Friday, March 20, 2009

Ted C Blind Item

Double cocaine-addiction alert, babes!

But first off, gotta say it's a brutal Biz out here in Hollywood. Instead of keeping up with the Joneses, you have to keep up with the Richie's. Thin will unfortunately always be in because every actor's worst nightmare is Jessica Simpson's last couple of months.

Meet Slurina Thigh-Disaster and Bart Farts-a-Lot. No relation between these two, except that they share the same nasty diet trick: nose candy. Yep, Slur and Bar are two of the more recent stars to shed their extra fluff, and we're not talking Jenny Craig here folks.

More like coke. Mountains of coke. See, Slurina's legs (and other appendages) are a disaster not because of her chunks, rather they seriously aren't there anymore. It's like they've disappeared or something.

Ever since that pic Slurina did a while back called Crimson Scorpio, for which she lost a shocking amount of weight, many folks have wondered where the hell that new figure came from. The same place where a lotta of T-town, stick-thin starlets like to get their stall on.

Weird, too, 'cause Ms. Thigh-Disaster used to be a bit on the plumper side, but always so healthy. Result of hew new figure: More roles, yeah, but she's also getting a rep for making vulgar scenes due to her constantly jumpy nature, regardless of whatever celebratory occasion she may find herself in. But she just can't get enough of this white stuff.

So unlike Bart:

This guy is most decidedly not a fan of the nose devil. In fact, he really doesn't like it at all. But he was forced to lose his happy poundage and didn't know what else to do...or snort. People like to laugh at a chubby actor, but won't swoon over one. He's told friends that coke is the "only thing" that will make him stop eating. So he does as much as he can to curb his appetite. Gross.

Jeez, what ever happened to some good ol' fashion diet and exercise?

And it ain't: Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Jessica Simpson

And it also ain't: Brendan Fraser, Jason Segal, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

55 comments:

vamp said...

seth rogen?

AnonMom said...

The guy is Seth Rogen, no clue on the girl. Brittney Murphey???

palealebrew10 said...

Christina Ricci? Black Snake Moan?
I'll say Seth Rogen fo the second cokehead

Audrey said...

Christina Ricchi for the woman.

Goodgrief said...

I was thinking Tori Spelling for the first one.

dreadpiratecuervo said...

Def Seth Rogen for the guy but not sure about Christina Ricci. She's been skinny-skinny for a while now.

jw12 said...

Mischa
seth

jw12 said...

oops, i don't think Mischa is getting any roles.

DNfromMN said...

Nice guesses, guys. I think the Nicole Richie, keeping up with the Richies confirms Christina Ricci.

Poor Seth Rogen. What's weird though is that his new slimmer self seems less animated. You'd think the coke would be making him jumpy.

maggiemei said...

I was thinking Christins Ricci cause she lost all that weight for Black Snake Moan. Before that she was on the plumper side.

And the other might be Seth Rogan- but he is losing weight for a role, the Green Lantern, and ir working out too. I hope it's not him.

twunty mcslore said...

He did mention Christina Ricci acting crazy at her engagement party, and where did her boobs go? She used to have a really nice rack.
Sad and depressing if it is Seth. Can't think of anyone else.

palealebrew10 said...

I already guessed Ricci but it does kind of remind me of Jessica Stroup from 90210. She was in Prom Night and she was very healthy, on the chubby side some might say. Now she looks like she could fall through the cracks.

Ed said...

Female--Ashlee Simpson?

Male--Seth Rogen

Rachel said...

Kristen Stewart from 3rd rock from the sun is the female...

shazzzba said...

THIS IS A DRUG I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND....BEING JUMPY, NERVOUS, IRRITABLE...SHORT TEMPERED...UNABLE TO CONSENTRATE....ALL NOT TO EAT..THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY...

Ice Angel said...

Black Snake Moan=Crimson Scorpio
Christina Ricci

I sure hope it isn't Seth, but whatev.

JJ said...

I immediately thought of Ricci and Rogan too.

irishstayc2 said...

seth rogen for the guy was my first thought. The girl not so sure - I did just see a quick article of how Mischa was asked to gain weight for a role because she was too thin a new CW pilot she has a part in

irishstayc2 said...

surprisingly - i just checked IMDB and mischa has 6 in production - post and pre , or completed. WOW! maybe it is her

stinkpotexpress said...

Though I'm totally hearing you on Christina Ricci, she has spoken pretty openly about her past problems w/eating disorders and her weight has fluctuated from super skinny to plump pixie and back before so it could just be more troubles on that front. Then again, this one seems to fit w/the all of them response, too.

CalamityJane said...

I think the biggest clue from the first one is in the name itself: Slurina Thigh-Disaster. Remember the photo of Mischa Barton's cottage cheese legs? ::shudder::

elanenergy said...

I think it's Seth, and I have to say, I get really PO'd at these directors who require their stars to be thin in order to play a part. Since when did America require that? Never. Seth's got charisma, and we like him chunky. Go back to the weed Seth, and make them accept you as you are.

Don't know who the girl is, some good guesses here, though (Christina Ricci, me thinks possibly.)

elanenergy said...

I think it's Seth, and I have to say, I get really PO'd at these directors who require their stars to be thin in order to play a part. Since when did America require that? Never. Seth's got charisma, and we like him chunky. Go back to the weed Seth, and make them accept you as you are.

Don't know who the girl is, some good guesses here, though (Christina Ricci, me thinks possibly.)

farmgirl said...

I thought maybe Kate Bosworth - But the Christina Ricci guess sounds good too

RaceGirl said...

What about Jennifer Connolly?

I hate that it's probably Seth Rogen. UGH.

Jennifer said...

First time poster - long time lurker!! Hey all!

My first thought for the girl was Mischa - b/c of the 'thigh' bit.

I have no guesses for the guy, but Seth Rogan seems like a good one.

Leslie said...

I really hope it's not Christina Ricci. Also, I think she had already lost a lot of her weight WAY way before. Pumpkin came out in 2002, and she was thin then. As for the boobs, didn't she get a breat reduction?

My guess is Mischa Barton or Tori Spelling... leaning more towards Mischa though.

parissucksliterally said...

Dead Kennedy, that was not funny.

Angela said...

Seth Rogen has lost weight because of "The Green Hornet" project. However, he's been attached to the project for years, he co-wrote the script and is an executive producer. Given how big he is in Hollywood, it's hard to believe he would be forced to slim down at a producer's request.

the.princess.leia said...

Female: I immediately thought of Kristin Johnston from 3rd Rock from the Sun.

Male: I could get Seth. But what about Matt Damon. Remember those pics of him looking very hefty for that one role. Also, what about Kevin James? He's had some comedy roles that have actually made money. Perhaps, he might want to move on to the leading man type rolls.

PS If you watch The Office, how hot was Jim in that tux? And how hot was Michael when he quit?

Tessa said...

I immediately thought of Mischa too. Way too many thigh references and also the "nots" are all tabloid celebutards much like Ms. Barton.

As for the dude, I'm thinking Seth Rogen too, maybe he offsets the jitters from the coke with bong hits?

Nellie said...

kevin james?

selenakyle said...

From personal experience, coke really IS the only substance on this planet I've encountered that will kill the appetite down to zero, zilch, nada---to the point I had to actually gag food down, could hardly chew and swallow it.

Nowadays, the only thing that comes close is Red Bull. Seriously! But my husband even hates me on that, it's so scarily similar.

So hey, rock on peeps! Trade your cardiovaccular health for a skinny bod!

Personally, there are days I wish I could (a) afford it, (b) allow myself the indulgence, and (c) have anyone around me be able to stand me doing it!

All that said...no guesses yet.

selenakyle said...

...vaScular, that is.

Speaking of celebutants (the AIAs who are H'wood but not all actors), what about the tiny, pathetic legs on Nikki Hilton these days?

"Slurpa" is one of TC's names for her sister...

selenakyle said...

And if Seth is not funny or charming or quick anymore, it could very possibly be because of coke.

Lockjaw and jonesing makes many people clam up like a zombie.

kanonymous said...

Mischa Barton is known for carrying her weight in her thighs.

Maybe John Goodman? I just read an article about him saying he had to lose weight for a role.

Seth Rogen is a good guess, but if he doesn't like coke, why doesn't he stop taking it? The role Seth slimmed down for is over.

Jungle007 said...

Slurina rhymes with Christina. Does Ted C use clues like that?

diatribes and dish said...

Rogen's a good guess, but my first thought was Vince Vaughn.

Anonymous said...

Adderall (amphetamine salts) also kills the appetite very well. I use it for ADHD and it kills my appetite completely. I have been on it for 2 months and am lucky if I can eat more than half a meal a day. Having never tried coke I don't know about similar side effects.

emailchallenged said...

misha- just got the malrose roll a

seth for the farter guy

lutefisk said...

I think Jonah Hill--he got obscenely large.
Seth Rogen was chubby, but not as large as Jonah.

lutefisk said...

I think Jonah Hill--he got obscenely large.
Seth Rogen was chubby, but not as large as Jonah.

Anonymous said...

Oh, RaceGirl, I like your Jennifer Connolly guess. The blind makes it clear that the problem with the thighs is not being too big but rather TOO SMALL!

Plus maybe that clue re the Crimson Scorpio is referring to her movie Blood Diamond.

Jill said...

Hmmm, for the female, I'm going to go with Hilary Duff. A while ago she got really really skinny, and there's that scene in "War, Inc." where she sticks a scorpion down her pants.

Anonymous said...

tory spelling

B626 said...

Jennifer Connelly
Seth Rogen
YUP

J said...

dunno.."crimson scorpio" is throwing me...

i think the guy is russell crowe

Sean said...

I'm going with Mischa Barton or Kate bosworth, but the crimson scorpion doesnt' fit.

That said, the common thread between the "and it ain'ts" is Rachel Zoe, and Mischa is def a client as is Kate I believe.

janele said...

Just to be different: Elizabeth Berkley. Her movie was "Curse of the Jade Scorpion". Her recent pics have her stick-thin.

I am one of those people who believe that Ted C's nicknames have the same syllables as the answer. Elizabeth's name is off by one syllable, though. Unless he stretches out "Berk-kuh-lee"?

RagDoll said...

I think Jack Black is the guy.

They tried to sell him as a romantic lead one time, in "The Holiday" with Kate Winslet as the girl.He hasn't done a "romantic lead' since. Rogen, I don't think he's done a romantic lead at all.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I agree with Rachel and the.princess.leia - Kristen Stewart from 3rd Rock.

As for Jennifer Connelly - she's always been thin - for years now. But now she's way too skinny.

For the actor, I too think Seth Rogen. Other guesses here... well, the guys are still quite heavy. Jack Black still has a big gut.

Anonymous said...

Re: Christina Ricci,

twunty mcslore asked: "...where did her boobs go?"

Leslie asked: "...didn't she get a breat reduction?"

Visible scarring from breast reduction here?: Warning! NSFW!

genesis said...

wow i never thought seth would give into stupid hollywood shit. i totally believe its him, makes me sad. he was hot to begin with anyway wtf

shakey said...

I kept thinking Renée Zellweger the whole time I read it, but I guess that's not news anymore. Don't think Hilary Duff is, either. I remember one Rockin' New Year's Eve a while ago when she was SCARY thin. I think she had black hair then. So if we're going recent and tori spelling doesn't fit the bill, I'll go with Christina Ricci. Shame.

I too thought Seth for bart. I thought of Jonah Hill as well, but he seems like he might like it.

Question - if coke is so slimming, why didn't Chris Farley lose weight?

Kike said...

The thing with coke is you have to do it consistently to reap the "benefits". Once you come down off of it, your appetite is back - in a big way.