Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Sex In A Cage


The headline sounds more dramatic than the actual story, but it still is a good one. Sacha Baron Cohen was at it again. Allegedly. In a very strange scene in Arkansas, a cage fight was held last month, but instead of two guys trying to kill each other, what instead happened was two men ripping off each others' clothing and then making out with each other passionately.

Apparently, the people in Texarkana were promised a cage fight. Admission was free and there was dollar beer for the crowd. Can I just take a second to say how much I love any event that offers $1 beer. If the ballet suddenly started offering $1 beer I think you would find that not only would more men attend the ballet but would be encouraging their wives to buy season tickets.

When patrons were admitted to the fight, there were signs that said they would be filmed and each person had to sign a waiver before they were admitted. Despite this though, the people seemed might pissed to find two guys who came perilously close to crossing the morality code of the city. Police were told in advance what would happen but were unprepared for the onslaught of the dollar beer into the cage and at each other. Again, I think the ballet might be more enjoyable to all if the dancers had to duck out of the way of a solo cup filled with beer. Of course this wouldn't just be random throwing of beer because hey, even at a buck, it is beer. No, you have it all wrong my friends. The beer would be thrown judiciously and only in cases of an Allegro that lacked effort or a failure on the part of the dancers to demonstrate ballon. I think performances would only get better. The occasional injury from slipping on a wet stage would be offset by the fact that the dancers would know a cold $1 beer is waiting for them as they get that leg popped back into place.

Now, back to Arkansas. Apparently the crowd was in such a bad mood about the display that it took police about 45 minutes to clear the convention center. Meanwhile the two fighters had departed through a specially built tunnel so they would not have to cross the path of the audience. Hey, audience. It was free to get in and there was $1 beer. You got to get out of the house for a night and hang out with your friends. What are you complaining about? Are you upset they didn't fight or that they didn't go all the way?

15 comments:

kris said...

This is HILARIOUS...especially your last comment...

Mooshki said...

I thought I was going to hate Borat, and I absolutely loved it. I can't wait for Bruno.

irishstayc2 said...

"The beer would be thrown judiciously and only in cases of an Allegro that lacked effort or a failure on the part of the dancers to demonstrate ballon" - hahahaha LOVE IT!!!

Schweeeeeeeeeee can you stand it? I would have paid $100 to be there and watch the meltdown. It would have been AWESOME!

irishstayc2 said...
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littleoleme said...

This is a stupid stunt. They literally put their lives in danger to prove what eveyone already knew?

I guess if I were to see this I wouldn't laugh. It would just bother me that such stupidity still exisits in the world (crowd reaction, not SBC).

Joanna said...

That last sentence made my day. Ha!

Kristen S. said...

Borat was a really brilliant social commentary about the state of American culture. I love that he does this stuff!

(maybe next time he could turn his lens on another country, though. We aren't the worst in the world, y aknow ;) )

Sarah said...

I'm with you, Mooshki. I avoided Borat for a long time, absolutely convinced that I was going to hate it. And I laughed my ass off the whole way through. Just further proof of "don't knock it 'til you've tried it."

Ernestine said...

I'm proud to hail from the same area that hosted the infamous rodeo immortalized in Borat. Remember? "May George Bush drink the blood of every man, woman, and child in Iraq! May he destroy everything, down to the lizards!"

Our local paper, The Roanoke Times, actually printed an article about the incident and referred to him as a "bizarre foreigner" or something like that. This was back in the Ali G. days, and I INSTANTLY knew what the real deal was. I was basically pissing my pants with excitement. It's the ONLY time in my life I wished I had attended a rodeo!

Good God, I love this man. He's the most incendiary, hilarious, practicing comedian alive, in my humble opinion.

Elle said...

I always loved Bruno best on Da Ali G Show...I can't wait for the film.

jax said...

SBC is da man..love it!

"sir if i buy dis truck can you install da pussy magnet?"

selenakyle said...

First, I studied dance for years and this post makes me think maybe Ent IS a woman after all, as many of you also think...

I mean, what men do you know who would know what "ballon" means in ballet-speak???

Back on topic--I LOVE SBC!

Ernestine said...

OOOOH. Enty is a WOMAN? It would make sense, given his outrageous intelligence, charm, and way with words. And what kind of lawyer lives in his mother's basement? I've NEVER bought that ruse. At all.

CarolMR said...

I wish Mr. Cohen would stop bothering red-staters and start picking on sophisticated, liberal blue-staters for a change. Or maybe doing this kind of thing in his own country.

Alpine Summer said...

Hey, I'm drinking from a Solo cup right now. At home. At 2 AM. Let's just say it's moving day, and that explains why I'm commenting on a post several days dead. Then again, I start speaking in French after a few Solo cups. I never actually saw the Borat movie, but I love Da Ali G Show. And, after reading about the Hamas/Hummus debate . . . I'm pretty sure I'll be seeing the Bruno film.