Friday, September 11, 2009

Ted C Blind Item

We're just crazy for debauchery here at Blind Vice central! On top of our fab 'n' fierce Blind Vice Superstars gallery, we've got another Blind first today: a Vice candidate appearing two weeks in a row!

Now, last week's inaugural Blind Vice about Topher Hairy-Tuchus brought all kinds of hilarious reactions, my personal fave being a comment from hmmm (could you get a little more original with your moniker, bitch?) who stated: "Sorry but this sounds made up..Ted printed an email the other day that complained how boring the straight Blind Vices are and he needs more gay ones, all of a sudden all of these gay Blind Vices happen to be appearing."

Are you for real, "hmmm"? A.T. is usually all about the closeted gay dudes, and besides, not only do we never make this naughty stuff up (ever) we've since heard back about Topher's earlier life, back when he was married.

Turns out he likes to take chances, just like he did with that anonymous Internet dude he tried to have sex with through a sheet. So when Hairy-Tuchus had a female spouse, he had the nerve to...

Bring a guy back to his house and get down to it on the bedroom he shared with his wife! Too bad they don't put in anything about protecting the sanctity of the marriage bed in those vows, huh? And, as soon as hot Hairy and his hunky minuteman were about to complete the manly act, guess who walks in on him?

Yep, the missus. To say she was pissed is to say I'm hot for Robsten. But it also explains a few things:

If anybody's caught on recently why Hairy's fake relationships with various starlets these days is so upsetting his ex, this is most likely one of chief reasons why. He can prance out ersatz honeys for camera, but not her? Yep, apparently it's an utter impossibility for Topher to be under-the-radar cool like Crotch Uh-Lastic or even the recently whipped Toothy Tile. He can't keep the fact that he likes dude somewhat discreet (as long as he's choosing to stay in the closet), he just has to—as usual—take chances and parade all kinds of risk-taking measures for many to see.

Gambling guy, this one is, for sure.

Oh, and another thing: THT's dangerous man-activities are not only well known in many professional circles, these antics are now ripping through the hallways of Hairy-Tuchus' agency with a force he'd be smart to try and cool down.

But how boring would that be?

And It Ain't: Will Smith, Tom Cruise, George Clooney

26 comments:

bflogurl said...

Sean Penn?

aloha-ay said...

Totally Bradley Cooper. He was married for a hot minute.

shazzzba said...

YES BRADLY COOPER.....NO DOUBT...POOR RENEE....3 FAIRIES IN A ROW...

MontanaMarriott said...

Yes this confirms Bradley Cooper who was married to Jennifer Esposito for a hot minute.

Idiot Watcher said...

But didn't Jennifer leave him for beating her up? That would seem to be quite a separate issue from certain unsavory bedroom antics with other guys.

sunnyside1213 said...

I thought she left him for beating her up too, but maybe that was just the last straw.

aloha-ay said...

Other than Gerard Butler (who I don't think was ever married) I can't think of another high-profile celebrity courting all the starlets right now besides Bradley Cooper.

shazzzba said...

THE BEATINGS COULD HAVE BE CONNECTED TO HIS BEHAVIOR....

MontanaMarriott said...

OR it could have been the excuse used to give to the public/courts as opposed to outing his "extracurricular" activities.

Hate to say it, but Hollywood prefers you be a wife beater than a homo, go figure

mialou said...

I am absolutely astounded that any of you can get anything out this one. I don't understand any of it.

vamp said...

ted already said bradley cooper was a blind weeks ago so it can't be him...there is one for him but it had to have come out earlier than last month based onb what ted has said...

silenttype said...

So Brad beat her and was gay. You American women complain you can't find a man and then you complain yours is not good enough.

Pandora said...

Not a big Renee fan, but do we really consider her a starlet?

Ayesha said...

My first thought was Sean Penn, too, but he's still married and I really don't get the homo vibe from him AT ALL.

I like Bradley Cooper for this one.

Tenley said...

Pandora -- I'm just backing you up on the Renee thing, she's now 40 years old, surely no one can be considered a startlet past, oh, 39? 29? But the thing is I've seen more than once folks connect B.I. "starlet" references to Renee and that just cannot be in any way shape or form -- not only is she 40 she has an Oscar, there's nothing starlet-y about her.

valerie said...

I can't understand a word of this blind.

Funny Girl said...

My first thought was Sean Penn also, but with all his womanizing tendencies I doubt it's him.

Ted C's blind items are so difficult to read through.

chestnut-red said...

I agree with Tenley and Pandora - neither of Bradley's last two flames (Renee and Jennifer Aniston) are starlets. A starlet is a young actress in the early stage of her on-screen career.

J-Mo said...

thank-you all for reading this item for me. Agreed, Renee Zellwegger is no starlet. Should be looking younger but I'm too old

Kara said...

Well, and it has to be someone whose ex is making a big stink or seeming pissed off about the people he is dating now. But not maybe someone that we all know???

Kara said...

Mel Gibson! Lol.

rtsew said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cdanluva said...

what about kenny chesny?

Nosey Parker said...

I like the Bradley Cooper guess.

My 2nd choice is Jude Law.

Tammy said...

Mario Lopez? Wasn't he married for a minute? He's got the gay in a major way.

Kerstin said...

BC...gambling = vegas = the hangover