Your Turn
After taking a break last week from the spicy and salacious, this week brings it all back and then some. Everyday I hear stories about celebrities who are having an affair or had an affair or are contemplating an affair. Actually affair sounds too pretty and quaint. Lets face it, they are cheating. Today the topic is have you ever cheated? Have you ever wanted to cheat? With whom did you cheat? Were you caught? Are you still together? So many possibilities with this great topic. As always on Fridays it is anonymous so feel free to release those demons and share it all.
212 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 212 of 212I, myself, have not really been in too scandalous situations(illicit affair-wise). But I've witnessed/heard of many from others I've known.
What I'd like to say is-yes, monogamy is hard. And maybe it's not very well embedded in our nature. BUT, and this especially applies to marriage, when vows are exchanged and you publicly devote your exclusive love to each other, you've taken an oath. Not happy? Tell your partner.
This issue strikes a strong chord with me, because one of my earliest memories as a child, if not the earliest, was my mom was cheating on my dad while I was 3-4 and my brother was an infant. She did not hide it well and my dad would yell at her about it all the time. One night my dad found my mom and him and confronted them in a parking lot with my baby brother crying in my dad's truck and me standing there, at 3 or 4, watching all of this confrontation. This is how I was brought into the world, and needless to say, I have some pretty f-cked up intimacy issues.
I don't like to talk about it, and it didn't end my parents' marriage, but honestly I wish it did. I wish my dad would have left her, because what she did was sick. For years I would ask my parents if they were getting a divorce because the incident scarred me. They would say "No, our marriage is fine" and would actually get enraged when I ever I asked the question.
I've told my mom about this incident and how it hurt me and she would brush it off as if I was being dramatic and it was a long time ago. And instead of actually apologizing, she would say "Well, your dad didn't handle it well."
So when I accidentally stumbled across nude photos of another woman in my dad's drawer one day(looking for tweezers haha) I was happy for him. Yep, happy. My mom deserves it. And karma face hit her HARD, so these things make it easier.
2nd story: A coworker, mid-twenties, got married in '07 to a marine. His daughter from a previous relationship worked where we work, too. She was about 18, so the man she married, who I never met, was about 40 I believe. Anyway, shortly after their marriage, he got sent back, and she cheated on him with an ex-boyfriend she already had a young daughter with. She got pregnant by him, and decided to keep the baby. He left her in mid '08 when this happened. I don't know for sure what happened with her, but she quit. Her ex-step daughter still works with us but in a different department.
If there are children involved with infidelity in marriage, then that is straight up sick, and realize it's not just the 3 parties who can get hurt, it's the children. I would know.
I have! And I never wanted to until the switch was flipped, then there was no stopping me. Can't say who (just in case). We were caught. And we're still together. I was married and so was he. Neither of us are anymore. We've been together 6 years. Of course we had trust issues, "if you did it WITH me then you'll do it TO me". The truth is, anything is possible, but no risk, no gain. It started as the best sex either of us had ever had. Very wild stuff; threesomes, sex in public, sex clubs, a lot of porn. Then we fell in love. It's true. We really did. We've been in couples therapy from the moment we each left our spouses. We want this to work and so far, 6 years later it does. It's great. Maybe, just maybe we'll beat the odds!
P.S. I don't recommend it though. Especially if either person has kids. They are who suffer the most. Hypocrisy at it's finest, I know. Shame on me.
2:42 and everyone else in that train of thought, I'm with you.
NEVER say NEVER!
9:37, definitely no judgment from me - I'm just happy that you got free of your husband. It'll take time to rebuild your life, but I know you'll get there eventually. And I hope you know you've got people here who will give you support if you need it. :)
9:06/10:04, because of an emotionally abusive father I was afraid of ALL people until I was 30 or so (I can remember walking down the street being terrified I'd see someone I knew and have to talk to them), and it took me even longer to be at all comfortable with men. I've been in therapy off and on from age 17, but I wasn't able to really talk about my issues until about 2 years ago. I always felt like I "should" be doing more to make myself better, and that made me feel even worse. Don't push it, just take care of yourself and go at your own pace.
Scientists have never found any indication that pedophilia is genetically related, and they've looked. Even if there is some small genetic component somewhere, environment is hugely more influential. Whether directly or not, your father "taught" this behavior to your brothers.
Yep i have too. Why am i not posting anonymously? Cos i won't be going into details!
@Ms Snarky...you don't think anyone has a right to judge, but yet, you say "Put the blame where it belongs. With your cheating husbands. And with you, for staying with a lying cheat." That right there is judging. How dare you say the blame lies within the spouse for staying with them? A boyfriend is not a husband, get that straight. Things change, feelings change, and you don't stay with the person because you're dependent. Many are very smart, and very successful, and INDEPENDENT. It's the "angry married women" who have the choice to stay or not. The other woman has a blame in it as well, if she is aware he is married. Just because a married man hits on a woman does not give her a right to go with it. If she knows he's married then why? That says a lot about them. The blame on the other woman is just if she is aware of the situation. Don't give her a free pass just because the husband was stupid. It takes two to tango. So don't go writing a stupid rant about blaming the spouse for staying, have some fucking compassion for the pain they went through. If you were a good wife, then it was NOT YOUR FAULT that they were a jackass. Both of them.
Look, I understand that those of you that are cheating with married men did not take a vow to be faithful, but have more respect for yourselves! You don't need to be the other woman! Find a man that is going to be good to you for who you are, not for what you have between your damn legs. That's all married men that cheat are looking for. Have more self worth, you are more than a piece of meat.
*whispering*
Brad, is that you?
Well one of my "anonymous" entries is already up here-but I've got one.
When I was 17, a friend of mine(22 at the time) knocked up a random chick and because of her family's religious values, they got married. I doubt he ever loved her, though I think she probably loved him. They had a baby girl and it all happened very fast.
He was bored in the marriage and I was bored in life. And somehow the topic was broached and we were pretty much planning on doing the nasty via a few phone calls.
The next time I saw him was when he was with his wife, new baby(like-2/3 months old), another friend of ours, and me. No one was none the wiser but he was giving me looks at the coffee house we were hanging at, discreetly whispering plans how to get away and do the nasty.
Well, seeing his wife with her brand new baby girl strapped in a stroller, his wife, a very sweet woman who was engaging in conversation-guilt ate at me hard. And I refused his advances and it makes me sick years later that I ever even contemplated it.
They split a few months later, for reasons I don't really know why, because it was one of the last times I saw him. Last I heard, she lives in Oregon and he lives in Ontario. I don't think the marriage had much chance of working out in the first place, but no way was I gonna be a pawn in that situation and possibly break that woman, a new mom and wife's heart.
I cheated on a boyfriend over 20 years ago and ended up with that person for a year and a half, but he ended up cheating on ME and we broke up. Karma, baby! I promised I'd never do it again and never did, even through a terrible 10-year marriage that I finally ended. Now I'm with a great guy and we're getting married next year. We promised each other that if either of us wanted to cheat we'd break up first. Hope we never have to.
I cheated. I thought I'd never do it, but I guess the stars aligned themselves and it happened.
I was unhappy with my job. I had a boss who suddenly turned on me and was making my life miserable. During a conference, I met a coworker. Cute, sweet, and way too young. We became friends and would go out to lunch, IM, etc. I thought nothing of it, but he developed a crush on me.
I quit my job without another one lined up. I thought it would be like any other office relationship, where we'd fizzle out talking to each other. However, a mutual friend gave him my personal IM and email and we continued talking. Our conversations became more and more personal and I found myself becoming emotionally attached. His job switched to nights so he was free at the same time I was. We started hanging out. It eventually became sexual. It was the best sex I ever had - the only time I had ever had an orgasm with just intercourse. I was hooked. I fell in love and we continued for 10 months until he found a single girl. It broke my heart.
We've maintained contact over the past two years, but over the past couple of months he's expressed that he misses me when we don't speak, and how I am more interesting than his current girlfriend. I cannot divorce my deadbeat husband right now, if I did I'd get stuck with palimony. I know I need to cease contact with him, but it's the only comfort I get from my current situation. But at the same time it's killing me because I want so much more from him but I will not go there again. Maybe when I finally get rid of the 240 lb weight on my sofa.
HELLO to my friends out there i am testifying about the good work of a man who help me it has been hell from the day my husband left me i am a woman with two kids my problem stated when the father of my kids travel i never help he was living but as at two weeks i did not set my eye on my husband i try calling but he was not taken my call some week he call me telling me that he has found love some where easy at first i never take to be serous but day after he came to the house to pick his things that was the time i notice that things is going bad i help he will come back but things was going bad day by day i needed to talk to someone about it so i went to his friend but there was no help so i give it up on him month later i met on the the internet a spell caster i never believe on this but i needed my men back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it for doing sake but after three day my husband called me telling me that he his coming home i still do not believe but as at the six day the father to my kids came to the house asking me to for give him the spell work to said to my self from that day i was happy with my family thanks to the esango priest of (abamieghe)esango priest he his a great man you need to try him you can as well to tell him your problem so that he can be of help to you his content email is this esangopriest@hotmail.com indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again. remember his email is esangopriest@hotmail.com
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