Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Mariah Carey Topless


Obviously Mariah Carey saw all of the recent beach photos taken from very long telephoto lenses and decided she wanted some of that action. Of course, she doesn't want the world to see what she doesn't want them to see, so she carefully arranged this. A photographer who gets within five feet of her on a private beach as she just happens to be topless. There are no photos before or after, just this one. Oh, and how convenient that she has a magazine and a glass covering up her breasts.

The problem with stage photo ops is that you can't then as a celebrity complain about being swarmed by paparazzi. You can't pretend to have one and not have the other. It just doesn't work that way. Also, she thinks she is being very clever, but she better hope that photographer really did only take one picture or the world is going to see more than just Mimi being emancipated. We are going to see her two girls Gigi and Fifi. Oh, (see there it is again) you didn't know that Mariah named her breasts. Yep. I don't remember which is which. I know they are alphabetical, but I don't know if she started with the left or the right breast and if it is the right one facing us or her.

25 comments:

Nicola said...

She's still rockin' the painted on abs I see....SMH

p m said...

but @ least she looks good

michele said...

she looks great, i love her crazy ass!

Jolara said...

Gosh, I don't know why, but I have never liked her. Beautiful voice, but tacky attention whore personality. Sorry.
To me, she is like fingernails scratching down a blackboard...teeth sliding across a fork...

brendalove@gmail.com said...

She kind of looks like Lohan there

selenakyle said...

I thought the same thing, nicola. Gawd, don't I wish I had someone to paint up my (non-existant) abs every day!

spasuzy said...

She's going to have some weird tan lines/circles with that bigazz chunky necklace...

Kory said...

Who cares? Another pair of fake boobs. At least now they match her chipmunk cheeks.

wtf said...

She looks so fat in clothes, but here she looks normal? How does that work.

Still don't like her.

Suzy said...

Her photoshopper slash photographer did wonders with her rib cage. She has none.

Also, the bikini bottom. If you look closely you can see her real tan line, several FEET above her new one.

Angela said...

Since Da Brat was also on this vacation, I wonder where her stage picture is. She probably has nothing on except for a strategically place Moet bottle.

Judi said...

As if she's ever complained of too many paps.
Yeah, Gigi and Fifi are fake and, pipes aside, her demeanor's so affected. Shame really. She was such a nice girl when she started out.

Twisted Sister said...

wtf, she's lost weight...otherwise you can bet your ass nobody would have "caught" (cough, cough) her like this.

I suppose Gigi and Fifi are better than Cuff and Link, but must we?

Kat said...

I'm pretty much over Mariah. Not that I was ever 'on' her, but you get the idea. She's got an outrageous voice, but she's become a cartoon character of herself and isn't known as much for her voice now as she is for her craziness.

I'm sensing a trend.

Kara said...

Mariah and Janet Jackson have the same thing goin' on. They gain weight in between albums and then lose it all for the requisite photo ops to drum up interest right before their album drops.

Those painted on abs aren't fooling anyone. She is sucking in and tightening the abs she does have pretty good though.

Twisted Sister said...

Oh my God! I had no idea she was trying to paint on a six pack...lmao!!! Like this whole thing wasn't staged. How pathetic!

Tracee said...

Brendababy, she looks like Blohan BEFORE the bloat.

Painted abs or not, mama's body looks bangin. Shit, she's pops lots of Cris, but I don't see a beer keg.

On another note, is Da Brat hittin that? I know she ain't strictly dickly.

Twisted Sister said...

Speaking of Da Brat, if I had heard someone from Fit Club was having an affair with Harvey, I would have put money down that it was her and NOT Kimberly Locke.

Tracee....lmao...your post reads like a Ted Casablanca blind. I love it!

noel said...

She is just trying to show Eminem what he is missing...

(heeheehee)

Majik said...

Who the fuck wears bling to the beach?

God, how I hate her...wasn't she the answer to the blind about the celeb who's weight loss wasn't diet and exercise, like she claimed, but was surgically enhanced? I lost a LOT of weight, and I have stretch marks and saggy skin cuz I can't afford a body tuck. Moomoo can...looks like she did, too.

God, how I hate her....did I mention that I hate her? What I'm really trying to say here....is that I hate her.

MissBliss said...

Damn. Im not much of a fan but she has a great body, with or without the painted abs.

theinvisiblesun said...

The girl is just drop dead fine. And me being a realist I never seen a perfect person in my life. All the so called flab can be worked off in just a few nights with me. You uggs out their need to chill the girl is beyond normal hot to flame. Dont Hate.

iluvny said...

Isn't Derek Jeter somewhere over in the Islands for the Michael Jordon event thing? You know Mariah flipped out over Jeter when he dumped her. She's probably trying to stalk him and show him what he missed.

ladorabelle said...

Her first album was the first CD I ever bought. I loved it at the time. I loved her music for a while, actually. Somewhere along the way she became a caricature of herself.

Does anyone want to offer their ab-airbrushing skills? I'll hold beach-side interviews soon.

Jerry said...

Great voice.
Attention whore.
Fake boobies.

One out of three ain't enough. No thanks.