Friday, November 21, 2008

Ted C Blind Item

Been awhile since we heard from Fake-à-la Ferocity, I know. The babe who has used prescribed synthetic goodies to help her get off a nasty drug habit is two-timing her man, didn’t you know?

No, not that hunk she’s got at home stashed in the fully toy-equipped bedroom, but her doctor, I mean. Turns out F.F. knows how to work her fierce femme charm on the good docs (a very old story in this town, right? Just ask Liz Taylor’s 263,000 docs if you don’t believe me). So you know the last Vice tale: Ms. Ferocity needed to get off her substantial habit so she could not only save her home life and marriage but make a movie, too. Thought nobody would notice that she went right back to using not that long ago.

Yeah, right, exactly. So gotta get clean again! Yep, she’s back on the synthetic stuff, and not just with one doc but two. Two pro docs who don’t know about the other, by the by. Guess Ms. F. really likes to feel good when she’s feelin’ bad comin’ down from the hard stuff? I swear, it’s not the docs and the man at home, nor F.F.’s family, that’s gonna find out first how much crap she’s shooting into her bod, it’s gonna be the public, when she keels over dead one day. Jeez already, get help, woman!

And It Ain’t: Felicity Huffman, Kate Bosworth, Ashley Olsen

67 comments:

KellyLynn said...

Based on the previous Fake a la Ferocity BV's, this is Angelina Jolie. I don't think I could've guessed that from just the clues here, though.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

Marlene Dietrich!

KellyLynn said...

And I should've added that she has been looking so pretty until just recently, too. I was willing to write her tired look up to being a mom, but I guess I was wrong again.

Sylvia said...

Read somewhere that she was back to her old habits. Guess having too many kids is getting to her.

Ice Angel said...

If this is AJ, Brad needs to stop collecting babies and get this mom some help or get rid of her completely!

palealebrew10 said...

I threw an alternative out there on the Ted C board. First comment was erased.

Jessica Alba?

For the connections I listed there:

Felicity Huffman-in JA's imdb, it states she studied with Felicity Huffman and William Macy in the Atlantic Theater Company.

Kate Bosworth-beach summer movies.

Ashley Olsen-child star-Camp Nowhere.

Jessica Alba looked uber skinny before she announced her pregnancy last year, too..I mean I'm just throwing it out there because the "marriage" caught me off-guard.

palealebrew10 said...

By the way, I thought this was pretty funny-emailed my sister(a devoted Angie-lover) the Fake-a-la-ferocity blind vices. She shortly thereafter sent me a pretty email telling me to go to hell.

Kristen S. said...

I luaghed at the NOT Felicity Huffman....of course it's not her, jeezus. Who ever called William H. Macy a hunk?

sasslefrass said...

Newbie Here... I love this blog!

I'm guessing it's Angie, I've always been torn about her a true love/hate thing and I sort of hope its her. I don't think I've even forgiven her for taking Brad (I know he's guilty too idiot man) from Jen.

Terrance said...

It's not Angelina. She just got through breatsfeeding less than a month ago and is still pumping milk for the twins. She also isn't married

Mooshki said...

I thought we'd pretty much decided F a-la F is meant to be Angelina, but that Ted is pulling the stories out of his ass.

West End Girl said...

What Mooshki said. These BIs don't add up, at all, even if the assumption is that it's Jolie.

Molly said...

i still think it's a.j. based on the first two blinds.

and mother angelina can say she's breastfeeding as part of her angelic appearance, without actually doing it. it's all about reputation with her. i read yesterday she pays publications to only write positive things.

here are the first two blinds ted did on f:

One Privately Eased Blind Vice


Fake à la Ferocity knows how to have it all. She’s got the fans, the perfect relationship, the career, the love, the adoration, the healed needle marks! What more could a chick want in life? Maybe to hold onto that existence, perhaps?

When we last spoke of Ms. F, everybody was gossing in overdrive because she was so painfully thin. And, you know, most folks thought it was starvation stuff and the honey-doll just wasn’t eating much. Not true. F2 was shooting up with the best of ‘em, and, trust, plenty of H-wood honey-pies are on heroin right now. I mean, forget closeted fagolas—that’s the real dirty secret in this town, for now, at least.

But Fake à la needed to get off the hard stuff for a variety of reasons, family and Biz included. Firstly, she’s done it before. Secondly, she’s not stoopid; Ms. Ferocity knows damn well if she keeps up the drugs like most of her addicted colleagues have, she’ll say buh-bye to everything she’s nabbed. F.F. has no intention of pulling a Belushi, I assure you. And that is why Fake à la employs some of Hell-Ay’s fanciest docs, their specialty being weaning famous folks off drugs via synthetic goodies that’ll make anybody’s bad day a tad more doable. Roughing in rehab? No, babes, that’s for the little people.

However, there does lie a small kink in this elite, indulged sitch, prob being Ferocity’s docs think their client’s intending to quit for good. Uh, yeah. She’ll do that about as soon as she stops screwing whomever she pleases. See, the cleaning up’s only for F2’s current activities, babes. Then it’s right back to anorexia rumors, count on it.

And it ain't: Heather Locklear, Whitney Houston, Ashley Judd




Below is the first BV about FALF, from June 2007:
Some people love Fake-à-la Ferocity...the rest live to hate her. This do-it-all diva, known to dabble in everything from fab sex to fabber shoes, has her hand in purty much everything these days. Endorsements. Charitable endeavors. Entertainment projects. You name it. And all the wowin' while, Fake-à-la manages to look super-duper delish in the process. Well, she used to, at least. Lately, F2's once enviable bod has changed for the worse. And her hunky man isn't the only person concerned about the once divinely gifted babe. Nope, now a very few inside Industry types are also concerned 'bout our gal Fakey. See, F.F. has enjoyed a fairly good reputation in the media and rags...until recently. She's known for being accessible, candid and honest. How very friggin' heretical here in lip-cemented T-town! Apparently, Ms. Ef's hiding one helluva secret. And I'm the bitch to fill ya in on what, exactly, it is that has those select few Hollywood movers 'n' shakers so shaking in their Prada wear, regarding Fakey. She's got what's known as...a heroin habit. Well, she's hardly the first dame in this drug-infested enclave to fall down that slippery alley, right? It's just, uh, so damn rich to find this out, knowing how utterly benevolent our do-goodin' broad happens to be as of late. Gosh, wonder how long before everyone finds out what's really behind Fake-à-la's rapidly withering figure? It'll be "Paris who?" should that happen, trust.

And It Ain't: Jessica Biel, Kelly Ripa, Kiera Knightley

Patty C said...

I too believe this to be Angelina Jolie, the consumate liar of tinsel town. Just because she has said she is breastfeeding does not necessarily mean she actually IS. So many lies from this one that nothing is taken for word value. Her brother just before her last pregnancy stated in interviews that he was conderned that she was dying, and begged her to get medical help asap. She's repeatedly confessed her drug addictions as well, and as Dr Drew Peterson said recently,no one ever completely quits heroin, which is Angies favorite drug of choice. Also it's been reported that Brad is staying in bars till closing just to avoid the mess at home....what we see in magazines and on tv interviews is all for PRESS....to get people to see their movies so they can "fade from making movies soon" and retire on their bazillions and do wild monkey Bi-sexual acts ( both are Bi) and get high oh horse....Time people took off the rose colored publicity glasses about this pair

emailchallenged said...

interesting how this story from the nyt was in the paper today about angeliina jolie:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/21/business/media/21angelina.html?hp

Chatty said...

I think I read somewhere else that FF was not Angelia, though I'll admit I still think it's her.

Doesn't the original blind make it sound like SJP with the shoes and the sex?

amster said...

Sounds like Angie Jo even tho she is technically not married. But everything else points to Angie. I thought of Gwyneth Paltrow but I don't think she is known for making herself available to the media.

Molly said...

chatty, i don't think anyone would consider sjp's hubby a hunk, though.

califblondy said...

I hope like hell it's not Angelina, but it sure looks that way. Ted hates her so I can't see him saying "get help."

There were some pix of Brad going solo, which surprised me and in the last pictures of Brad and Angelina they both looked rather somber.

Ted has been predicting the demise of this couple as soon as they hooked-up. If they split he'll be doing the happy dance for days.

Mooshki said...

LOL, good point, Molly! I will always love Matt for "Ferris Beueller" if nothing else, but he ain't no Daniel Craig. ;)

amster said...

Unless Ted is being sarcastic with the hunky guy thing.

AnonMom said...

Take this for what it's worth, which may be nothing, but my friend's ex-boyfriend was drinking buddies with Billy Bob Thornton for a while. According to BBT, Angelina is totally batshit crazy, but gives good head (LOL!!!!!).

sandman said...

why isn't this kidman?

Katja said...

what about posh?

kari B-rum said...

Well that explains Gia. It was her autobiography with out the rape and the AIDS. I'm not surprised if it Agelina.

Lori said...

Just want to comment on the breastfeeding thing. I just read that Angie said she stopped breastfeeding after three months because it was just too hard. But there have been rumors that she had the twins a few months before the public thinks she had the twins; if that's the case, she could have been using for a few months already. She has been looking a bit rough around the edges lately.

Priscila said...

I am on the Sarah Jessica Parker train.....

But the whole bind screams Angelina of course, so it might be...

Audrey said...

Hi All, I've always thought this was Angelina, but because of the husband thing, I'm thinking Gwyneth.

Urban Myths said...

I agree with sandman... Kidman's skeleton-thin, and only a few months after "giving birth"...

Molly said...

mooshki, we got our answer. priscilla thinks matthew broderick is a hunk....lol.


(sorry, priscilla, i couldn't resist)


somehow i can't see kidman with a toy equipped bedroom.

Mooshki said...

Ha, Molly, I was thinking back to how much everyone I knew was in love with MB way back when, and that reminded me of the huge crush I had on Michael Jackson as a youngster. Ah, to be young and naive again.

not on my dollar said...

If this really was Angelina than wouldn't there be a risk of the drugs effecting her children during pregnancy?

Would Brad really take the risk of having children with someone who is a heavy heroin user?

They could have just continued to adopt.

Like someone else said Ted may be pointing toward Angelina but I don't believe he's telling the truth.

Oh by the way I'm certainly not defending Angelina, I believe she's a phony but I just don't think she's a heavy heroin user.

I loved the N.Y. Times article. Thanks for sharing it. Now THAT information was probably true.

Mooshki said...

Through a spokeswoman, People magazine... released a statement denying that any conditions were placed on coverage... “Like any news organization, People does purchase photos, but the magazine does not determine editorial content based on the demands of outside parties.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Molly said...

mooshki, i remember those days, too. thankfully our tastes change...lol.

nomd, i think Ted references her getting off the stuff for the pregnancy when he writes:

So you know the last Vice tale: Ms. Ferocity needed to get off her substantial habit so she could not only save her home life and marriage but make a movie, too. Thought nobody would notice that she went right back to using not that long ago.

jagerlilly said...

What about Charlize Theron????

jagerlilly said...

Never mind - thought FF wasn't married....hmmmm, I'm just not feeling the AJ vibe here...

donna said...

I find it hard to believe that she is back using and Brad is putting up with it. I mean, I dont think that he is a rocket scientist, but hey, he has to be bright enough to see his partner in the throes of a heroin addiction. Just a question, does Ted ever reveal or are we left to our devices as to what the hell he is saying? Kidman I could agree with .. was keith a user also?

not a famous adrian said...

SJP is NY based, Angelina is not married. Also, they have both been actively making movies the past few years.
But Ted does list Ashley Olsen who is not married either, so who can really tell with him.
BTW--Ferris was quite a hunk in the gay community when he was younger.

tania said...

If Ted says 'home life and marriage', then it's clearly not AJ. He doesn't mention kids either - you'd think he would, since there are so many of 'em.

I think Jessica Alba is a good guess, Palealebrew10.

not on my dollar said...

Thanks Molly for the clarification. to Tania no Ted doesn't mention children but he does mention the "fully toy-equipped bedroom" which we can take two ways, either sex toys or children's toys.


Do you all really believe that Angelina is still a heroin addict?

Bad Fish said...

Hmm with the "marriage" quip, I'm off the Angelina train! I didn't think Brad would really put up with her heavy use around all those kids, anyway.

canadachick said...

just throwing it out there....Beyonce.....the FIERCE femme part...and all- she 's married and has a upcoming movie.

canadachick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shelia said...

My vote is for Melanie Griffith.

She's a train-wreck and has a hunky hubby.

Nuff said.

Cheryl said...

What about Katie Price/Jordan? I don't necessarily think she's either fierce OR fab, but a lot of the hints fit.

Grace said...

This isn't Angelina -- the previous blinds mention endorsements and entertainment projects, which she does not do.

Also,the blind never mentions being married, and the most current "not" is Ashley Olsen and Kate Bosworth.

The current blind indicates that she needs to get off heroin so that she can make a movie. There's no way Angie could have been doing heroin while pregnant.

This is someone who's been on heroin very recently and in the recent past.

Grace said...

Excluded as of 11/21/08:

Heather Locklear, Whitney Houston, Ashley Judd, Jessica Biel, Kelly Ripa, Kiera Knightley, Madonna, Jenna Jameson, Sarah Jessica Parker, Claire Danes, Sharon Stone, Jessica Simpson, Madonna, Jessica Alba, Keira Knightley, Victoria Beckham, Nicole Richie, Jennifer Garner, Drew Barrymore, Kate Hudson, Kate Bosworth, Charlize Theron, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, Felicity Huffman, Kate Bosworth.

I don't see Jennifer Connelly's name here...

Grace said...

What about Holly Hunter??

Not sure, but I have gleaned these from Ted's previous hints:

Ted’s clues:

Ted says Kate Hudson is close, but think more steely

Less blatantly blond than Kate Bosworth and Charlize Theron. More guy-mag-worthy than SJP.

When asked if FF has an Academy Award, Ted says, "F2 certainly has an accolades-rich (at the highest levels) rep in T-town, if that’s what you mean."

Someone asked if Fake has a really weird brother, and Ted didn't answer directly but said "Fake does have siblings".

"Divinely gifted"

Think truly talented.

TC said that she wasn't a blonde babe (at least not now)

Think more mainstream (than Sarah Jessica Parker) —slightly

Think a tad more mattress-worthy (than Claire Danes)

"megasuccessful star"

Fakey ain’t a blond babe...least, not right now.

Do-it-all diva

He's got his own nasty habits (the hunk)

DNfromMN said...

It's gotta be a blonde with the "nots".

Ernestine said...

Ted meant it to be Angelina. The last Awful Truth blind involving FalF basically screamed AJ, and gossipmongers everywhere were freaking out at the OBVIOUSNESS of the blind itself, and how it just haaaad to be Angie. Gosh! That Ted is SO audacious.

So...Angie's married now? No. So, there's ANOTHER FalF? The whole "marriage" word is a pretty significant clue, if you ask me.

I honestly think that Ted's blinds should be explicated in creative writing programs or something -- what NOT to do. They're the most poorly-worded lies you're likely to come across in cyberspace.

BlahFrickinBlah said...

shit, AJ and Brad are practically married as far as I'm concerned. You have ten billion kids together adoption wise and natural wise- what's the difference if you have an official piece of paper? He does call her "Ms." through the BIs. That is normally for a divorced woman, not a single woman. That would be "Miss". Maybe that's why AJ is talking retirement? It interferes with her shootin' up. LOL

brendalove@gmail.com said...

a lot of addicts get on methadone programs when they are pregnant. It does the job with keeping the mothers off heroin, the babies are born o.k., and its easy for doctors to wean the babies off the methadone after they're born. Sounds really screwed up, but true.

stiffkittens said...

Mooshki - i very much agree he's telling porkies due to personal issues with the Jolie-Pitts (Brad banned him from a Premiere, and Ted's had it in for them since).

Its funny that he wrote that heroin blind just when A Mighty Heart (or whatever it's called) came out, and now again he's written a Faux-Jolie blind in time for The Changeling. Yeah, because thats not obvious Teddy boy...

Diva drama, nothing more.

stiffkittens said...

"Fake does have siblings.

Divinely gifted

Think truly talented."

Just to add a note to the above quote - Jolie only has one sibling, but Ted wrote it as plural (thus, can't be her).
- I don't think any of us would call Angelina 'divinely gifted' and 'truly talented'. She is a good actress with the right roles, but she is not up there with Streep, Mirrem etc.
- She also isn't married, and Brad would not put up with a heavy drug user for the mother of his children. It would be very hard to hide anyway; but the whole babies being born early and having to be weaned off drugs thing would kind of be a hint to him about her behaviour! He would either go for full custody, or get her into rehab - he wouldnt put it off for a few months for her to promote a film (not to mention why didnt he get her help when the twins arrived if this is her. And if this was the case she would be okay now, and be watched by him like a hawk 24/7. However he left her with the children to go film a movie).


I think common sense is all that is needed with this blind. Not everyone in hollywood is on drugs, and they dont all have on-going dark secrets to hide (just about 90% of them).

cricket said...

I agree with sandman why can't it be Kidman. She has a hunky hubby at home. She looked like warmed over shit at the premire of Australia. She's so skinny you can count her bones and her dress was falling off of her.

Carla said...

JENNIFER CONOLLEY

palealebrew10 said...

ooooooooooooooooo

for the ashley olsen reference-if it IS angelina-they both attend(ed) NYU.

Jamie's Girl said...

AJ looks like she has had some work done to her face too. It is disturbing to me. Especially being pregnant with twins. But there was a BI someplace about the mother who had given birth and had some work done right after, so she could recuperate at the same time. Seems like it was AJ.

Jamie's Girl said...

Brad's a Doper too! Come on! Anyhoo, AJ even talked about doing heavy drugs in the past. Hence, her psychiatric stints, for 'depression', ie. drugs. The whole marriage thing threw me too. If it is SJP, that's really sad.

nennycakes said...

Julia Roberts?

Ms.Leigh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
captivagrl said...

Kate Beckinsale???

RagDoll said...

Kate Winslet?

Accolades: youngest person to receive multiple Oscar noms (never won, though)

Siblings: 2 sisters. actresses.

Married: Sam Mendes (hunk? bleh. not to me, but this is opinion, right? This and the sex-toys don't seem to fit, but who really knows about her bedroom habits by looking at her?)

Kids: two. girl & boy

Sometimes she's blonde, mostly she's a redhead.

Endorsements: American Express Card (2005--present)

"steelier than Kate Hudson" (I'd argue yes, esp. after roles like 'Heavenly Creatures' -- her stuff is not as "sweetheart-y" as Hudson's roles)

"Revolutionary Road" is the movie that I believe is being referenced for the purpose of the blind

The "nots" per Ted: KATE Hudson, KATE Bosworth, Mary KATE Olsen, Victoria Beckham (British)

The body wasting away comment: There was a LOT of buzz about the new Vanity Fair cover; that she apparently had to fend off rumors that her slenderness was photoshoppe and not her. She's always been more va-va-voomy than stick-figurey. And she's kinda famous for defending her curves in the press. But she's way thin in the VF pics.

liveunderarock said...

I think Ted is deliberately making everyone think it is AJ, when it isn't, for two reasons.
First - it makes the blind more difficult to solve.
Second (& most importantly)- He is getting back at Angelina. He makes it sound like her. She can't do anything about it. A certain percentage of the people, who have read his blind, will always believe it is her. Coming out with a new blind everytime Angie & Brad are doing publicity is another thorn in her side that she can't do anything to remove. Therefore, in his mind, Ted wins.

Even though she is blond, Paltrow sounds like a good possibility. Her roots are always showing. ;-) She is friends with Kate Hudson & definitely can be described as steely. She has an Oscar & can be a good actress. She has one brother, like Angelina & so on. I don't know. She doesn't look like she's on anything.
Kate Winslet & Holly Hunter could be possibilities. I don't think Nicole could be described as divinely gifted.

I need to do more research on award winners.

Thanks Molly for posting the blinds. Thanks Grace for posting the excluded & clues.

palealebrew10 said...

A reader on the gossip rocks site posted an update of Ted's:

Brangelina: Burnt to a Crisp

Brad and Angelina are actually making TomKat, Inc., look like a downright Mom 'n' Pop organization. Which is saying a huge amount. If these two babes adopt or buy or star in one more production—whether human or not—I'm going to stop salivating over yummy Brad—a virtually unimaginable thought a mere year ago. Getting close to jumping on the anti-Brad bus, anyway, as Mr. P., saint-whipped like he is, is becoming entirely forgettable. He really needs to grow some, already. Or at least borrow his wife's.

(Note the last word..)

Michelle said...

Probably Angie...
1. She has the letter "H" tattooed on her left wrist.
2. Based upon the previous blind items on Ms.F - she has definately gotten her finger into many pies.

(I'm unsure about what the reference to fully equipped toy bedroom means)

Michelle said...

I also belive that the use of tattoos helps to cover track marks. So someone heavily tatooed would be a good guess, i.e. Angie