Friday, June 06, 2008

Your Turn

I had something all planned for Your Turn and then I read a comment from someone in yesterday's Random Photos about them being undressed visually by Margaret Cho. Kinda. Then I did the whole Clint Eastwood post and it reminded me of something. So, I thought to myself everyone has at least one good celebrity story. You know, the one you always tell at parties or wish you had told so people would invite you back.

So, this one was a few years ago. I think Clint wasn't mayor of Carmel anymore, but it was not too long after that. I was attending a wedding which was not one of my own for a change in the area and decided I wanted to play golf at Pebble Beach. Thought I was going to need a miracle to play. No tee time so I decided to start calling people. Didn't work. I did however show up and there was a last minute cancellation so the whole asking for favors and pulling the do you know who I represent thing wasn't necessary.

It is really early in the morning. Like 6am after a bachelor party the night before. I'm a little hungover, but not going to miss this chance. I'm just kind of resting on my bag, taking a nap while waiting to start when behind me comes the voice.

"Had a long night did you?" Clint Eastwood at 6am on a hangover. Fun. Oh, but it gets better. For the next four hours I was in Clint's group and I was basically his whipping boy.

Every bad shot I hit was commented on by Clint. It was because I had a lazy swing or I was out of shape or hungover or liberal or conservative. Just went on and on. I know he was just having fun with me, but still, after four hours it is a bit grating.

At the end of it all he did shake my hand and said he hoped we would play again. Sorry Clint. That isn't going to happen.

OK, so that story was kind of long. It could be much shorter, like this one from a few weeks ago.

Me: Hi, what's your name?
Josie: Josie.
Me: You look really familiar.
Josie:Well, I used to be on Charles In Charge.
Me: Oh, you were the plain one. Damn you are hot as hell now.
Josie:Uh, yeah. Nice meeting you

See, very simple.

I also thought I would give a plug to some reader blogs that I enjoy.

Trix has a great one going with winnersusedrugs.com and her vintage porn. Nice. Seriously. Vintage porn is really fun to look at.

Jax has the funniest picture of a half naked fat guy on her site that will make you die laughing. jaxsaid.blogspot.com

Another reader site that cracks me up is gidgetgormley.com and one that scares me because I know she reads the site every day is thegrammarvandal.com

34 comments:

Harriet Hellfire said...

I would like for you all to hear my little sister's music:

www.myspace.com/cloettaparis

That is all. Oh and I have a blog too, I just don't update it very often. But I'm gonna now. *L*

kris said...

TRIX!!!!!! YOU ARE IN BABY!!

Love winnersusedrugs and jaxsaid...both HILARIOUS.

Big Sur Expedition 2008! said...

Harriet, your sister is ADORABLE! She's like a hot Michelle Williams. :)

Jen said...

Thanks for the shout out! Now we know for sure that Gidget is a celebrity! She'll be sure to hump your leg next time she's in LA!

www.gidgetgormley.com

Bad Fish said...

LOL to be fair, the name is "bad fish" now, and its not ALL vintage porn. Vintage porn only on Sundays! (EL could have actually gleaned as much from CDAN comments but what the heck, I'll give him the benefit of a doubt, lol)

Anyway, I sit around jawin' all day and amusing myself and Kris and Jax and Adrian and shiny special one and Uncle Macabee...so far. Getting some good heat. Thank you CDAN readers!!

WWW.WINNERSUSEDRUGS.COM

Lady Trainspotter said...

Hi Ent~ not sure if this is ok, but can you let people know of my new blog? I am a neighbor after all...it is a little NSFW because of "party" references...but not sure how people usually get the word out...so checking w/an expert.

xo Lady T

http://ladytrainspotter.blogspot.com/

Bad Fish said...

I forgot to add my favorite celeb run in story.

"And he turned around...and you'll never guess who it was. It was Emilio Estevez, man. And I was like, EMMMIIILIO! EMILIO!"

lol

thank you thank you I'll be here all week

kris said...

BAD FISH...that was fascinating...much like my Wierd Al Yankovich story...I was at a bar when the guy to my right said hello. I turned and said "hey Wierd"...

yes, that is my luck...my celebrity is Wierd Al. sigh

Bad Fish said...

To be honest, I spent three months in LA and never saw one celebrity. I met George Clooney's coke dealer. That was it. But I did get a few calls from my hometown of Seattle, from a friend who worked in a 3rd Ave camera shop, and would regularly see celebrities. So while I'm on Melrose Ave, shopping at the same stories I've seen in UsWeekly, I'm getting calls on my cellie about missing Matt Stone and Trey Parker at Ed's Camera Shop in downtown Seattle. Bleh.

beyondseattle said...

how funny, just saw vintage porn. over the years i have met several celeb but this stands out by far.so growing up i was obsessed with luke perry during 90210 years,obsessed like dream about him every night obsessed. when i was seventeeen i was in la and these guys told me he was up at the bar. right before i approached him i heard him tell these girls that he would not take a picture or sign an autograph because then everyone would want one. i saw the girls walk off embarrassed. i was scared my idol would break my heart and blow me off as well. still couldnt move though. my idol was sitting right in front of me.i wanted to run but was frozen. he was sitting with his buddies and they saw the dear in headlight look and nudged luke to me. he said i guess you would like my autograph and he grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to the group. i thought i was in a dream. i told him i watched 90210 every night like a cheeseball but you could tell he felt bad because i was shaking i was so nervous. i didnt have anything for him to sign so he signed his napkin and gave me those luke perry eyes and said i could also keep the pen. i was breathless. his prediction was right though every girl in the bar who wanted an autograph all of a sudden surrounded him and he bolted. i do understand now how sometimes they just want to be left alone and enjoy their beer.

Kara said...

I got drunk at Ronnie Scotts in London one night with Sting and a bunch of people from the Jazz band I was there to watch. I was so drunk, I didn't realize it was Sting until he was leaving. Nothing like being the stupid drunk American.

Kate said...

Haha, Enty! Don't worry! The only people whom I chastise are businesses, advertising professionals and people who don't think it's necessary to hire an editor. How wrong they are. I NEVER go after bloggers or friends of mine. :-)

Thanks for the plug!

www.thegrammarvandal.com

Harriet Hellfire said...

Big Sur - funny you should say that, we've both been told we look like MW. It's the lips, I think. *L*.

I haven't really met any celebrities other than Swedish ones. I used to work at a major recording studio in Stockholm, so I met a few musicians. I met Marie from Roxette and once called a cab for Benny from ABBA. Yep. Pretty glamorous, my life!

jax said...

I love you EL! muah baby..very nice shoutout.

come play on my blog,its interactive!

the celebs i've met:

Christopher reeve
Tim Reid (Venus Flytrap!)
Holly Robinson
Robbie Williams
Jason Preistly
Vin Diesel
The cast of Baywatch
The cast of Y & R
Pam Anderson
Mel C Sporty

right place right time for all of them...robbie williams is my fav but ive told the damn story like 2x here already lol.

beyondseattle said...

i remember one more you all will find funny. long time ago. i was working briefly at the four seasons front desk and it was basketball playoffs. shaq was there and i had on a trainee badge. he asked me if my last name was french or if i was a new. i laughed later he took a flower from the centerpiece and gave me a note that said "i think your pretty" and walked off. i turned red and acted like no big deal. 10 minutes later he called down and said he couldnt figure out how to work the tv and could i help. i was young and naive and sent the
electrician up immediately and we all thought he must be a little slow. years later i got what that was probably about. you all are saying duh right now, i know.

adrian said...

Most everyone knows my Bono story, so I won't go there, but I have some more...
Raquel Welch had come up to my office, & when we ordered lunch, she asked for steamed broccoli with sliced turkey. I couldn't resist touching her beoccoli before it was brought to her.. I hope she is not a reader.
Also Cheryl Tiegs came up, refused to make eye contact with any of us.
Bitch--hope she sees this.
Ian Anderson--was giving out samples in Macy's of salmon that he raised, & we had a whole conversation about how I saw Jethro Tull the night a fan throughh a rose at him, & a thorn scratched his cornea.
I saw Chrissie Hyndes after Bob Dylan's 50th b-day party--she was just standing in front of Madison Square Garden, & we talked about the show.
Walt Frasier on 6th Ave--got his autograph, Sarah Hughs shopping in Fairway right after she won the gold medal--she was with her mom, & they had a whole bag of 8 X 10's she autographed & gave out.
Lots more-- oh--how about offspring? I went to college with Stephen Jo Bladd's son (J Geils) & at a party told him I couldn't stand "Centerfold".
Ok-- I'll stop for now.

Reese said...

In Santa Barbara we have more celebrities hanging around on a daily basis than you would ever want to see in a lifetime. No one really gives a flip about them unless they are rude or annoying (OPRAH!!!) and then we turn on them like sharks. Lots of Hedi and Spencer sightings in the last year, sadly.

One of my college roommates had a (literal) run in with Clint Eastwood. She was skiing at Tahoe and hit a big chunk of ice and totally lost her balance. She went crashing into a man and they both went flying. As they were trying to untangle themselves Ann kept apologizing over and over, and the man stood up and smiled at her and said "Don't worry about it Babe; I'm used to having women fall at my feet." Ann tried not to gag as she skied off. He did inquire as to whether or not she was OK so he wasn't a total ass.

Jen said...

Uma Thurman has a house near my village and all of us locals have an "Uma" story. Mine is that I saw her with her daughter at a favorite pancake haunt and when they stood up to go, her daughter didn't want to wear her sweater anymore so Uma took it and tied it around her head like a turban then promanaded thru town like that. I was honored to witness a very pure moment for a mom and her daughter.

adrian said...

My sister used to use the same pediatrician as Uma--she always saw here there with her kids, no nanny, just Uma. Said she was very nice.

tamarind said...

o.k. so i have two.

first one i saw live was elvis costello walking down the street in shadyside. I had never seen a real live star so i shouted out "hey it's elvis costello!" i was really loud, and he, my mom, and i were all really embarassed...and he talked about me and that incident on jay leno two weeks later :)

I met woody harrelson and was invited to his suite by a friend of the director of a movie he was working on...i was young and did not realize this man's intentions but i can still say that i was star struck by meeting woody...he got into this pretzel yoga position when he met me at the door. he is quite a character!

tamarind said...

o.k. one more...have to tell this one i have a friend who lives in cali, her husband worked sound control for an 80's band that still tours. she told me while jen and brad were still married he did some coked out slut against a wall backstage after one of their shows, in front of her and other band members!!!

mngddess said...

OK Bad Fish - you betta email me privately and give me sordid details of Clooney's coke dealer!!!!!

I'm a longtime Clooneyholic.

heh

mngddess said...

OK - these are the celebs I've seen - not met... let me preface this by my ex-cousin telling me for weeks before the actual trip to LA that we werent going to see anyone.

The first night we went to Asia De Cuba and were on the list to get into the Sky Bar, both in the Mondrian Hotel. They have these huge matresses that you can lay on and chat with your group. I was just happy with my free cosmos.

While I was there I saw:

Michael Vartan
Lauren Graham (stunning)
and one of OJ's friends (not Al) who walked thru the pool area hoping people would notice him.

Next day was the Warners Bros tour. We went into a restaurant nearby to eat beforehand and saw Joe Penny. I had a crush on him once. On the WB tour 2 of the male stars on the show. Can't remember their names. I had my thrill when I went into the WB museum and touched Clooney's tux from O11. I had to sneak it....

SisterMaryHotPantz said...

I love the above stories.

To make a looooooooong story short, and to show how old I am.....

I met Hall & Oates after a concert and then traveled with them to the next two cities.

Did this every year when they were touring in my state for the next three years.

Our tickets and back stage passes would always be waiting at roll call.

I know this sounds like I was a Ho Roadie. I was young and naive. None of us ever effed them (not for a lack of trying) and instead became friends.

Lisa said...

SisterMaryHotPantz, I get where you are coming from. I too have been on many a tour bus and somehow managed to not sleep with any of the rock stars... haha I'm not sure how that happened, but it did.

Toni said...

I think this is funny - hope you guys do as well.

Van Halen was touring on their OU812 album - hit Greensboro NC. Small strip club next to arena where I bartended. Vinnie, doorman, had several people come to the door to gain admission. Vinnie took their money and asked the gentleman to please remove their hats (who knew strip clubs had dress codes LOL). One guy said "Do you know who this is? This is Eddie Van Halen" Vinnie paused and said "Mr Van Halen, please take off your hat". Too funny!!

Eddie came in and tipped all the girls $100 *and* my guy roommate ended up doing blow with him (Steve provided) in Steve's car - Eddie signed the dashboard. No clue whatever happened to car or Steve for that matter.

K. Marie Criddle said...

Danny Ainge (basketball player, manager of the Boston Celtics) sat in front of me at church and kept giggling with his wife the whole time. He's incredibly tall and I couldn't see the pulpit for the life of me.

libby said...

YES! Enty, Margaret Cho was "checking me out!" It was uncomfortable also, because all my instincts say to avoid looking at famous people...and this one is staring at me and won't stop!

I waited tables in downtown Indianapolis for 10 years, at the 'hottest' location....but Indianapolis usually gets only sports celebrities.

(I told Ent this one before but) One of the grossest sports-star experiences I had was with Patrick Ewing...the ugliest GIANT disgusting, smelly guy ever.....I was waiting on a NY sportscaster, who knew Mr. Ewing personally , and spied him sitting in the bar. The sportscaster MADE me go over and repeat some kind of in-joke they had, to let Ewing know that his friend was in the restaurant. As I approached, Patrick Ewing, of course, assumed I was just another stupid twat coming over to hit on him. His eyes went up and down, up and down---you could see him 'deciding.' I felt like having a shower. NASTINESS!

If anybody knows who Joe Theisman (sp?) is, I will tell you, he is patronizing, misogynist, hillbilly...who kept calling me "sweetheart" and scrambling for ways to continually correct my table-waiting. LOSER!

And once, there was a 6-person table, a family, where a 16-year old girl was leading the table and her parents and family were fawning over her.....The mom stopped me as I passed and said, "Don't you have a private dining room, like when, you know---PEOPLE eat here?" (Like only 'celebrities' count as people.) Turns out her daughter was some kind of tennis player (that I had never heard of, and I follow women's tennis), and the mother was infuriated that her precious meal-ticket would be "swamped" by fans.

I pointed to the table next to them and said, "Well, Kristy Yamaguchi (at least was a gold medal winner) sat right there last night, and she was okay"....and marched my ass away! The Nerve!

Harriet Hellfire said...

Haha - this goes to show how much I know about sports. I read that whole thing, only thinking of Patrick Duffy, wondering how the hell this is a sports related item...*LOL*

Kelli said...

Years ago, I was with 3 friends in South Beach and was staying at the Delano when we ran into Dennis Rodman and his entourage. At the time he was married to Carmen Electra, but he with some local model for the night. He & his friends invited us over to his table- much to the dismay of the model. It was at the the time when Dennis was getting paid to make club appearances,so you could imagine how long ago it was! He was really cool, and asked us if we wanted to go shopping-he was looking for silver puma sneakers. So not only did we go shopping with him, but he took us for sushi, and to a local bar for drinks, bought us shots, and we just hung out all night. It was a really fun time. Then he went back to his hotel room and fucked the model.

adrian said...

Oh--one more--a few years ago I went to see "The Dinner Party" on Broadway, starring Henry Winkler & John Ritter. My mother came to babysit, & as a joke brought my Fonzie socks from junior high. After the show, the Fonz announced that they were raising money for AIDS research & for a donation, he would take a photo with you. Of course my husband & I ran on line. I yanked out the socks, which he found quite funny that someone still had them. So we had a nice conversation, I received 2 kisses, a photo & he autographed my socks.
He was a very nice guy- I am sorry John Ritter didn't do the same photos--he died shortly after.

My photo is funny, because Henry Winkler is actually holding the autographed socks up so you could see them!!

tamarind said...

So I was at a Ziggy Marley concert a few of years ago and I am with my boyfriend and Ziggy comes walking around the stage on ground floor and starts meandering through the audience...no one knows it's him since everyone is all rasta-ed out with dreads/wigs and he comes right over to me and starts to flirt. my guy was so mad, he kept saying (all night) "i'll kick his ass" and totally ruined it for me. should have picked ziggy.

Lori said...

I have a few of these, but my favorite has to be meeting Richard Simmons at the top of the Roman Colosseum. He was easy to spot - looked identical to the way he appears on TV with that wild hair, a vest adorned with wild buttons, spandex shorts, and white gym sneakers. I tried taking a photo of him without him noticing, but I guess I wasn't that slick because he caught me, looked directly at me, and started walking over. I suddenly got very nervous and flushed and embarrassed, but then he said, "I can't allow you to take my picture... unless you will be in it with me!" So then he posed with me and my friends, and by then, every other tourist started asking for autographs and he was so funny and gracious about it all. I was 19 and it was my first celebrity sighting and actual interaction. Since then I have had many, both for work and just by the sheer coincidence of living in LA, but this story still remains my favorite.

IndigoBlue said...

Okay, I have a few stories, but I'll stick with these two short ones. First, met Michael Jordan when he was a newbie with the Bulls. I was about 12 or 13 and at a work/charity thing with my mom. Couldn't have cared less at the time. He kept nudging me and saying, "You don't have any idea who I am, do you?" but not in a stuck up way, in a "it's kind of cool there's someone in the room who doesn't want a piece of me" way. He was very nice.

Second, went to college with Jenny McCarthy. Not just attended, but actually hung out with the same people. She was good friends with my roommate. I remember not liking her because she was the high maintenance girl in the group, you know? Then when she flunked out, she got the Playboy gig and I was so clueless I didn't have any idea. Was visiting my ex-roommate over the summer and she throws me this photo album full of celebrities and I'm like, "where the hell were you?" and she asks me if I remembered Jenny and I said yeah and she goes, "yeah, well she's the Playboy Playmate of the Year and invited me to the party at Hef's. Those are pictures from that."