Tuesday, January 17, 2012

An Open Letter To Bruce Jenner


Dear Bruce,


I know you have lived in Los Angeles a long time and are trying to stay young as long as possible. No matter what you do though, you are not going to bring back the glory days of 1976. Hey, you were king of the world. You were on Wheaties boxes and although I think Sugar Ray Leonard was the best athlete from the 1976 Olympic Games, I am not going to quibble over a cereal box.

The thing is Bruce, your sport is manly. Decathlon tests your manliness. It does not care how you look and at this point you look like a freak. No one ages naturally like that and when you go give your paid speeches, I think people are more interested in your freakish plastic surgery and step-daughters than they are in what you have to say. How do you even get your mouth to move at this point after so many surgeries? An athlete ages gracefully and has wrinkles and age lines are a part of who they are and what they endured. You don't see Muhammad Ali getting botox.

After watching more episodes of Keeping Up than is recommended by the Surgeon General and therefore I may get cancer, I also have wondered if perhaps in one of your many surgeries that some doctor accidentally cut off your balls. You really don't have any. I have never seen any person belittled and verbally abused like you are who just sits there and does nothing about it. If you are looking to inspire other people you may want to grow a pair or borrow your wife's because it is pretty pathetic what you allow yourself to put up with on a daily basis.

Enty.

P.S. Just in case you are curious, 40 year old Wheaties cereal tastes really bad.
P.P.S. Next time you get surgery, wait until the stitches are out before going out in public.
P.P.P.S. What size lingerie do you wear?

41 comments:

MISCH said...

I never found him attractive, but he's made himself into a freak..

Shay said...

That looks painful.

Del Riser said...

Ouch! My old Wheaties box has Steve Largent on it.

Ida Blankenship said...

Wow. Two Kardashian posts already? Write a couple more, and you'll be up to your daily average.

figgy said...

I thought they usually hid those incisions behind the ear...?

I disagree tho, Jenner was definitely the premiere athlete of the 1976 Olympics, not Sugar Ray. I remember those Olympics well.

...which is why it is SO sad seeing him like this, wow.

Layna Day said...

Good seeing you, Ida!

Jenner could have gone the graceful route, got into broadcasting and shooting a few commercials during an Olympic year, similar to Mary Lou Retton or Michael Johnson. He opted to become a freak along with his family. Such a pity.

cdanluva said...

Hilarious.

Jolene Jolene said...

I'm always so puzzled when I see men like Bruce Jenner, who have obviously gone way too far with plastic surgery to try to recapture their youth, not just because they look like freaks, but because men look better and better as they age. They're like a fine wine. I don't get why you would want to mess with that. Enigma.

Jingle Belle said...

Nice heart shaped earring there Bruce. Very manly.

Sherry said...

I actually dated his cousin. They looked nothing alike. Bruce needs to age gracefully. There I said it since someone said it about Jessica Lang the other day and got shit for it. Now it's been directed at a man.

nolachickee said...

As long as he's married to that bully of a man in a dress, Bruce will continue to have procedures. The guy's not even allowed to have his own bank card. His every move is dictated.

timebob said...

that guy is laughing all the way to the bank. He just sits there will Kris hustles all the money.

I think he gets off on the abuse.

Sean said...

Winning the Olympic Decathlon is considered the greatest olympic achievement for men or women and the gold medalist the greatest athlete in the world.

Robert said...

I think timebob's on to something...

Maja. With a J. said...

So...there are no female decathletes? Just wondering because I thought it tested your endurance and strength, rather than your "manliness". (PS - define manliness).

But I do agree that this man needs no more plastic surgery. I get the point of this whole letter...but for some reason, I chose to get hung up on that ^^^ *L*

califblondy said...

Was it really 1976? I remember watching Sugar Ray and Bruce. Bruce really was the sweetheart of the games. Whatever happened to that wife? He was so hot back then. Now, he's looking more like Librace all the time. One of the (many) reasons I can't watch the show is because of Bruce.

Hi Ida.

NernersHuman said...

That seems like a weird place for a plastic surgery scar. Could he have had some kind of lesion removed?

Layna Day said...

Maja: women have the heptathlon--7 events. They've been doing that since the 1980s.

Jessica said...

There is no way that's an incision from plastic surgery. Looks more like he crashed one of his remote controlled helicopters into his face.
And I guess I'm the only one that doesn't think he looks all that bad. Sure he looks old, and maybe like he's trying hard to cling to his youth, but I never thought he had TERRIBLE plastic surgery at all. If you put a current picture next to a picture of him in his heyday, to me, it looks pretty much like how he would have normally aged with thinning skin, etc... He looks a little bird-like, but he's a thin guy with a very pointy nose.
*shrugs*

Lelaina Pierce said...

Is he wearing a heart shaped diamond stud?

Cheryl said...

Layna Day is correct. He could have gotten a great gig in broadcasting and become an elder statesman of sports. Keep it Klassy Bruce.

Jessica said...

Do you feel like shit now, Enty?

Those stitches on Bruce Jenner's face are the aftermath of a serious skin cancer removal surgery ... TMZ has learned.

Sources connected with Jenner tell us ... Bruce went under the knife Friday.

Bruce went to the doctor because he saw a small red mark on his face. His doctor removed a piece of it and after a biopsy it was determined to be skin cancer.

Bruce went to an outpatient facility and had a chunk of the surrounding area removed. Doctors told Bruce they caught it in time, but warned him not to go out in the sun -- especially when he plays golf -- without wearing a hat.

sussique said...

tell us how you really feel, Enty

RocketQueen said...

OMG thank you to those that pointed out the heart-shaped earring. That is hilarious.

Ice Angel said...

@ Jessica-beat me to the punch-yes-Bruce has skin cancer and had it removed.

thejadedentrepreneur said...

And take out that fucking earring. You look like an old fool.

RJ said...

Enty, I love you, man, and I love this site. However, anyone who sells an ad that displays an obviously over-enhanced woman in a bikini who is "irresistible to any man" has a certain amount of nerve taking others to task for over the top plastic surgery. I mean, I agree with you about Bruce, but you can't have it both ways. That ad is like a bad car wreck, I can't not look and then I'm equal parts grossed out and angered by her ridiculous breasts and the fact that she's someone's idea of "irresistible".

Kamikaze Butterfly said...

I thought it was skin cancer removed?

Amartel said...

Wow, free fire zone in here today! As much as you hate the Kardashians, leave Bruce out of it. He's the only sensible character (sic) on the show, and the ONLY one with serious, substantive, earned fame. The Decathlon is the for real shit. He earned his fame, he can do what he wants with it. Including, if he must, although it's certainly not necessary, plastic surgery (which turns out to be cancer removal surgery I guess), and also staying married to a rather annoying woman with a rather annoying family. Also, just because a bunch of old whores who don't know him come out and report hearsay about cross-dressing doesn't mean you need to jump on the old whore bandwagon. So don't.

Amartel said...

P.P.P.S. What size lingerie do you wear?



Jayzus.

Tempestuous Grape said...

The guy can do whatever the fuck he wants, just like we can talk as much shit as we want. I think he seems like a nice guy. If he wants to fuck himself up with surgery, then he can...I don't think this warrants an open letter. People who are true assholes are better served.

Rose said...

He has already had two facelifts. One that ruined his face and one a few years ago to try and correct it because he was self conscious about it.

I'm sorry to hear about his cancer.

Revali said...

hey, ida :0)

p.p.p.p.s. this SO doesn't seem like our enty of old...

...way too snarky. at least proof read, bro.

u know, for continuity

YourNameHere said...

The only 2 people I liked on that gosh for saken shit storm show were Scott and Bruce. Honorable mention went to Khloe for telling shit like it is. But as far as me watching the show, that was long ago and far away.

As a triathlete, he will always get my respect and can do whatever the heck he wants. I'm lucky to get through the swim/bike/run forget the other stuff that comes with a decathlon!

ChasingHeaven said...

Why in the hell is there an open letter to Bruce for having skin cancer removed off his face? Although, I must agree the man lost his balls and is verbally abused on a daily basis by his family.

Nonetheless, how about an open letter to Coke Mom next time???

Anotheramy said...

Skin cancer or not the dude seriously screwed up his face and the earrings and lipstick arent helping.

JasonBlueEyes said...

Oh my God, Revali - you are Gorgeous!!!

lunabelle said...

I was going to say it looked like the scar my father had after his melanoma was removed....

Reese said...

Both sad and repulsive. He really was an amazing athlete back in the day. Winning the decathlon is the ultimate achievement in Olympic sports.

The heart-shaped earring is especially tragic.

Revali said...

jason be

ty ;0)

like ur movie list

BK in QC said...

Kris Jenner is one RED HOT milf. I would give her my man card too if I could sleep with her every night.