Monday, April 29, 2013

Your Turn

Have you ever had a roommate? Best roommate story?

46 comments:

Suzzique said...

when they move out is the best story

Redd said...

oh suzzique, you are so right! I had one, and she was the best, tho. She helped with my baby, and for that I was grateful.

Merlin D. Bear said...

I've had roommates before... however thank all the Gods, not for 20+ years.
I much prefer living alone.

Onyx Loathes Hydrangeas said...

My old roommate blamed her stealing on CIA agents in "invisible suits" that apparently raided the apt when only she was there. She claims to believe she's part of CIA experiments since she was little because she comes from "royal bloodlines" and they somehow microchipped her brain. Umm let's just say she's a compulsive liar to put it best and not as crazy as she'd like to be. Glad she's gone.

Maille K Martin said...

The last roommate I had before marriage-ville was against bathing. She didn't like to get wet. She had 10 cans of athlete's foot spray under the bathroom sink, never washed her clothes (insisted on keeping them 'new')and was an open mouth eater. However, the best story I have of her is simply the morning I awoke to her asking her boyfriend 'Do you want to put it in?', followed by some fast and furious smacking noises. This meant that not only her door was open, but the door in between our ends of the apartment. I was tired, after having worked a long bakery shift and so, I advised them to 'CLOSE THE DOOR AND SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.' I hear she has a kid now. That'll be fun.

phoenix said...

I had a room mate in college from Taiwan and it was an excellent experience. Always cordial, with a ready smile, considerate, polite.. couldn't have asked for better.

Yabba Dabba Doo said...

In general, my best roommate was in my final year of grad school, about ten years ago - nice mellow guy from Kansas. The rest were pretty bad, so most of the time I tried to live alone (until I got married). Living with a junkie who was also a call girl on the side will do that to a mindset.

Erin said...

I had great roommate experiences until the last one, who crawled into bed with me her first night there because she was very drunk and "SO LONELY!!!!" It did not get better after that.

SusanB said...

Only had roommates in college and hated it. I could barely tolerate sharing a bedroom with my sister when we were kids. Even with marriage, sometimes I wish he'd go take a nap or go out for coffee or something. There's a lot to be said for living alone.

Geez I sound like a crabby old bitch, don't I?

Glitter said...

Long, long ago, I had a roommate in college who had a pet mouse. The mouse escaped and was never seen again. I found out later she told everyone I threw it out the window (we lived in a high-rise dorm). That was a LIE!!!!

mikey said...

@SusanB, I now live alone after many years of marriage and I've got to say I don't think I'd ever live full time with anyone ever again! People are welcome to visit, stay a few days and then LEAVE.

Karen said...

I've had many roommates; the worst was a girl named Sara during my senior year of college and into grad school.

Her parents owned the house and that meant that she got to be in charge of pretty much everything. She had a golden retriever that she treated like shit. For years the sight of a retriever would make me sad. One day she got home and started fixing her dinner and the dog peed on the floor--she kicked the dog and yelled at her for not waiting for her to take her out. The dog had been inside for 14+ hours so who's fault was it that she peed?

I got mono and was really sick--she accused me of faking it to get out of taking the trashcans down the driveway, so I got a doctor's note. I woke up one morning, hardly able to breathe until I threw up because my throat was so swollen. I had my best friend drop me off at the hospital. Psycho Sara got mad at me for not waking her up and getting her to do it.

I moved back home for about 13 weeks because of the mono. There was one weekend where I had to go back to school for one of my grad school requirements. When she found out that I was coming home, she took every single thing of mine in the house (including FOOD from the pantry) and put it on my bed so I couldn't sleep there. In the guest room (that held two sofas of mine--the only things not put on my bed), she turned the sofas upside down so I couldn't sleep there, either. She said that she had changed the locks--she lied.

Though I was going to continue to pay rent through the end of the school year, when my dad heard all of that he got pissed and we moved me out that weekend. I couldn't even carry anything lighter than pillows because of the mono (not allowed to carry/move things over 10lbs or risk rupturing my spleen) so all I could do was pack.

I have so many other stories about her, too, but I already took up too much space here. :)

The Real Dragon said...

Nope.

Gayeld said...

Several. I lived in a four bedroom condo with three other girls during part of college and then a couple three bedroom ones after that. Things were always "interesting." The best stories, though, are probably about the girl that moved in R&V the same weekend I did. Her mother mentioned to my mother that this was the second time in six months they'd had to help her daughter move. Mom told me later she knew right then that she wasn't going to work out. Thanks, Mom, you couldn't of mentioned that a littel sooner?

Roomate #4 was Vice-President of the Young Democrats at our college (I mention this not for any political reasons, but to show she was an "active" "on-campus" participant.) Her parents gave her a monthly (generous) allowance to pay for everything. Everything except her fast food habit. At the start of every month the fast food wrappers would start showing up everywhere. By midmonth everyone else's food would start disappearing, And V's tips (she was a cocktail waitress) if she didn't lock them up tight. #4 never knew anything about this. That half a pie that disappeared over night? The one that no one else was interested in? She knows nothing about it? Come home and find her eating egg noodles and pasta sauce when she had no food in the cabinet (and most of your egg noodles are missing)? She just bought those, and used to the whole bag, and took the wrapper out to the big dumpster.

So, we contemplated a lot of different things. Nair in R's shampoo bottle, but we were afraid R would forget and accidently use it. Finally, we settle on brownies. Brownies with two boxes of chocolate Ex-Lax mixed in. I did warn her not to eat them. I told her they were for something at work. So what if R&V and I popped a couple in our mouths in front of her (and then ran straight upstairs to spit them out in the toilet,) she was specifically warned not to eat them.

Three of them disappeared on an evening that #4 and R had a class together. Midterm. According to R, she was white as a sheet, rushed through the midterm and didn't come back for the second half of the class.

Shortly after that, we told her to move out, which is another story altogether. *g*

Leah said...

My parents are coming to live at my house because my mom wants help with taking care of dad. Yes, the dad who used to beat everyone in the family, including mom. These are not poor people - they just don't want to spend money on a nursing home for dad.

My best roommate story will involve my dad asking me to hold his balls or wipe his ass, and me driving him to a nursing home and dropping him off, while mom gets her martyr on volunteering at the local church.

Leah said...

My parents are coming to live at my house because my mom wants help with taking care of dad. Yes, the dad who used to beat everyone in the family, including mom. These are not poor people - they just don't want to spend money on a nursing home for dad.

My best roommate story will involve my dad asking me to hold his balls or wipe his ass, and me driving him to a nursing home and dropping him off, while mom gets her martyr on volunteering at the local church.

rejectedcarebear said...

My roomate in college tried to kill herself when she thought I was leaving for the night. I came home to grab something and noticed her with a note on her and a empty bottle of pills. She survived.

Gayeld said...

@Leah. Change the number on your house. Maybe they won't be able to find you. *g*

parissucksliterally said...

I had roommates all through college, and for one year after. I have lived by myself since I am 23 yrs old, and have loved EVERY minute of it.

Stallis Garden Gal said...

My college roommate was also my good friend in high school. Word to the wise, don't move in with a high school friend. She dated the entire staff of Kinkos at the time (about 12 of them), but the last one was my current husband. Sounds gross, but he successfully made the 'roommate switch', so I can't complain too much :)

SusanB said...

@Leah - you own your own home? Your parent's names aren't on it or anything (or on a lease)? Tell them they can't move in! You're an adult, you don't have to take crap from anyone! Especially if they can afford to take care of themselves. If there's one thing I hate, it's seeing people manipulated into doing something because it's "family".

Gayeld said...

@Stallis. LOL! That's part of the advice I'm giving my 17-year old nephew who's looking to move out this summer. After we threw out #4, one of V's childhood/HS friends moved in. It didn't not turn out well.

And on the switch-a-roo front, when V broke up with her major jerk boyfriend, she was friends with his younger brother, who was also in a bad break-up at same time. Today they're married with three kids and one of those couples everyone else wants to be part of.

Turkish Taffy said...

Only in college, plus for my first year after college, until I could get on my feet financially. She poured me Jack Daniels and drove me to the airport when my father died. When she moved out to get married, she paid her half of the rent until the lease expired. For her pains, she put up with my drunk barfs on her rugs, and the strays I would bring home for her when I went out clubbing. She was a doll, and I must have been the roommate from hell.
I won't talk about the time she caught me in bed with her best friend's boyfriend...

Nichole said...

I frequently awoke to my freshman roommate giving blow jobs. We slept in the same room with only a desk between our bed...
She also once left a drunk crying guy in our room and went out to a party. I had to entertain him with my art supplies until he got more sober and stopped crying about her.

Snapdragon said...

My best (and by 'best' I mean 'most interesting') roommate story is: For my junior year in college, rather than deal with the dorms anymore, I moved into a house with a friend of mine, which she shared with her boyfriend and three other friends. All of the men were from the Computer Science department. Shortly after I did, they broke up and she moved out. Me and four CS nerds. They were nice guys for the most part, though, and I have no complaints (well, except for the burnt mulligatawny soup). While I'm a bit brighter than Penny is, watching The Big Bang Theory is an exercise in deja vu for me, however.

Henriette said...

I got threatened by my last roommate's boyfriend. She had this habit of picking up thug boyfriends. Never had a roommate after that.

CK76 said...

1. Had a college roommate that used to "sleep" with the quarterback in the bunk above me. (They have since married and then divorced)
2. Had a roommate that used an entire roll of TP EVERY DAY, and told me that she felt like the feelings flew out the back of her head. Yeah, turns out she was just released from a mental health facility...and didn't mention that up front.

MadLyb said...

I had a roommate who was a nymphomaniac and just an all around wild person. I ended up living with her because she went to my mom's church. I went on vacation once and found she'd been doing it in my bed. I mean, I could tell because she hadn't bothered to change the sheets. :[ We're talking random strangers, and pretty gross ones at that.

One day she called my mom for advice on how to clean up her act because my mom was a major Bible-toting church lady, and ended up being called a "whore" through Bible scripture. My mom was good at doing that sh*t. I came home and found my roommate hysterical. She'd taken 2 bottles of sleeping pills, so I called the paramedics and then went with her to the ER. I felt so bad being that it was my crazy mother who pushed her over the edge. :( You had to have a pretty tough skin to deal with that woman, which my roommate didn't have. So my becoming an angry, bitter old hag sort of stemmed from necessary survival skills.

Munch said...

First year of university I shared a house with 3 girls I'd never met before. One of them, lets call her Ann, seemed nice enough on first meeting. I came home one day and found her in my room going through my clothes. She told me I'd been stealing from her and she was looking for her stuff. Needless to say I hadn't stolen anything but she couldn't be convinced of that and got increasingly shouty until I realised she was also becoming stabby (had a kitchen knife in her pocket).

I left ASAP, called the police and called the other girls to let them know not to come home right now. Turns out she'd acted out the same scene with each of them at some point through the day but none of them had thought to warn the others. Police took her away to calm down in the cells. Next day they called to say she'd been assessed by a doctor and was in a psychiatric unit. Her mother then turned up at the door claiming we had drugged her daughter with experimental drugs developed by the military - we were all computational mathematics students, so no access to drugs, good or otherwise...

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Other girl, lets say Beth, was a great girl but had a chronic problem with picking up the weirdest guys. We had to ban her from bringing guys back to the house after she brought back a homeless guy AND HADN'T REALISED HE WAS HOMELESS. The lifetime's belongings in the carrier bags wasn't enough of a giveaway.

Other girl, Cassie, was the life and soul of the party and a good student, until she decided that her life wasn't complete without a sociopathic girlfriend who beat her up regularly.

As soon as I could I got a place of my own, small and a bit of a distance away from campus, but it was worth it. Never shared with a roomie again. I can cope with my own craziness but no-one else's.

rhinovodka said...

lots of roomies, glad I am not the roomie in any of your stories.

Ivs said...

@MadLyb, I know what you mean: my mom isn't a Bible-freak, but she's a very cunning, manipulative and a master of the guilt-trip who was very violent when I was a child. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother and she had the absolute worst - and colorful, to say the least - upbringing, so I understand where she's coming from, but I do know a couple things about defense mechanisms. And for what it's worth, you don't seem very angry or bitter to me - but hopefully you'll be able to forgive your mother and then move on. It's incredibly difficult to accept when your parents have failed you, but in order to heal and free yourself from that pain, you kind of have to. After all, they are just humans, just like the rest of us. Wish you the best!!


Amy in MI said...

My first year of college - awesome suite mates. Couldn't have asked for better. My friend and I got our own rooms in the sophomore suites. Come to find out they were short on housing freshman and we got 4 of them in our suite. So crazy I got my own apartment after having to have a mental health counselor send a letter to the res hall people saying it was not mentally fit to stay there

I've been by myself for 2 years, but I'm moving in as a roommate to my friends house this week. We dated for a few months this year, are great friends, and it's helpi g both of us out. We're staying platonic but my BFF gives that less than a month lol

Ivs said...

As for roomies: I've only had one and she was the best. She kind dropped right in my lap; she was the friend of a close friend of mine, but I had never met her before she became my roomie. She didn't have a job when she showed up and couldn't pay me anything and I didn't even know her; from what I'd heard she seemed kind of vapid and shallow to me. She's one of those girls who are so beautiful but in an arm-candy kind of way, so you kind of expect them to be bimbos.

She was only supposed to stay for a week or two, as a favor to my friend, and I really disliked the arrangement at first. She's very messy and very girly and once she used my books - my precious books that are arranged in alphabetic order, lol - to prop up her bed!! I wanted to kill her haha. But as we got to know each other I realized that there was much more than met the eye, and in time she became essential to me. It's funny, because she came when I needed someone like her the most; I was going through a depression and hiding it successfully from everyone, but then she came along and suddenly things weren't so bad. She's hysterically funny btw, one of those people who exudes joy, parties and fun times. Knowing she was waiting for me at home to come and chain smoke and gossip with her, and that we probably had hours of laughter ahead of us, was what ultimately helped me recover that time around.

She never paid me a dime in rent, and I bought most of her food, cigarettes and occasionally other things as well, though she never asked me to. My family was sure she was using me and many of my friends questioned it but the joy, loyalty and friendship she gave me was priceless. I never dreamed of asking her to pay rent even when she did find a job - in part because I made more than her. She never said anything but she thanked me by cleaning more often than even I would have; also she knew a lot of people in showbiz so she hooked us up with invites to tons of parties with celebrities, lol!

Anyway I thank my lucky stars she showed up at that exact time because I have no idea where I had been without her, so best roomie ever!



BreeB714 said...

I hated him. refused to turn on the AC during summer and his room was 120* he finally moved out lol ... I burned him out

Leah said...

Yep, I own my awesome house. Unfortunately, I only have moderate skills in defending myself from that ninja warrior of guilt, my mom.

I have told her that they can stay with me for a
few months, but then they have to use their shitload of cash to get another place. I also explained some other boundaries I have, and that if she or dad cross them, they are out of here.

Best quote from my mom about all of this: "I don't want other people to help me, I want YOU to help me. " and she said this while she was sobbing over the phone.

FYI, I already have a son with disabilities that I take care of, yet my mom thinks it's nothing to ask me to care for my dad.

I've already told my therapist that I'm going to need to come 2 days a week.

Leah said...

Hahahaha Gayeld, if only it were that easy. Those senior citizens can be crafty.

Chris Jurgie said...

I moved in with this one girl only to discover she dealt drugs. The phone would ring off the hook and people would drop by all day and night.

Every now and then I would forward her phone calls to the local police department, which would result in extreme paranoia and me being able to get some sleep.

auntliddy said...

Never had a roomie but never lived alone either. Went from parents house to first apt with my hubby. I do know what it wld be like to do whatever i wanted in house regarding decorating. Dont know if id be any good at living alone. I used to think if anything ever happened to my sweetie i would slowly paint all furniture in house white. Now im like, what the hell was I thinking??!! Lol

chopchop said...

I had a few roommates before I got married. It sucks to live with other people, no matter how well you get along.

My college freshman year roommate was (and still is) this hypocritical, annoying know-it-all. My favorite story about her is when I was drinking sugar-free Kool-Aid and she turned to me and said, "I refuse to put those chemicals in my body." Then she reached for her Marlboros and light up. Mmmkay.

Snapdragon said...

@Ivs, your best roomie story is the best so far on here, hands down, in my opinion. :)

car54 said...

Twice. Once for a year in grad school--I was probably the bad roomate--She was a nice person and desperate for friendship and company--I was depressed that year and miserable and just wanted to be left alone. I still feel bad.
The second time I let a friend whose lease was up live at my house for a month or so until she could move a fair distance--that was ok--she was out most of the time except to sleep and it didn't last long.

I was an only child, not used to living with someone else--and I am kind of a loner.

Erik said...

Had a couple roommates in college. Never again.

SophiaB said...

I would pay coinage for a photo of the look on your face when roommate said that. Have been told a whopper or 12 in my life (roommate edition) but that is just priceless./

SophiaB said...

The roommate who came home hysterical from her doctors appt saying she had been diagnosed with uterine cancer. I figured out she was a pathological liar a few weeks later. The four months after she moved out and before I finally left the home I had lived in for 11 years was a litany of roommate hell.

but! I finally got to hook up with the gorgeous cutie who was my best roommate ever-two weeks after the liar moved out. He had lived in the house for 10 months of horrifically painful champagne dreams of what i woykd do to him if i ever got my hands on him. We spent the next two years in intense sexual bliss.

Five years later he & i are dear friends, and i am grateful that he rode in on his white horse to rescue what shreds of sanity i had left.

Awesome payoff after such a horrid 11 years. I basically lived in the roommate house of horrors. But finding him surprisingly made it all worth it.

I wish i could write it all down. I am just not a funny writer though the stories are hair raising & hilarious in hindsight.

That thar house was HAUNTED. No lie.

Lelaina Pierce said...

@Ivs - Your story was my favorite. :)

I got pretty lucky with most of my college roommates and I'm still friends with all of them. I still kind of miss living with girl(s). I did have an incident my freshman year w/ one girl and moved out, but it's really nothing in comparison to these stories. My best friend's post-college roommate would leave the door open when he had sex and she later discovered he was dealing drugs. Good times.





Me said...

mother of mary! these stories make me cringe. nothing bad enough to compare with any of your stories. messy, borrow clothes w/o asking.

there was this one time in college. i was really sick, like the MD had to come to my room and i was almost sent home sick. my roommate didn't date much (the main reason she wanted to room with me was because i was more social). anywhoo, she ran onto a guy i had dated, and he suggested a double date, so she said yes. when these guys showed up, i was literally crying because i felt so sick. the 3 of them hung out all night. i slept on and off, barfed a few times. they were barfing at the end too, from drinking too much. its kind of funny now, because its so stupid. no grown-up would want to be near a sick person, much less hang out and party with them.