kathy griffin's comment that she is "a sweaty, puffy coke whore!"

Reese said...

Any idiot can be opinionated, it is nothing to brag about. Being proud of herself for being addicted to TV is another thing best not shouted from the rooftops. You didn't enhance your intellectual reputation with these revelations, Renee.

jax said...

blahblah blah..go eat a Krispy Kreme Bridget and go away.

i loved her as BJ..and that's a bout it.

bionic bunny! said...

seems to me the coke habit she must have developed to lose the weight she gained in order to play those parts is what's keeping her awake (is that even grammatically correct?).

she's always looked weird to me. even when she's really skinny her head and face don't match.

MEP said...

Snotty or not, she's on point about the news in the US.


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