Friday, September 07, 2007

Fashion Rocks--Extra Extra Snarky

I want you to remember this is Fashion Rocks which takes place during Fashion week, and many of these people want to be or have been models. Maybe the photographers were pissed at everyone because J-Lo didn't share what she had or something, but these people for the most part look awful. They should just be grateful it wasn't in LA and in the sunshine or they would even look worse.

With all that being said Alicia Keys looks amazing. She's lost some weight and love the long hair and dress and if I thought she could take all 400 hairy pounds of me I would go for it.

Carrie Underwood is nothing special and not as innocent as she would lead you to believe.
What the hell happened to Carmen Electra's face? Seriously. I like Carmen and it's like something happened since last week and she's aged twenty years.
Ashanti is hiding the 20 extra pounds well. It was about 30 pounds and she's been working like a mad woman to burn it all off. Weight gain will happen if you are living with a guy who has the munchies almost 24 hours a day.
Don't you feel like the last time you saw Ashlee Simpson smile was back in the 3rd grade when it was Jessica's turn with Daddy.
There are no words to describe this look. Remember, Avril wants to be a model, and someone told her ugly zebra striped ass that she looked good and then she agreed with them. She's got stripes on the top and the bottom and probably underneath also. This has to go in the top ten ugliest looks of all times at any show, premiere, opening, anything. It is horrible and can't believe she's even smiling. When she got home after everyone laughed, her husband probably got his tiny ass beat.
This look used to be artificially contrived, now I think it's what she smokes, and lots of it. Everyday, all day.

tick, tick, tick. Plus you wore that last year.
When Jessica Alba pulls her hair back it just makes her look even more skinny and bony because she's emphasizing the fact that she has no fat anywhere on her body. Not that I still wouldn't take a shot and not that
50 Cent didn't take his own shot also.
Glad to see Fergie is back to being her ugly, man looking self because if I had to be nice to her two days in a row, would probably have had to take whatever J-Lo's taking.
This dress Mischa's wearing doesn't even fit. I'm not even going to show you how hideous the back looks. Did she really tell the designer, "OMG, I love this dress."

Even one of my favorites Lee Ann Rimes looks terrible. What the hell is going on with her eyes? It's like she's got Avril's raccoon eye thing going on.
Who knew Kimora had six chins. Just recounting. There are six.
I read something last week that said Kat DeLuna was going to be bigger than Jennifer Lopez. Right now she's just a bigger mess, and take into account that Jennifer is one big freaking mess.
"Hey ladies, who wants to be first tonight with The Piv."
50, LL, and Ludacris look great. They really should be on the top with Alicia.

You know that it is a crap day when Teri Hatcher actually looks good compared to everyone else.
Tyra looks amazing. Finally a model who gets it and knows what to wear and how to wear it. Not that she does it all the time. She can be a big mess too.
If you are wondering what happened to Luka, Suzanne Vega ate him.
Nicole looks like a Brady Bunch episode, but it kind of looks decent. I always think she can be pretty when she tries. If she wasn't such a bitch since she gave up drinking and drugs, she would almost be a pleasant date.


jlb said...

Yer right Ent - some very unappealing people. I'm rather embarrassed Avril's Canadian.

Fabiola Thing said...

Looks like Jennifer Lopez bought herself a nice pair of boobies.

princessj1987 said...

Ent, what juicy info do you have on Carrie Underwood??

april said...

I think Carrie Underwood is the answer to a BI some time ago about a blonde country star who had recently 'grown a personality' after discovering coke.

Lee Ann Rimes looks like Carrot Top's fugly sister. Yikes!

Reese said...

A lot of bad Hollywood mugshots are better than these pictures. Carmen Electra looks like Fergie; Fergie looks like one of the ugliest men I've ever seen. Those photogs must be seriously annoyed with these people!

Calla said...

OMG...the "Piv" comment had me laughing!! He looks like warm buttered ass!! :-D

donna said...

thanks ent for making my day .. I was laughing during the whole post .. and really, what is up with kimora's chins? and arent fiddy and alba on the down low?

klown said...

reese, I thought Carmen Electra was Fergie until I read Ent's caption.

Same thing with Carry Underwood, I thought she was LC.

Fabiola Thing said...

arent fiddy and alba on the down low?


michele said...

damn, who knew Alicia would look that pretty? i'd take me some of LL, he looks HOT!

__-__=__ said...

Good lord! Did Amy Winehouse do the makeup?!?!?! This is some seriously bad stuff. And nobody could choose a color other than black or white. That's just insane. Somebody tell Ashanti to put on a slip, please. Let Carmen know she's too old for ruffles and lace - even if someone told her she looked 20 years younger after they did that to her face! Lee Ann Rimes and Kimora are both doing their best impression of Bugs Bunny. And the Posh hair will just not work for Kat DeLuna. Yes, a mess! And what is that clown outfit Piven is wearing.

Alicia Keys always looks amazing. She has awesome style sense.

But everyone else needs to step away from the bong!!!

I'll go home now. Have a nice weekend everyone!

Tracee said...

Damn! Kimora got a bologna neck going on! And Alba looks like a alien. What's happening to her.

Janele said...

Lemme tell ya - JLo must practice that look in the mirror. Does she really think she looks that great?? said...

I think most all of those people are stoned.

kellysirkus said...

that is the Fugliest tux EVER!

Calla said...

Regarding the Piv:
It's like he's the biggest douchebag that fell from the tallest douchebag tree in douchebag land, and as he fell he hit every douchebag branch on the way down, and landed on a douchebag.*

*stolen from a TWOP poster, but seems apt for reuse here. ;)

bluegirl said...

Ha ha Janele, so true, that JHo "look" REALLY needs to be retired. And yep, either she's had a later life growth spurt or she's just bought herself a new chest.

I've never heard of Kat Deluna but that girl needs to smile. Or is she goin with a badass thing?

Can't stand Tyra, but have to admit she looks fabulous, darling!

DivineJoy said...

You weigh 400 lbs? Amazing how you make bad comments about celebs with your fat ass. LOL!

michele said...

I don't think Alicia looks good most of the time, at the VMA's she looked awful and looks like she gained at least 10 lbs between this picture and the VMA's.

Virgo74 said...

Alicia Keys does look fab!! I see she covered up those awful chest hairs!

Never liked Carrie Underwood.

Carmen Elecktra is soo irrelevant right now! I think she was the BI that EL had posted a while back about the tax returns where the entertainer had to borrow against her house and stuff. Does anyone reminder that post?

Ashanti is the new miss fucks for tracks! What a shame.

Ashlee Simpson is in love and happy! I am happy for her! But soo sad for Jessica. She made a mistake when she divorced Nick.

Jennifer "I don't have my girdle on" Hudson. She looks a fat mess.

Jessica Alba is really wasting away! She needs to surround herself with more positive people! I am disappointed that she does not acknowledge anymore the Latina side, being as though her mom is a Mexican and all. Her dad is French! Get into Hollywood and forget who you are.


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