Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Dear Richard,


Dear Richard,

I thought I would drop you a line to see how your summer has been. Still serving that awful slop you call food? Hopefully when people spend $200K to fly to space on your airline you will actually give them a proper meal.

Anyway, I am now in New York and am headed back to London. I have just arrived from Pittsburgh. I wanted to see the lovely town that Sienna Miller denigrated so badly. Pittsburgh is wonderful.

Anyway as the plane was landing in New York from Pittsburgh, the plane started taxiing and a passenger or two started to get up to retrieve their bags. Well, one of the flight attendants took exception to this as they should. He asked the passengers to sit down. They ignored him and continued to retrieve their bag while the plane was moving. At that point the flight attendant approached the passenger. The passenger hit the flight attendant with his bag right in the head.

Oh you should have heard the words come out of the flight attendant's mouth. I have not heard such language since the last time I flew your airline and someone asked for a second cup of water to get the taste of your food out of their mouth.

Well, after his tirade, the flight attendant grabbed two beers, popped the emergency chute and slid his way to freedom and a new job. I heard later the police found him in bed with his boyfriend and he said he had never been happier.

34 comments:

MontanaMarriott said...

Gotta love the cops with the tattoo'd sleeve, lol

selenakyle said...

Bwa haaaaaaa! Good one, Enty!

I love this story. Dude just snapped and said "fuck it!" and slid the hell on outta there with his two beers in hand.

The asshole passenger needs to get reprimanded too, IMO, since he broke the rules in the first place.

jax said...

this guy along with dry erase girl is the BOMB. keep em coming America!

0 said...

Hahaha, I love this guy. I worked as a flight attendant for about a year, and dealt with my share of a**holes, so I sympathize.

And that cop is freakin' HOT.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

That is one of the best quitting stories ever. hahaha. I wish I was on that plane, I would have given him a standing ovation.

Dawn said...

This is a great story, but the "Dear Richard" part could have been a bit better.

Sorry fellow commenters, but I feel Enty could have reached greater levels of sarcasm and wit in this post. Maybe he just got up.

jadetoo said...

I love this story. This is a LOLer.

Jenny said...

The passenger attacked the flight attendant. Why isn't the passenger's name publicized so we can ridicule the idiot, and why isn't he in jail. I'm on the side of the flight attendant. He just got tired of the abuse passengers delight in heaping on the flight attendants. Horrible job to have.

Actually, the attendant and the passenger both behaved poorly, and both should at least be reprimanded, but not just one of them.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

@Jenny

Right. Why wasn't the passenger arrested for assault?

Sadie said...

The part of the story you don't know is the flight attendant was is already under a ton of stress due to taking care of his terminally ill mother. Granted he should not have reacted that way to the passenger, etc..but who could blame him?

KiKi said...

I love this story and I, too, would have given the flight attendant a standing ovation!

jax said...

someone wails me in the head with his carry on and calls me a fucking asshole...at my job?? OH HELL NO.

the chute would be deployed, but he's be going down headfirst.

Icecat said...

This guy is my new hero!

Why are people so fucking rude? We all know the rules, you don't get up until the plane is at the gate. As someone who flies A LOT, I so wish I could just stand up, grab my carry on, and get the hell out of the plane...BUT we have to follow the rules. If I have too, so does everyone else. I fucking hate jerky people...

Marion said...

Yay for the flight attendant - some airline passengers are the rudest people ! - Way to quit, man -grab a beer and fly away!

canadachick said...

i heart this guy. Makes me want to stand up and tell someone off....hang on
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oh awkward that DID NOT go well

Pookie said...

loving the fabulous exit, girl!

sunnyside1213 said...

Richard is running Jet Blue now?

califblondy said...

Yesterday I thought the passenger was a man, but from I read today it was a woman. No matter, Steven is my new hero. The comment section of the NY Post was hilarious, even the ones joking about Steven's homosexuality and somebody wrote that JetBlue needs to make Steven its new CEO. I guess he's got quite the following on Facebook now.

I hate the f'n assholes on planes who never follow directions, stuff oversize bags in the overheads, and step on everybody else trying to be the first one off the plane.

MCH said...

Ah, this story is HILARIOUS. I'm totally on the side of the flight attendant & don't understand why he was arrested & not the a-hole passenger.

I WISH I could have been there to witness him leaving. Best quitting story ever, indeed.

Sorka8 said...

The Flight attendant was stupid to blow up all his bridges in one act of rage BUT I feel for the guy just the same

I've seen stupid rude arrogant jerks like the passenger who started all this. Enty get your facts straight! The passenger used her potty mouth first and lots of it! Steven was still wrong but she pushed those buttons hard.

Jessica said...

I am confused as to why Enty was addressing this to Richard Branson? The incident happened on a Jet Blue airplane - not Virgin. They are not related, Richard doesn't own Jet Blue.
*scratching my head*

califblondy said...

A witness to the incident said on GMA today that the passenger cursed him out and even though he was bleeped I think she called him an f'n asshole as she hit him in the head.

shakey said...

Jessica - creative license so he could write a letter to Richard.

sunnyside1213 said...

I love his letters to Richard. I have a friend at Virgin. Going to send her a link.

Mango said...

I'm guessing the food on JetBlue must be vile because I always found the food on Virgin to be quite good (and the service wonderful).

Once I was on a domestic flight, Delta or USAir I think and the man behind me grabbed the back of my chair to pull himself out of his seat and grabbed a handful of my hair as he did so. I yelped in surprise and pain--it hurt! and the stewardess (not calling her bitch ass a flight attendant) said to me, "Oh, stop it!" I guess my pain annoyed her.

califblondy said...

I had an Air Canada flight attendant pat my shoulder as I wimpered through horrible turbulance.

After it was all over she said it was the worst turbulance she'd ever been through and yet, she was still nice to me. What an angel.

Syko said...

I absolutely love this flight attendant's snit. I don't think he should be arrested - he should have won an Oscar! That's more drama than most movies can serve up. Maybe a fine for the expense of restuffing the emergency slide, but don't put him in jail, he only did what everyone who ever held a job dreams of doing.

ardleigh said...

It was "dinner" and a show. WooHoo!
I agree with the others the passenger should be in a cell too.

Thank you Enty! I was hoping you would do a Dear Richard about this.

P.S. Pittsburgh loves you back.

Mooshki said...

Last time I flew I asked for "coke" and the flight attendant replied "liquid or powder?" It was his first day on the job, and somehow I doubt he lasted much longer. :)

Char said...

I have flown with the Virgin group several times (I am a Canadian living in Australia) and I totally agree with Enty on the food. It's horrendous. I was on a 13 hour flight from Melbourne to LA and I did not eat. At all. That was preferable to eating whatever it was that they put in front of me. BUT, I continue to fly with them because I think the flight attendants are wonderful and the entertainment system is the best I've seen.

About this story, I'm totally Team Flight Attendant. That passenger is a douchebag and should be arrested for assault. I hate @ssholes like that.

linnea said...

Go Steven!

Karmen said...

Oh, Pittsburgh, I feel your pain. People are always unjustly bashing Baltimore.

Karmen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
L said...

I think the "dear Richard" part refers to a letter a frequent traveller sent to Richard Branson after a dismal flight from India to the UK. It made the papers and I think Branson went back to him thanking him for the information etc. Some people at some point said it was a pubblicity stunt - not sure - anyway this is the link: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/4344890/Virgin-the-worlds-best-passenger-complaint-letter.html