Friday, February 11, 2011

Ted C Blind Item

Relationships are hard, nobody know that more than I do, as I divorced last year. Certainly one big reason why I started smoking again (a habit I will no doubt kick, yet again. It's hideous!). So, it's with more than a bit of sympathy I present to you the sad, sad tale of Vicky Vamp-Void, a gal who knows her way around cocaine far better than she does how to make a successful marriage (or career?) work.

Gosh, and there was such hope for cute Vicky, back when she met her sweet, hot man, who some said was even cuter than Vick!

However, not long ago, Vicky and her guy (who's really a pretty fun dude) made a major change to their relationship:

They decided to get the law involved. Out went their pretty free-spirited living arrangement, and in came rules, traditions and California state laws regarding their domestic situation, which ended up totally cramping the young couple, who were very laid back and quite chill before all this.

Therefore, Vicky's back to her bad habits, which she had avoided while with her man. She's recently been hitting the club-and-party scene with abandon, drunkenly snorting blow whenever and wherever she can. And really, the chick is a total mess; she doesn't even always get it up her nostrils—and the white stuff ends up all over some stained shag carpet, or somebody's shoulder, for all the horrified looky-loos to gasp at.

And to be honest, we're really not certain if Vicky's fellow debauched partiers are more aghast at the waste of cocaine or the callous disregard for whoever may be watching.

But the point is, with only a modicum of talent to fall back on and a man who she's decided she really wants nothing to do with, Vicky's momentary blissful moment of healthy living and a more promising career, seem forever dashed...Certainly at this Lindsay-Lohan-type rate, we have to say.

And It Ain't: Scarlett Johansson, Camille Grammer, Courteney Cox

36 comments:

SkittleKitty said...

Nicole Richie?

Merrit said...

Ashley Simpson!

MISCH said...

He said the guy was better looking than the gal...that limits it a bit..

ThoughtElf said...

asslee.

Lori said...

Jaime Pressley?

Jennifer said...

NICOLE RICHIE!

Her and Joel just got married, she was photod with coke up her nose like last week. FTW!

rebellious, contrary and nice said...

Nicole Richie. They should not have had a marriage ceremony. Just go to the justice of peace. It's just a piece of paper.

Pete Wentz is "cute" but not as attractive as Joel.

Danielle said...

Eva Longoria?

Missjenny619 said...

I definitely don't think it is Nicole.

She has a pretty successful jewelry and clothing line.

Also, Ted may have mentioned if there were kiddos involved.

And Nicole just gushed to a magazine the other day that she changed her last name to Madden and she loves when people call her Mrs. Madden.

RocketQueen said...

Well, that settles it. Definitely Ashlee Simpson. In addition to the clues from the past "Vicky Vamp Void" blind, the "modicum of talent" should be the clincher here.

Richie is Pixie Mixie.

Cecilia00 said...

Ashlee. Totally. Ted times his blinds.

__-__=__ said...

Joel is more attractive than Pete?!?!?!? Are you kidding??

RenoBlondee said...

Definetly Ashlee! Everything fits.

BlisterPlease said...

I agree with Ashlee Simpson because of the references to a lack of career and talent...but does anyone really think Pete Wentz is "hot"?

stephani said...
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stephani said...

Hot isn't a word I'd used to describe Pete, however I do think he's cute in a skinny jeans and rock star kind of way. But I do know, from my own social circle, that he had has a number of rabid female fans, who would be EXCITE about FOB going on back out on tour again. This is definitely Ashley. I don't care for FOB's music but I've heard Pete is nothing but gracious to his fans and seems like a pretty chill guy.

Kara said...

I like the Jamie Pressley guess.

I mean, she is kind of a mess with that DUII and all. And I don't know that I would describe Ashlee as "chill" or "laid back".

Joan/Dewey said...

Fergie and Josh Duhamel

RocketQueen said...

Just a reminder of what an asshole Ashlee is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRCPkfxbzIo

And yes, I think Pete is cute...he's awfully talented, and that goes a long way in my eyes :)

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Totally that younger Simpson sister.

shakey said...

How long have Asslee and Pete been married. Seems like forever to me. So basically, while she was dating him she was good, but after the baby was born she became Coke Mom, possibly?

RocketQueen said...

@shakey - no, she was coked out before she met Pete. Always had issues around her weight - if you read the first Vicky Vamp Void vice, she was doing a lot of drugs when she met Pete, I think they both fell into it together for a time (he joined her despite being straight edge before - actually, I remember reading all but one of the boys in Fall Out Boy were straight edge), cleaned up around the time they had Bronx, now she's back into it.

I think we eliminated her for Coke Mom for a number of reasons. Coke Mom is either Angie/Debra, right?

Merlin D. Bear said...

Ashley, no doubt.

Sis said...

I'm not sure who it is, but with the exception of Scarlett Johansen I would say she is a bit older than Ashley and Nicole, or the name has a few C's in it or ? Geez it's Ted, what do I expect?

rose said...

I can't get over how different Ashley used to look. The whole shape of her head is different.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qh86kHt_fYA&feature=related

sunnyside1213 said...

Sad.

GladysKravitz said...

I think the saddest part of this blind is the news that Ted Casablanca got divorced. I didn't know. I'm sorry to hear that. He only got married a few years ago, as I remember.

Miss(pdx) said...

I'd bet good money on Ashlee..anyone wanna gamble?

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cricket said...

Got to be Ashlee Simpson. Too bad Pete seems like a nice guy who doesn't want to lose his family.

abigail7881 said...

It seems like it's asslee, but I don't get the "and it ain't".

abigail7881 said...

plus, even though I don't think Pete is all that cute/attractive, I can see where Ted would.