Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Victoria Beckham Is Xenuphobic


With my luck Xenuphobic won't mean afraid of Xenu and Scientology but in fact will mean something like afraid to have sex with less than ten people at once and I will get sued for calling her that. Anyway, according to the most reliable source in the world, a star with a grudge, Kelly Osbourne had this to say about when she saw Victoria Beckham and Jennifer Lopez talking during Fashion Week,

"I know it's not my place to say... but I've never seen two people pretend to like each other more in my life," she remarked. "They were holding hands, but it looked like Victoria was holding a s***ty bit of toilet paper!"

Well there could be plenty of reasons for this. It is the start of the cold and flu season and so barely touching someone may be your extra protection. Another logical reason is that Jennifer is married to Marc Anthony and presumably whatever cooties have invaded his body have also taken over Jennifer Lopez. I think you would agree with me that there is no one on this great earth who wants anything that Marc Anthony has or to wish his skeletor look on your worst enemy. Denise Richards excluded.

What I think is probably the most probable reason is that Victoria and David were heavily recruited for Scientology and they turned it down. Notice that Tom and Katie are never around anymore. Oh sure, Tom will show up in a box at a soccer game, but I think that is because David is too nice of a guy to say no. If Tom asked Victoria though, I think the answer would be completely different. Jennifer is the emissary, Victoria doesn't want it. Fake niceties ensue, and Kelly Osbourne gets some attention. It really is a win/win unless of course Victoria was holding a piece of s**tty toilet paper.

26 comments:

MontanaMarriott said...

OMG a pic where JLO doesn't have her trademark mouth slightly open with eyes squinted look?!?!!

BTW whoever heard of a Puerto Rican Scientologist anyway?

amster said...

If it is true, then I like Victoria a little more now.

Cheryl said...

Posh loves money too much to be turning it over to COS. Recruitment was the big reason for the Beckham's welcoming party anyway. Will and Jada and Leah Remini aren't hanging around anymore either.

Mooshki said...

Whoa, I went looking for "Xenuphobia," found a link to a Wikipedia page, and not only is the Wiki page not still up, but there's no record of it's deletion, or ever having existed. They won't just take your future, they'll take your whole past! Bwahahahaha!

(Here's the page with what should have been on Wiki.)

Harriet Hellfire said...

Jennifer Lopez looks like a giant next to Victoria Beckham!

Sylvia said...

Victoria is so weird the way she is always posing never a natural pose.

ms_wonderland said...

Whatever Vicki's faults are, she always had her head screwed on. She's made the Beckhams into superstars, and made tons of money. David, lovely boy, is thick as shit. There's no Svengali in the background - it's all down to her. I think Vicki used the Cruises and pals to raise the Beckham profile, and there was no chance of them joining COS.

Tea Lady said...

cheryl - what did I miss about Will/Jada and Leah? I thought they were all three COS....?

not a famous adrian said...

Victoria is staring to resemble a leprachaun. Good for the Beckhams
for turning their back on Scientology. I have a bit of respect for them now.

Ayesha said...

What cheryl said. And what Ms. Wonderland said, too.

It will be interesting to see if the CO$ lashes out at her, or if they leave her alone.

And I'm still wondering about the Oprah/CO$ connection...

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

What's wrong with slutty toilet paper?

Mooshki said...

LOL.

Grace said...

Victoria is a very smart cookie. I really like her. She poses like a stiff plastic doll, but when she opens her mouth, she's pretty smart and not at all snotty, like Gwyneth.

I think Victoria is genuine, despite her stiff posting, and JLo is still looking for approval wherever she can find it.

If you aren't looking for approval, then you don't need Scientology to make you feel good about yourself.

Mooshki said...

"If you aren't looking for approval, then you don't need Scientology to make you feel good about yourself."

You hit it right on the head!

UKGrrl said...

Aren't Jlo's puerto rican parents scientologists? Or just her dad at least?

violet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
violet said...

Kind of off topic, but did anyone else notice Victoria had a very slight nose job? She used her "new hair" cut to take attention away from it. The tip of her nose is less snoutish (not trying to be mean but that's the best way to describe it). It is very subtle but if you compare before and after you can tell (similiar to what J aniston had).

jessica said...

go posh! tell those scientologists where to shove it.

Mooshki said...

Wow, I hadn't noticed that. I have seen the snoutnose on her before, but didn't spot that it was gone. That falls under "good plastic surgery."

violet said...

It was actually on Lainey gossip that pointed it out. Then I did some research of pics on my own. I consider myself somewhat of a "pro" on spotting nose jobs ;)

Ayesha said...

montanamarriott and ukgrrrl: It's interesting that you mention race and Scientology. I believe that CO$ is trying to branch out beyond Whiteyville. I know for sure that they have partnered with black churches in the South and have been pretty well-received. It's very minimal - the Scientos pass out literature in which their philosophy dovetails with Christianity. I believe the Will Smith/Oprah overtures are to soften up the black community.

They will be fighting an uphill battle trying to get traditionally Baptist and Catholic minorities who tend to be very loyal to their faiths, but I guess they can afford to try.

Seems that their base of disenfranchised middle class white kids is facing too much competition from the other cults. If they can go after markets which are proven to be brainwashed already... there's no zealot like a convert!

redgurl72 said...

Totally agree with Ms Wonderland - nobody is getting their hands on Vicky's hard earned cash!
I imagine Tom had other things he was wanting recruit David for, bet that was consolation enough.

bionic bunny! said...

what IS the story with leah remini and the smiths?
i know for certain she is cos, and while will and jada haven't OFFICIALLY declared allegiance, we all know the truth.

oh, i found out what the ruckus was about at the h'wood cos center: seems from friday evening to saturday (morning?) EVERY WEEKEND, the cult holds "graduations" with full on loud speakers,flood lights, blocked off roads, guards, plastic foliage, parked cars, etc. the noise is supposed to be awful. and residents are not able to get to their homes (and, apparently from local news footage, they are using nearby apartment parking to store huge trees, barriers etc.) and can't sleep for the noise. they showed a woman at a town council meeting outlining stuff, and then said they tried to interview other residents BUT THEY WERE AFRAID TO TALK TO THE CAMERAS.

just thought i'd follow up to my comment yesterday.

lschnei713 said...

I think J-Lo's dad is involved in scientology. Though she'd never admit if she were involved

stiffkittens said...

I second ms_wonderland's comments. Victoria has always had a way with manipulating her surroundings - unlike many celebs that get used and abused. The whole not smiling thing was an extention of the 'Posh Spice' character. Like Mr T carrying on with the chains and 'tude - it makes you remember them.

I can't imagine JHo spilling her guts for that batshit cult. She seems too much of a control freak to let powerful strangers know her deepest, darkest secrets. I think its a more cynical version of Madonna and that Kabalwhateveritscalled religion/moneymaker. She's in it for the status and celebrity connections, and not because she gives a damn about the little green men (how the hell do people get sucked into this crap? Its goddamn sci-fi!)

michelle said...

Victoria Beckham does anything for publicity, she loved the attention. I think it would have been David who said no thanks. Victoria loves being accepted by the A listers, it's a pity she looks so fake and cant act normal. David is a natural, she's not.