Thursday, May 03, 2012

The World Will End June 30th


Obviously Jose Luis De Jesus has not been in the end of the world prediction game long enough. See, when you say the world is going to end you need to give yourself about 20-25 years to build up a following so you can have massive numbers of people, because when the world does not end then they are all going to leave in droves. Actually, your best bet when it comes to end of the world predictions is to make it for when you are about 95 so you can live a nice long life or already have died.


Jesus has a bunch of followers in Miami. They even have billboards all with the number 666 on it. They also have tattoos of 666 on their bodies. Apprently as long as you have this tattoo on your body you will be able to survive when the world ends on June 30th. So, the world will be filled with followers in this cult and Charles Manson and some other people who have served behind bars or really thought Ozzy Osbourne was the s**t back in the day.

31 comments:

Mojees said...

uh...666...the mark of the beast? so is this guy saying he is the anti-christ or what?

dia papaya said...

Woo Hoo! Let's charge up the credit cards and spend our last days on an island in the Caribbean!

These doomsayers always crack me up. If it really was end of days I wouldn't waste it drawing 6s on my body in some crappy compound. Lame.

Anonymous said...

I remember this guy from Bill Maher's Religulous. He was sweating through the whole interview as he claimed to be a descendant of Jesus. The people who follow him and other evangelists, cult leaders, political organizations, etc., choose to do so b/c they're just a bunch of followers by nature and they don't want to do or think anything for themselves. It's the same reason people wait and relish the idea of the world coming to an end, they don't have anything to live for b/c they didn't work to have anything to live for. Why make a better life and world for yourself when you can just wait for Armageddon and be egotistical enough to think that despite your backwards views that you have a guaranteed space in heaven or next to Jesus or whatever the fucking story is. I hate followers.

Tempestuous Grape said...

six six sick

angie said...

I've never understood why some people so readily believe these end-of-the-world charlatans. I think it even states in the Bible (which I presume forms the basis of their faith) that no man knows when Jesus will return to earth except the Father, let alone when the world is coming to an end. smh

Monica said...

Im hear in Miami and have never heard of this guy, his followers or see a billboard. And we watch Spanish language TV at home. Effing weirdo.

jgirl828 said...

if this is true, that means I don't have to submit my Masters thesis.

EmEyeKay said...

If I draw 666 on myself every day with a pen, will that count?

@T-Grape, clevah!

crila16 said...

So sad that people are so lost they end up following kooks.

crila16 said...

So sad that people are so lost they end up following kooks.

Aly said...

Where's Walter Mercado in all his dragalicious glory when we most need him? Jesus? 666? More like 6969, I have a sneaky feeling that goes all the way inside my mangina.

SusanB said...

Damn, I timed my money so that I'd run out on 12/21/12 (according to Mayan prophecy). Now I'll have to spend it even faster!

Agent**It said...

He does most of his hustling through his on line ministry and money laundering associates.

Website is hilarious

http://cegenglish.com/

EmEyeKay said...

^the countdown timer freaks me out!

JoElla said...

So I don't have to stay on my diet for bathing suit season?

sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

Robert said...

This shyster's just a little more honest about it than others of his ilk.

Pogue Mahone said...

How come every picture I see of this guy he always has his 2 fingers pressed to his head? Does he also not realize that in the real Bible that 666 is Satan's number, the Mark Of The Beast?

calculator said...

All I know is that I'm starting two months of vacation on 7/1 so if the world ends on 6/30 I'll be pretty pissed - ha.

__-__=__ said...

I learned my lesson about this last time the world was going to end. I've already posted my Craigslist ad. I am willing and able to care for any animals that will be left behind when the world ends. I do not have 666 tattooed anywhere on my body. I will not be going to heaven. I will remain here and care for your cat or dog for the remainder of their lives. You would want them living with other pets who have also been left behind on my beautiful farmland overlooking babbling brooks and clear streams filled with fish. Just send $1000 cash or money order to ......

Del Riser said...

I don't even understand this, his followers must not be religious, or they would know that 666 puts them on the wrong side.

He wants their money I'm sure, and their adoration, but some of these guys are terribly dangerous. Jim Jones got them to drink the Kool-aid.

I've come to think that a zealot for most anything is scary.

Maja With a J said...

Oh no! That means NO REVEAL DAY!!!

Anotheramy said...

Someone remind me to put a 666 on me in sharpie the day before.

JoElla said...

Wait a sec, I thought 666 was the mark of the devil... And isn't there supposed to be a 'false prophet'..

hhmm surely this trick isn't that is he?

Cornbread said...

This guy believes that he's the antichrist:

http://articles.cnn.com/2007-02-16/us/miami.preacher_1_cult-leader-followers-tattoo?_s=PM:US

Which explains the 666 tattoos.

Cripes, people are morons.

Seachica said...

Nooooooooooo

musesx9 said...

Yeah, I know of him. My friend's father is in his cult. He uses 666 because he says it is to show that they have so much God in them they are not scared of the devil. It is supposedly meant to ward the devil away. Whatever...loons

Lelaina Pierce said...

His Wiki page says he claims to be both Jesus Christ and the Antichrist. You're doing it wrong, dude!

I saw Religulous but I don't remember this guy. I guess it's hard to confuse with all the other lunatics he featured.

astrogirl said...

Oh no not another end of the world party, I just took the decorations down from the last one.

KSam said...

Hey, June 30th is my birthday....PARTY!!!!

angelbaby said...

The world can't end today, it's my Chihuahua's 13 birthday! :)

Mojees said...

....AND its July 1

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