Friday, May 04, 2012

Four For Friday - The Hard Fall

It was not that too long ago that this comic actor from a network sketch comedy show was probably one of the top two or three cast members of the show and was starring in movies and fielding offers constantly. Now, he is barely remembered except in some best of collections and is a constant subject of whatever happened to? Well, what happened to him was some very bad choices when it came to his life. There was the awkward marriage to a no name actress where he tried to convince himself and everyone that he is straight. He still struggles with this and as a way of dealing with his personal demons started abusing drugs on a regular basis. Much of his fortune went for drugs for his wife and him and his friends. His wife who he split with is HIV+. She swears she got it from our comic actor but she has never pursued it and he has never submitted to a test. She is and was an avid drug user so it could just as easily be that she got it from dirty needles. Over the past few years our actor has taken loans from his old castmates and got jobs here and there including a minor recurring part on a middling show but it does not support his drug habit. He has several men and women he sees for sex and they pay him and keep him around because they are star struck. When he really makes the effort he can turn on the smile and laugh and make people remember what they found likable about him in the first place and what should have kept him as a star.

64 comments:

Laura said...

obviously chris kattan

spacecowboy78 said...

^ Totally.

Grey said...

Is the "middling" show "The Middle"?

Chris Kattan guested on that...was a few years ago though

ABlake said...

Mike Meyers?
No idea, but yes yes yes on someone from SNL

Unknown said...

Mike Meyers or David Spade?

Andrea said...

Definitely Chris Kattan

AeroFANatic said...

http://www.myfoxhouston.com/dpp/entertainment/television/120427-chris-kattan

Kattan acting very "strange" last week...

Happy Chocolatini said...

Definitely Chris Kattan, he's on that horrible show The Middle.

SugarSpiceNothingNice said...

@Unknown, David Spade is a headliner on Rules of Engagement. This is sadly, definitely, Chris Kattan. 'middling' is clearly a reference to his recurring character on the show.

Laura said...

Chris Kattan was on the middle christmas show in 2011. NOT a few years ago. this is him srs

EmEyeKay said...

I didn't realize he and his ex split up after eight weeks. That's a short marriage.

tealily said...

Chris Kattan was my immediate thought, and I haven't even finished reading yet.

discoflux said...

Adam Yauch, MCA of the Beastie Boys, has died at the age of 47. May his spirit settle over the music business and make something that's actually worth listening to.

RenoBlondee said...

I first thought Mike Meyers, but you guys nailed it with Chris Kattan.

Cake said...

Agree with the others, this sounds like Mango

discoflux said...

And, yeah, duh, Chris Kattan. A recurring role on a "Middling" show. He's on The Middle regularly.

FSP said...

@discoflux - Amen to that!

Basil said...

I thought Mike Meyers reading that, but then remembered he must have millions of dollars from all those Austin Powers movies.

Audrey said...

Thanks for posting Aero! Too bad for Kattan.

On an unrelated note, wish Enty wouldn't use the "Four for Friday" title when he's only gossiping about one celebrity.

Gabby said...

I knew it was someone from SNL but *whew* you guys are amazing at guessing! I love this site!

Sean said...

Hmmm..I was thinking Tommy Davidson. But Chris Kattan sure fits better.

makeupbynumbers said...

Just for shits and giggles, let's go with Wayne Brady.

Sis Cesspool said...

Jesus, I wonder if the people who keep him around for sex know his ex-wife's HIV+?

Linnea said...

I thought that you were forced to provide a least with people you have slept with when you got diagnosed with HIV? And then those people had to get tested?

Linnea said...

*list, obv...

Rose said...

HIV testing can be anonymous, they couldn't force you to give them a list. Besides, it says the comic hasn't taken one.

Lori said...

I just saw Tommy Davidson perform last week...he did not appear to be on drungs, and was very funny.

Snapdragon said...

Whoever this might be is an idiot for not getting tested if his ex-wife is + (unless they never actually exchanged bodily fluids or shared a needle)...

Jason Blue Eyes said...

Just to be Diff: Andy Dick - The Ben Stiller Show.

Which was an awesome fucking show BTW.

Fawn Neun said...

I was going to say Mike Meyers until it got to the part where it said people paid money to have sex with him.

Chris Kattan makes sense.

Popcorn Sutton said...

No offense, but who would be star struck by Chris Kattan?

ellie said...

wayne brady is host of "let's make a deal" -does a great job of it, too.

Linnea said...

But who would pay for sex with Kattan?

Sherry said...

Mike Meyers?

Patty Mayonnaise said...

Yess I guessed Chris Kattan after the first paragraph. I always thought he was gay. He was very funny in undercover brother.

Ingrid Superstar said...

My favorite Chris Kattan moment is the entirety of MTV's 25 Lame, the special where him, Janeane Garofalo, John Stewart and Dennis Leary made fun of bad videos. Just a classic. Kattan was cracking those guys up hard. But rilly doe - why would sex workers/people pay him for sex? Maybe he gives great oral as the Mr. Peepers character.

Sis said...

Norm MacDonald has also been on The Middle (love that show) and plays the brother of Neil Flynn.

Fijigrrl said...

How sad on so many levels. Think the Kattan guess is right on.

timebob said...

@Linnea people who are 90's starstruck

Mike Meyers is reamarried and had a kid. I think he might be repressed but it isn't him.

I'm on the Kattan train.

surfer said...

Jimmy Fallon has also had Chris Kattan on, participating in some sketches or games.

This is really sad, any way you slice it.

Sweetiebird said...

How is this Four for Friday?

EleanorRigby said...

I agree, but I guess Enty thought:
1.) Comic Actor
2.) Actress Wife
3.) Show Comic Actor originated from
4.) Show Comic Actor occasionally gets a role on

But that's splitting hairs and I like the "true" Four For Fridays.

nunaurbiz said...

1) drug-addled closeted gay comic
2) Sketch comedy show
3) actress wife
4) middling show

Nina Roux said...

was gonna say dana carvey, but wiki'd him and he's a mench.

nunaurbiz said...

OK, to be different, here's my nominee:

1) Comic: Wayne Brady (sure hope it's not him, but just supposing...)
2) Sketch show: The Wayne Brady Show/Who's Line Is It Anyway (take your pick)
3) Wife: Mandie Taketa (she is an actress)
4) middling show: American Dad

Mike Jones said...

Kattan for the win.

And good for his ass - along with that cunt Cheri Oteri - I read how they used to deliberately snub and belitte Tracy Morgan while they worked on Saturday Night (boring) Live.

Now Morgan is a star and those two can barely get arrested in Hollywood. Sometimes there is diving justice.

tracynator said...

Hmmmm..wonder if the guy Summer is in a "relationship" with now has any idea of her status.

Dani said...

Read that as "Just to be stiff: Andy Dick" *L*

Jessie said...

I think it's Chris Kattan too. And I never know who these are about.

How sad. I follow him on Twitter and he tries to be funny but his jokes are off. And I watched Roxbury again last night which makes me sadder about this.

Lori said...

saw this when googles kattan...

http://shitthatpissesmethefuckofff.blogspot.com/2010/11/32-chris-kattan.html

Unknown said...

wow I thought this was sooo easy

Tommy Davidson.

it took forever said...

Damn chris kattan has been off the radar for a while, didnt know all this was going down with him.

B. Profane said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DueDiligence said...

Once again, I am showing my age. My mind first went to the Carol Burnett show and thinking Harvey Korman, but remembered that he passed away a few year ago.

Then I thought, oh it's more recent, it must be Eddie Murphy.

Barton Fink said...

Kattan was kinda funny, but no genius. I find it weird that being gay was a demon he had to conquer. What's up with that? With better management, he could have finessed it better. I felt weird when he married a woman, and now I feel worse hearing that he may have seroconverted a needle-using drug addict. Sad story -- there goes my smile for Friday.

Moonmaid said...

I thought Eddie Murphy.

lutefisk said...

I don't see people lining up to have sex with Chris Kattan. Also, he is currently on The Middle so wouldn't be a constant subject of whatever happened to?
I agree it is someone from SNL but I don't think it is Mango.

Margaux said...

I thought Mike Myers but I agree with all of you who said Chris Kattan. He was on SNL when it was at its best imo. Will Ferrell, Jimmy Fallon, Molly Shannon, Cheri Oteri, Norm MacDonald, Darryl Hammond - they were the best and he was one of them. This is sad.

Basil said...

@Barton Fink. I appreciate your sentiments, and agree with the spirit in which they are made. But that fact is as much as society likes to think we have gone beyond such petty concerns about race or religion, homosexuality is still very much an approved target for anyone with an acid tongue and a ready fist or baseball bat. Gays are attacked in the media and churches every single day. Hell, we risk our lives walking down the street holding hands, so no wonder someone like Kattan, or just about every gay kid growing up right now, has "demons" they have to fight.

It's also kind of funny that even some of the straights who support us or even say they don't care, also pull the "we don't care what happens in your bedroom". I don't recall actually thinking of even telling anyone what I do in bed, but thanks for the permission to not tell you anything. And I certainly don't want to hear about your sex life. But guess what? I hear about your sex life every time you guys get married or have babies.

Sorry for the tangent, I can sometimes get carried away at the injustice.

Barton Fink said...

All true. It just still bugs me that people get bogged down by the expectations of others. As a youngish person, I read a book co-authored by John Ritter's first wife, a therapist, about the importance of dealing with rejection by anti-gay people and organizations. (Summary of book's message: Accept that some people will never accept you for who you are, mourn it appropriately, then close the door. COMING OUT WITHIN by C O'Neill and Kathleen Ritter is the book by the way.) I'm also somewhat bold in my self-concept, and I've never thought that other people could be right while I was wrong. That trait tripped me up many times, but it did away with the idea of performing a false role in order to gain people's acceptance. I just get sad at the idea of people not loving themselves, no matter who they are. Throw in drugs and it makes me even sadder.

shakey said...

@Mike Jones - why did they snub Tracy Morgan? There's a woman at work who looks a lot like Cheri Oteri.

No way is it Mike - like Basil said, he's made millions with Austin Powers and Shrek.

Eight weeks is a pretty awkward marriage. Has to be Kattan. What was that horrible movie? Corky Something? I never thought he was that strong of a performer, other than Mango and the emo boy character - Azriel, was it?

PhillyGirl said...

Fink: I think a large part of the reason that we have so many closeted celebrities is because many producers are unwilling to hire openly "out" actors to play what they consider "straight" parts. Seems like they are under the impression that a gay person cannot be convincing in a role where they have a straight love interest, which is B.S. if you look at all of the actors in roles playing monsters/aliens/robots or other characters that are different from who this person is in "real life". If an actor is good enough at his or her craft, they should be able to do a convincing job playing whatever character they are portraying.

lostathome said...

Gotta be Chris Kattan. No one talks about him anymore. Mike Myers is still somewhat relevant. And he's still with his wife. Chris Kattan has always been rumored to be gay as well.

Felicia said...

For something different: Will Ferrell.

Was positioned to become a huge star and put in lots of movies, many of them big flops like the horrific remake of Bewitched (where they were trying to position him as a light comedic romantic male lead) and that dinosaur film that crashed at the box office.

Has been married to a no name actress for a long time. Could be split with her now, maybe that was never announced in the press.

Has mostly been doing voiceover work and shorts in recent years, plus short runs on The Office and 30 Rock.

If you look closely at the quality of the acting gigs he's been getting, his career dropped off the map circa 2008.

And his runs on the Office and 30 Rock could have been due to having friends working on those shows, "helping him out."

Thoughts?

See, I don't think anybody in the world is getting jazzed about sleeping with Chris Kattan, no matter what drugs they've been taking. Will Ferrell still has name recognition, a likeable funny man persona, and most people would have NO clue that he could be having serious problems -- if this is him.

If it is him, and really, whoever it is, I wish him the best. Drug addictions combined with a declining career can really be tough to beat.