Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Random Photos Part One

Five parts today. One Direction have the obligatory Tweener is huge so must have a movie coming out. Today is the big premiere.

Olivia Wilde with the next in line for a Sharknado type movie. Catnado.
Aubrey Plaza rests her head on Amy Poehler's breasts.
Must have dog in official family photo. I believe it might even be a law in England. Photographers used to bring one with them. You could choose between a hunting dog or something more domestic. Puppies were extra.
Robert Pattinson is all smiles filming his movie while
Kristen Stewart does Kristen Stewart aka sullen and brooding. Not breeding though.
Selena Gomez wants you to know how tough she has it because of the ice packs. She just made $1M before getting on the private jet and is having McDonald's.
Taylor Swift on the last stop of her Red tour which has been going on for about 8 years.
Stella Hudgens gets ready for cold and flu season. Vanessa shows her how to do it with just a coat.

30 comments:

Della said...

Taylor looks good.

Why does she need ice packs?

Sugar said...

Aubrey Plaza looks like Jodi Arias. I noticed the resemblance when I saw the commercials for that movie she made, The To Do List.
:-)

Cleodacat said...

I am waiting for the Count's comment about Selena icing her knees.

Cleodacat said...

And maybe another one of his stories....

Rose said...

I can't think of her name but The Duchess looks lovely in that photo. I feel for Prince William, he always looks so awkward and that is how I look in photos. Like I don't know how to smile.

8=====D - RememberKermitGosnell said...

I don't think is OK mocking the Windsor's love for dogs the day Barack Hussein has introduced his new dog on twitter.

I kinda like Swifty, but I don't think she is hot. That's good news because if I ever dated her, she would finish up being nuts on any reason.

I don't know that miss Plaza, except for an award ceremony when she was drunk. This lady, contrary to Swifty, does make my dong boner-ed.

8=====D - RememberKermitGosnell said...

Yes, Kate Middleton is a real (royal?) MILF.

Jessie said...

That's a lot of ice. I'm assuming it's to present injury. Seriously a lot of ice.

Pazazz said...

I have the shirt Olivia has on

Seven of Eleven said...

@Kermit, clever!

Count Jerkula said...

Gaddam, here's a tough one. Lemme try to break it down

Wilde: + Lean and sexy, prolly skilled at boning. - 5head & maybe to skinny

Poehler/Plaza tag team: + 2 fun, creative broads, best of both worlds thing with a milf and a bim, Plaza does stupid things when liquored up. - attractive, yet not stunning.

Kate: I'd be happy to have her, but nothing about her really stands out. I'd rather stare at Pippa's butt. PASS

KStew: + Pretty face, young & tender body, I've gotten to see screen caps of everything but the snizzz and I would like to see it. - Pissy bitch, prolly dead fish lay, unless you really fuck with her head.

Gomez: + very pretty, young & tender body. - allegedly not into sex, been tainted by Beiber

Swifty: Flat out PASS. She aint even the water girl on this team of trim.

Hudgens Sisters tag team: + They're friggin sisters!!!, both tiny and cute, seen Vanessa's nudes and would be happy to bone that, much less throw a veritable twin into the mix. - Since I'm not loaded, I don't think they would put much effort in. High probability of double dead fish in the bed.

So now it is time to pare down the list. Kate gone, Wilde gone, Swifty gone. That leave P/P, KStew, Gomez, and H2HO. So my list for today's Random Photos 1 is:

Gomez: We all knew that was gonna happen. Bim is adorable and a challenge.

Poehler/Plaza: You know damn well that with the right amount of liquor, that would be a great party to be in.

KStew: Another challenge, and since she exudes an "I get off on misery" vibe, I wouldn't mind accommodating.

That is right, I'm passing on a sister/sister 3sum. I'm getting older and need more recovery time. I doubt either of them could hold an adult conversation and if I attempt to drink/drug myself numb to the yapping, I may nod off and not get to rounds 2 & 3.

babo said...

@cleodacat: literotica.com is waiting for you

Count Jerkula said...

@Cleo: Eh, same thing athletes do to quickly reduce any swelling, so they can be ready for the next day.

With the hatin on sex reveal, I doubt she give the on her knees, hands grabbin dude's ass while she's going to town BJs. You know, the sloppy birthday kind.

I figure it is more like layin on the bed, kinda grabbing the cock, looking up at the dude w/ "I can't believe you're making me do this" in her eyes, jerking him hard, no licking, no attention to the balls. Then death grip on it, just below the head to act as both a bump stop for her face and a cock ring so she don't risk getting jizz in her mouth, eyes closed thinking of her happy place, and lots of "Are you close?" cause she's either planing on releasing her grip then diving away or angling it so he shoots on his belly. I don't think she would go toothy to make it bad, just put in as little effort as possible, so it seems like she cares.

I know she was alleged to be the Disney BJ queen or something, but that was then, when she was using her mouth to get more attention from guys than the other chick (Hudgens?).

YourNameHere said...

Whoa Taylor Swift reminds me of old school Christina Augilera in this photo!

I feel bad for the other guys in One Direction. That one kid to the far right is the only face I recognize because he is everywhere on everything. The others not so much. I don't even know their names, just that one Harry kid.

califblondy said...

Thanks for the reminder, I made a promise for the One Direction movie. Damn.

Peter said...

The captions for photos have gotten even more idiotic and humorless.. it can't be just me?

Renoblondee said...

Taylor does look great!

NaughtyNurse said...

Will and Kate look genuinely nice and happy. Good for them!

Lissa said...

Taylor always looks so skinny and lanky to me. And what's with those dorky jazz shoes? Put on some heels and own the stage like the real pros do it.

di butler said...

I'd rather fuck the corpse of Johnathan Swift, than Taylor Swift. Ugh. I wouldn't scissor her with Paltrow's twat.

Brady88 said...

I'd be pissed off too if there were cameras in my face as often as they get in kstews face. She doesn't court it like lohan or stodden or any of the other pap ho's enty gives us daily updates about, even if all they did was go outside.

Count Jerkula said...

Wow Di, that is some imagery. 2 blondes with the muscle tone of veal, both rumored to be stage 5 clingers, and not a bit of sexual energy between them. It might be a match. Their celeb couple name could be SwiftGoop.

bar fly said...

When are you writing another porn rant?! I feel like im pouting but damn...that Selena story was awesome. Do you have a blog? Do you secretly write for Club? ;)

Audrey said...

@ Count you are a pathetic man. I real man, that's really getting some, doesn't or can't spend the time telling us gossip bloggists what you want to do with whom.

In my eyes, you come off as completely pathetic person and an attention whore. You used to add some interesting posts/opinions, but lately, it's all about who you want to do. Please...who's your audience? If it's me, an urban feminist, you lost me...your schtick is boring and is nothing I haven't heard before.

You no longer add anything to the discourse in this blog.

Audrey said...

Correction - you no longer add anything of relevance to the comments. Go jerk off in sock...

Count Jerkula said...

I don't know Bar Fly. I don't get paid for this stuff and I haven't found any body parts in my inbox in quite sometime. Maybe one of the broads around here should take one for the team and send me some pixxx. Just write cdan or count or jerkula or something identifiable so I know you are scumming pics from the net. Only takes a couple minutes to make a gmail acct and be anonymous.

Anyone who sends dirty pics can submit a request with them. Dirty sex with this celeb, sweet luv with that one, etc. One pic one request.

Count Jerkula said...

You gotta troll better than that, Honey Buns. Yer not gonna make me write more fantasy scenarios by negative reinforcement. You can send yer tits in like the rest of them if you want more material to finger bang to.

Any and all pixxx will remain private.

Cookies said...

Aubrey Plaza's boots are atrocious.

Kristin Stewart - I like her.

Taylor Swift - she's adorable.

PugsterMom said...

Are we supposed to feel sorry for poor Selena in her private jet raking in her millions? Cuz I so DON'T.

Henriette said...

Looks like Swifty got her boobs enlarged. She used to be two backs.