Tuesday, August 26, 2008

An Open Letter To Denise Richards


Dear Denise,

August isn't really your month is it? First came the official announcement that your reality show and only source of income outside of Charlie Sheen and Bollywood is drying up. I'm actually kind of sorry that your show won't be on television anymore. Not because I won't get to see you anymore, but because I really like your sister and her husband. I was hoping that if the network gave you another year that they could just move in with you also. I mean they were the best part of the show all year.

Then comes the news that Charlie is having a baby with his new wife Brooke Mueller. That one kind of stung huh? You wanted Charlie to get you pregnant again, and instead he got Brooke pregnant, or she tricked Charlie into getting her pregnant. I'm not sure exactly how that worked. All I know is that Brooke managed to get the golden ticket. Now that Charlie is going to have a baby with Brooke, a lot of the attention is going to swing away from you.

Charlie is going to be in the cover of People with Brooke and the baby. Not you. Charlie will be out and about looking like a great dad for all the world to see. No one will be listening to you whining about how he is a bad dad, because he will be out in public so much showing what kind of dad he is.

I figure there will be only so much of this you will take so you will plot, and plot and either end up sleeping with Emilio or Joe Francis. I haven't quite worked all this out in my head yet. With all of this free time you can at least get your dogs trained and let your assistant go. I mean what does he really have to do? He cleans up dog crap and listens to you whine about the quality of the free clothes people are giving you.

Hopefully the lack of television cameras will not be the demise of your dad living with you. He seems like he needs the company, and without him, I'm not sure your daughters would have any family around because it appears as if he is the only one who watches them. Oh, and the multiple nannies we always see in the background.

Anyway, next month you probably won't have any work or a job or anything, but at least it won't be August. Hey, and you still have that big Bollywood opening to look forward to and the return of the Surreal Life.

17 comments:

Ice Angel said...

Well...if Denise waits about 9-12 months, I'm sure she can run the circuit with Brooke when she dumps Charlie's ass for gambling away all his money and watching kiddie porn.

Anonymous said...

Do you really think she'll go away? If there aren't any cameras, does Denise Richards exist?

kris said...

LOL @ ace...good point.

lutefisk said...

She is starting to look very manly.
Someone get her a new make-up artist fast.

califblondy said...

I'm sure she'll come up with something. You can't keep a good ho down.

Moosefan said...

She can still sell A$$ in Nevada. Heidi is always looking for new girls and she remembers what Charlie liked so...
Love this rant from Enty though...Denise needs to just go somewhere and be an ex-wife and spend the money in quiet. That, and let the grandparents see their granddaughters-Bit$$, they did nothing to those kids.

Anonymous said...

I used to like Denise thought she was sweet but when she went nut-so over Charlie....

I am surprise Charlie never had a judge give her one of those mental tests to see if she was right on the head lol.

PunkiMeowMeow said...

She could always try for DWTS next season.

califblondy said...

Sylvia, I used to like her too. I thought she was so pretty and had a sweet personality.

I don't think Charlie is perfect, but Denise is whacked. When I heard that his new wife was pregnant, the first thing I thought was Charlie had better be very careful 'cuz his ex will think up something to get back at him.

Anonymous said...

Enty, good rant, but leave Emilio out of it. He had to put up with Paula Abdul for a couple of years, no reason to torture him with Denise, now.

mooshki said...

DN, Emilio came into Dayton's once while I was working and was very nice to my friend who waited on him. :) People who treat minimum-wage workers with respect always get props from me.

Anonymous said...

Cali, I thought the same thing too bad she ended up having this Dr. Jekyll and Hyde personality.

Unknown said...

This begs the question, What has Emilio been up to these days?

Anonymous said...

mooshki, and I think that was during his relationship with Paula. Mighty Ducks 1-3 era?

bionic bunny! said...

emilio was always my favorite!

but i was always on charlie's side on this thing. he's been pretty straight forward since the whole heidi fleiss trial, and that took guts. even on his show, he plays himself. and if he was such a bad daddy, why did she go back to him??
i wish he and brooke luck.

Unknown said...

Denise is not hurting for money, she got a huge settlement which is going to be about 52 million dollars over 20 years. $52 million. She doesn't need to work, her kids won't ever need to work, and possibly their kids either.

It's not that she needs money, she needs attention, badly and if it's at Charley's or the kids expense - so be it. She is selfish, and a narcisist - if she hurts everyone around her for attention she doesn't care.

mooshki said...

"I think that was during his relationship with Paula. Mighty Ducks 1-3 era?"

Yep. Choosing to go with "Estevez" instead of "Sheen" really turned out to be a good choice for him, didn't it? :)

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