Friday, July 01, 2011

Paris Hilton Already Spreading Her Germs Again


Look, if you have spent the past several years in prison, have never seen a television or read a tabloid or if you are suffering from some type of disease which causes you to find women with very large hands attractive, then I would understand if you went out with Paris Hilton once. Once. Oh, and you would probably leave early and bathe in hand sanitizer after and that is just from an air kiss and being at the same table. I cannot begin to imagine the amount of toxic cleanup that would be required if you shared anything more intimate. So, explain to me how Paris Hilton keeps getting dates. The latest victim is Todd Phillips. Yes, the guy who directed the Hangover movies. He obviously has no shame because he was spotted actually swapping spit making out with Paris in public. As in front of people. They then spent the night together. I swear they have not invented a bio-hazard suit strong enough for me to ever contemplate that. If the two of us were the last people on earth, the world would die out. Just sayin'.

17 comments:

jbdean_79 said...
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MISCH said...

You'd have to live on Mars not to know.
Since he probably has the herp and maybe a few more STD's he may not care.
I think Los Angeles has a 1 to 1 ratio rather than the 1 in 4 or 5 that the rest of the states have.

Rose said...

We should probably just get the joke about him not even remembering the evening out of the way.

I guess talent doesn't equal standards.

Nickola-Lola said...
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jbdean_79 said...
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pomme said...

when you see THE HANGOVER movie and his taste for "all-star" poker with Maguire,Dicaprio,Affleck & co, you can understand why he dated with Paris H:it's his life since always

Ida Blankenship said...

Her new dude might not care about her cooter cooties. Maybe he's got a few genital issues of his own.

Either way, Paris is rich, and will always be rich. Therefore, it doesn't surprise me that she never runs out of suitors, even if she *is* a completely heinous person.

nataliesingerart said...

What a hilariously written post..I needed a good laugh..thank you.

amh.producer said...

i'm just glad it's not Chuck, aka Zachary Levi, as someone else said it might be.

JasonBlueEyes said...

Now we can look forward to a Paris cameo in Hangover 3.

I wonder what Zach G. would say about that?

girltrav said...

Paris' Panty Crickets, ick nast.

The Black Cat said...

Urghhhhhh, ewwwwww.

ardleigh said...

Thanks Enty for making me laugh after a sucky kind of day! Thanks too for having the discriminating taste in females not to LUV the Puppy Killing Queen of Valtrex.

timebob said...

well she is nothing if not practical. Her reality show tanked and doubt a network would give her another crappy show.

So she starts boinking a director in the hopes of getting an acting job.

But she shouldn't hold her breath with for Todd to get her a gig.

MadLyb said...

I'm no rocket scientist, but I think it could be because she is filthy rich, carries coke in her purse, gets a lot of publicity, is reasonably attractive in that plastic, blonde bimbo sort of way some guys like, and she is probably 100% guaranteed to put out.

parissucksliterally said...

So soon after she is was "so in love" with that Cy Waits guy? She can't be alone for more than 2 weeks. She is so pathetic.

I LOVE that her show is flopping. I think it is hilarious. She is trying so hard to be what she was, and it is over for her. I just look forward to the day it happens for Kim K. too.

RocketQueen said...

Lol MadLyb! You might be onto something, because we all know it can't be that supposed cavernous vagina of hers. ;)