Tuesday, July 08, 2008
The headline sounds more dramatic than the actual story, but it still is a good one. Sacha Baron Cohen was at it again. Allegedly. In a very strange scene in Arkansas, a cage fight was held last month, but instead of two guys trying to kill each other, what instead happened was two men ripping off each others' clothing and then making out with each other passionately.
Apparently, the people in Texarkana were promised a cage fight. Admission was free and there was dollar beer for the crowd. Can I just take a second to say how much I love any event that offers $1 beer. If the ballet suddenly started offering $1 beer I think you would find that not only would more men attend the ballet but would be encouraging their wives to buy season tickets.
When patrons were admitted to the fight, there were signs that said they would be filmed and each person had to sign a waiver before they were admitted. Despite this though, the people seemed might pissed to find two guys who came perilously close to crossing the morality code of the city. Police were told in advance what would happen but were unprepared for the onslaught of the dollar beer into the cage and at each other. Again, I think the ballet might be more enjoyable to all if the dancers had to duck out of the way of a solo cup filled with beer. Of course this wouldn't just be random throwing of beer because hey, even at a buck, it is beer. No, you have it all wrong my friends. The beer would be thrown judiciously and only in cases of an Allegro that lacked effort or a failure on the part of the dancers to demonstrate ballon. I think performances would only get better. The occasional injury from slipping on a wet stage would be offset by the fact that the dancers would know a cold $1 beer is waiting for them as they get that leg popped back into place.
Now, back to Arkansas. Apparently the crowd was in such a bad mood about the display that it took police about 45 minutes to clear the convention center. Meanwhile the two fighters had departed through a specially built tunnel so they would not have to cross the path of the audience. Hey, audience. It was free to get in and there was $1 beer. You got to get out of the house for a night and hang out with your friends. What are you complaining about? Are you upset they didn't fight or that they didn't go all the way?