Friday, November 05, 2010

Ted C Blind Item

It's a good thing Super-Duper Cooper, whose bedroom habits stink to high heaven, is pretty hot. Otherwise, what you're about to read would be virtually impossible to fathom. I mean, kinky sex is one thing, but totally debauched, gross-out nooky with an ever grosser-looking partner would be just beyond hideous, right?

Still, babes, hold off on eating your lunch ‘cause what you're fixing to read, about what Super's been up to, will probably make you want toss your cookies:

Coop, who still manages to bed all the good-looking gals he can find (despite claiming the opposite), recently stayed at his fave deluxe Vegas hotel. The place was used to catering to Cooper's starry ways: Women constantly in and out of his room, the suite always left a mess, etc. Nobody ever said anything, discretion is this celeb hang's policy!

But that was before.

After Super-Duper's most recent stay, he left behind a gift. It was a bag, actually. The housekeeper found it. She opened it up, thinking she'd get a delightful, vicarious big-celebrity thrill, getting a look at the fancy stuff before, of course, returning it to management so Super could retrieve his forgotten goodies.

Well, guess what she found? A bunch of s--t. Literally. Now, technically, they were crap-covered bed linens (which, clearly, Coop was planning on throwing out, but forgot). But listen up, the predominant ingredient in that damn bag was overwhelmingly made of human feces. With a nice chaser of dried seminal fluid, just to top things off nicely.

Now, Super, you bizarro perv, we already knew you were into sex-with-poop, but the thing we don't get—like at all—is where the hell do you find these chicks who participate in the stinky stuff, too? Are they really into it, or do they just play along (and hold their noses)?

Or are we just boring old vanilla-sex types, and is fornication with turds the new black? Are we that behind with the latest trends? Do tell, Super! Tweet us an answer, pronto, por favor!

At any rate, the Vegas joint's concierges are at a loss as to what they're going to say to Super next time he books a room. May we suggest: "So very sorry we can't accommodate you, Mr. Cooper, but unfortunately, we're as full as your bowels."

And It Ain't: Justin Timberlake, Kanye West, Colin Farrell

46 comments:

RocketQueen said...

Could John Mayer possibly disgust me any more? No.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

It totally is Mayer. That is some not clean in the milk stuff.

Tenisha said...

Mayer...such a gross pig.

MacVixen said...

Mayer fo sho.
Nastiness. I don't understand fetishes like that.

valerie said...

Isn't scat fetish about humiliation? How in the world do all these women get into this? I think John Mayer must have made a deal with the devil and be the most charismatic guy since Don Juan.

Jamie's Girl said...

I was thinking Sean Penn myself.

__-__=__ said...

OK, I take it all back. We can go back to talking about miscarriages now. Thanks in advance!

Stephen said...

So what does this say about Giada or Rachel Ray? I hope they wash their hands before they go back in the kitchen.

Lady J said...

John Mayer was the first person to come to mind.
That is fucking NASTY! Who in the hell would want to do that?

califblondy said...

And Rachael Ray goes for this shit? Um, I mean stuff.

I just don't get it.

MommaSaid said...

Totally Mayer as I read somewhere that he and Jessica Simpson would always leave poop and poop stained sheets when she went on tour with him. And @Valerie you are spot on-this dude definitely amde a deal with the devil! I dont freaking get his appeal in any way shape or form. Ugh.

Mia said...

Ashton Kutcher

Mia said...

Ashton Kutcher

timebob said...

Once you go crap you never come back.

Katja said...

What is the Giada and Rachel Ray connection??

MISCH said...

It's gross...

califblondy said...

Katja, see the blind from yesterday.

Kate said...

Too funny timebob!

valerie said...

Mayer must really think his shit doesn't stink.

ms snarky said...

Mayer was my first thought, too. Ick.

sunnyside1213 said...

So Sexual Napalm = Shit?

Sylvia said...

Man, this guy takes the cake. Why would women even find him attractive???

kcqueen said...

I'm not saying it isn't, but how do the "and it ain'ts" help?

looserdude said...

John and Swifty gossip from celebjihad - GACK!!!

A few months ago we broke the story that John Mayer was planning on having kinky sex with Taylor Swift. Well it looks as though we were right. John Mayer did all sorts of unspeakable acts to Taylor Swift, and then kicked her to the curb like any self-respecting man would.

Of course Taylor Swift lacks the modesty to keep her affair with John Mayer to herself, and instead has written a song about him. Here is an excerpt from the lyrics,

“Dear John/I see it all now that you’re gone/Don’t you think I was too young/To be messed with/The girl in the dress/Cried the whole way home/I should’ve known.”
“It was wrong/Don’t you think nineteen’s too young/To be played/By your dark, twisted games/When I loved you so.”
“My mother accused me of losing my mind/But I swore I was fine.”
“You’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand/And I’ll look back in regret I ignored what they said/’Run as fast as you can.”

Wow Taylor Swift is sure making a big deal about that one night of ass to mouth f*cking John Mayer gave her. Obviously she loved it, but she needs to move on and not catch feelings for every guy who gets her in bed and takes a dump on her chest.

Taylor Swift needs to stop romanticizing so much, and she’ll be a much happier degenerate Hollywood slut.

Lioness70 said...

Reading this makes me glad I'm not the only one who likes "boring" vanilla sex. That's so beyond FOUL.

How does he get these women to DO this? You would think that Playboy interview scared 'em off. I. don't. GET. it.

kathrynnova said...

the wording of this is fantastic. i love ted c

"fornication with turds the new black."

i can't stop laughing yet i am so grossed out. ew ew ew.

parissucksliterally said...

John mayer!

Barton Fink said...

Freud points out somewhere that there is an intimate connection between disgust and arousal, and the things that shock and disgust us are sometimes not that far from the things that excite us. But damn, no freakin way! This is 2girls1cup territory, and I ain't going there.

Mayer for sure.

Once, while making out with someone on the roof of a South Beach hotel, he threw me back and pulled my shoes off and took a deep whiff of my socks. I jumped up and said, "Please, no." And he stopped, but his face smelled like socks still. That's the extent of my fetish experience, and it's already too far. Yuck.

chris said...

Apparently, piss is passé.

I can't keep up.

sunnyside1213 said...

@Barton, you reminded me of someone from my past who was mad for my shoes. When we broke up I asked him which did he miss most, my shoes or the sex. Hes reply, sex with my shoes.

califblondy said...

That's too funny, Chris.

chopchop said...

I am fascinated by this. How does one broach the subject of shit sex with a partner? Does he get turned down often? Does he take a laxative beforehand? Is there grunting and farting while he's "erotically" shitting on his partner? Is that supposed to be sexy? Does the other person get to do it too or is there only a shitter and a shittee, like a top or bottom? I'm extraordinarily naive, apparently, and I'd love to know more about this poop fetish.

One more thing: Have John Mayer & Kim Kardashian gotten together yet? Because, as they say, pee goes with poop like peanut butter & chocolate.

Lioness70 said...

@Chopchop

Thanks to some degenerates on a message board I used to moderate, I found out about furries, shit fetishes, and other fetishes that are so out there I don't care to repeat them on this board. The stuff is that fucked up.

RocketQueen said...

@chris - you made me lol

@sunnyside - I hope you burned the shoes ;)

@chopchop - I must admit, I have ALL THOSE SAME QUESTIONS

Ms Cool said...

WTF? I don't even understand how this fetish works.

RenoBlondee said...

I have all these questions as well! What in the world?
Poop + sex = NOOOOOOOOO
God, what is wrong with these people? I would just be horrified and RUN as fast as I could if someone wanted to shit on me or smear it or whatever they do with it during sex! I'd be afraid I'd get E Coli infected! YIKES

MCH said...

LMAO @ this thread....

@chopchop - I too, would like to know how this works!

Dear God, I don't think I can stand the vision of Taylor Swift having poop sex.

So, Rachael Ray's husband allegedly likes to be spit on & likes feet & Rachael Ray could be the potential blind item from yesterday w/ JM. Can't say I see R-Ray liking the poop sex either.

Maybe one of Enty's readers is into poop sex & can explain the festish further?

Tenley said...

Kanye West humiliated Taylor, that's his And It Ain't connection

Justin Timberlake and Mayer have dirty sexy Cameron Diaz as an ex

And I have no idea what or who links Colin Farrell and Mayer but I have a sense it's the nastiest link of them all

libby said...

I googled for us all, b/c I wanted to have a bit o' 'splaining too:


http://archive.guidemag.com/magcontent/invokemagcontent.cfm?ID=E6B2CF08-031D-11D4-AD990050DA7E046B&Method=guidefulldisplay

WHEW. This is about shit-play between gay men, but the explanations of why poop is so damn sexy is all there, and surprisingly well-described. If you can stomach it. I got halfway through.

Enjoy, y'all!

Cindy-O said...

In this great Hollywood book by Bruce Wagner, Still Holding, there's a character who's clearly based on Jennifer Aniston, and she has a thing about poop and other things anal. So now I'm wondering if that's what she and Mayer had going on....Man, that is disgusting.

kariodi said...

Ok, I know that John Mayer is an a**. But I think these clues are very vague. I don't see them pointing to Mayer specifically. And the blind says that the guy denies hooking up with hot chicks. I know that Mayer never confirmed the hookup with Swift, but he has not been shy about his previous women.

MAC said...

@kariodi... You need to google the other Super Duper Cooper blinds. Everyone believed those were John Mayer as well and that is why everyone is tying this blind to him.

shakey said...

Cindy-O - years ago Ted had a blind that was supposedly Jen & Brad Pitt. They took some pictures of themselves having anal sex. One of their assistants took the roll in to a one-hour place to be developed. Can't remember what they did to keep it on the down-low.

What I'd like to know is - what if you're all hot and ready for action, but you don't need to poop? No sex?

hunter said...

John Mayer for the win.

Sad; he is such a talented musician. He's a classic casualty of The Fame.

After Taylor Swift's song, now this, I hope he DOES reap what he sows and fade from the limelight.

hunter said...

"Ok, I know that John Mayer is an a**. But I think these clues are very vague. I don't see them pointing to Mayer specifically. And the blind says that the guy denies hooking up with hot chicks. I know that Mayer never confirmed the hookup with Swift, but he has not been shy about his previous women."

Kariodi, in the now infamous "Jessica Simpson is Sexual Napalm" article, he talked about how he's always getting rejected by women because of his rep. Uh huh.

RocketQueen said...

Thanks Libby - when I'm sufficiently steeled for the info, I'll take a look!