Friday, August 19, 2011

Ted C Blind Item

Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher is having some trouble in paradise.

But at least she'll have someone to commiserate about her romance troubles with ‘cause, in case you didn't know, she's practically besties with Carmelita Salami-Climber. And rightfully so, they're cut from the same juicy pig, if you catch my drift.

Well, while Carm thinks she's in BF heaven, Carol is in relationship hell...

‘Cause her man is fed up with her BS.

See, Carol's guy actually really loves her. Like, over the moon love. Adorable, right?

We don't see much true love in the Vice vault.

And while Carol says she totally hearts her dude right back, she can't seem to stop her very flirtatious ways. Ya know, like when she brings her guy to swanky T-town shindigs and spends the whole night letting strangers paw at her very enviable assets. All while her poor schmuck of a partner watches on.

Well enough is enough, and Carol Anne's man pulled her aside at a recent party for what he thought was a private conversation.

Unfortch, Carol got all dramatic (per usual) and made a scene. Now everyone's watching to see if the formerly so-happy couple busts up.

And we wouldn't be surprised if they split, like, tomorrow. It's getting that bad.

And It Ain't: Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Aniston



30 comments:

Ida Blankenship said...

I'm going with Kourtney and Scott. That whole "cut from the juicy pig" (eeeeeeeewwwwwww) part made me think that it's one of Kim's sisters -- and I love Khloe, but I don't think dudes necessarily "paw at her assets."

MISCH said...

why even mention Lindsay ? Is there a man stupid enough to love her ?

pomme said...
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Jessica said...

I thought Carmelita Salami-Climber was Salma or Penelope so I'm going with which ever one Carmelita is not.

Ida Blankenship said...

Carmelita is TOTALLY supposed to be Kim. Google the nickname and read the blinds -- Ted makes it beyond obvious.

RocketQueen said...

Yeah, Carmelita is totally Kim. I didn't realize Kim had any friends other than her sisters and her sex tape?

Daveb said...

If Carmelita is Kim I have trouble with Kourtney as Carol. Sisters are more than "practically besties". More importantly, while I could see Kim misbehaving in front of her boy toy nonenity, I always thought that Scott seems controlling of Kourtney.

One of the other suggestions for Carmelita was Jennifer Aniston which might make Chelsea Handler as Carol. She's asserive and known for bad behaviour but I'm not sure if she has a BF at the moment.

Katie said...

Kendra? Kim is carmelita and they are both cut from the same pig (e!)
Or another e! Star

Katie said...

The first Carmelita BV said she was a reality star turned personality who fucked kanye west for shoes....... Kim k

Kathryn said...

@Katie~good guess.....i think you may have it

crila16 said...
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crila16 said...

Katie...awesome guess.

angie said...

Khloe K?

Kathryn said...

though i do like Katie's guess i am going to have suggest LaLa Vasquez.......just a thought....

Cecilia00 said...

Kris & Bruce

MC said...

if carmelita is kim, perhaps carol anne is her mom?

Wil said...

I sooo need to buy a black board so I can diagram Teddy's blind's. : /

Mooshki said...

I really like Katie's guess, except that all the "nots" are actresses.

sunnyside1213 said...

Paris Hilton? Are she and Kim still friends?

SKT said...

I like the Kendra guess the best! Also am liking the lala vasquez guess as well

Ted's blinds are a little too much for me let's cut down all the nonsense and just lay out the facts!

Candi said...

Hmm??? this is a good one... When they say, "Cut from the same pig", I'm thinking piggy bank...money! So they both have to have the same careers. Hmm?? I would love for this to be khole, but I dont think lamar would take that from her.

So i'm guessing either LALA Valuqez(sp?) or kris jenner...

ParkerNosey said...

First person that came to mind for me was Eva Longoria. Her and Kim K are close and tweet about time spent together. But the pig thing got me thinking about Kourtney K because she has admitte dto plastic surgery on her breast whereas I'm denies any work. But the bf thing is throwing me here and I don't think Scott really loves her. But this is all contingent on CSC being KimK. I disqualified Khloe simply because her best assetts are her legs and most guys don't find her attractive. But hey, I really don't know.

Tricia said...

It's Kim K and Lala. Let's hedge our bets now on whether tomorrows wedding actually happens..

Mooshki said...

ParkerNosey - I thought of Longoria just from the description, but I didn't know she and Kim were friends. Since they are, I definitely think it's her. Lala would fit, but I don't think she's well known enough for Ted to care.

Mooshki said...
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Tinnie said...

I think this is Kris Jenner. Both of the names in the blind start with a "C", just like Kim and Kris start with the same letter. Khloe and Kourtney are excluded for reasons previously stated.

Jen said...

I think Carmelita is LaLa and carol is Kim K. that makes more sense to me and they both are married to basketball players now

Kimstyle said...

Carmelita is DEFINITELY Kim, and my first thought was Lala for the other

UNOG News said...

monica in friends

UNOG News said...

and jennifer the pig is the show friends and the guy is the arquette