Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I'm So, Not Like The World's Worst Driver


Paris Hilton was on Extra yesterday. I don't know why either. I am guessing she probably had sex with Mario Lopez back in the day and one of the two thought it was a favor so Paris was on the show. Anyway, while Paris infected the world with her appearance she also discussed the allegation made by Sarah Shahi (notice the better picture) that Paris is the world's worst driver. I know many of you cannot see the videos, or have no desire to hear Paris speak, so the translation is below.

Mario - Did you see my pecs Paris? I heard you are a terrible driver.
Paris - Did you see my beautiful hair? Oh and here is my new animal. It is an anteater. They are for sale at Parishilton.com. No, I am not a terrible driver.
Mario - My girlfriend better be a size zero before I get home. Someone Twittered you were a bad driver.
Paris - Like, I was I not even driving yesterday. I was at home with Cy. My driver picked me up from the airport and then Cy and I spent all day looking in the mirror at ourselves. I think I saw a wrinkle. On Cy, not me. I don't have any. I am so perfect it hurts. You know, a few weeks ago, I actually took a picture with a black person. Nicky says I should not call them colored anymore.
Mario - I saw a wrinkle on my girlfriend the other day. I called my doctor and had them come over right away for extra botox sessions. If I see another one on her though, I will leave her. So, there you have it folks. Paris is not a bad driver at all.









20 comments:

shakey said...

I very nearly spat water all over this computer.

Rose said...

I'm sure she needed the publicity Paris. She has that real show on a real network and you have um, I don't know.

I love how because she doesn't know her, she couldn't have almost hit her. I think we all know Paris lies so I think I'll take this as a confession. I love the translation.

Ida Blankenship said...

God, I'll bet Paris HATES Sarah, considering how Sarah is a total Frieda Pinto CLONE and Paris has to live with her size fourteen feet and crispy Fraggle weave (copyright Tina Fey). Ewww.

Pookie said...

teehee, Ida! "Paris has to live with her size fourteen feet and crispy Fraggle weave (copyright Tina Fey). Ewww."

*can't get enough TF* :D

i die.

bluebonnetmom said...

@ Ida - that was funny as hell. About spit Diet DP on to the computer myself. Awesome.

Rita said...

Does anyone else feel the need for a deep Q-Tip cleasning after hearing in their heads these 2 talking?

parissucksliterally said...

These 2 are the Super-Duo of Narcissism!

Liz said...

Why do I see Mario Lopez as the next Ron Popiel?

MCH said...

LMAO @ "crispy Fraggle weave" :) My copy of Bossypants just arrived this week. Cannot wait to dive in.

Love this exchange, Enty. Sounds about right.

RocketQueen said...

lol. Brilliant, Enty.
Two most superficial people ever.

JasonBlueEyes said...

Paris looks fat. And Old. And annoying. And Stupid. And I bet she smells too.

Yep. I've reverted back to Jr. High name calling. Which is still way beyond Paris' level of comprehension.

Audrey said...

Is it legal to have that much douchery on screen at one time? If it isn't it should be.

Julie said...

wow, she got rid of her baby voice. when the hell did that happen?

and i love that she was still in pause, pose, pause, pose mode in that interview lol

Julie said...

and if she had a british accent, i really would have thought that was Mischa

mngddess said...

Ida - Brilliant.

I bet when Paris gets in her car, there's a sign that says "put key HERE" with a large arrow. Idiot.

feraltart said...

Enty - awesome comments. CDANER's - awesome comments.

ardleigh said...

I LOVE the little girl behinde Parasite. Look at the little girls face. She looks like " Who is tghis freak show?"

Daphnie V. said...

ROFL. Brill.

Mango said...

Absolutely no one cares.

Paris is officially irrelevant.

FS said...

Paris went to court in LA today to testify against the guy who broke into her house in a low cut top and puch up bra of course. On the way in to the courthouse her boyfriend was grabbed by the 'other guy' who got close to Paris' house recently. The whole thing was taped by all the local news channels that were there to talk to PH. Stalker #2 said he had permission from Paris' father to marry her and was just there to confirm that with her.