Sunday, December 01, 2013

Blind Items Revealed

September 23, 2010

This aging B list television actor had some requests in his most recent contract. One was that the producers pay about $100K a year to a woman who is by our actor's side all the time. Everyone thought it was a woman he was sleeping with but it turns out she is his professional toupee handler. She is in charge of making sure his hair is never out of place and carries a suitcase which contains ten other rugs all in different shades for different weather and his moods.

William Shatner

54 comments:

Cleodacat said...

Enty, this is the second time you've made me spit my coffee this morning!!! Keep it up!

Renoblondee said...

Hahahah!

Sherry said...

Hey at least he's not cheating on his wife huh? Perhaps the Shat can introduce Jude Law to his toupee master?

Jennabean said...

Bwa-haaahaa. That's frickin funny. If girls can change our hair whenever we want why can't he too?

Nemesis said...

Poor Bill! His hair always does look great though.

Poni-Tayl said...

So Ridiculous & a waste of money that could be better used

Seven of Eleven said...

Wise investments for professional toupee handlers.

elan said...

Someone should mention to him that looking a bit wind blown at times makes for a more natural look and is a lot less expensive.

JSierra said...

Sign me up!

FrenchGirl said...

LOL 2

Amy said...

Money well spent. Really. He always looks good and it's no small reason why he still gets work.

sandybrook said...

He probably cant get it up fir his wife on a regular basis now so he doesn't need a mistress

Pip said...

I want that job!

msgirl said...

I think that's kind of sweet. He's not cheating!

Count Jerkula said...

Howard Stern always has his wig tender hired by who ever he is working for.

Funniest thing Rev Bob Levy ever said was when he called Howard "a praying mantis in a wig."

Lola said...

Bill Shatner has been, and always will be, A list all of the way.

lazyday603 said...

So Captain Kirk was suffering from hairpiece all those years ago.

L said...

Wait! Howard Stern has a WIG?!?!?!
I thought such unfortunate looking hair [mine is just as curly] would have to be natural.. no way!!
Pictures?

Count Jerkula said...

@L: That is why he couldn't jump in the pool to say his dog who couldn't swim, the chlorinated water would have fucked up his wig.

Dude is 100years old and expects everyone to believe his hair has gotten darker and thicker in the past 20 years. Gimme a break.

Also, Howard is self hating and loves to project. All the bad mouthing of Charles Grodin's toupee back in the day was probably around the time Howard was bitter for having to get one.

8=====D - KermitGosnellKnobJockey said...

Funny.
Until now I always mixed up this dude's name with Jean Luc Picard's. Thanks to this, I will never forget that he is J.Tiberius Kirk.

timebob said...

Howard Stern does not wear a wig, his grandfather had a full head of hair at 90. His hair stylist Toni is just very good at hiding the greys he posted a picture of him and Beth on Twitter and he had a lot of grey in it. No wig no dye jobs.

Shatner has been wearing wigs since the Star Trek days. He is just of that era and vanity.

timebob said...

A few years ago Howard was on Letterman and David and Howard pulled back on each others hair to show no wigs.

Any other comments are just ignorance.

Meanie Rhysie said...

Flipped wig above^.

NaughtyNurse said...

Hey, at least he makes sure the people he employs are taken care of.

TalksTooMuch said...

Well, it's not like she had to carry his purse or anything, right, Sally?

lostathome said...

U wot m8

I wan her job.

texas rose said...

Was she credited in the movie as a 'hair wrangler'??

MISCH said...

We thought it was Piven

TalksTooMuch said...

That is one expensive fluffer

Count Jerkula said...

Timebob: Please stop showing how ignorant you are. If Howard told you grass was red you would eat it up. He also says he doesn't dye his hair, how do you explain its transformation from brown to dark black?

Rev Bob is the only one close enough who wasn't an employee, so didn't have a non-disclosure agreement, and he confirmed it is a wig.

I bet you think Beth wrote that shit book herself too? And that it was a best seller because people like her, not because Howard bought a shit load and gave them to the North Shore Animal rip off.

Count Jerkula said...

This wrestling stripper didn't get the memo not to touch his hair. in the Channel 9 Show days, his hair line was back to the top of his dome.

SFW

And there are more recent pictures I've seen, where on a windy NYC day, his entire fucking wig was off kilter on top of his dome.

timebob said...

@Count since you admit you haven't listened to the show in years you don't know what you are talking about

For someone who hates him so much you sure do have a hard on for him, you might want to talk to someone about these feelings you have for him might help.

Howard isn't trying to be a heart throb he readily admits all he has is his hair and pretty feet.

timebob said...

and your 'big proof' you can clearly see his hairline. Fail, try again.

Sara said...

timebob, you know about his nosejob, right?

TalksTooMuch said...

Wow, I think if anyone has a hard-on for Stern, it ain't the count.

Count Jerkula said...

The nose job he lied for years about, the stupid sheep falling lock step in line going after people who pointed out the obvious, then he admitted to? Timebim gonna have an excuse for that.

Timebim, I listened since he was first on NBC, during the shows glory days, when it was great. The show is pure shit now. It is The View, with withered junk instead of crusty old cunts.

I don't need to listen to know this. Sal, Richard and Shuli couldn't write a funny bit with guns to their heads. If I am so wrong, then by all means, give me a date and time stamp of the funniest element in the recent past and I'll go to the .tw and listen to it.

As I have said in the past, I take every opportunity to talk shit about Howard, his transformation into decrepit Imus and his gold digging moron wife Beth O, Beth Oats, Beth Stern, Beff Stern, Show Horse, because his vapid, dipshit wife checks her Google alerts every night before bed, so it will give her something to yap about. Ya know that dunce has AGT Audience member on her IMDB page? Is that laughable or what?

Someone tell Mutt at SFN that a sheep got loose. SFN, the most heavily censored message board I ever been on. The one that lost 3/4 of its members because Howard threw down the edict, "Suck my asshole or I'll cut your access."

In closing, How do you know Howard is a worthless sack of shit? His 2 oldest daughters have as little to do with him and the Queen of the Vapid as they possibly can.

Count Jerkula said...

@TTM: Timebim is what fans of the old Stern Show call sheep. They blindly follow and they eat up every spoon full of bullshit Howard feeds them. The moderators on the SternFanNetwork got so bad at one point 3/4 of the site left. Some committed board suicide by badmouthing Stern, some sent repeated requests that their account be deleted.

That is Howard's target demo now though, broads between 35-65. They eat up scripted phony phone calls and talk about American Idol.

Angela said...

Almost everybody in Star Trek, the original series wore a hairpiece of some short. Some because they were balding, some because it's easier to put a wig than to readjust real hair that has to deal with the heat from the lighting (Gates McFadden on TNG was asked to get a wig when she returned to the show), some because it was just faster to have a very particular hairstyle they wouldn't want to adopt in real life.

Shatner had thinning hair for decades, long before Star Trek actually. Stage actors wear wigs all the time, by the way, and nobody in the audience has ever asked for a refund because of it. It's only because of the close-ups and the rise of the star system that we want our actors to look in real life like the characters they play on screen.

tara17 said...

That's another reason Patrick F Stewart rules. Rockin his bald head since his early 20s.

Seven of Eleven said...

I've heard clips of Stern maybe twice in my life (not a fan) so I have no horse in this race, but this line cracked me up:

Ya know that dunce has AGT Audience member on her IMDB page?

Went over to IMDB and it's true!

America's Got Talent (TV Series) 2012
Herself - Audience Member
- Episode dated 14 May 2012 (2012) ... Herself - Audience Member (uncredited)
- Los Angeles Auditions (2012) ... Herself - Audience Member (uncredited)


She even listed herself as an audience member for the auditions. Working girl for sure.

timebob said...

@Sara yes Howard had a nose job to shave down his bump during private parts and got lipo under his chin. He said the lipo was the more painful procedure. It was part of staff reveals when they moved to Sirius.

I don't give a shit if people are fans or not he isn't for everybody. I just can not stand when people like Count just spew bullshit to think they know something when they don't. Just ignorance. And spell my fake name right when you insult me asshole.

timebob said...

@TTM yes he does and this has been the world's longest dumbest debate I have ever had on this site

People that hate Howard the most are the most obsessed with him

Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...

Made me think of that old Dick Van Dyke episode where Laura went on a game show, and got tricked into revealing Alan Brady was bald.

He had his whole set of wigs: The "needs a haircut" wig, the fresh haircut wig, others in between.

Count Jerkula said...

@Timebim: I was a devout fan from 1984 to the Xmas Artie left. What ensued was the final straw for me. Howard is reaping what he sowed. He loved the rabid fans when he was taking down Zoo Keepers, Bon Jovi, Chevy Chase, et al. Now that all those rabid fans saw the light after the Sirius Pump and Dump, and the constant repeats, the editing of classic shows, 3 day work weeks, constant vacation, etc, we have turned against him.

He has put ZERO effort into the show since he didn't get the subscriber bonus he delusionally thought he deserved. He no longer runs a comedy show, he runs a cross between Imus and The View.

You are attempting to dump out of this debate, because you have no evidence to present. I asked for something funny, you gave me nothing. All you are doing is saying, "You're wrong, I'm right" and stomping your foot.

Fred and Booey are the only ones on the show I have any respect for, because them poor schmucks probably didn't start making real money until the move to Sirius, so they have to bite their tongues and be cool with putting out sub-standard material.

First 5 in the Stern Show Hall of Fame:

1) Sam Kinison
2) Jessica Hahn
3) Dice Clay
4) Pat Cooper
5) Gilbert Gottfried

Top 5 Wack Packers

1) Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf
2) Beetlejuice
3) Fred the Elephant Boy
4) Crackhead Bob
5) Debbie Tay, the Space Lesbian

Best Bit Series

1) I Love Lucy Meets....
2) Mr Ed Meets....
3) Homo Room
4) Sternac
5) Fartman

You can fool your self that Stern is still putting out quality content, but don't fool yourself that I don't know what I'm talking about.

Count Jerkula said...

Just cause timebob really annoyed me, here is where you can listen to an archive of the Stern Show w/o wasting money on Sirius. It starts on 1-9-06. It is a Taiwan domain and I guess it is out of the reach of Howard's attorney's. This site has been up and running for quite a while now.

You can also view all 69 Channel 9 shows and the Butt Bongo Fiesta Tape by clicking the link on the top of the page.

If you feel the need to listen live, search for it on Shoutcast.com.

fancyscreenname said...

Ho...Lee...shit...
Thanks for that William. Your dedication to your rugs made my day.

timebob said...

point proven.

Count Jerkula said...

You didn't prove anything, timebim. You offered nothing tangible to support your claims that the show is as good as ever.

Tell me the last really funny bit or conversation, so I can find it, listen and be enlightened.

You keep your head buried in the sand. If Howard went back to terrestrial radio, he wouldn't pull the ratings Normie and Chime Time get on WFAN.

Pip said...

I never heard of the space lesbian or elephant boy. You forgot high pitch Eric!

Count Jerkula said...

High Pitch Eric is garbage. He isn't worth his weight in shit. On a message board, he threatened to stab when I dimed out the reason why his mother cut him out of her will. If she actually left him anything, all the people who hold judgements against him would have assets to go after. If I ever lay eyes on him, one of us is getting locked up.

Elephant Boy may be the OG Wack Packer. Speech Impediment Christmas Carol, w/ Quentin the Stutterer and some Tourette's chick. Score keeper at US Open Sores. I think they did Speech Impediment Dial a Date with him too.

Elephant Boy in studio debut(audio only)

New Year's Rotten Eve. If I remember correctly Debbie Tay was the 1st runner up to hottie Elaina Beisty for Miss Howard Stern. Debbie died not too long after, maybe a year at most.

di butler said...

@Count, the other day Howard had Beth on for over an HOUR talking about rescue kittens and giving them away. No "girls on all fours, naked, crawling after a hotdog tied to a stick. Lol. Its family friendly Howard now.

di butler said...

Burberry should make an all weather "Furberry" for men, hair piece for men.

Rach Around said...

Does he have a merkin groomer? I wish I had someone to hair check me before I leave the house.

Orvilla Bedinbacher said...

That is fucking cool. Shatner is on point!