If It's Monday, It Must Be Verne Troyer Sex Tape Day

A website in China today started selling the Verne Troyer sex tape online. For only $9.95 you to can enjoy the fun filled goodness of Verne having sex with Ranae Shrider. Now, if you believe Ranae which I really don't, she was stopped outside the home she shares with the tongued one and offered $5,000 for the tape by a total stranger. She accepted. That is the biggest pile of crap in the world. She is definitely getting a piece of the action from the website. Yeah, sue me, I don't care. There is no way you are going to just run into a stranger on the street and he says I'll give you $5,000 for the tape and then you run inside and get it off the refrigerator where Verne can't reach it and bring it outside and say thanks.

What she did was probably give it to a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who set up this Chinese website so we can all watch Verne get down and dirty. So, I am going to give you the link, and if anyone buys it, you have to do a review of it. I want to know if you ever get aroused while watching it, or if it is more like that feeling when you are sitting in the dentist chair before anyone comes to start working on your mouth. You know that feeling right? The one you dread even just thinking about? The one that makes you shiver. Can you smell that lead apron they throw on you for the x-rays? I can. The feel of the film in your mouth. OK, so is that what the Verne Troyer sex tape feels like because I have a feeling it is.

It's About This Big

So, there certainly seems to be something funny going on here. On the one hand you have Verne Troyer suing TMZ for $20M saying that his reputation was damaged, and on the other hand you have his current, still live-in girlfriend on radio and television morning shows talking all about the sex tape and Mini-Me's Mini-Me. In an interview with a Tampa morning show Ranae Shrider said it was proportionate for a man 2 foot 8. Well what does that mean exactly? So, it is about half size? Are we comparing it to someone who is average or some well below the average like me?

Anyway, she says the sex tape was stolen from their apartment. Nothing else was stolen except the tape which was marked Sex-Tape, Please Steal Me.

I think the only reason Verne Troyer sued anyone is that he was pissed that his sex tape was only worth $100,000. By the time you get done with taxes, agents and Ranae, there isn't going to be much of that left. So, instead he sues TMZ for more money then he has earned or will earn in his life, and seems to forget that his reputation isn't that stellar anyway.

My guess is that if someone raises that $100,000 to about $250,000 that all of a sudden the stolen tape will be promoted non-stop by Verne and the lawsuits will just magically disappear.